Why Asian and European Videos Are Better

[bill oreilly]

My staff, interns, producers and reporters alike, have researched the bejeezus out of this subject. We have come to the following conclusions:

Asian women are easier to look at.
       Now, before all of you PC mavens get your panties in a bunch, noted liberal Jerry
        Seinfeld once pointed out, in the “Donna Chang” episode, that its not racist if you
       like it. Its just that, if you are going to watch a match with average looking women,
       its better to watch Asians. Simply put, a homely looking Asian woman is easier to look at than a
       homely Caucasian woman. You could argue this, but as I like to say, you'd be wrong. 

       Really hot European women, on the other hand, are a different story all together.
       Foxycombat proves that Czech women make the best looking fighters. Again you
       could argue, but you'd be wrong.

Crack has ruined American video producers.
        Well, it hasn’t ruined them personally, but its ruined their product. Well, it isn’t
         really the crack, it’s the fact that it leads to tattoos.

The American economy has ruined American video producers.
        Well, it hasn’t ruined them personally, but its given the models too many options. 
         As Academybruce pointed out in a now defunct posting, why should an American
         model wrestle hard in a 6 hour shoot for $500 when she can suck cock and smoke
         pot between takes for $1500? If those are my choices, this reporter will suck cock
         every time.   
       
There you have it.

[connor]

Bill,
Good grief!

You've sunk too low, you've joined the junkies. You've lost your perspective.Buy yourself a rose tinted mirror, things will look better, even tattooed homely maidens.

[bill oreilly]

Connor, mon amis,  first off, I think you mean rose-tinted glasses, rather than a rose –tinted mirror. Watching a wrestling match in a rose-tinted mirror throws everything off. Left becomes right, right becomes left, and we haven’t even begun to talk about how it messes with depth perception. Mirrors are good for grooming, and an overhead mirror can ensure a luffa is stuck up one’s ass just so.

With rose-tinted specs, the tattoos might blend into the skin a bit more, become less of  nuisance and annoyance, so you make a fine and valuable point there, my young friend. But the fact remains that  homely Asian girls are still easier to look at than homely Caucasian girls. We have lots of documentation on this, as well as anecdotal evidence, but we will interview a bunch of right wing optometrists just to check our facts. That’s who we are; its what we do.

Connor, it’s a complex, fully-realized multi-cultural argument I have put forth in this important study. It's conclusions came as a surprise to this reporter. But  Connor, you’re just going to have to accept these facts. Take it from me: sometimes the truth is harder to swallow than a load of cum.

And there you have it.

[connor]

No Bill, the mirror will improve your outlook: the feel-good factor.

[bill oreilly]

Connor, you seem unable to get past a device which, at the end of the day, is only good for reflecting images, with an optional tint. This reporter is after the bigger picture, and is more interested in reflecting the human condition, irregardless of tint. Its my job to take issues of great complexity and break them down so that the “folks” might be in a better position to misunderstand them. Think of me as the “Foreign Affairs Quarterly” for Springer Country, for those clinging to their guns and religion.

The female fighting video output from various regions around the world can be of great help in understanding their unfortunate indigenous inhabitants, and how to deal with them a) in the global marketplace and b) on the battlefield if they are too successful in the global marketplace. Lets take the Middle East.  For us female fight video fans, The Prophet Muhammad really screwed the pooch. Who wants to see a fight between two women in hijabs and burqas?  You don’t know if its Angelina Jolie and Pam Anderson, or Nancy Grace (reference previous post about how homely Asian women are easier to look at than homely caucasians) battling the Oprah.

Africa has no female fighting video industry. The only video equipment was stolen by Mugabe and Mobutu, and all the good fighters had to move to France to make a living.

That leaves the US and Central Europe. In the US, its sort of like a Faustian morality play, a battle where the forces of “Sunset Tan” (aka Beauty) lost to “Miami Ink.” (self-inflicted disfigurement). All the US fighters have tattoo and crack issues, and all the potential great fighters cannot resist the lure of cock, chronic and cash.

So in the end, its all about Central Europe. Foxycombat has the best looking women, and G.R. at DWW has the vision and the long range Dunkin’ Donuts-style business plan.