I haven’t been feeling well at all, guys. I’m just going to wing it with this one and see what comes out because I’m on medication and my hands can’t stop shaking lol. I want to wish you all Happy Holidays and I hope that you are safe because many of us have lost people to accidents and all sorts of craziness because of alcohol and texting while driving. Around this time a year ago, I almost lost my life because of someone's negligience, so have fun, but please be safe.
Wildfire
I knew a girl named Danielle many years ago. She was beautiful and dangerous, the type of woman who lived life for the moment and dreamed of a better future, but didn’t care if she died tonight or ten minutes from now. The kind of woman who wanted a man she could grow old with, but she would also say that she wanted to die young. Danielle was all of 5’2” and may have weighed 125 lbs, much of that due to her breasts and butt. She had gypsy brown eyes, a big round face with fat cheeks, well defined eyebrows, a distinct nose, a smooth stomach with a perfectly round innie navel that stuck in a little, but got smaller the deeper you looked into it. She, like a girl I knew named Jeannine, had an Italian mother and a Mexican father and loved to drink and party. She could come and sit on your lap one minute, and punch you in the balls the next, then kiss you on the lips one minute, then beat up your girlfriend the next.
She’d drive around in her little green Toyota Tercel and if she saw a girl who’d mouthed off to her at a gas station or in one of the parking spaces at Sonic, waiting for the waitress on roller skates to bring her the food, she’d park the car wherever she was, jump out and a fight would ensue. She had a machete under her front seat, but she only tried to use it if she was outnumbered. She’d go to Razoo’s or The Cat’s Meow and drink you under the table, then you’d have to help her watch the road while she drove you home. She was a real woman; she was a wildfire with a vicious sidekick and a killer right cross, and she was connected to every man she met, one way or another.
But you reach a point where you want to really be loved, right? Every good guy that comes along, you can’t be with him because you’re grounded in this reality of betrayals and cheaters and whores and you just think it’s too good to be true. Somebody’s going to fuck it all up… that was her excuse. So, she ran from one bad boy to the next and she became the very breaker of hearts that she despised so long ago. I don’t know who broke her heart and turned her into what she was; it may not have been one person. But I refuse to believe that a woman so beautiful and so talented with an artist and poet could be so ugly on her own.
She was introduced to the drugs and the raves and the mosh pits and violent men and late night street fights and times and brawl after brawl after brawl. She cheated on her boyfriends, but if she caught them cheating on her, she’d go to war with them and with those women dumb enough to be caught. I once saw her hit a girl in the jaw so hard, she rolled over three tables and hit her head on the bar… no kidding; you had to be there to see it. She had a lust for violence as strong as her lust for sex as a means to avoid love… but she fell in love with a guy named Doug. He told her upon meeting her, “My name’s Doug; that’s ‘god’ spelled backwards with a little ‘u’ in it.” She was drunk and she fell for it; they fucked that night. Of course, he took her here and there, but there are twenty-four hours in a day and he was trying to cheat on her with a light skinned Black girl about 5’3” with really really long black hair named Maya, who would go to the same bars that they went to.
The rule is; you confront your boyfriend, not the other woman. But Danielle didn’t adhere to that rule, downed beer after beer after beer after beer and confronted Maya. Maya didn’t know what Danielle was talking about and Danielle started throwing punches. Danielle didn’t know Maya was a third degree black belt in tae kwon do and when all her punches were blocked, she never saw the palm thrust to her chin that snapped her head back and staggered her. Everyone had seen Danielle fight and seen her kick ass, but they knew what Maya was and none of the girls ever really tried her. Danielle was already in tears from seeing her man trying to get with this girl, so she went back at her again, this time she hit the 5’3” 130 lb Black girl in the shoulder while she was sitting down, but got back-fisted into a table. Maya stood up and asked Danielle what her problem was, but Danielle just spit and cursed at her, charging in again, just to get hip tossed onto the bar. I could see Danielle had fucked her back up; she had a cut right across the tattoo she had on the small of it and she stayed down, holding her back. Maya decided to leave, but right before she got to the door of the place, Danielle hit her from behind with a bottom of Hennessey and Maya was hurt bad. Danielle must’ve kneed poor Maya in the ribs seven or eight times before throwing her down the stairs. Who knows how it would’ve turned out if Danielle hadn’t have hit her from behind with that bottle, but Danielle undefeated street fighting record was still in tact heh heh.
That’s when Danielle got kicked out of the bar for the last time. I remember driving her to a park and watching her cry and curse and down so much beer, til she grabbed me and tongue me down right on the bench. I was always there for Danielle, but I could never get in a relationship with her because I just didn’t expect her to be faithful and Danielle was cut from the same cloth as the other Mexican/Italian chick I knew named Jeannine. She was night and day, yin and yang just like one of her other tattoos. She was just unpredictable. She kicked the drug habit, but she kept ties with a lot of the girls she had met and beaten up… it’s strange; they’d all gotten their asses kicked by her and she was taking the money she’d accumulated from buying and selling drugs and years later, about ten of them and I was by her side through it all, she purchased some building and turned it into a strip club, employing those girls and some of the prostitutes who walked on the corner nearby, after Pussy Whipper the pimp got stabbed to death. After a few months, she was able to buy a small house and naturally, I moved in with her and got a job as an exterminator. She worked during the day and night, but in her spare time, she would stay in shape by working on the punching bag we had in our garage and sometimes, we’d spar… well, until she bruised my ribs and busted my nose. She’d come home late at night and we’d fuck; sometimes, she’d smell like some other girl or girls’ pussies, but it was okay… fuck, I wasn’t being faithful my damn self, lol. I knew I couldn’t tame the wildfire, so why not just have fun?
Of course, that’s when I went and fucked it all up, because if things were so goody goody, then you wouldn’t be reading this story, right? You know, Danielle has all these girls; how am I supposed to know who to fuck and who not to fuck? So, her so-called best friend comes into town and I go to pick her up. Really tall blonde girl, maybe 5’10” who says her name is Nick but looks like a bigger tittied version of Charlize Theron, right down to the cute but kinda chipmunk mouth and teeth to the hair to the sexy tan stomach with a barely in sticking oval shaped navel that was slanted slightly to the left. So, while Danielle was at work… fuck… I’ll just let it be known. Nick sucked my dick and she wasn’t very quick; when I told Danielle, she screamed and yelled, and looked like she was getting sick. Yeah… wasn’t my best rhyme, but I’m drunk as I’m telling it, so whatever. You know, I figured I’d be honest with her about it; we’re not a couple (or are we?) I don’t understand these open relationships and I don’t fucking understand. Maybe if you choose to reply to this, you can explain it to me, but anyway…
“I can’t fucking believe you, Tony!!” she yelled at me, “I can’t fucking believe you’d fuck my friend, my employee behind my back like that!!”
“Sorry baby,” I said, trying to hug her, “I just wanna hold you. It’s you I want. I’ve been feening for you ever since.”
“Fuck you, Tony,” she said, “You just like me for my booty and my pussy; that’s it. You don’t love me and I don’t fucking love you, so just cut the bullshit.”
And here comes my trump card, the classic line that always seals the deal, “But baby, I can explain!!”
She was the type of girl who couldn’t have cared less about my explanations. She was a different breed of woman, a wildfire who longed for something that even she didn’t know and didn’t believe she could have. And you know what? Carpe diem, living for the moment… I bet that shit is in most folks’ minds but they’re doing it out of indifference and depression. We can’t all be movie stars and presidents and stuff; some of us have to make up the mediocre folk in the world and that’s where she was on paper, but her spirit and aura were unbelievable. She grabbed Nick off of the couch and started wailing on her, hitting her with punches to her face. Little as Danielle was, she was getting the best of the bigger girl and Nick was just covering up and crying, but she shoved her hands forward and managed to knock Danielle off of her. Danielle bumped her head on the coffee table in front of the couch, but caught Nick when the tall blonde was trying to run to the bathroom… probably to lock herself in it. Danielle looked at me and I just put my hands behind my back and lowered my head like a punished kid outside the principle’s office. I made the puppy dog eyes, the pouted mouth, all of it… hell, maybe Danielle would put on her dominatrix gear and punish me and Nick both later. But instead, she got the boxing gloves, and all I remember was the worst pain I’d ever felt in my life when she uppercut me in the balls.
I don’t remember much of what happened next because I was in soooo much pain, but I did get my memory back in the backyard where Danielle was yelling at Nick to put the boxing gloves on. Danielle was wearing a gray tank top and a pair of bell bottomed blue jeans with baby blue sneakers while Nick had on a gold tank top, a pair of blue jean shorts and was barefoot. I knew by the look on Nick’s face that she wasn’t going to be any match for Danielle. Danielle was eight inches shorter than Nick, but Danielle had attitude and was a natural fighter. Plus, Danielle was Nick’s boss, for Pete’s sake. Who would fight her own boss? You could get fired! I remember Nick reluctantly putting on the boxing gloves and Danielle was in a crouched stance, with her legs really bent and her arms low and fists tight… reminded me of Rocky Marciano’s stance. Usually, I’d see Danielle bouncing on her toes and sticking and moving when she fought; she’d pick much taller girls apart, but leave her body open. This was a different stance, but a smarter one. Nick looked terrified.
“Danielle!!” I yelled, “Don’t hurt her!! She don’t know what she did!! You can blame it all on me! I was wrong; now I just live without cha!!”
And then… it happened. I was so into it; I was screaming between drunken belches for Danielle not to hurt Nick. Danielle rushed in on Nick and the tall blonde threw a telegraphed straight right hand that hit Danielle on the forehead and Danny’s head snapped back and she slid on the grass. The blonde had her left hand out and reaching and her right hand was tucked just below her chin. Danielle saw this and her eyes kinda wiggled around and her eyebrows lowered like she was thinking about something. She started bouncing on her toes like usual and went after the blonde, but she took a jab to her distinct Italian nose and her head snapped back again. Dan tried to dance from side to side and look for an opening, but when she moved to the left, pop! A jab to the nose, and to the right, bam! Another jab to the nose. The blonde had power and she had to know how to fight a bit better than I thought and a bit better than Danielle thought too. But the blonde threw a jab at Danielle’s chest and my little scrapper moved out of the way, cracking that blonde male molester in the cheek with a hard right hand and following it up with another one to her side, then hooking around a left to the blonde’s belly, folding her with an “OOF!”
Danielle was on her now, man! She was the type of women who didn’t pull hair unless she had to. She circled around Nick, hitting her with hard left hands to her ribs and forcing her to fold over, bringing her hands up to cover her head and stomach, and Danielle tagged her with rights to her kidneys and nailed her in the ear, sending that big blonde bitch who took full advantage of me against my will down to the grassy ground. Hey look; you may think that I’m lying about her taking advantage of me, but if a woman has your dick in her mouth and she’s not stopping, you don’t want to argue with her and risk damaging your investment, get it? Got it? Goooooooooooood!!! The more I drink, the weirder it feels recounting this tale of the wildfire named Danielle. Anyway, the big blonde was hurting bad and I could hear her crying. Danielle was yelling stuff at her like “We were friends and you went and fucked it all up!!” between landing all those hard shots to the body, breaking that big girl down. One thing I noticed about the younger Danielle as opposed to the 30 year old Danielle who fought Nick was that 19 year old Danielle would go primarily for the face; 30 year old Danielle was more experienced and watched enough boxing, wrestling, and MMA with me to know about punching and kicking to the body to take the will and desire from her opponents. We actually saw the Battle of New Orleans card live when Allison Payne hit Marie B. in the stomach with a left hook and how Marie was on the mat crying for twenty minutes and how Marie said afterward that the punch Allison gave her was the hardest punch she’d ever taken. Of course, Danielle said she could kick Marie B’s ass.
One hard left to the liver, and Nick’s legs buckled. Danielle would make these “um” noises when she punched; she was the type of woman who really loved to layeth the smacketh down on a roody poo candy ass bitch who wanted to kidnap me in my own house and torture my penis with her tongue. But Danielle was breathing heavy and she stood straight up; she was trying to knock the blonde down, and she didn’t, so now, she was trying to push her down. The blonde threw a right uppercut and that motherfucking punch lifted Danielle off her feet and she landed three feet back with a surprised “uff!!”… but she was on her feet when landed (author’s note: I hate feet).
“Didn’t have enough, huh bitch?” Danielle said, huffing and puffing, “Want more? I’ve got plenty more.”
She rushed in again, landing a solid winging right to Nick’s left side, but she didn’t guard her own body and left her left hand low, so the big blonde slammed a right hand to Danielle’s jaw, stunning her as she tried to grab the taller girl, but Nick shoved her back. Then Nick stepped in slowly and cautiously threw a straight right that caught Danielle on the point of her chin and sent her down on her sexy ass. I was surprised; the blonde was surprised, but no one may have been more surprised than Danielle herself because she didn’t get up immediately. She tried to get up, but she fell back down, then when she did get up, she was slower to raise her fists and she had a different look on her face… she was hurt, but she also didn’t look confident. The look disappeared though and she darted in on Nick, cracking the blonde with a left hook to her jaw that stunned her into a right hand that sent her down with an “unnnhhhh!!!” but as Danielle rushed in for a soccer kick to the face, Nick caught her leg and tripped her. I heard Danielle make a high pitched “AHH!!” as she crashed into my little barbeque grill and knocked it to the ground, wasting my good Kingsford Charcoal all over the place (Kingsford… you get a better flavor out of your meat)… if she had knocked over the hookah we have sitting on the patio table, I would’ve snapped.
Danielle turned around and groaned a loud “UNNHH!!” from a hard right cross to her jaw that knocked her onto the table, so I grabbed the hookah off of it… look, one of these girls forced herself on me and the other one hit me in the balls… I ain’t breaking it up. I need to go outside of Louisiana to get me a girl. Maybe they’re a bit more tame in South Africa or Wales. I fired up the hookah and started smoking it between chugs of beer. I had the Miller Lite vortex bottle. The bottle has groves on it for maximum drinkage. You don’t think it’s a big deal? Well, when you stop fantasizing about your mom, then you can come over and I’ll give you one, ha ha! I wear my sunnnnnglasses at night, so I can so I can… anyway, Nick was hitting Danielle with repeated right hands to her jaw and she got her in the nose, making that thing start bleeding… I just farted… uh oh, gotta get out the after-fart too… anyway, Danielle grabbed her by her shoulders and kneed her in the belly, forcing out a mammoth “OUGH!!” from the blonde, then my little scrapper pushed her back and moved in, just to get deck by another right hand. This time, Danielle really looked hurt; she was flat on her back and I realized that the blonde’s eyes were black… shit, how’d that happen? She barely got hit in the face. Nick leaned against the table and I started to gesture her over and undo my pants because you know, I have to get mine. But like Rocky against… everybody he’s ever fought, well except those no names at the beginning of “Rocky III,” Danielle got to her feet, and raised her hands. I could hear the theme music playing as she beckoned the big tall blonde to come on and finish it. “Dun na naaaaa, dun na naaaaa!! Da nana, nananaaaa, danana nana nana, na naaaaaaa, weeeeeeeee!!!”
I watched as my dark brown haired beauty, the wildfire, the woman who lived freely and drank heavily, the woman of my dreams and my nightmares and my drunken fuckfests charged in on the big blonde, and watched her take a vicious left hook to her temple that turned her head and made her do a dance, bringing her right hand to the spot and looking at Nick, then an uppercut that dug into her belly at the navel very deep, forcing a loud “OOOMMMPPPHHH!!!!” from her and lifting poor Danielle off her feet while doubling her over, three more uppercuts to the belly and three more “OOOMMMPPPHHH!!!” noises as Danielle tried to back away, but she took a jab to her jaw and staggered back, her eyes rolling in her head as she leaned her back against the table, going “UNNNHHH!!” from the right cross the big blonde landed, and “GGGAAAAUUUHHH!!!” from another left uppercut that hit her right on the bellybutton. The blonde pinned Danielle’s head back against the table with her right glove, then forced all the remaining air out of her with an “OOOOH HOO HOOOF!!!” of an elbow to that softening belly. Danielle had gotten older and she was still fit, but she got tired easier and her body naturally wasn’t the ball of energy it was in her fighting days. The fact that she smoked, weed and regular cigarettes and cigars, didn’t help her endurance in a fight… but she could still fuck the fur off King Kong though… that’s what they call me, ladies. And don’t worry about getting pregnant; I wrap the big thing up. And my big thing is the real big thing; Brock Lesnar ain’t shit.
Nick yanked Danielle off the bench and shoved her back. My little scrapper jumped and “OOF!!”-ed or “OUGH”-ed from six hard uppercuts to her stomach. She held on for dear life, doubled over with her arms wrapped around Nick’s waist and Nick’s bottoms came down, but Nick hooked her arms under Danielle, resting her gloved hands on Danielle’s belly, hoisted her up, and power bombed her right on the grass, forcing a sickening “UHHHHHH!!” from the brunette Danielle as she lay there spread eagle. Nick yanked off Danielle’s top and bra, revealing her deceptively large breasts and smooth but deceptively soft stomach with that round innie navel all bruised up. She yanked down Danielle’s pants and removed her panties to reveal that big pussy I love with those well groomed pubes that I stroked in her car many years ago and that now decorate my toothbrush like ornaments on a Christmas tree. Danielle looked up at Nick and was trying to breathe or say something or whatever, but Nick pulled her up and drove another left deep into her belly; all I heard was “whoosh” as whatever air Danielle had was driven back out of her. Then, Nick snatched the hookah from me and stuck the pipe up Danielle’s pussy and Danielle came instantly and came hard (Oh Danny girl, the pipes, the pipes are calling!! From out your pussy, and down the hookah pipe. Your fight is gone, and how my libido’s calling, I hope you and Nick will grant me a threesome tonight)… great; we’ll never get the taste of that out of there. Sometimes, believe it or not, I smoke the hookah to stop myself from thinking about sex, and now… fuck it; I guess I’ll just thinking about sex while I’m smoking it. Danielle looked at Nick, her so-called best friend and uttered three words I’d never heard her say; I could barely hear them when they were said, but they meant a lot coming from her.
“You beat me.”
Then Nick drove one more uppercut deep into Danielle’s belly while it was relaxed, forcing a loud “OOOUUUGGGHHH!!” from her as she squirted cum on the hookah, on Nick, and on the grass and crumbled to a fetal position. Nick pulled Danielle up and carried her to our bedroom, and I followed up the stairs… only to get the door slammed in my face, then have it opened. I knew they couldn’t do shit without the dick; I mean, you gotta have the dick, right?
“Sorry,” Nick said, “I believe this is yours.”
She handed me the hookah and closed the door. What the fuck? I mean, literally speaking, what the fuck?!! I had to sleep on the couch and when I came home from work the next morning, my stuff was out in the driveway. She kicked me out; my wildfire kicked me out. I went to the strip club, but she ignored me; she was with Nick now and they were tonguing each other down and fucking in her office while I was in there trying to talk her into letting me back in the house. Eventually, I just gave up and I saw that she added another room to her house and she’s got two more strip clubs now. She’s building a “fucking empire” and I’m living in a trailer park in Lafayette. I can’t live like this!! Women fight around here all the time about the dumbest shit!! You can’t leave me here in this crazy fucked up ass country motherfucker! I can’t see, pollen all over the fucking place turning my black Monte Carlo yellow!! Get me out of this country motherfucker before something happens!! Some crazy Cajun goth girl with spiky blonde hair might try to rape me, man!! Help!!!
