THERE IS NO CRYING IN BASEBRAWL! (Part Two) “You girls may not know this but, back when I was younger, I played ball just like you do,” Mrs. Ogilthorpe says, between sips of chamomile tea. “It was a long time ago, of course. I was a Bloomer Girl, don’t you know.”
The Sweethearts all roll their eyes and try to stifle groans with their hands or by coughing quietly. All except for the right fielder, who sits by the old lady’s rocker, with her teacup in her lap and a vacant smile on her face. The owner of the rooming house they stay in is a sweet old lady but they’d heard her tell her ‘I was a Bloomer Girl back in the old barnstorming days forty years ago’ story dozens of times. Mrs. Ogilthorpe sure loves to talk but tonight the Sisseton Sweethearts are in no mood to listen.
A few hours have passed since the big brawl on the ballfield with the Parker Prairie Princesses interrupted the Fourth of July game. The Sweethearts are still pretty pissed; some more than others. Jonica is stamping around the room in a blind fury. “That bitch Jenna made me eat grass,” she sputters. “Nobody does that to me! Nobody!”
Jessika still wears her catcher’s mitt and she repeatedly slams a baseball into it. “Yeah, well, that blonde tramp Tasha is gonna pay for cheap-shotting me after pulling my protector up over my face!” The constant loud thwaps of the ball smacking the mitt are too much for the other girls to take. Justine walks over and grabs the ball from her catcher’s hand.
“Relax,” she says. “It’s over. We’ll get them tomorrow.”
“That’s easy for you to say, Justine,” Marie mutters. Nasty red scratch marks run down her left cheek, courtesy of the fingernails of the Princess third baseman, Jess. “Your bitch ran away from you.”
“Yeah, and she’s probably still running,” Kayla added. “I bet she’s in Wyoming by now.”
“I remember this one time,” Mrs. Ogilthorpe rambles on. “It was back in 1909, I think it was. Or maybe 1910 … ”
Manager Tony Walters walks in, followed by Jenn Peccavi.
“Good news,” he says. “I talked to the league official and nobody is getting suspended for what happened today. From either team. I know, they started it with their damn bush league bullshit … Ah, sorry, Jenn. Sorry, Mrs. Whatever-your-name-is.”
“That’s alright, Mr. Walters,” the old lady chirps, smiling sweetly. “I’ve heard my share of blue language back in my Bloomer Girl days. This one time … ”
“That’s nice, ma’am,” Tony interrupts. “Point is, he really wasn’t all that upset about the fighting and stuff. Said it spiced things up and the crowd didn’t seem to mind either.”
“Figures,” one of the girls mutters.
“It’s been on the air all over here and in Minnesota too. All the radio stations picked it up and I bet it’ll be in all the papers tomorrow.”
Jenn adds, “I heard they already sold a lot of tickets for tomorrow’s game and are expecting a big crowd. Much bigger than today.”
Laurie has been sitting quietly in the corner. No one notices her as she gets up and leaves the room. No one except the right fielder, who notices everything but rarely understands what anything means. She watches the little second baseman sneak out and just sits there by Mrs. Ogilthorpe, sipping her tea happily.
Jonica pipes up, “Well, if they come expecting a fight, let’s give ‘em what they want!” The rest of the girls nod and voice their support of this plan.
“No,” Tony cuts them off. “That’s exactly what’s NOT gonna happen! We aren’t starting shit. We play like we always do. Hard but fair. But … ” He raises his hand, index finger extended. “BUT … if they start shit, they get shit. We give it back to them. Double what they give us. Triple. A shit blizzard, that’s what they’ll get. A shitquake of shit.”
Jenn puts a hand on his arm. “I think they get the picture, Tony.”
“Right. Now, about the game. Since today’s was called early, Justine, you think your arm is up to pitching again tomorrow?”
“You just try to stop me, Skip,” is her reply.
“Good. That’s what I wanted to hear. I want you to stay in tonight. Go to bed early. Ice your elbow, rub liniment on it, get it damn good and ready. Jessika, you stay with her. Go over the hitters.” He sees the disappointed looks on their faces and knows they’re about to protest so he adds, “That’s an order. End of discussion.”
“I’ll keep my eye on them,” Jenn adds, with a stern look on her face.
“I feel like I’m fourteen again,” Justine mumbles to Jessika.
“This is what prison must be like,” Jessika whispers.
“One last thing.” Tony points a finger at Sara. “You’re playing second base tomorrow, Sara. I’m putting Laurie in left field. She’s too much of a target for them in the infield. You understand, right, Laurie?”
For the first time, everyone notices the empty chair.
“Laurie? Anybody see where she went?”
The right fielder continues to sip her tea, looking out the picture window dreamily.
***************
Laurie hurries east on Cherry Street, stopping every now and then to look over her shoulder, half expecting to see her teammates rushing after her. She’s almost positive nobody saw her sneak out. She isn’t even sure exactly why she did it. One minute she was in the room listening to Tony with the rest of the girls; the next minute a loud voice blasted in her brain, telling her she had to find that bitch Kasia RIGHT NOW and pay her back for what she did on the field. Almost like a sleepwalker, Laurie found herself tiptoeing out of the room and down the hall, slipping out the door without a sound.
Cherry Street is deserted. Very few lights are on in the houses. She knows that practically everyone is at the high school on the other side of town for the annual fireworks show. It’s not as big as the ones she loved when she was growing up, but there is a war on and the boys fighting overseas need the gunpowder and all that stuff. But most everybody is still out there with picnic baskets and blankets. Pretty soon someone will break out a guitar and another someone will pull a mouth harp from their pocket. Maybe a fiddle will show up out of nowhere and, before you know it, folks will start singing and dancing and forget about all the bad war news. For a little while anyways. Just like they do when they go to the ballgame. Like this afternoon.
“This afternoon. Kasia. That bitch. She started all this,” Laurie thinks to herself. “Well, I’m gonna make her real sorry she did!”
Walking faster now, with purpose, Laurie goes north up 5th Avenue toward Chestnut Street heading to the rooming house where the Parker Prairie Princesses are staying. She knows the house well. One of her grade school friends lived next door. They used to play in the backyard. She knew the owners of the rooming house, an older couple named Gunderson, would remember her.
***************
Back at Mrs. Ogilthorpe’s, the meeting is breaking up. A few of the girls decide to stay in. Maybe read a bit, write letters back home, listen to the radio. It’s still fairly early, hours before curfew, so others ask if they can go out for a little while. Jenn says it’s okay, just don’t get into trouble and be sure to be back by curfew. Tony asks them to keep a lookout for Laurie.
“Remember,” he says. “She grew up here so she could be God knows anywhere.”
***************
Laurie turns onto Chestnut Street and stops at the corner. She looks up the street, the rooming house is about a block away. A few lights are on inside. A red Ford DeLuxe convertible coupe is parked in front. The top is down. Laurie takes a few steps but stops short when she hears voices and laughter coming from the car. She quickly ducks behind a tree before they notice her. Then she pokes her head out to get a better look. A man and a woman are in the convertible. The woman throws her head back and laughs softly. Her blonde hair shines in the glow of the streetlight. Laurie recognizes her.
Stevie Foster.
Stevie slides closer to the man and throws her arms around his neck. Laurie squints but she can’t make out who the man is. All she can tell is that he has gray hair, appears kind of chunky and has a fat nose like that actor W.C. Fields.
Laurie stays in the shadows as she sneaks between houses and darts into the backyard of her friend’s old home. Then, just like she used to do as a young girl with her friend, she slips through the gap in the hedges into the Gunderson’s yard and hurries to the bulkhead door leading down to the cellar. She pulls the creaky wooden door open, moves down the steps and quietly closes it behind her.
***************
Moppin’ up soda pop rickeys
To our heart’s delight
Dancin’ to swingeroo quickies
Jukebox Saturday night
Sara and Sadie are sitting at the counter of Mom Maloney’s Malt Shoppe, listening to the jukebox, tapping their feet on the rail in time with the music. Sara sips a Root Beer Float and giggles when Sadie points at the foam moustache on the blonde’s upper lip. Owney, the moon-eyed soda jerk who has a major crush on all the Sweethearts, practically breaks his neck rushing over with a fresh napkin for Sara. Sadie is drinking a black-and-white ice cream soda. She pulls the straw from the glass and slowly licks the vanilla ice cream off it. Owney swallows hard and suddenly becomes very busy wiping the counter.
The place isn’t very crowded for a Sunday night. A group of teenagers are at the tables by the jukebox and one of the boys is hunched over it, studiously looking over the song selection as he feeds nickels into the machine and hits the buttons. An elderly couple shares a banana split at a table by the wall farthest away from the music machine. A small girl shyly approaches the Sweethearts at the counter and, in a voice barely louder than a breathy whisper, asks for their autographs. Owney gives them a pen and they sign her napkin. The little girl then rushes back happily to her parents.
Glenn Miller’s
Jukebox Saturday Night fills the room. The teenage girls squeal and jump up, followed by their more than eager boyfriends and they start dancing to the lively tune. Sadie slide off the counter stool and begins dancing too. She pulls Sara to her feet and the two girls start doing a little jitterbugging by the counter.
***************
“I know Laurie, and I’m betting you she went after Kasia.”
Jonica and Marie stand on the sidewalk in front of Mrs. Ogilthorpe’s.
“I know she’s dumb as a post,” Marie answers. “But there’s no way she’s stupid enough to march over there alone. What does she want to do, fight the whole damn team all by herself?”
“You know what she’s like when she gets mad. Remember when she threw that bottle of pop at you?”
Marie thinks about this for a minute. “You’re right,” she finally says. “We’d better get over there and save her from an ass kicking.”
Jonica grins. “And here I thought you can’t stand her.”
“I can’t,” Marie replies. “But if anybody is gonna beat the crap out of Laurie, it’s gonna be me. Not some candy-assed Parker Prairie Princess!”
***************
Even in the semi-darkness of the damp cellar, Laurie is familiar enough with the surroundings that she makes it to the stairs leading up to the main floor of the house with no problem. She tiptoes up the wooden stairs, freezing at every tiny creak. She gets to the top step and places her hand on the doorknob. Laurie closes her eyes, holds her breath and slowly turns the knob. She pushes the door open a few inches and presses her face to the opening for a quick peek. The hallway is semi-lit and all seems quiet, except for the sound of a radio in the distance.
She opens the door all the way and silently steps into the hall. The kitchen is dark. There’s a light in the parlor and muffled voices coming from up on the second floor. Laurie smiles as she breathes in the familiar scent of sunflowers and prairie crocuses. And baked apples and cinnamon. A wave of nostalgia washes over her for a second but she forces herself to focus. Her saddle shoes slide noiselessly on the wooden floor as she makes her way down the hall toward the staircase. Just as her fingers grip the banister, an arm suddenly appears from behind her and a hand tightly clamps over her mouth. Another arm wraps around her neck before she can react and squeezes her throat tightly.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in!” A voice says, followed by a laugh.
Laurie starts struggling, her wide eyes dart from side to side and she gets a good look at the girl behind her.
Blonde hair. Blues eyes. Evil smile.
Kasia.
***************
Ami and Candy, two of the Parker Prairie Princesses, walk up Main Street as they head back to their rooming house. They suddenly stop short in front of the Malt Shoppe when they notice Sara and Sadie dancing inside.
Ami turns to Candy. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”
The rookie nods, grinning widely. “I think so.”
No one sees them open the door. The tinkling of the bells above the door is drowned out by the music and happy laughter of the dancing teens. Sadie and Sara kick their legs and wave their arms, making up their own version of a jitterbug as the song picks up in tempo. They are so into their dance that they don’t notice Ami and Candy walking to the counter. They don’t see the two Princesses pick up their ice cream sodas from the counter. But they sure become aware of them when the ice cold drinks are poured over their heads and into their faces.
***************
Kayla catches up to Marie and Jonica at the corner of Cherry Street and 5th Avenue.
“What’s the story?” she asks.
“We think Laurie went to pay a visit to the Princesses,” Jonica said as they turned the corner and headed north to Chestnut.
“Why would she do a dumb fool thing like that?”
“Because she’s a dumb fool, “ Marie mutters.
They walk the block up to Chestnut in silence and turn the corner as a red Ford DeLuxe convertible coupe whizzes by. The girls get a quick glimpse of a blonde woman snuggled tight against the driver, a heavy-set gray-haired man with a big smile on his round face.
Kayla gives a low whistle. “Some old fart is getting lucky tonight!”
They continue walking to the rooming house when they see the front door open and four girls leave the house laughing and chattering. The three Sweethearts duck into the shadows and watch as the four Princesses reach the sidewalk.
“There’s that bitch Jenna,” Jonica hisses quietly when the four girls stop by the streetlight. “She made me … ”
“We know, we know,” Marie interrupts. “She made you eat grass. That slut Jess is with her. She carved up my face like a Thanksgiving turkey with her nails. She’ll get hers, so help me.”
“Shhhh!” Kayla whispers. “The other two are blondes. Must be Heidi and Tasha. I guess it’s past little Stephie’s bedtime.”
The Princesses turn left and walk north on Chestnut, in the other direction.
“Where are they going?” Kayla asks. “The only thing in that direction is St. Peter’s.”
“The cemetery?”
“No, Jonica. The cathedral in Rome where the Pope is! Of course, the cemetery!”
“I don’t like cemeteries.”
“Let’s follow them,” Marie urges.
“What about Laurie?”
“Laurie’s a big girl!”
“Bigger than you anyway, Marie.”
“Fuck you, Jonica. Laurie can take care of herself.”
“Well, what are we standing here for?” Kayla interrupts. “Let’s go if we’re going.”
***************
Laurie squirms as Kasia squeezes her neck even more.
“I’m so glad you decided to drop by tonight,” the blonde giggles. “I have unfinished business with you.”
Recovered from the sudden shock of being caught, Laurie gets her wits back and drives her elbow back into Kasia as hard as she can. The blonde lets out a low grunt and her grip loosens just enough for Laurie to pull free. She whirls around to face Kasia and the blonde drives her foot into Laurie’s belly. Laurie gasps and sinks to her knees, clutching her belly and trying not to cry.
The blonde, wearing just an ivory colored satin slip and white bobby socks, giggles as she grabs Laurie’s hair and yanks her to her feet. Laurie yelps loudly and Kasia smacks her face hard, hissing, “Shut the hell up or I’ll beat the shit out of you!”
“Is everything all right down there?” calls a voice from upstairs.
“Everything’s fine, Mrs. Gunderson,” Kasia calls as she clamps her hand over Laurie’s mouth again. “I just stubbed my toe.”
“Oh, goodness gracious, I know how much that stings! You’ve got to be more careful, dear.”
“Yes, ma’am, I will,” Kasia replies. She puts Laurie in a tight headlock and pulls the struggling girl to the cellar door. “Let’s you and me go downstairs where we can have some privacy,” the blonde whispers as she opens the door.
***************
Caught totally by surprise and blinded by the ice cream and soda streaming down their faces, Sara and Sadie are no match for the sudden attack unleashed on them by the two Princesses. Spluttering and frantically trying to wipe their eyes, the Sweethearts find themselves being pummeled as Owney the soda jerk and the astonished patrons look on wide-eyed and slack-jawed. The little girl’s mother covers her daughter’s eyes.
Candy shoves Sara hard with both hands, knocking the blonde off-balance and sending her crashing to the floor on her back. The rookie wastes no time in straddling the blonde, sitting on her chest and swinging hard slaps and backhand smacks to Sara’s face. Sara covers her face with both hands, to wipe the stinging root beer from her burning eyes and also to block Candy’s vicious slaps. She bucks up hard to try to dislodge the brunette and then swings her knee up, driving it into Candy’s back. The Princess lets out a howl as she lurches forward and Sara manages to push her off and roll away, coughing and spitting out root beer foam.
Ami grabs Sadie by her dark blonde hair and rams her knee up into the gasping girl’s chest over and over until the struggling Sweetheart drops to her knees, wildly flailing her arms throwing blind punches at the furious dark-haired girl. Ami laughs off the punches, snarling, “You’ll have to do better than that!” She tugs at Sadie’s hair, pulling the squealing girl on her knees over to the elderly couple’s table. Ami reaches out and snatches the banana from the sundae dish.
She asks with a sweet smile, “You don’t mind, do you?” The old man and woman just gape at her, their spoons still in mid-air. “Sadie will buy you another banana split.”
Still on her knees, Sadie throws a punch into Ami’s belly that hurts the Princess, doubling her over a bit as the breath whooshes out of her mouth. But she hangs onto Sadie’s hair and smashes her knee into the Sweetheart’s chin. Sadie’s head snaps back from the force of the blow and then drops down, her chin rests on her chest and her eyes cross for a couple of seconds. Her body slumps and she lets out a low guttural moan. Ami tugs down on Sadie’s hair forcing her head up so her blinking unfocused eyes are looking up at the face of the evil Princess standing over her.
“This is for the hot dog, bitch!” Amy yells as she shmushes and grinds the banana into Sadie’s face. “Get it all down now,” she demands as she forces the squirming blonde’s mouth open with her fingers and crams the banana into her mouth.
Meanwhile, Sara has scrambled up to her hands and knees with Candy sitting behind her. Candy leans back and kicks Sara in the butt with both feet, pitching her forward head-first into the counter which her skull meets with a sickening crack. Sara slumps down in a heap, curling up and moaning.
The front door flies open and Steph runs in. “Hurry up before somebody calls the police!” she says urgently.
Candy gets to her feet and moves to the door. Ami uses her foot to push Sadie down to the floor and then she joins her friends.
“That’s what happens when you mess with the Parker Prairie Princesses!”
The three girls run out at full speed, leaving Owney and the patrons frozen in shock. Finally they begin to move. Owney hurries from behind the counter to check on the fallen Sweethearts. A couple of the teenage boys walk over too, not offering any help, just gawking and maybe hoping to catch a glimpse of underwear.
“Should we call the cops?” one of the teenage girls asks in a trembling voice.
“Oh, hell, no!” answers one of the boys. “I’m calling the ballpark for tickets to tomorrow’s game. If we’re lucky, they’ll fight again!”
The old man is still waving his spoon. “That girl stole my banana!”
***************
“Think I should go back and get Jessika and Justine?” Kayla asks. “Jessika wants Tasha bad and maybe Justine can finally catch Heidi.”
“With Peccavi watching them like a hawk?” Jonica smirks. “Good luck with that.”
The three Sweethearts stand by the fence near the entrance of St. Peter’s Cemetery. They can hear the laughing voices of the Princesses in the distance.
“What the hell are they doing in a cemetery?” Marie mutters as she strains to get a good look.
“I don’t want to know,” Jonica mutters. “I do not want to know.”
“We’re not in the Bayou now, Jonica,” Kayla says, rolling her eyes. “There are no Cajun witches or spooks running around in there.”
“A cemetery is still a cemetery.”
“And Jenna made you eat grass,” Kayla counters. “Or did you forget that?”
“Let’s do this,” Jonica mutters as she enters the cemetery, followed by Kayla and Marie.
Crouching low, they dart from tombstone to tombstone, moving closer to the voices until they see the four girls sitting in a circle under the moonlight, flanked by two large monuments of angels with wings spread. The girls pass a metal flask around, taking sips as they joke and laugh about the fight on the ballfield that afternoon.
“I was not running from Justine,” Heidi protests. “I was trying to tire her out before I made my attack. It was a brilliant strategy.”
The other Princesses agree that yes, indeedy, it was a very brilliant strategy and the flask makes another round. A match flares as one of the girls lights up a cigarette.
“It was so much fun smacking that little blonde around,” Jess giggles.
“I always thought you were the shortest girl in the league, Jess,” Tasha laughs. “I guess I was wrong.”
“If that little shrimp messes with me tomorrow,” Jess vows, “I’ll kick her ass straight to Munchkinland!”
The combined efforts of Jonica and Kayla can’t stop Marie as she furiously charges the circle of Princesses with a bloodcurdling shriek and launches herself at Jess. Jenna scrambles to her feet to help her teammate but Jonica grabs her hair from behind and pulls her back down onto the grass. Kayla and Tasha lock up, grabbing at each other’s blouses. Buttons fly off into the air as they pull and tug at fabric; two beautiful girls spinning around and around in a grotesque dance surrounded by tombstones in the moonlight.
Heidi hops from foot to foot, unsure of what to do or what fight to involve herself in. Marie rides Jess’ back, one hand in her hair pulling the brunette’s head up while the other hand smacks and claws at the squealing squirming struggling girl’s face. “So you’re gonna kick my ass back to Munchkinland, huh,” Marie snarls, her voice filled with cold fury. Her nails dig into Jess’ cheek bringing a cry of agony from the Princess.
Jonica sits on Jenna’s belly, her thighs pressed against the taller girl’s sides, riding her bucking twisting struggling foe. The wild-eyed Cajun rips a chunk of grass from the ground and grinds it into Jenna’s face, dirt and all. Jenna gags and her struggles get more intense and furious. She starts throwing punches at Jonica, who cries out as Jenna’s fists pound into her body.
Tasha hooks her foot between Kayla’s legs and trips the off-balance brunette, sending her down to the grass. She cries out as her back lands hard on top of a small footstone. A loud ripping sound fills the air as Kayla tears Tasha’s blouse open when she falls, exposing the blonde’s bra. With pain shooting up her spine, the South African brunette kicks her leg up and slams her foot into Tasha’s thigh. Tasha stumbles backwards with one hand covering her breasts and the other on her thigh until her back rests against a tombstone.
“Don’t worry, girls,” Heidi calls out, “I’ll go get help!” She turns and dashes out of St. Peter’s at full speed.
Jenna throws a wild looping left that connects with Jonica’s jaw, stunning the Cajun just enough for the Princess pitcher to push her off and stagger to her feet, wiping the dirt from her eyes and spitting out grit. Tasha limps over to Marie and pulls her off Jess. She helps her crying teammate up to her feet and the three Princesses stagger out of the cemetery.
“This isn’t over,” Jenna snarls over her shoulder as they go.
“See you on the ballfield, losers!” is Marie’s reply.
***************
Kasia pulls Laurie down the steps into the cool damp subterranean cellar. Laurie is doubled over, trapped in the blonde’s tight headlock. She punches at Kasia’s back and belly but the blonde keeps her head tucked tight under her arm against her body. Laurie’s eyes bulge as the pressure increases. Kasia leans into Laurie and the gasping Sweetheart, her face beet red, sinks to her knees.
Kasia breaks into peals of laughter. “You actually thought you were better than me,” she taunts. “You’re nothing but a loser! A pathetic short … AAGGHHHH!”
From her knees, Laurie’s right hand slides up Kasia’s thigh under her slip. Her desperate clutching fingers find the blonde’s kitty and she pinches with all her strength. Kasia releases Laurie’s head and kicks her with her foot knocking the Sweetheart away from her. Laurie sprawls on the floor and slides away on her butt as Kasia takes a few stumbling steps to the wall. The blonde suddenly yelps in shock and flails her arms up by her face as her head makes contact with a very large spider web. The more she twists and struggles, the more the sticky threads cling to her face and hair.
“Ewwww, spiders!” she wails. “Get it off me! Get it off!”
Laurie gets to her feet, breathing hard. She walks up to the distracted blonde, rears back and pops her right in the mouth with the hardest punch she has ever thrown in her life. Kasia collapses in a heap and Laurie, wringing her hand, turns and goes up the stairs, opening the outside cellar door.
She calls down, ”Tomorrow we finish it!” Then she slams the bulkhead cellar door shut with a bang.
END OF PART TWO
TO BE CONTINUED
