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Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives

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Offline Fw190 A

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #45 on: June 10, 2014, 06:26:28 PM »
What a story! "Captain Blood" meets Monty Python. Well worth the wait. Yarrr!

Fw190 A - The Hebrew Pirate of Love

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Offline Michelle

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #46 on: June 11, 2014, 12:10:56 AM »
As a special bonus to all readers of my “Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main” Pirate Series…..the publisher has come out with a commemorative calendar series that uses members of my “crew” as the “cover girls” for past years.

I have included some examples and think they also make really cool father’s day gifts for that hard-to-buy for Father/Husband/boyfriend.

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum!!…..although my preference is Japanese Single Malt ☺


« Last Edit: June 11, 2014, 12:12:16 AM by Michelle »
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" - George Santayana, 18th century Spanish philosopher

"We're the Sultans of Swing!!"

"Remember What The Door Mouse Said"

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Offline Michelle

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #47 on: June 11, 2014, 11:01:29 PM »
There have been a few requests for pictures of the famous ship-to-ship battle between my ship, the "Southern Cross"...and the "Trinidad".....which I wrote about in Part 1




  All that was left of the Trinidad after the battle is shown below...
« Last Edit: June 11, 2014, 11:08:29 PM by Michelle »
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" - George Santayana, 18th century Spanish philosopher

"We're the Sultans of Swing!!"

"Remember What The Door Mouse Said"

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Candy123

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #48 on: June 12, 2014, 10:41:06 PM »
A great part 4 just like the other parts. You are truly a talented writer and one of if not the best on FCF. I cannot wait to see what happens next or in Cuba.

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Offline Michelle

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #49 on: June 13, 2014, 12:33:01 AM »
10 reasons why Pirates are better than Ninjas
1.   Who can actually name a famous real life ninja
2.   Pirates have a much better marketing campaign. (How can you beat having your own ride at Disney World)
3.   Cool guns
4.   We have our own football team
5.   You get to say cool stuff like “ Argh! Ye winsome wench, hoist your main sail and show us your larboard side” (Translation: Hey baby, hike up your skirt and show us some booty)
6.   Showing up to work drunk is part of the Job description
7.   so is weekends in the Bahamas
8.   Chicks dig guys with boats
9.   No matter how bad the grog is, it still tastes better than sake
10.    http://www.gasparillapiratefest.com
« Last Edit: June 13, 2014, 01:28:05 AM by Michelle »
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" - George Santayana, 18th century Spanish philosopher

"We're the Sultans of Swing!!"

"Remember What The Door Mouse Said"

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Offline Michelle

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #50 on: June 13, 2014, 04:15:10 AM »
The next great battle....

Just who would win in an epic battle between zombies and pirates? Pirates are surely clever, shifty guys, but would their peglegs prevent them from fleeing the throngs of brain-craving zombies? On a boat, would they be able to escape, or would the fact that zombies can’t drown put them at a disadvantage? On the other hand, how would zombies fare against the cold steel of a pirate cutlass or the blast of a blunderbuss?
The answers to these questions are in your hands, zombiephiles. Who’d end up walking the plank – zombies, or pirates?

We answer that question soon...
« Last Edit: June 13, 2014, 04:38:19 AM by Michelle »
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" - George Santayana, 18th century Spanish philosopher

"We're the Sultans of Swing!!"

"Remember What The Door Mouse Said"

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Offline Michelle

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #51 on: June 14, 2014, 12:50:37 AM »
Final part (part 3) of Chapter 4 is going up in a few hours.......

Then we'll hear what Cuba and Fidel have to say.......about those looney pirates and their crazy captain

As always....the response and support for this series has been tremendous!  I appreciate all the comments and opinions.  The goal is to make it fun and entertaining....and I'll do all I can to make that happen.

Audience and reader participation is always a plus and I love seeing it and hearing from you all......along with your thoughts for future stories and directions!

Thanks again to everyone!....keep those cards and letters coming :)
« Last Edit: June 14, 2014, 07:07:36 AM by Michelle »
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" - George Santayana, 18th century Spanish philosopher

"We're the Sultans of Swing!!"

"Remember What The Door Mouse Said"

*

Offline Michelle

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #52 on: June 14, 2014, 06:18:06 AM »
The following is Part 3 of Chapter 4 of my continuing pirate series - The Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main, Adventures of Captain Michelle and her Crew.  

I like to think of this series as a sort of "Black Sails Meets Monte Python"

This is part 3 of 3 parts, this final installment entitled "Portobello Assault".  Chapter 4 Part 1 and 2 have already been posted just ahead of this posting so please check them out.  As always any feedback is welcomed and appreciated.  The names have been changed along with dates to protect the innocent (and possibly the guilty) and as always, those still in witness protection.  Thanks again for all the support I have received.  And so here we go!!  ENJOY!!




                   The Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - Chap 4 Part 3 - Portobello Assault!!


Michelle and her Pirates Move Into Position (It Gets Really Cool Now, I Swear!)

Portobello had the right ring to it. The very name sounded glamorous even if, as we have seen, the reality  was that it was a stinking, half-empty fever-hole! Few Englishmen knew this and, even if they did, tended to forget it and to substitute in their minds an almost legendary place, which brought memories of a golden past and promises of a golden future.  The Treasure City of the Spanish Main!

Portobello, the terminal point of the treasure fleet in its travels to Seville, the home of the richest merchants of the Indies, whose wealth could be squeezed out in plunder; Portobello, the key to the even greater riches of Panamá and Peru, one of the King of Spain’s most precious jewels in the Indies. It was true that the city was well fortified, but surely a thousand well-led men....or half that many well-led women could take it as a prize … but my friends the French would have none of it.  “They wholly refused to join with us in that action as they felt it too full of danger and difficulty”, Michelle later reported in her diary.  Very well then, said Michelle, we will take it ourselves.  And when some of her women demurred at the thought of taking such a powerfully defended city with a force which was now reduced to less than five hundred men, Captain Michelle is said to have replied in a paraphrase of Shakespeare:

“If our numbers are small our hearts are great, and the fewer we are the better shares we shall have in the spoils.”

 I mean FUCK!  Was that not INSPIRATIONAL?  If Custer had said that before the Little Big Horn I bet he’d not be turning over in his grave so much cussing himself for being such a DUMB ASS!

We have already seen that the city of Portobello, though potentially very powerful, was in fact rather vulnerable— short of men, low on morale and not particularly well equipped. The point to remember is that Michelle and her crew knew all this before they decided to attack the city.

(Back to the notes from Captain Michelle's diary in her own words:)

I knew the city. Neither its citizens nor the Spanish had any concept that they might be attacked.  The citizens didn’t realize the castles were so undermanned. Remember, these are the Spanish here.  They are like the Italians and the French.  It part of their gene pool to retreat and go the fuck backwards!!  I decided after this knowledge to go with a land attack.

The main vulnerability of the ports was their lack of protection from the landward side. Spain assumed that the jungle was good enough protection for this area. I intended to exploit this weakness, as I perceived it.

The city might be half empty because not all of the treasure ships were in port, but it was still well defended, and in fact there were probably as many soldiers in the garrison as there were citizens in the town. Indeed, it was said to be the third strongest city in the Spanish Indies after Havana and Cartagena. The private citizens, whether they actually lived in Panamá or Portobello, had property to protect too, and the Spanish Crown was vitally interested in the maintenance of this terminus of the long route to the Indies. The main defenses of the port were two big fortresses or castles, one each side of the harbor. On the west, separated from the town by a small river, stood the castle of Santiago with a garrison on paper of 200 men and 32 guns placed to cover the port itself and the approach to the city. On the other side of the bay was the smaller castle of San Felipe with 12 guns and a theoretical garrison of 100 men. No ship could reasonably hope to run the gauntlet between the crossfire of these two castles. Beyond the castles were blockhouses and sentry posts, and to east and west along the coast there were armed lookout stations. These castles and outworks were manned by what the Spanish authorities euphemistically called ‘paid’ soldiers or their version of trained professionals.  

We left our ships in the charge of a small crew at the port of Boca del Toro in Panama. The rest of the women took canoes and rowed to Estera Longa Lemos, where they beached the canoes and hiked for three miles across land, arriving at Portobello's sentry outpost just before midnight of July 10 1797. I took the fleet down the coast and unloaded some 600 crew women in all.

The World Cup Final championship game (being held in Tegucigalpa, Honduras and televised on ESPN Des Portes) was being televised and the Spanish had just got them several of those new 64 inch HD flat screens from Sony and they were all glued to them and drinking down some of that new 1800 tequila that they got free (1800 is that tequila in the blue bottle that Ray Liotta advertises in the television commercials.  Ray, as you might remember, made his name playing Henry Hill the gangster in that wonderful movie “Goodfellas”.  Ray can also have me anytime he wants me, as he is totally hot!).

Since the soccer game was being televised that night, the fucking Spanish were occupied and just getting PLASTERED to the gills.  (I know, you Euros call it FOOTBALL!!  Well, FUCK THAT SHIT!!  IT’S SOCCER!  There is only ONE football!)  One of our smaller ships  (the “Magdelena”) remained with my landing party a little further out to sea. This escort ship was eventually spotted by the Spanish, but caused no alarm: what damage could one ship do the Spanish thought?  Plus the World Cup game had gone into overtime and there was NO WAY they were going to leave that for ONE silly ship!  The buccaneers made a fortuitous capture as well: a local fisherman was captured and pressured (bribed) into guiding them through the swamps. On the night of July 10, we were ready to begin the assault.



The Pirate Assault Begins! – Portobello or Bust!

Success of our plan, as always, would depend on surprise. The garrison might be undermanned but, if alerted, the guns of Santiago would blow my tiny army to bits and the survivors would find themselves chained in a dungeon in Portobello in their turn.  I ordered the attack for late the midnight of July 10. Surprise depended on concealing my strength and my intentions from the lookout posts at Chagres and Buenaventura just before you got to Portobello, but I had thought up a scheme for doing that. Didn’t I tell you Captain Michelle always has a plan?  I’ve been in a prison before and I’ll be damned if I go back.  You stay out of prison when you have a plan.   If that pussy Captain Blood had had a plan, his ass wouldn't have spent so much time in an English prison.  I am so sick of hearing about the great fucking Captain Blood! [gags!]  What did he ever do?  He never captured cities like me and my great crew did.  All that sumbitch ever did was hook up with Olivia DeHavilland.........BIG WOO!!!!

I called my fleet of twelve small ships to anchor in the huge deserted bay of Boca del Toro,  The canoes moved swiftly and landed at a lookout post a little over one hundred and fifty miles from Portobello. Leaving skeleton crews in all but one ship, I transferred my raiding party to a fleet of twenty-three canoes, which I had captured in Cuba and carried south on the decks of my ships for just such an eventuality.  These canoes, about forty feet long and equipped with a small sail as well as paddles, were a common sight in the coastal waters of the West Indies.  

Our twenty-three canoes, each carrying a score of well-armed female pirate, must have made a stirring sight as they paddled out of Boca del Toro, rushed along on their way by the fast east-going current. But there was nobody there to see them, except their friends in the ships they left behind, as they set off on this last stage of their voyage along the Isthmus, protected by just one large ship. They paddled by night, hugging the coast to stay undercover, and lay up in hidden places by day. It took them four nights to paddle the hundred and fifty miles down to Orange Island with the coast, now rocky, now sandy, just a blur to starboard and so close that the smell of rotting vegetation in the steamy July nights was always in their nostrils. No one saw the splashes of their paddles as they dipped them in the phosphorescent sea. No one heard her curses and grumbles.  What you did get to see was their bare athletic torsos straining to move as much water with her paddle as possible as her sinewy well defined muscles strained as minutes turned to hours and perspiration coated skin glistened in the full moon light.  Firm breasts gently swaying as torsos turned and muscles flexed and strained behind the movement of the paddles.   Beads of perspiration streaking tanned skin and heaving breasts, collecting on hard erect pink nipples, forming teardrops before falling to the deck below.  I had trained them for this, the days of work, sweat and pain!  Now that work was paying off!  And we were wet from more than just sweat!  God this is turning me on!

So far so good! There had been a certain amount of risk in leaving the ships, but the chance of surprise clearly outweighed it. This coast was largely deserted, except for the great fortress of San Lorenzo at the mouth of the River Chagres, and they managed to creep past that at night without giving the alert. The danger from ships was minimal. Few sailed at night so near the coast and, indeed, there were few Spanish ships likely to be sailing at all. The pirates themselves had brought the commercial traffic of the Spanish Main virtually to a standstill; at the time of our invasion there was just one ship, a frigate from Cuba, in the harbor of Portobello. Nor was there any danger from the ships of the Spanish Crown, for the only guard-ship on the entire coast was based at Cartagena. There was no ship to defend Portobello.  Everything was moving perfectly, the entire effort coming to fruition  

There were plenty of soldiers, castles, forts and strongholds in the place ahead that my women were bound for that night, and even greed and treasure would be unable to overcome certain nervousness as my crew got back into their canoes and checked their weapons. They carried no artillery at all, just cutlass, two pistols, musket and what a contemporary described as “an insatiable desire of riches, courage and disdain of risk”.  But their weapons, though simple, were of very fine quality, and the pirates looked after them lovingly. Their cutlasses were razor sharp; pistols were oiled and clean; powder was dry; and their muskets, four and a half feet long and manufactured in France, were the very best in the world. There was no one who could fire a musket so accurately as these pirates, whose main exercises were target shooting and keeping their guns clean.  These guns were gleaming as the privateers paddled away from Orange Island just after midnight for the last few miles of their voyage to the sleeping city of Portobello.

A Spanish canoe that had been sent to observe the "strange ship" that was providing our back-up saw our "procession" and raced back to the city to sound the alarm. My crew had to move quickly. Lucky for us I had sent an advance team led by Harper and she and her group grabbed the alarmists and tied them up.  At midnight, they landed at Estero Longa Lemo, and continued on foot, until they reached the first sentry outpost at the entrance to the town. They had, as a guide, and Englishman who had been a prisoner in Portobello, and was familiar with the layout of the town. With 4 others, he proceeded to the guardhouse a mile down the road from the entrance to the city, and captured the sentry. The sentry was brought back to me, and I got him to reveal troop strength, their locations, gum placements, etc. by taking my top off and letting him take a long look at my world class tits and then giving him several autographed pictures of me naked to take back to his buddies. We then made him lead the way into town. Surprisingly enough, he was very happy to oblige us.

When they reached the approach to the city as dawn broke, they paused: there stood Santiago Castle guarding the entrance. But their guide assured them that the castle was in disarray and most of the Spanish soldiers inside were either drunk, asleep or just frankly didn’t give a shit.  This information gave me great confidence to press forward so I rolled the dice and went for it.  The pirates rushed across the open ground to the town. I gave the order to charge and, with a bloodcurdling scream that was heard right across the bay, the pirates poured out through the defile and, splitting up into two parties, raced across the open ground. The smaller group of some seventy women sped towards a ravine that led up to a small hill called La Gloria, which dominated the castle on the landward side. The rest of the women ran straight towards the castle itself and then, moving round the castle under cover of the walls, crossed over the bridge and charged into the city through a side door, firing off their guns at everything alive, whites, blacks, even dogs, in order to spread terror. In all this time not a single pirate was killed or wounded. Our estimate of the gunners of Santiago proved only too correct. A few Spanish musketeers fired from the walls and missed.  The cannon gunners in Santiago only got off one shot, which sailed harmlessly over the attackers' heads.  

What about the guns, those great guns supposedly loaded with grapeshot and which had so frightened Michelle when she first saw them years before? The Spanish Constable of Artillery had rushed up to supervise their loading, but he had been in such a panic that he had only managed to load two of them and these with comparatively harmless ball instead of lethal grapeshot. Nor was this the end of his incompetence. In the first gun he loaded the ball before the charge, so that it did not fire so it fired backwards, wiping out the gun crew!  A second gun, though correctly loaded, was wrongly elevated and the ball sailed over the heads of Michelle’s women and landed with a mighty splash in the sea. By the time they had reloaded, all of our attackers had passed the danger zone and my marksmen were picking off the defenders of the castle from the safety of the hill on the landward side. The very first shots from the pirates forced the gunner’s to duck their heads and soon the long French muskets were causing havoc in the depleted Spanish garrison.  After several volleys of gunfire, we thought we’d try and negotiate the surrender of the castle so we went in under a white flag of truce to see if we could avoid any further loss of life.  A Spanish guard yelled down at us from the wall.

Spanish Guard:  'Allo!  Who is zis?

Captain Michelle:  It is I, the Dread Captain Michelle and her pirates you fucking twit!  You need to surrender your dumbasses!  
  
Spanish Guard:  This is the castle of Our Master Ruiz' de Lu La Ramper Oscar De La Hoya Julio Iglesias the First

Captain Michelle:  Go and tell your master we’ll blow this fucker up if he doesn’t surrender!  We are on a sacred quest to take Portobello.  If you surrender, you can join us, get a cut of the action and improve your health insurance and benefits!  We’ve even got a 401K and we match up to 7%!!  What do they match you here?

Spanish Guard:  Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen on the idea.  He prefers Ninjas to pirates!  And they only match to 4% here…FUCK!  You guys do have a good deal!

Captain Michelle: Don’t tell me your master is a Ninja?  NO WAY!!

Spanish Guard: Yes he is a Ninja and he is on a quest to how show how sheeps’s bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes using a Quija board!

Captain Michelle:  And by the way, you don’t sound Spanish!  Well, what are you then?
 
Spanish Guard:  I'm French!  Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly spasm clit Captain!

Captain Michelle:  What are you doing in Portobello?

Spanish Guard:  Mind your own business Captain motherfucker!

Captain Michelle:  You'll pay for your insolence you snail eating, brie snorting wussie!  If you don’t surrender, we shall take your castle by force!

Spanish Guard:  You don't frighten us, pirate pig-dogs!  Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person!  I blow my nose at you, you so-called Pirate Captain panty knitter, you and all your silly pirate kaniggets!  Thppppt!

Captain Michelle: What a strange person you are!  Now look here, my good man! I'm a Goddess!  I can shape-shift. I can create stuff out of nothingness. I can alter the fabric of reality.  So please, quit being a knucklehead!

Spanish Guard:  I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!  I fart in your general direction with extreme prejudice!  You mother was an overweight hamster and your father smelt of elderberries and made love to a ferret!  SILENCE YOU TEMPTRESS!!  NOW FUCK OFF!!

Captain Michelle:  Errrrrr, is there someone else up there we could talk to?

Spanish Guard:  No!! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!!

Captain Michelle: Now just a damn minute! This is your LAST CHANCE!!  I've been more than reasonable!

Spanish Guard:  Ah, this one is for your mother!
[The guard raises the middle finger of his right hand to us!]

Captain Michelle:  THAT CUTS IT MUTHAFUCCA! If you do not agree to my commands right now, then I shall------
[TWONG!  (sound of catapult launching an object!  Or...or could be a giant fucking rubber band!]
[Mooooooo!….suddenly a large Jersey cow comes flying over the castle wall straight for me and my officers!!]
I scream, “JESUS CHRIST!!!”  “RUN AWAY!!”  “RUN AWAY!!”

I had heard just about enough from this asshole!  I unhatched my super secret weapon!  My fierce unflappable 15 pound Shi-Tzu pirate dog, Carly!!  Carly took some sticks of dynamite in her teeth and under a hail of musket fire she ran across an open area to the main castle gate, dug a hole and buried the dynamite under the center portion of the gate.  She then took a match from her fanny pack (yes, a dog can have a fucking fanny pack so lets not be judgmental) and lit the main fuse before making a mad zig-zag dash for my open arms!  The resulting explosion blew open the main gate and once again the Spanish were caught with either their pants down getting blow jobs from the local hooker’s union or they were asleep or they were just pussies and gave up.  They all quickly surrendered!  In no time, Santiago castle was ours!  We had not lost ONE woman!  Carly's actions had saved us countless lives and she was awarded the Legion of Honor for her actions later in a ceremony aboard ship.  Show me a fucking cat that can do that!  HA!

The main body of our army had little trouble in capturing the city. Splitting up into their component companies, they raced through the streets, shrieking, firing their muskets and slashing with their cutlasses at anyone who dared to face them. There were few who did, although some bold spirits put up a token resistance.

Only in the half-built fort of San Geronimo across the bay was there any serious attempt to halt the pirate fury. It was here that we also fell upon the REALLY brilliant part of the whole plan!  I came up with the idea of using chickens and fluffy white bunnies as weapons as we were trekking through the jungle towards Portobello.  The thought was setting up a system of small catapults and flinging the chicken and the bunnies over the fortress walls.  The bunnies were the key to the whole plan.  These were specially trained bunnies, skilled in martial arts and with extra long teeth, which often came in handy in hand-to-hand combat with the Spanish.  The chickens were just used as an irritant because the Spanish are so easy to irritated and get flustered so easily.  We also dressed some of the chickens and half the bunnies in black ninja pajamas to really scare the shit out of the Spanish!  This to me was the true brilliance of the plan.  I had figured the chickens would mess with the Spanish as it was in stark contrast to the white fluffy bunny rabbits.  That stark contrast of wanting to pick up and hug the bunnies (who would then go for the throats of whoever was dumb enough to pick them up) and the chickens (what else can I say about chickens that hasn't already been said?  Chickens are basically bigger pigs than the PIGS in a barnyard!  They're just...... chickens!  Nuff said!)

We loaded up the mini catapults we got at the Wal-Mart in Cartagena with the bunnies and I gave the order to FIRE!  A barrage of white fluffy special ops bunnies in black pajamas and bandanas flew up high and them floated gently down into the courtyard on the other side of the fortress wall as little chutes deployed and the bunnies began to bare their sharp fearsome fangs of DEATH!

The bunnies didn’t forget their training as they waited until they were at “throat level” before baring their fearsome fangs!   A smaller group of my ninja bunnies were also trained in the ancient art of using the most well-known and feared weapon in the historical ninja's fighting arsenal, the throwing stars, or shuriken throwing blade. We listened on the other side of the castle wall and heard the blood curdling screams!!  Within minutes the gates to the castle flung open and the Spanish defenders came running out screaming like Banshees, many in tears and stumbling over themselves to get out of that “Living Bunny Hell!!!”

(Don’t tell me this won’t give you fucking nightmares tonight!  The thought of blue and green eyed ninja bunnies with fangs and flinging those metal star thingies is so terrifying that it would put anything Robert Pattison and Kristin Stewart did in one of those “Twilight” movies to complete and utter shame!  Trust me, if you've seen those movies, its not too hard to put any of the crap they did to shame!)

The bunnies were used in place of regular Ninjas, as we couldn’t get our specially trained Ninja platoon in time for the assault.  Normally I am not a big proponent of using little Ninja fuckers in an assault but this is the Spanish after all.  Why not use the suicidal ninja fuckers as cannon fodder instead of my crew?  BRILLIANT!!  Is Captain Michelle not one of the great military strategists of all time?  I am SO SICK of hearing about that Sun Tzu ass hole as being some GREAT strategist.  All that guy did was write a book.  I’m out there boarding ships, getting in sword fights, sacking towns, leading the greatest pirate fleet the world has every seen and torturing people!  I am also the foremost expert on the care, feeding and training of ninja bunnies!  While I am honing my craft, Sun Tzu is sitting on his fat ass down at Barnes and Noble autographing his half ass book!

Before we knew it, the Spanish flag was coming down and the white flag of surrender going up over the fort of San Geronimo!!  Two down, one to go!

Once the Spanish perceived that the first two forts were easily taken, they couldn’t surrender the third fort quick enough, enabling Michelle's buccaneers to overrun the city.  The battle was OVER!



THE TOWN WAS OURS!!

We ran up the pirate flag on the three forts, giving our ships the sign they had been waiting for. As the fleet arrived, the jubilant invaders set about sacking the town, looking for loot and alcohol. I went into town to the Mayor’s Mansion and in to the Mayor’s office and sat in his big fat cushy over priced chair with my boots up on that big old imported desk.  Harper and Anne marched in the Mayor and the Spanish Commander (Yup, my good and bestest pal General Pau) we’re brought before me.  I was wearing my working garb: a loose-sleeved black homespun shirt that laced up the front (in this case open down to almost my navel), and a metal reinforced corselet made of black leather. My shapely legs were clad in dark trousers, with high, folded-over black boots. On my head was a broad-brimmed black hat. One side was rolled up, and a jaunty black and purple plume waved in the breeze.  I had a pistol belt that ran across my chest, holding three flintlocks

The Mayor, his Excellency Carlos Santana, looked at me like I was crazy for taking over the town and gave that usual lecture I get from Spanish males.  You know the one about me being a girl, having tits and a pussy and therefore there was no way in the Wide Wide World of Fuck I could take over a town by force.  

I looked at his Excellency and said “Hey Mayor, don’t give me that “Quaker in a Titty Bar Look” you mother fucker!”  “There’s a new sheriff in town and the bitch is me, the Dread Pirate Michelle!”

The Mayor looked at me as I stood up from the chair and pounded on the desk as I spoke for dramatic effect! (I told you all in a previous chapter about the value of being a good Drama Queen in one’s role as a Dread Pirate.  I think one only need look no further than the Academy Award performances of Johnny Depp in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies and you’ll easily understand why I say that.  I will be circulating petitions that he get an honorary Academy Award for Best Actor for those roles so have your pens and pencils ready!)

The Mayor game me the once over and finally spoke, his lower lip trembling “So YOU’RE THE Dread Pirate Michelle?”

I winked and said  “In the flesh”

The Mayor thought a moment and responded, “I thought you’d be taller and have bigger boobs”

I glared back at time, stood up and leaned over the desk and glanced down between his legs, “I thought you’d have a cock and some BIGGER BALLS YOU FUCKING PUSSY!”

The Mayor then got all nervous and started almost screaming back in a panicked voice  “But I am sure your boobs are WORLD CLASS Senorita Captain!”  “PLEASE SPARE ME!”

I interrupted the Mayor, as there is nothing worse than a stuttering, screaming nervous Spaniard (unless it’s a whining, whimpering Frenchman!) and said  

“You need to calm the fuck down Judge Judy!”  “Either that or divorce your head from your FUCKING NECK!”

I look at Harper and wink, grinning, “I just KNEW there was going be a cherry on top of this turd cake!”  “SHOOT HIM!”

I looked at Harper and Anne and they both shrugged their shoulders, Harper then looking at me and saying,

“What’s up with that shit Captain?”  “I know these ninja fuckers are the enemy, but this guy seems too pathetic to shoot!”

I shook my head, "Maybe you're right"  “Fuck Harpy…this guy here acts like all the ambition he had in his body left him a long time ago and all he has left in his last remaining 10 years of being a soldier is a damp fucking overpriced apartment, cold enchiladas and an invisible fucking dog”

Harper: “Chelley, I thought you used to say that about me?”

Michelle: “That was before you graduated from Stanford...bitch”

Harper: “Oh”

Harper still appeared disgusted and put out with me and whispered as we were walking out of the mansion  “And don’t be coming to my cabin later tonight and wanting me to play “French Maid” with you either!

I shrug, grab my crotch and look over at Anne and say,  "Jesus, I kind of feel my virginity growing back here!"



The Sacking of Portobello

As the fleet arrived, the jubilant invaders set about the business of sacking the town.  I did go through the town before I turned the crews loose and made really cool deals with the casinos where the crew could stay for free as long as they fucking gambled and shit!!  Is that not awesome or what?  Drinks were free while they gambled to!  That Donald Trump isn't a half bad guy after all although I do wish he'd lose that hair!   All of the loot, treasure, gold, silver, jewels, traveler's checks, fine watches and Victoria's Secret undergarments were brought together: under the strict code of the privateers, any woman who withheld treasure was severely punished. Look we may be pirates but we are absolutely NOT fucking thieves!  Prisoners were tortured to get them to reveal the whereabouts of any hidden treasure.

They brought young General Pau before me in the Governor’s mansion and I sat behind the big desk and watched as Ann and Harper threw the guy on top of the large wooden desk!  He was STARK, BUCK, NEKKID!!

I spread my long legs, my black folded over boots laying on the desk edge as I gazed at the Spaniard sprawled across the desktop and between my legs (Ok…CALM DOWN!!  I see what some of you are THINKING!!).  The Spaniard lay on the desk, his head down close to the edge where I had my feet propped up on it, my long legs spread, his head between my feet (I said CALM DOWN!).  

The general gazed up between my legs, then looked up into my dark eyes, then back down between my legs and whispered in a shaky voice,

“Any chance those pants might come down Seniorita Captain?”

I heard Harper giggling as I looked up at her, then seeing her turning her head away from me and covering her mouth as she chuckled some more.

I yell over at Harper, “You know Harpy!”  “Sometimes you make me think there is just a 9 year-old girl inside of your body just operating the levers!”

Harper hangs her head in shame and whispers, “I’m sorry Chelley, errrr Captain Michelle”

I glare at Harper,  “Well, um, I accept your apology while retaining the right to FIRE THE FUCK out of you”  “Shall I print that up on a T-shirt that I could give to you?”  “JESUS H. CHRIST!”

I glare back down at the General after his “pants comment to me,  “You don’t think you should just go fist a chimp…AHOLE?”

“You’ve sure got that Quaker in a Titty bar look on your face!”

“Your are cute as a baby all nekkid laying there though!”

Harper chimes in, “You know, they say all babies are cute, but whoever "they" are should be stuck in a stroller and pushed into traffic!”

The general continues to shake like a whore in church

Michelle: “Harper!”  “I think our general here is injured!”

Michelle: “Did you check?”  “I mean how bad is he?”

Harper: He's fine. It's just superficial cuts.

Michelle: Did you give him any painkillers, or...

Harper: I didn't want to do that because he says he’s
already on St. John's Wort!

Michelle: I think I got that off a Catholic schoolgirl once

Harper: CAPTAIN!!!

General: “Please Captain!”  “SPARE ME!!”  “I BEG OF YOOOU!”

I paused for a moment, looking up at the ceiling, and then back down to the General.

Michelle: "You read the Bible, General?"
General: "Yes!"
Michelle: "Well, there's this passage I've got memorized that sort of fits this occasion.  Its Ezekiel 25:17.  “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of the evil men.”  “Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children.”  “And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers!”  “And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!”

General: Captain Michelle Ma’am?  Just what in the Wide Wide World of FUCK does that mean?  I mean ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!  I’m a PRISONER OF WAR and I have RIGHTS!!   What about the Geneva Convention?

I then let my voice rise a little as my eyes meet the General’s  “You’re a disgrace!”  “I am personally going to see to it that you’re chewed up like a dead prostitute in a wood chipper!!”  “And we’re pirates and we don’t give a DAMN about the Geneva Convention!!!”  “When was the last time you saw a pirate in Austria??”

I look over at Harper, “Take this cocksucker out to the ship, tie some of that gold he is so fond of, and make him walk the plank!”

The general screamed.  “OH Please Captain, SPARE ME!!!!”  “PLEASE!!!”  “I’ll DO ANYTHING!!!”  “I’ll play any SICK pirate game you want!”

I looked at the General, tilted my head and whispered softly to him,

“If you want to play a game General, why don’t you try working an IPAD WITH YOUR DICK!!”

Harper leaned over and whispered in my ear  “He’s already got carpal tunnel in that area, Chelley so that’s a NO GO!!”

I look at Harper, “I thought I said take this cocksucker out to the ship, tie some of that gold he is so fond of, and make him walk the plank!”

Harper looked at me and her mouth fell agape, then she spoke “Michelle!”   “You have got to be kidding me?”

I turn and look at Harper with a raised eyebrow  “You’re right, leave the gold off him!”

I moved my pirates around to properly to man the forts and prepare them for a counterattack by the Spanish. With our pirates in charge, Portobello had now become a much more formidable target: We had twice as many able pirates than had what the Spanish in terms of personnel prior to our arrival.  My forces were also better equipped, more experienced and better fighters than the previous Spanish contingent of pussies.  The Spanish would be better off hiring the French!
 


The Big Ransom

The one man who could bring a halt to our leisurely enjoyment of her captured city was Don Agustin de Bracamonte, the young nobleman who had been appointed interim President of Panamá when Don Juan Perez de Guzmán was suspended by the Viceroy of Peru. No doubt, Don Agustin was eager for glory since his acting appointment would last only as long as Don Juan remained a prisoner in Lima. So we can imagine that it was with a certain excitement that he received the news of the pirate's capture of Portobello.

Meanwhile, the President of Panama, hearing of the attack on Portobello, swiftly organized a relief column to march to the aid of the city, some 70 miles away. He had 1,000 men, a sizeable force, and they marched quickly, hoping to catch the Captain Michelle and her pirates before they could complete their victory. When they met up with the soldiers from San Felipe who had been allowed to leave, their spirits sank. It would be next to impossible to take the city back with only 1,000 men if Michelle was expecting them. The President then received Michelle’s ransom demands and he blew a fucking gasket!!  I mean it was like those old cartoons when the mad person’s head shot up off its shoulders and you hear this whistle like they have on an 18-wheelers!

Michelle had sent an email (what do you mean they didn’t have fucking email back on the 17th century?  Like YOU know?) To the President of Panama, Don Agustín de Bracamonte (aka Benecio Del Toro) demanding 1,00,000 pesos as a ransom for Portobello. If Bracamonte did not pay, Michelle claimed, she would sell the town to the French and they would burn it down and put in a Disneyworld.  The prisoners would all be forced to wear Disney character costumes and smile 24/7 and greet visitors and in general promise to not moody.  As a final indignity, Taco Bell would be BANNED from opening any franchises in and around the greater Portobello metro area.

The President’s relief forces tried several attacks on the city from different directions but were quickly driven back by Michelle's sharpshooters.  The Spanish had about as much chance against the pirates as Manhattan had against that monster in the movie “Cloverfield” It was getting ugly and the Spanish were getting desperate.  Finally, at one point they sent a female emissary under a white flag and Michelle and her officers met her at the main gate of the city.  The emissary was fairly tall and wasn’t wearing the usual Spanish military garb.  She wore working garb: a loose- sleeved pale homespun shirt that laced up the front, and a metal reinforced corselet made of black leather. Her shapely legs were clad in dark trousers, with high, folded-over black boots. On her head was a broad-brimmed red hat. One side was rolled up, and a jaunty red and white plume waved in the breeze.  She entered the main gate of the city and approached Captain Michelle

The Emissary spoke in clear concise English,   “Captain Michelle, I am Lieutenant Ana Sofia Espinoza of his Majesty’s army at your service.”   “I represent His Excellency Bracomonte and I wish to discuss the terms of YOUR surrender with you!

I stood up, busted out in a loud laugh, then put my hands on my hips and smiled at her.

I walked over and was so close to her that the tips of our noses were almost touching and said,  

“Are you fucking shitting me BITCH!”  “You’ve tried TWICE to take the city back and you morons can’t even get out of your own way!”  “Why don’t you just surrender to me?”

The gorgeous emissary raised an eyebrow and responded,  “Well, if you are going to be snippy about it, then I should tell you captain, I am under orders to take you prisoner using any means that I can!!”

I look at the emissary and immediately begin sizing her up.  The shapely Spaniard was about my height and seemed to probably be my weight or close to it.  Her shapely firm breasts strained the material of her top enough that I could clearly see the imprints or her hard erect nipples poking into the material.  FUCK!  I was turning her ON!!  Her dark eyes belied an air of extreme confidence and it suddenly came over me “This bitch thinks she can take me?”  The emissary spoke again in a low yet confidant voice,

“I do have a proposition for you Captain”  “I don’t see why so many have to die today when you and I can settle this JUST BETWEEN US.”  “I propose a fight RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW”  “The better woman wins and WHEN it’s me, you surrender your forces”  “Do you have so much confidence in yourself Captain cxnt you would consider accepting my terms?”

She extended her right hand to me and whispered, “DO we have an agreement then?”  I smiled and extended my right hand to hers as we shook and I said back to her,

“Where I come from, at times like these, you shake with your right hand and hold a rock in your left”

She tossed her head back and laughed.  “It’s a shame I am going to have to beat you down Captain”

I see in her eyes a level of cockiness that on the one hand I respect and on the other just PISSES THE HELL out of me!  I let the corners of my full pouty mouth begin to turn up in a wry smile and I reach up and take my hat off and toss it to the side.  I don’t answer her as I then begin removing my gloves before reaching up and beginning to unbutton my shirt, all the while my dark eyes locked unwaveringly onto hers.  She reaches up, removes her hat and begins to unfasten her shirt.  A smile comes over her own full sexy lips as she quietly says, “I am going to enjoy kicking your fucking pirate ass Captain Michelle”  “I’ve waited for this chance a very long time”

I stay silent as I finish unbuttoning my shirt and begin pulling it over my right shoulder and down my right arm, the shirt now dangling from my left shoulder as I reach across and pull it down my left arm and off over my hand, tossing it aside.  I place my hands on my hips as I stand in front of her with my bare torso glistening in the moonlight, my firm beautifully formed pink-tipped breasts rising and falling.  I watch as she finishes removing her tunic and then begins to bend over a bit at the waist, her bare creamy breasts dangling from her chest.  I eye her carefully as she begins assuming a crouch, spreading her leg about shoulder width.  I get in a similar stance and extend my arms out in front of me, mimicking her as I grin and wiggle my long slender fingers.  We begin circling each other like two predator cats stalking their wounded prey, sizing it up for the final kill.  Our firm breasts barely jiggle as we move, our extended arms and fingertips brushing together, sending a jolt of electricity down my spine as I shudder at her touch, biting my lower lip.  We then almost simultaneously lunge at each other and our hands clasp and start to lock, our arms thrusting up just above our heads as we both begin to push and twist with our upper bodies and arms in a moonlit inspired test of strength!!!

The two of us immediately lock up, each trying to out-muscle the other as our upper back and shoulder muscles began to strain and burn, our arms quiver as we both push and twist at the same time!!  The muscular definition under our wet slick glistening skin was so clear in the full moonlight as we feel the warm gasps of our labored breath flow across our facial features!  The small pink nipples of our heaving barely jiggling breasts growing instantly hard as they strained to touch each other!  Our bare heaving sweat coated chests grow closer together, our backs arching, legs spread and braced in this test of strength!  I suddenly JERK her left arm down HARD with my left hand, twisting and spinning her torso in front of me!!  I then quickly wrap my right arm around her neck and applied a side headlock on her and began SQUEEZING, gritting my teeth as our gasps were the only sounds to b heard in the heavy cool evening air!  She suddenly balls up her right fist and DRIVES IT UP HARD into my tightened abs with a loud SMACK as her knuckles impact my wet slick muscled skin!  I grunt out, OOOMMMPPFF!!!!  I struggle to maintain my grip before letting her neck go, stumbling back a few steps, both of us bent over, our palms on our thighs as we raise our heads and our glares meet!  I feel myself wincing, then coughing a few times as my abs throb and burn!

I straighten up and raise both my arms up in front of my breasts, curling my hands into tight hard fists.  She begins to straighten up and bring her fists up in a boxer’s stance in kind.  We both begin to slowly circle each other from left to right, the circle growing ever smaller as I quickly drive off my right foot and step down on my left and snap off my long left jab...flicking it hard at her face like a snake's tongue!!  Knowing I have a height and reach advantage and a left jab second to none and I’m going to use it!!!  I drive my left fist ONCE; THEN AGAIN at her chin and face, the knuckles of my left hand almost white, my fist is clenched so tight, the blood leaving my fingers!  My upper back and shoulder muscles uncoiling like steel springs as my knuckles whistle at her face in a blur!!!  Gritting my teeth as I twist my tall athletic frame behind the punch!!   Grunting out loud!!     GUUUHH!!!!

Feeling my fist first hit her chin flush with a dull CRACK!  My fingers tingling and going numb for an instant!  My second ramrod jab smacking her hard under her right eye!!   Her head snapping back as she stumbled, almost going down before righting herself!  She shakes her head as I see the trickle of blood streaking down her right cheek from the small cut now open under her right eye!  She shakes her head and blinks a few times and comes at me with raised fists, driving her own left hard between my raised fists and into my chin!!  UUNNGGHH!  My head snapping back as my long dark pony tail swishes from side to side!   I see the bright flashes and spots in my eyes for a brief moment and I plant my left foot behind me to brace myself as I keep my feet!  I shake my head from side to side, blinking to clear my vision. We both then continue to circle one another with our fists upraised between us, our bare torsos glistening in the moonlight as we settle in to this bare-knuckle battle.  The circling continues as we both lashed out with our left fists!  Our heads snapping back as our fists find their mark as our faces contort with pain!  We just as quickly follow with an exchange of hard rights as sweat and spittle fly from our heads and faces!  The only sounds in the humid night air, the dull thud and crack of hard knuckles against wet, slick skin-covered bone and muscle, soft lips!  Low, almost muffled grunts flowing over our lips as punches hit our bodies!  Facial features are distorted as punches find their mark, blood beginning to trickle from the corner of our mouths.

We both keep our fists up in front of our chests as we keep circling each other in fairly close proximity, feinting and bobbing as this brutal, primal "slow dance" of pain, our battle of wills, continues!  Our knuckles at times bumping together!  Perspiration flowing freely, streaking down our bare chests and backs, our hair wet and matted as it dangles to our bare shoulders, loose strands of dark hair hanging over our foreheads and eyes!  Our small hard biceps began flexing and expanding as we cock our arms at the elbows and curl our fingers so tight into our palms, our knuckles turning white as the blood can't reach our fingers, our fists are clenched so tight.  I suddenly drop my left shoulder as I step into her quickly, her right fist whizzing over my head as she telegraphed it coming!  I drive my left fist into her exposed navel with a loud smack, twisting it as it splats hard into her wet muscled abs!  I hear her grunt and gasp, her reddened face contorts as her body literally folds over my arm and fist!   Twisting my body back to the right in one fluid motion, uncoiling my right arm, my right shoulder muscles releasing as I whistle my right fist hard into her jaw with a crack, the impact numbing my fingers and hand for a brief instant!  Her head twists to the side violently as my fist drives across her head, blood and saliva fly from her parted lips!  Watching her stagger then drop to her knees, then all fours, shaking her head, a dark red trickle begins to appear from the corner of her mouth, a thin red stream falling like a silken thread to the ground!  I glare down at her and scream

HEY BITCH?  YOU GOT CABLE?   WATCH THAT ON SPORTS CENTER!!!!!

I step back and watch her get up, slowly bringing up her fists as she wastes no time coming at me.  I thrust out my left again but she slips the punch and drops down a bit in a crouch and she DRIVES HER LEFT FIST hard into my navel and I feel my body almost bend over her arm like an accordion!  I slam a short right hook into her temple while at the same time her right fist smacks into my ribcage!.   The next thing I know, I’m down on the ground on my knees and wheezing and coughing as I look up and see her standing there bent over, the stream of red still coming down her cheek in her stance, falling from her lips!

She snarls at me  “GET UP Captain cxnt!”

I decide to take what she just said personally and not like a normal friendly type greeting at the company Christmas party.  She lunges at me again and swings a wild right and I duck under it, driving my left fist hard just above her trousers waistband!  She grunts out as I bury my hard knuckles in her toned tummy!  OOOMMPPF!!  She then grunts out again and my breasts seem to almost lift and fall back down as she returns my punch with one of her own to my stomach, right at my pants waistband, my flexed stomach muscles hurting as I bring my elbows in close protecting myself, my swelled nipples brushing the inside of my arms as we fight in close with our fists!

I lash out with a left, feinting with it at her face and dropping my right shoulder a bit as I step forward and send a hard right hook into her left kidney, then sending a left to her solar plexus for good measure!  Perspiration adds a glow to my skin as I step back from delivering the solid 1-2 combo, stepping out of her range, crouching carefully protecting my stomach with forearms up. As she stands bent over in front of me, coughing!

I watch as she straightens up, coughing, her face red and contorted as seems wobbly on her legs. As she turns to face me……..

 WHAM!!!!

I launch my tall frame off my long legs, lowering my right shoulder and screaming out like a Banshee and DRIVING MY RIGHT SHOULDER into her upper abs just below her breasts!!!   OOMMPPFF!!!!   I hear her grunt out and the air leave her lungs and flow over her lips with a loud WHOOSH!  I wrap my arms around her as I slam into her and keep my long legs churning as I drive her back!!!  I feel our entwined bodies come to an abrupt halt as we slam into a nearby wall!  GUUUHH!!!!!

I quickly grabbed the Spanish beauty around the throat with both hands and begin to choke as she reaches up and grabs frantically at my wrists, trying to pull my hands free! !!

She starts to gag and keeps struggling and clawing at my arms and hands, trying to pull my hands free as I can hear the gurgling in her throat!  I then bring up my right knee and BURY IT in her aching belly!! “UUUUGGHHH!” she gasps, as I ram my knee home, then, “GUUUHHH!!!” as it rips deep into her midsection again. The Spaniard’s body tried to instinctively fold over my knee, but I hold her upright with the chokehold. Then, my hands began to tighten even more around her soft white neck and her dark eyes widen in panic!!

Panic is a dangerous thing. It’s a natural reaction, but a hurtful one. It causes a person to react in a blindly self-preserving manner, one that is often inimical to the person’s actual self-preservation. In the Spaniard’s case she let her instincts take over in the right manner for her as she drives her right knee up into my tightened abs!!  I immediately let go of her neck and double over, staggering back a few steps, dropping to my knees, clutching at my aching, throbbing abs as I wheeze and cough as I struggle to get air into my oxygen-starved lungs!  

The Spaniard stumbles back a few steps herself and drops to her own knees, then falls forward on all fours as she raises a hand to rub her neck, coughing and struggling even more than myself for some badly needed air as she clutches her throat.  

So there we both were, right in front of each other on our knees, coughing and struggling through the pain that racks our tall frames as we struggled to get our wits and senses back!  It is all about will power now, all about the pain, who has the will, who has the desire!

My breasts lift and fall heavily , my taut stomach muscles hurting as I bring my elbows in close protecting myself as my swelled nipples brushing the inside of my arms. Perspiration adds a glow to my skin as I slowly straighten my torso up!  I see her bent over in front of me, our knees barely a foot apart, her hands clutching at her abs as she struggles to straighten up!

Our chests heave as our faces show the pain in our beaten bodies!  She suddenly lunges at me, swinging a wild right that I am able to duck under as her fist grazes the top of my head!  As I duck, I drive up off my knees and slam a vicious right uppercut up under her chin! My knuckles drive her head back with a loud resounding CRACK as she flies back up off her knees and tumbles onto her bare back, hitting the ground HARD, her head bouncing on the hard ground!!  The Spaniard lay still a moment, her right leg twitching a few times, unable to even roll over, her arms outstretched from her sides as blood flows freely over her lower lip and down her chin!  Her eyes flutter a bit as she moans and whimpers, tears of pain trickling from her tightly closed eyes, her teeth gritting in agony!  She slowly raises her quivering arms and stretches them out to me and screams “ENOUGH!!”  “ENOUGH!!”  “PLEASE STOP!!!!”

Harper and Anne and some of the crew come running over, Harper walking over and standing by me, kind of looking around…hands on her hips as she scuffs the ground with her boot.  She places her right hand on my aching right shoulder and leans in to my ear and whispers

“Hey Chelley, how ya doin?”

I turn to her and our eyes meet as I try and muster a laugh but it hurts too much to do so.  I wince, then spit some blood out of my mouth to the ground and whisper back in a raspy voice,

“I need the stuff junkies take when it takes a policeman 15 bullets to put her down”  “Then I’d feel like fucking ONE TENTH better!!”

Harper laughed  “I was rooting for you all along, Michelle”

I answered back in an exhausted voice,  “Well, thank you, Harpy, that's what sustained me in my time of trouble”

"Can we get to the emergency room now?....STAT!!!"

The Spanish ultimately agreed to pay our ransom demands and for all practical purposes our Portobello adventure comes to an operational end.


Epilogue

Michelle’s attack on Portobello was a rousing success.   The Spanish defenses could at best be described as inadequate and unprepared. President Bracamonte acted with unusual haste for a Spanish colonial official but was unable to recruit or equip enough men to dislodge Michelle’s pirates from their positions. Ultimately, Bracamonte was forced to accept Michelle’s ransom terms. In "perhaps the most successful and audacious amphibious operation of the eighteenth century" Michelle was able to act decisively and maintain order among his often-unruly women for a prize of approximately one a million pesos.

When the Spanish heard a rumor (incorrect, as it turns out) that the whole Portobello attack was simply a diversion for Michelle's French allies to attack an unguarded Panama, they hurried back. Bracamonte left behind a representative to negotiate: eventually Michelle got her 1,000,000 pesos for the city.

The ransom was brought by mules in the first week of August: bars of silver, silver plates, gold and silver coins: 1,000,000 pesos in total. Michelle kept her promise: she loaded the treasure (plus what had been found in the city), freed the prisoners and set sail, leaving the city and forts intact (or at least not damaging them any further). One of the greatest raids of the Age of Piracy was in the books.  The greatest amphibious operation to that point in military history was in the books.


Legacy of the Sack of Portobello

When news spread of the attack, Spain at first sent reinforcements, but Michelle was long gone before anyone got there. The privateers once again disbanded, disappearing like smoke with individuals finding work elsewhere: the Spanish could not have their revenge.  They would comeback soon enough.

Captain Michelle’s invasion of Portobello had big consequences on both sides of the Atlantic. In Europe, the on-again off-again alliance of England and Spain took a big hit. The Spanish were outraged. Even though they were technically at peace with England, the Queen of Spain allowed privateering commissions to be given in the New World. A couple of Spanish captains would take advantage of this and sack small towns in Jamaica, which in turn led to further English attacks including Michelle's legendary sacking of Panama.  The Spanish were too weak to do much in any event.  The great Spanish empire of “New Spain” was crumbling.  Michelle knew this, just as she knew she would probably have to lock horns next with the Royal Navy and England herself eventually.  It wouldn’t be long.

In Jamaica, Captain Michelle was hailed as a heroine. The raid was hugely successful: each privateer made more than he could have doing honest work in a year, and the taverns and brothels of Port Royal did booming business for a while. With each telling, the Spaniards grew tougher, the castles stronger and the loot more valuable, and the legend of the attack grew quickly.  The “Queen of the Oceans”, Captain Michelle grew more powerful than ever with more ships, more men and women ready to follow her.

Her next adventure would bring her closer to the only real love in her life, the man they called the “Buccaneer”, as her travels took her to New Orleans, and the temporary solitude of a place called Barataria Bay.  That love affair would be soon interrupted.

Her adventures had only just begun.  America was in her sights and she had a revendevous with destiny that would shape a young nation that was calling, and a battle that would be remembered throughout history.

Next up – Chapter 5 – Michelle, Lafitte and Jackson – America is Calling, Would It Finally Be Home?

© 2014 by Michelle/Southern Cross Enterprises. All rights
« Last Edit: June 14, 2014, 03:53:15 PM by Michelle »
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" - George Santayana, 18th century Spanish philosopher

"We're the Sultans of Swing!!"

"Remember What The Door Mouse Said"

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Offline Fw190 A

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #53 on: June 14, 2014, 07:24:51 AM »
Just incredible, Michelle. Real Hollywood stuff. Don't ever stop.

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Offline petelv

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #54 on: June 14, 2014, 02:46:09 PM »
Excellent writing Michelle.  I am looking forward to more of this story.



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Offline Michelle

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #55 on: June 14, 2014, 05:35:39 PM »
The hero of the siege of Portobello..

Carly the Wonder Dog
« Last Edit: June 14, 2014, 05:37:59 PM by Michelle »
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" - George Santayana, 18th century Spanish philosopher

"We're the Sultans of Swing!!"

"Remember What The Door Mouse Said"

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Offline Michelle

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« Last Edit: June 15, 2014, 08:25:02 PM by Michelle »
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" - George Santayana, 18th century Spanish philosopher

"We're the Sultans of Swing!!"

"Remember What The Door Mouse Said"

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Offline Michelle

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #57 on: June 16, 2014, 03:52:09 AM »
Pirates 101: Fact and Fiction on the High Seas

Was Tortuga an actual pirate city? What does one do when urged to "avast!"? And did pirates really wear such thick eyeliner?

With the release of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest — and thanks to Johnny Depp, who plays the zany Captain Jack Sparrow — pirates are chic once again. Here lie some valuable nuggets of information about pirates, buccaneers and privateers:

Q. Were there pirates in the Caribbean?

Quite a lot of them, actually. The 17th century has been called the "Golden Age of Piracy" in the Caribbean. Numerous pirates plied those waters, pillaging, plundering and pilfering. Even Tortuga — the pirate city depicted in the first Pirates of the Caribbean film — existed, founded by buccaneers in 1630 on an island off Haiti.

Q. What's the difference between a buccaneer and a pirate?

A pirate is anyone who robs on the high seas. A buccaneer was a pirate who plundered in the Caribbean. The original buccaneers were French renegades who lived off stolen livestock on Hispaniola (which today is Haiti and the Dominican Republic). They smoked their meat over open fires, and so the French word for that process — boucaner, meaning "to smoke-dry" — became associated with them. This group later made their base on Tortuga and turned to piracy.

Q. Was Port Royal a real place?

A. Yes, and the town, which was also featured in the first film, served as the capital of the British community in Jamaica in the 17th century. But ironically, the Brits in Port Royal welcomed pirates initially, in part because of the money they spent but also in hopes that the pirates' fearsome reputation would keep the Spanish and French from attempting to capture Jamaica. It worked.

Q. So, the British government encouraged piracy?

Yes and no. In some cases, the British government actually commissioned seamen to commit acts of piracy, but with one catch: They were charged to prey only upon Spaniards, British rivals on the high seas and in the New World, and turn over a large portion of the stolen loot to the government. Sir Francis Drake was one such privateer (licensed pirate). In the 16th century, he plundered countless Spanish ships and ports around the Caribbean, stealing the equivalent of millions of dollars in today's money, all in the name of the British crown. To the English, Drake was a national hero. To the Spanish he was, well, a pirate.

The Spanish and French also licensed pirates to harass their European rivals, as a cheap way of waging naval warfare. But the system grew rife with abuse, since most privateers couldn't be trusted to limit their pillaging only to enemy ships. Many also balked at relinquishing any of their ill-gotten gains to their governments.

The abuses of the privateering system, and the presence of so many scruffy free-agent pirates, led to a decision by the British authorities in the early 18th century to begin cracking down on piracy in the Caribbean. Port Royal officials shifted from welcoming pirates to hanging every one they could catch. Their corpses were then displayed as a warning, like the three whom Jack Sparrow salutes early in the first Pirates film.

Q. How about the "Pirates' Code?" Any truth to that?

The first film makes much of the "Pirates' Code." When Elizabeth Swann (played by Keira Knightley) is about to be seized, she asks for a parley, invoking the "Code of the Brethren, set down by the pirates Morgan and Bartholomew." Clever film fiction, right? Wrong. Turns out Sir Henry Morgan and Bartholomew Roberts were actual pirates, members of a loose confederation of buccaneers called the "Brethren of the Coast," centered on the island of Tortuga in the 1600s.

Even the code existed as a historical fact, and as in the movie, involved issues of fairness among the pirates. "No prey, no pay" was a common principle, but equal shares in the plunder was also valued. So, perhaps there existed some honor among thieves.

Q. Did pirates make their prisoners walk the plank?

It makes for great film drama, but pirates didn't actually do this — though not because of gentlemanly qualms. In fact, real pirates tended toward even nastier behavior, like gruesome tortures (holding lighted matches to a victim's eyes was a favorite) or hacking their prisoners to death with swords.

Q. Why, then, do we associate pirates with walking the plank?

We have novelists and playwrights to thank for that. Two beloved British children's classics in particular — Robert Louis Stevenson's novel Treasure Island (1883) and J.M. Barrie's play Peter Pan (1904) (which he later fashioned into a novel) — have forever linked pirates to such fictional notions as treasure maps and walking the plank.

But surprisingly, certain characteristics of Long John Silver, Captain Hook and other fictional pirates have some basis in actual history. Pirates did indeed dress in colorful garb, they prized parrots (which could fetch a high price in Europe), and they flew the Jolly Roger flag to intimidate their victims.

Q. So, pirates did look like Captain Jack Sparrow?

Probably not the eyeliner, though many pirate captains wore rich velvet waistcoats and foppish big hats with feathers. The legendary Blackbeard sported dreadlocks and liked to braid his long beard and tie it in ribbons. But lest you get a girlish image here, you should know that when attacking, he was famous for sticking lighted matches under his hat and in his beard, which set off his wild-eyed gaze and thoroughly terrified his victims.

Q. What does "avast" mean?

It's a 17th-century pirate's way to say, "Stop!" or "Stand Still!"

Q. Did piracy disappear after the 18th century?

Hardly. Nearly 300 pirate attacks occurred on the high seas last year, many taking place off the coasts of Indonesia, Somalia and Bangladesh. Though pirates today forsake the velvet waistcoats for military fatigues and the flintlock pistols for machine guns, they act as pirates have always acted — using intimidation, violence and even murder to steal all they can from ships and their crews. Despite our entrenched association of pirates with the 18th-century Caribbean, piracy has existed for as long as people have used the sea for trade, and will forever bedevil ships on the high seas.


"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" - George Santayana, 18th century Spanish philosopher

"We're the Sultans of Swing!!"

"Remember What The Door Mouse Said"

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Offline Michelle

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #58 on: June 16, 2014, 07:08:53 PM »
I have been asked a number of times if I'd explain the different parts of a ship I keep referring to, especially in  Part 1 of Chapter 4, Southern Cross versus Trinidad.

Two diagrams below shows the different sections of a typical ship of that genre.

« Last Edit: June 16, 2014, 07:25:16 PM by Michelle »
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" - George Santayana, 18th century Spanish philosopher

"We're the Sultans of Swing!!"

"Remember What The Door Mouse Said"

*

Offline Michelle

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Re: Sexy Sluts of the Spanish Main - The Pirate Michelle's Fleet Arrives
« Reply #59 on: June 16, 2014, 07:33:43 PM »
But where are the hot tub and the jacuzzi? No proper pirate ship can be without these.  :)

//Braveheart

The captain's cabin, which can be seen  at the "poop" section (rear) of the ship, contains its own combination hot tub and jacuzzi.  The model in the Southern Cross is the Aquatic Fitness Pro which retails for ~ $20,000


Aquatic Fitness Pro

 
The Aquatic Fitness Pro – "Fitness Swim Spa and Spa Combination"

H20© Swim Spas Launches its newest exciting product the Aquatic Fitness Pro©, delivering the ultimate swim spa exercise experience combined with the relaxation and hydrotherapy of a swim spa. The Aquatic Fitness Pro© is an exclusive manufactured product of ChooseSwimSpasDirect.com and its limited partners. ChooseSwimSpasDirect.com delivers unparalleled value to its customers because if manufacturers and sells direct to its customers through the internet, and not through dealers or retailers who mark up the product considerably, at least $15,000 higher than our prices. All our products are totally ETL© certified for the highest safety standards in the US, and use the most reliable Balboa© American control system for long term reliability and functionality.


 
Aquatic Fitness Pro
Sale Price: $19,999.00
Manufacturer: H2O Fitness Spas
« Last Edit: June 16, 2014, 07:35:51 PM by Michelle »
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" - George Santayana, 18th century Spanish philosopher

"We're the Sultans of Swing!!"

"Remember What The Door Mouse Said"