Lolita 9-0 The Amazing Spider-Mouth
I’ve been doing sessions for over 11 years now and have reached the milestone of doing my 400th session. The athlete I really really wanted to be my opponent for this session was Lolita and I was ecstatic when she told me she was up for the match. We set a time with Cam to do the session at the new MWM venue in Camden. My journey went well and I messaged Lolita who I met at the tube station, big hug, and we had a great catch up while walking up to MWM. I joked to Lolita that I had walked under a ladder earlier and that would give me bad luck so I probably was not going to win today; as if I would have won otherwise. We arrived and Cam let us in giving us both a big hug. More additions to the studio since the last time I was here. Cam was putting together a set of office draws while Lolita and I did our session, but she was regularly glancing across when it looked like there might be points scored.
I changed upstairs and Lolita changed downstairs. I checked if Lolita was changed and it was ok for me come back downstairs, it was all clear so I went down to the basement area where the MWM battles take place. We had a warm up and then onto our knees for round one. I told her I had a strategy to survive and she smiled saying she could see I had planned something by the way I was using my arms as pincers. She always goes for my neck at the start of each round and so I was trying to keep her arms off my neck, but sure enough, she pulled me down with a Thai grip and had me submitting for the opening point to a neck hold. I had to admit to her that I was deliberately trying to prevent the neck hold, I mean I’d said what I was going to do anyway on social media so I could not really deny it. Oh well, it did not work. 1-0 to Lolita.
Lolita and Cam had a good laugh about my mega-plan not even lasting two minutes. Into round 2 and Lolita over-powered me, forcing me onto my back and getting the full mount position. She was very strong today. She worked her way up my body without giving me a gap to escape out from under her. Then when she was in position, she placed her hands behind my head, rolled onto her side and pulled my head into her head scissors. I concentrated on the pain to see how long I could last, but had to tap. 2-0 to Lolita.
Lolita was well up for this and moving from side to side on her knees ready to lock up for round 3. She got my head down again with a Thai grip but this time went for a guillotine hold. I held it off for a while, but then she thrusted her body towards me and wrapped her legs around my waist from the front and made it a body scissors / grapevine combination. I held out as long as I could but she really squeezed home with her legs and I had to tap. 3-0 to Lolita. As she released me, I fell back, landing flat on my back, arms and legs spread out, needing to take a break already. Lolita was smiling and the first three rounds had not really taken anything out of her at all. She handed me my water bottle and we took a drink before getting set for the next round.
Lolita tired for a guillotine hold again in round 4, but I managed to prevent her hands from connecting and so she tried to get my back but I stayed in front by moving back. She came after me and toppled me off my knees when I was unbalanced. I ended up on my side and she went for a full mount hoping to pull me into a body scissors, but I rolled onto my back and started to shrimp my way out. She kept after me, re-applying the full mount each time I moved back a foot. She said “you’re a slippery little sucker aren’t you” I misheard this as “you’re a slippery little fucker aren’t you” and thought, great, Lolita is being ultra-competitive today! She realised the mount was not leading to a better position so she grabbed my shoulders and then came down lying on top of me applying a good hard grapevine – my favourite – I had to submit – 4-0 to Lolita. I mentioned it was getting lively and said to Cam that Lolita had called me a “slippery little fucker”. Cam’s jaw dropped and Lolita protested that she’d said sucker! I guess I’ll need to get my ears tested, but it did not bother me either way!
Round 5 was another grapevine. This time, she was lying across my chest and had me in a neck hold, looking down at me. I struggled hard but Lolita, rolled an eight turn with her legs maintaining position wither her upper body and pressed me flat on my back. It was almost a breast smother / grapevine combo but it was the legs that had me submitting. 5-0.
I tried to keep my arms above Lolita’s arms as we contested the early part of round 6 on our knees. We had half a neck hold each and wend down side on to the mats and started grappling vigorously looking for position. At last I managed to get my trusted half guard defence on but was unable to roll Lolita onto her back. I tried and expended too much energy. She simply used her determination and strength to keep me on my back. As we struggled, her knee just missed my crown jewels as we were mutually in half guard. She managed to free her leg and straddle me, rolling onto her back and applying a body scissors from below. I applied a hand to her thigh to keep the scissors off my ribs, but Lolita repositioned and squeezed home the body scissors to make it 6-0.
Round 7 started with us dancing because there was a Black Eyed Peas video playing on the TV. It was hilarious. We were soon down on our knees ready for action. This time it was another body scissors except this time side on. I really felt it, Lolita’s legs were really strong today. 7-0.
Lolita was quicker thinking and quicker to react than me today. At the start of round 8 she got my neck isolated as I was stuck on my side with Lolita lying perpendicular to me so my legs were behind her back but not close enough to capture her waist. She really was enjoying applying control over me in this match. I tried to get my legs into action, but Lolita simply rotated ahead of me on the mats. With each turn, her grip on my neck got a little tighter until I had to tap. 8-0.
We high fived at the start of the 9th and final round. I poured the energy into the contest keeping the tempo high, but in my haste I was not as methodical as I could have been and Lolita got my back. She lay back on her back, pulling me into her looking for the rear naked choke. I was concentrating on preventing her arms getting the rear naked choke on my throat when she managed to capture my waist with her legs from behind. She now had much better control and slid her forearm onto my throat and used her opposite elbow for leverage. That was enough for me to tap out. The final score 9-0 to Lolita. We gave each other a hug while still on our knees. As we stood up, Lolita remembered that this was my 400th match and gave me an even bigger hug. We had a great chat with Cam afterwards with stories about wrestling and other things happening in our lives. It was a brilliant session with a lot of laughter all the way through.
After Cam dropped Lolita off at the station, Cam and I went for lunch in the nearby café. So 34 wins, 92 draws and 274 losses in my 400 matches so far. I’ve got plans for more sessions before the end of the year, but tonight was all about savouring my 400th match which was against my favourite opponent, Lolita, who I have now had 19 matches with.
Living the Dream
