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STORY Survival of the Weakest Tournament Round 2: Taylor Swift v. Rachel McAdams

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Taylor Swift v. Rachel McAdams

   The first contest of the second round was proving to be an interesting matchup.  Taylor Swift, the virginal young country star, had been defeated in the first round by Jennifer Love Hewitt, though she escaped relatively unharmed.  Thanks to quick feet and lax security, Swift was able to escape through the entrance ramp before any true damage could be done to her.  Hewitt, by default, was declared the winner in what many were calling an unsatisfying contest.

   Rachel McAdams’s match was unsatisfying, at least if you ask Hayden Panettiere.  The petite cheerleader defeated McAdams with a knockout punch, but due to Rachel not being able to stay conscious, Hayden wasn’t able to achieve the climax at the end of the match that she was hoping for.  Nevertheless, unlike the Swift/Hewitt fight, McAdams was unable to escape the inevitable humiliation.  When she came to, she found herself stripped nude in the center of the ring, and after watching the footage, realized that she was the victim of a cruel facesit. 

   In her dressing room, Taylor readied herself for her next match.  First, upon learning from her earlier mistakes, she decided to abandon her showy tassels.  Second, realizing that the fans were thirsty for her destruction, she was going to have to try and use her height and survival skills to get out of the match early.  At this point, any fantasy that she might have had about being perceived as a threatening force was gone, so rather than try to earn some humiliation bonus, she simply wanted to get the victory and go home.

   The mood in Rachel McAdams’s dressing room was very somber.  The entitled young woman was stewing as she looked at herself in the mirror.  All she kept seeing as she stared at her face was the sight of Hayden lowering her pussy onto Rachel’s features.  Just the thought of it sickened McAdams, who refused to suffer another loss, especially to a rookie.  Rachel was out for revenge, and since she couldn’t get her hands on Panettiere, she was going to have to take out all that aggression on Taylor Swift.

   “Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the first match of our second round.  Introducing first, Grammy Award Winner Taylor Swift.”  Swift came out to a chorus of boos, an experience she wasn’t used to.  Still, her theatrical background had conditioned her to wave and smile in spite of everything, so she beamed as she walked down to the ring.  She was wearing a silver top and matching shorts, a very conservative outfit by wrestling standards.  Swift climbed into the ring, happy that as the first entrant, she couldn’t be jumped again.

   “And her opponent, Rachel Mc…” The ring announcer was cut off as McAdams charged out of the entranceway and stormed the ring.  She tackled Swift and began to reign down punches.  Swift, once again the victim of a sneak attack, attempted to shield the blows, but with little success.  Rachel was enraged and felt like a woman possessed as she drummed a beat into Taylor’s face and body.

   The referee, who was busy reiterating instructions to ringside security to keep an eye on the flight-risk Swift, ran over to pull the feisty brunette off of her opponent.  Rachel’s wild punches continued as the referee wrapped his hands around her waist.  Upon feeling his arms grasping her stomach, McAdams swung her hand back, striking him in the head. 

   Security rushed in, and it took two of them to finally pry Rachel McAdams off of a stunned and hurt Taylor Swift.  Taylor wasn’t moving, and it was clear that she was knocked out cold.  The on-site medical staff came out to check on her, as McAdams was still cursing up a storm from behind the two clearly annoyed security guards. 

   “I’m sorry, but she cannot compete tonight,” the EMT said as he checked Swift’s pulse.  “She might have a concussion.  Any physical contest is absolutely impossible.”  The referee nodded and went over to the screeching McAdams to let her know.

   “Fuck that!  She can wrestle!  I barely touched her!” Rachel yelled.

   “She can’t compete, doctor’s orders.”

   “That’s not a doctor.  It’s the fucking arena medical staff.  They’re a joke.  Prop up that skinny little bitch and let me finish her off.”

   The referee, growing weary of the argument, put his foot down.  “You’re not wrestling her.  I’m calling the match as per medical professional’s instructions.  Security, I’m going to need your help clearing a pathway here for a stretcher.” 

As the ref conferred with the EMTs outside the ring, McAdams once again sprinted towards Swift.  Rachel grabbed two handfuls of blonde hair and began slamming Swift’s skull against the mat.  “You fucking faker!  You fucking coward!  Fight me, damnit!  Fight me!”  The staff quickly ran back into the ring and once again restrained the brunette. 

Just then, a production assistant wearing headphones ran up to the referee.  The ref grabbed the house microphone.  “As per instructions from the front office, Taylor Swift is out of the competition.  Due to her actions, Rachel McAdams will not be declared the winner.  However, she WILL be competing here tonight against a surrogate opponent.”

The stunned McAdams threw up her hands in protest.  “A surrogate?” she yelled into the mic.  “What surrogate?”

As the question reverberated through the arena, a spotlight hit the entrance ramp.  The curtain flung open, and Rachel McAdams’s surrogate walked out.

“No.  No fucking way!  No!” Rachel screamed, as she saw who she was going to be facing. 

   The ring announcer grabbed the mic.  “And her opponent, from Benoni South Africa, the heavyweight champion of the world, Charlize Theron.”  The audience was stunned as the blonde bombshell slinked down the aisle, her icy glare a clear sign that she wasn’t thrilled about this situation.  Charlize happened to have been in the arena as a guest of the promoters, and thanks to a last-second check, she decided to take Taylor’s spot. 

   Theron came down the aisle in a shimmery blue dress, further evidence that she had no intention of wrestling.  Charlize then pulled the dress over her head, revealing a very simple black bra and matching thong.  The ref took her dress and carefully handed it to a P.A. at ringside.  McAdams, meanwhile, was frozen in fear.  Her pre-match shenaxxxxns had now put her in a position where she could get very hurt very quickly. 

   The ref signaled for the bell and the Amazonian champion began to approach Rachel.  The terrified McAdams put up her hands, asking Charlize to wait.  “Please, I…I didn’t mean for this to happen.  Just…let’s forget the whole thing, alright?  I’ll take the disqualification loss and I’ll wrestle in the next round.  That’s fine.  Please, just…”

   Theron stopped and flashed a sly grin.  “Please just what?”

   “Don’t hurt me,” McAdams begged.

   Charlize thought about the offer for a minute before staring down at Rachel’s body.  She focused on McAdams’s inviting chest peeking out from her blue bikini top and then slowly traveled down her stomach to her matching blue briefs.  “Oh, I won’t hurt you,” she replied.  Rachel let out a sigh of relief as her tensed-up shoulders relaxed.  “I’ll destroy you.”  McAdams’s eyes suddenly bulged as she looked up at the olive-skinned woman.  Charlize reared back and delivered a lightning fast right hand, sending Rachel flying into the corner. 

   McAdams stumbled forward in a daze like a car without a driver and Charlize responded in kind by dropping her with a clothesline.  Rachel hit the mat hard from the impact, but before she could let what happened sink in, she was yanked back up to her feet by her hair. 

   While maintaining a grip on her hair, Theron stuck one hand between Rachel’s legs, cupping her pubic mound.  Then, in a move of brute strength, Charlize hoisted Rachel over her head, parading the hapless brunette around the ring like a trophy.  With one hand on her chest and the other buried deep between her thighs, Theron walked from corner to corner, allowing everyone in the first few rows to hear the pleas and squeaks coming from McAdams.  Finally, once she tired of lugging her opponent around, she unceremoniously dropped her.

   McAdams couldn’t protect herself from the fall, and she hit the mat face-first.  Once again, before anything could sink in, she was peeled off the canvas.  Charlize then effortlessly scooped up McAdams, draping her on her shoulder.  Theron had McAdams positioned perfectly for a running powerslam, but rather than simply execute it, she decided to let the moment sink in.  The dazed brunette, realizing the position she was in, began to squirm, hoping to break free.  Now satisfied that she’s achieved her goal, Charlize sprinted forward and slammed the lithe woman into the canvas. 

   The impact alone nearly broke McAdams in half.  No one in the tournament had the kind of power and skill that Charlize had, so reducing Rachel McAdams to jobber was a fairly effortless task.  Rachel rolled on the mat, clutching her injured back.  She didn’t know how to make the beating stop, but she was certain that it wasn’t over yet.