[Vassago]

Summer break is over the 80s sex symbols are back for more vicious action!


JERRY HALL (Age: 33; 6'0" / 25th 2-11) vs KATHERINE KELLY LANG (Age: 28; 5'7" / 14th 8-5)
A couple of tall blondes face off and Jerry Hall comes from a very humiliating loss to Kim Delaney low on confidence. - OK, so maybe I need a bigger woman against me whom I can actually punch in that ugly face. Katherine is a perfect victim then, stupid wannabe whore! Bring her on! However Katherine has moved into top half of the standings and after winning against Cindy Margolis, she's afraid of no one - Jerry Hall is a disgrace for the blondes. She's kinda OK looking, but she can't fight. Losing to a weak brunette like Kim Delaney is disgraceful. I will punish her for offending the blondes and turn her face into a bloody mess!


HUNTER TYLO (Age: 27; 5'6" / 28th 1-12) vs  KIM BASINGER (Age: 36; 5'7.5" / 4th 12-1)
Kim Basinger has decided to join the the contest for the biggest beatdown of this round as she beileves Hunter Tylo will be wrecked in a matter of seconds rather then minutes - I need a quick and convincing victory to prove I'm still in the mix of the overall title. Hunter will have her face beaten into ugly mess, I can promise you that! However the brunette thinks otherwise and isn't afraid of the powerful blonde whatsoever - Kim will be spitting out her teeth once I punch her repeatedly in that ugly face! She will be begging me to stop, but I don't intend to!


REBECCA DE MORNAY (Age: 30; 5'5.5" / 20th 6-7) vs TANYA ROBERTS (Age: 34; 5'8" / 19th 6-7)
First of two fights in a row that could potentially go right down to the wire. Both Rebecca and Tanya share the same record and the odds are equally even before the actions starts. The blonde Rebecca thinks she has a much bitchier nature and her aggression should be the deciding factor. On the other hand Tanya believes she's simply stronger and a much better athlete having done a lot of work out for the Sheena TV series. - Rebecca thinks she's a bitch, but I'm a wild animal compared to her! 


MITZI KAPTURE (Age: 27; 5'5" / 24th 3-10) vs KIM DELANEY (Age: 31; 5'7" / 29th 1-12)
Another tough one to predict for the experts as Mitzi Kapture takes on fellow brunette Kim Delaney. Both women have promised to rip each other's hair out and looks like some blondes would be happy seeing so much dark hair about to be wasted. Kim has broken her losing streak against Jerry Hall in the previous round and considers Mitzi as a perfect opponent to get the second victory - Mitzi is a brave woman who has done some TV detective work too, but I just want to rip her hair out! Menawhile Mitzi believes she did a better job on TV with Silk Stalkings then Kim did in NYPD Blue and that should get her more credit - I don't care what Kim wants to do with my hair, she will be a bald whore once I'm done with my hairpulling!


ALISON ARMITAGE (Age: 24; 5'6" / 26th 1-12) vs HEATHER LOCKLEAR Age: 28; 5'5" / 10th 9-4)
After so much hairpulling destined to happen in the previous round, Heather Locklear is challenged to do almost the same with Alison Armitage. - My reputation is on the line here, I hope Alison is ready to say goodbye to her red hair, because I'll take them as a battle trophy! However Alison thinks Heather will be the one forced to lose her hair - So much bragging from a stupid blonde cxnt. I don't care about her reputation, cause it's already a sleezy one! Even less I care for her useless blonde locks which I'm going to rip all out!
 

NANCY VALEN (Age: 24; 5'7" / 31st 0-13) vs DARYL HANNAH (Age: 29; 5'10" / 6th 12-1)
After such a long break Daryl Hannah barely recovered from her surfing vacation only to find out Nancy Valen wants to kick her out of the beach - You bet I will kick her from my beach. She's had a lot of wins but obviously she's not in best shape after so much surfing. Everyone knows surfing is for wimps! Daryl just had time to put her board away to hear the brunette's offensive comments and promises to teach her a lesson - Stupid cxnt talks so much I can't stand it. Luckily my fists will do my talking and I will destroy that ugly bitch in no time. Just wait and see.


LYDIA CORNELL (Age: 36; 5'6" / 7th 12-1) vs TRACY SCOGGINS (Age: 36; 5'8" / 17th 6-7)
Glamour Fights' favourite Lydia Cornell will have a strong test in this round as Tracy Scoggins is widely regarded as the most underrated woman in the competition. Both women are wary of their potential as hold back the usual mouth-off. The odds are pretty even and this could be one of the closest and most hard-fought rivalries in this round.


HEATHER THOMAS (Age: 32; 5'5.5" / 5th 12-1) vs KIM WILDE (Age: 29; 5'4" / 22nd 4-9)
On paper both women match each other in physical presence but Heather's winning record is far more impressive as she still targets the overall success - I can't be bothered by such minnows as Kim Wilde. I will kick her ass easily, any resistance from her part is out of question! However Kim comes off a good win over Virginia Madsen and wants to prove Heather is wrong in her judgement - Stupid American blondes never talk with much sense, do they? I don't believe she's as good as her record shows and I'm pretty sure some experts will support me! Let's kick this whore's skinny ass!

[Glamour Fights]

Happy days are here again.
The skies are bright and clear again.
So let’s sing a song of cheer again.
Happy days are here again.
I was afraid these tournaments had go away. Thrilled, overjoyed, ecstatic, etc. they are back. You get the picture. Time to get fingers and motion and make some comments and predictions.

Jerry Hall vs Katherine Kelly Lang: Jerry is tall alright, too tall fro my lining and too skinny to boot. Katherine is in my range of perfect fighting height: 5’’6” to 5’8” provided they have at least a medium build and not fashion model slender. Katherine moves in on Jerry quickly and turns this fight into a hairpulling, slapping, gut punching, kneeing catfight. An easy win for Katherine and it will be high up but not the top beatdown.

Hunter Tylo vs Kim Basinger: This is my third candidate for the biggest beatdown this time around. I put it just slightly below Kathleen’s fight against Sam in third place. It does have the possibility of being the top beatdown. Kim is outraged that she has lost a fight. There will be no part of poor Hunter’s body that she doesn’t attack and hurt.

Rebecca de Mornay vs Tanya Roberts: Two fighters with even records and I agree with Vassago that this one could go right down to the wire. Tanya struts around claiming she was the sexiest Charlie’s Angel, Cheryl Ladd and Jaclyn Smith be damned. Rebecca chimes in that that just shows how sexless the Angels were if Tanya is the sexiest. Tanya has darkened her hair for this fight to make it a brunette vs blonde fight. That only brings out the nastiness in Rebecca who is nasty to start off with. It his Rebecca’s aggression and just plain meanness that gives her the close victory.

Mitzi Kapture vs Kim Delaney: Once again Vassago is correct in predicting that this fight goes down to the wire. I think Mitzi is the better fighter. But I choose her mainly because I want to see her win. She is just so sexy and downright appealing that I want to see her use her silk stockings to bind and gag Kim.

Alison Armitage vs Heather Locklear: Heather just cannot understand how she has four losses. She considers herself such an evil bitch that she can tear anyone apart to matter how big and strong they are. In fact, the bigger and stronger the more she enjoys ripping out their hair and tearing them apart with her claws. She is in a fighting mood more than ever. That does not bode well for Alison. Alison might have a chance under normal conditions but when Heather is worked up like this Alison will be lucky to come out with her eyes not scratched out. A big win for Heather but not a top beatdown candidate.

Nancy Valen vs Daryl Hannah: Another lopsided fight that I predict will place in fourth place for the biggest beatdown with an outside chance of taking the title. The clan girl will tear Nancy’s Baywatch swimsuit off. She will batter her so badly that in the end Daryl will throw away her surfboard. She will drag Nancy out into the waves and ride her like a surfboard. Can you imaging Daryl hanging ten off of Nancy’s head. More likely Daryl will dig her toes in a crevice between Nancy’s legs to stay on and ride her.

Lydia Cornell vs Tracy Scoggins: I hope what I have to say hear doesn’t give Lydia second thoughts about beating Tracy for she will have to be at her best and then some to come out on top of Tracy. Tracy’s record doesn’t show it, but she is one of the biggest, meanness, dirtiest (as in cheating) fighters around and she is stronger than Heather Locklear. It is true Lydia is my favorite fighter here. I just can’t resist those bedroom eyes, that figure, and that smile. But she is not my favorite to win the title. Kathleen is my favorite and I won’t say who my second pick is. Having said all that I think Lydia has what it takes to beat Tracy. She will use Tracy’s nastiness and strength against her. It will be a long, hard fight but the sweeter and more adorable Lydia will prevail in the end.

Heather Thomas vs Kim Wilde: My final candidate for the possible biggest beatdown but not quite in the top tier. I suspect Heather thinks that she will get the biggest beatdown. She is cocky but not overly cocky, rather it is a healthy confidence. She knows she is better than Kim Basinger and plans to move ahead of her this round by beating the stuffing out of Kim. Kim has tried to even up her chances by wearing a Levi jacket that will absorb a lot of punishment. She thinks Heather’s delicate braless top will allow her to make mince meat of Heather’s boobs. That could slow Heather down or come enrage her enough to get the biggest beatdown.

[byline]

Some good match ups in this set with Rebecca de Mornay against Tanya Roberts and Mitzi Kapture against Kim Delaney being the most competitive fights.

Jerry Hall beaten by Katherine Kelly Lang
Like Brooke Shields against Donna Dixon, Jerry Hall has the height advantage over Katherine Kelly Lang. The difference in the two fights is that Jerry has such a frail body. It only takes a few seconds for Katherine to rip off Jerry’s frilly costume. She exposes Jerry’s small tits and bony ribs. Punches to those tits and exposed ribs puts Jerry down where Katherine’s elegant legs crush the ribs even further. A much easier victory for Katherine than she had against Cindy Margolis.

Hunter Tylo beaten by Kim Basinger
This is such a physical and skill level mismatch that I think Kim Basinger has the best chance of getting the biggest beatdown this time at the expense of Hunter Tylo. This time Kim has the motivation to get pounding Hunter until she gives Hunter the worse beating. Hunter thinks she can knock Kim’s teeth out but that plays right into Kim’s game plan. She will learn what quick hand speed Kim has and how hard she can punch. I doubt if Hunter will lay a hand on Kim while Kim pummels her unconscious.

Rebecca de Mornay beaten by Tanya Roberts
Rebecca de Mornay and Tanya Roberts have something to prove as they had identical records. So this is not only a fight for the win but to move ahead of the other in the standings. It truly is to prove which is the better woman. The two will fight to exhaustion giving and taking lots of punishment. Tanya will eke out the victory as she is in slightly better shape than Rebecca.

Mitzi Kapture beats Kim Delaney.
Another close fight that could go either way. Had Kim won more than one fight I would have picked her to win. Kim has broken her losing streak and that should give her confidence but I think that perhaps it is a case of having finally won a fight she will have a bit of a let down. Combine that with the fact that Mitzi is just a better catfighter and she will end up with more of Kim’s hair than Kim does of hers. Even so this fight could last longer and be more even than the Rebecca against Tanya fight.

Alison Armitage beaten by Heather Locklear
Physically this should be a very even fight and even favor Alison Armitage. But when Heather Locklear says her reputation is on the line you know she will be even more dirty, nasty, and vicious than normal – and her normal is good enough to beat most other women. Heather is so fast she won’t know which direction Heather will be coming from to either claw her or rip her hair out. A big win for Heather against an opponent who should have been able to give her a close fight.

Nancy Valen beaten by Daryl Hannah
Let’s just say by the time Daryl Hannah is finished with Nancy Valen it will look like she used her surf board on Nancy. She won’t have as the destruction will be down with nothing else other than her hands and feet. Nancy’s best bet of surviving is to run from the beach as fast as she can. But even that isn’t good enough as Daryl can run her down easily and drag her back to finish the beating.

Lydia Cornell beaten by Tracy Scoggins
This is my runner up pick for the biggest beat down. Lydia Cornell is cocky beyond her abilities having received only one loss and won some fights she should have been beaten up in. She is made even more insufferable with the encouragement from GF. Talk about wanting to tear someone apart! Tracy Scoggins has a mean disposition to begin with. When she sees Lydia strutting around like she can beat anyone she gets even meaner. “No way that bimbo can stand up to me! I will pummel her from the star to the finish and leave her a bloody mess.” And you know Tracy means. It. Lydia’s bubble is about to be burst along with her big boobs.

Heather Thomas beats Kim Wilde.
Heather Thomas is also angry hearing Vassago claim that Kim Wilde has the same physical presence as she does. Heather is going to give Kim a lesson in how to be a stunt double punching bag. Even that denim jacket would protect Kim enough from Heather’s blows. That is even when she is wearing it. After Heather rips it off then Kim is in for

[Vassago]

Round 14 is over and here are the results. Daryl Hannah was the winner in the biggest beatdown competition and also scored a record margin for the entire tournament!

Once again thanks for all the expert comments and votes! 

Jerry Hall (40) vs Katherine Kelly Lang (72)
It's getting from bad to worse for Jerry Hall and this fight was another example. Katherine Kelly Lang wasted little time and punched the model several times in the face and ribs and Jerry was already looking like a punchbag there. Katherine then forced the model on her knees and delivered a crushing blow to the face which left Jerry semi-conscious on the floor. Katherine then grabbed Jerry by the hair and dragged her out of the room. Who she has done with her after that, I'll have to ask her before the next round!

Hunter Tylo (41) vs Kim Basinger (73)
This was a brutal display of dominance by Kim Basinger who easily forced Hunter Tylo on her back and started to punch her as hard as she could. The brunette was hoping for Kim to get tired, but this was never going to happen and once Kim squashed her mouth in a bloody mess and Hunter started spitting out her teeth, it was all over. Kim left Hunter in all sorts of bother, beaten up to a pulp.

Rebecca de Mornay (56) vs Tanya Roberts (53)
This proved to be the second closest fight of the round. The experts were split on this one and both women delivered a great fight. There was a lot of hairpulling, face scratching, eye-goughing and clothes ripping as they both rolled on the floor trying to get control. In the end, Rebecca managed to pin Tanya's back against the wall and bury her nails in Tanya's eyes. Tanya was desperately trying to yank Rebecca by the hair, but the pain she was suffering proved to much and she screamed out in agony. Rebecca quickly dragged her on her back and pinned her flat out where Tanya just couldn't do anything about it anymore. Rebecca's aggression prevailed over Tanya's physical shape by the narrowest of margins.

Mitzi Kapture (55) vs Kim Delaney (57)
This was the closest fight of the entire round. Both women promised to waste each other's hair and got involved in a very long hairpulling brawl with chunks of brown hair covering the floor in no time. Mitzi and Kim first struggled on their feet, before going down on her knees and eventually on teh floor. After a very long spell of vicious hairpulling, both had only a single strand on hair left and whoever managed to rip that out from her opponent's head would be the winner. And then the last strand was finally ripped out and it was from Mitzi's head who immediately covered her face in hands as Kim grimmed over the hapless rival and waived Mitzi's strand across the face - How do you like that, you bald cxnt? Mitzi had no response and crawled away from the scene in total disarray.

Alison Armitage (50) vs Heather Locklear (61)
This was another clear victory for one woman, however anything but a blow-out. Alison Armitage challenged Heather Locklear in the clawing,slapping and hairpulling department until she had strenght and while Heather was still in a relaxed mood. But when the blonde decided it's time to turn this fight ugly, she left Alison with face as red as her own hair. Few kicks and punches send the redhead on to ground where Heather facesitted her onto victory. Brave effort from Alison, but Heather was just too big of a bitch to go down here.

Nancy Valen (28) vs Daryl Hannah (82)
This fight produced the biggest beatdown of the entire tournament with Daryl Hannah on a personal mission. Demi Moore held the biggest winning margin in this round alone and of course she was the only one who defeated Daryl in the tournament. So the blonde had another reason to destroy Nancy Valen as brutally as possible. The fight lasted barely a minute, before Nancy knew what was going on, her swimsuit was already shredded to pieces and Daryl grabbing her by the hair and pounding her head against the surf board. Nancy escaped a broken nose but was knocked unsonscious and didn't feel anything when Daryl tied her up to the surfboard and let it loose on the sea. Daryl Hannah claims the biggest beatdown as a consolation prize over Demi Moore but also manages to take away Kim Basinger's record for the entire tournament and sets the new mark at 54 votes difference. In addition she became the first fighter to ever get over 80 votes per single round! It's just huge pay day for Daryl in Round 14!

Lydia Cornell (57) vs Tracy Scoggins (52)
The third closest fight of the entire round was one of highest calliber. Both Lydia and Tracy had the experts puzzled on the eventual winner and it went punch for punch, kick for kick and scratch for scratch. The draw was on the cards right until the finish with both women looking dead on their legs but refusing to give up. Heather Thomas was already waiting for her fight and yelled from the stands for these two to move out of the way and settle for a draw when that shout distracted Tracy who looked upon who that was and this enabled Lydia to jump like a cat at Tracy's feet and trip her over. The brunette took a heavy landing and had very limb of her body aching already so she couldn't get up anymore while Lydia barely had strenght to crawl over Tracy and pin her for a very hard fought win.

Heather Thomas (78) vs Kim Wilde (33)
There was a shocking response from Heather Thomas who incidentally helped her nemesis Lydia Cornell by distracting Tracy Scoggins, so she decided she needs to make amends for that mistake and really go after Kim Wilde for a top blow-out. Heather's rage of fury was so severe that Kim's stomach soon turned into jelly beans and her faced clawed apart by the American's sharp nails. Kim tried to salvage some pride by ripping Heather's pink blouse to pieces but Heather knocked her unconscious soon thereafter and took the singer's jacket as a battle trophy to make up for the shredded blouse. This was enough for Heather Thomas to score the second highest beatdown of the entire round only behind Daryl Hannah.