-
(OOC: I know this isn't a celeb vs celeb story, but give it a read. Hopefully you guys will like it)
I could take one helluva good beating or at-least make it look like I was taking a beating. So, I naturally became a wrestler and I don't mean like a girl who does it professionally. Well, I did try to become a professional wrestler but found that being a starving artist isn't my thing really. When the owner of a wrestling website stumbled onto a match of mine on Youtube, I got an offer to film a video for him. I found myself in the weird word of "underground wrestling" and I'm actually good at it. At first it was weird being in some guy's backyard with a regulation wrestling ring with tarp over it, but the pay was better than the $25 a night I was receiving. I'm usually on the losing end of most bouts, but I can make anybody look good. Since I possessed the girl next door look (Brown hair, 5'5, bit of meat on me) I found myself cast in the role of being a jobber in most matches. Which isn't bad but a few wrestlers have taken liberties with me. I come for a world of imaginary athletics, let's keep it that way. I had a manager and I drew the line with him when he wanted me to participate in something called "Ultimate Surrender", some hybrid of wrestling and sex. When I told him no thanks, I was screwed. I went from being booked consistently for most of the major companies to resuming my role as starving artist. Luckily, I met Tori my current manager and now I'm back to being a video wrestling jobber. That does sound awful out loud, but my comeback was short lived. I did a private session and ended up breaking my arm when some lady wanted to do an arm bar since she it on "Ultimate Fighting". Luckily, Tori helped to pay my medical bills and kept me on staff at her agency doing odd jobs. She was a pretty good competitor back in her day, but she wrecked her knee in a car crash. She got back into shape but the knee was pretty bad so she retired and used her connections in the industry to represent talent. She talks about having one last bout every now and then. She's still in pretty good shape for her age and kept her figure rather well.
The arm was healed and my boss called me with an interesting proposition. A celebrity was looking to blow off some steam and wanted somebody to toss around. It would be a fully competitive bout, so expect to take a beating she told me. I said sure, my manager was getting a nice payment and I was getting a cut for taking a beating. That night, I arrived with my bag at a hotel, got my key and waited. It wasn't a bad room, a suite actually with enough room to work. The nice thing is that after the beating, I get the room for the rest of the night under the condition I don't run up a huge bill. So, I waited not knowing what was coming through that door. I changed into a purple sports bra with boyshorts and paced the room, the nerves overtaking me. Maybe this was all a cruel joke and I'd be wrestling Betty White. When the door finally opened, Jennifer Lawrence walked in, albeit in a disguise it seemed like. Hoodie, sunglasses, pants, that type of stuff. Katniss freaking Everdeen, an Oscar winner.
(https://www.freecatfights.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fatrevida.uol.com.br%2Fupload%2Fimagens_upload%2Fjennifer3.jpg&hash=7d119512f0f2e43d0c7f27cb994c5e054e9ebf4f)
"You're not the type of person who I expected to be doing this." Lawrence said.
"Growing up, I wanted to be Wonder Woman. That didn't happen, so I did this." I responded.
"So, is this a no rules type of thing?" She asked.
"Here are my rules: No strikes mostly so I don't mess up your pretty face, nothing to the belly. Nothing sexual, no fondling, groping, oil checking or any of that stuff. Most of all, if either us wants out, then we end it. First one to score a knockout wins. Is that good?"
She nodded and went off to change, while I moved some furniture around to set-up an arena. She came back dressed modestly, a sports bra with workout shorts and ankle socks. She joked about me expecting her to be dressed much more risque as we entered the area. We did a quick handshake as we faced off. We circled around each-other at first for about ten seconds. We finally locked up in a basic collar-elbow tie up and she's pretty strong. I got behind her in a body-lock of sorts.
In a smart move on her end, she reached for leg to get me off-balanced and we fell to the floor. A tangled mess of human flesh occurred and I ended up on the bad end.
I was trapped in a body scissors as a grin appeared on her face. Lawrence seemed to enjoy squeezing my visible muffin top as I tried to escape. I was in a good amount of pain as I panicked. I didn't want to go out on the first move. I grabbed a hold of her ankle and began cranking on it as hard as I could. She yelped and released the hold to my surprise.
Unfortunately, she was already making her next move and I found myself on my back. She was on-top of me and two thoughts went through my head. First, Lawrence was gorgeous as I stared into her eyes. Two, close your legs to prevent a grapevine. Unfortunately, my brain was more concerned with number one, as I ended up in a grapevine.
Great job brain.
A glimmer of light was that it wasn't a very good grapevine and I got free. I managed to reverse it...right back into a body scissors. The trash talk was starting on her end: "I thought you were good at this?" came out of her mouth. Lawrence was tugging on my long hair as I regretted putting it into a ponytail before the match. I needed something to get some offense going. I raised my fist and screamed:
"I HATED THE BILL ENGVALL SHOW!"
I brought my fist down making it look like I was aiming for her stomach, but it was a bluff. I felt a release of the hold and quickly got out and rolled her onto Lawrence's toned stomach. I then wrapped my arms around her stomach and started squeezing.
She started groaning in pain. I held onto the hold even as she tried rolling onto her side. I'll admit that I let up a bit so that she could get up back up standing. I then lifted her high in the air and then back down. A pro tip for all the guys, if you ever get a girl in a bearhug, do a reverse one. Those boobs will distract you and that'll be the downfall for you.
I dragged her down to her knees again, but the little scamp managed to sneak her arms into the lock. She slowly but surely worked her way out of the hold, but I was ready. I quickly transitioned to a headlock, and turned her over to her side.
"I thought you were supposed to good at this?" I said, full of cockiness. This was a great feeling having the Oscar winner on the ropes and I stopped paying attention to her. What I didn't notice was her leg coming up. Once it was near my face, she raised her other leg up and trapped me in a head scissors. I was impressed with how quick she locked me in the hold as I cursed myself for being cocky.
I was in a crap ton of pain now, as Lawrence hooked my good arm to prevent me from doing anything. That damn smile was back, she grabbed my hair and did the District 12 sign. I stared daggers into her eyes and Lawrence responded by making a pouting face in a move of mockery. Lawrence even mockingly tapped my stomach a few times. Darkness was coming, but Jennifer wasn't letting it come that easy.
She let go and saw that I was pretty much toast. "Now it's time to have some with you, darkness ain't coming for a while." As she looked down at me, I tried to grab her leg, but she kicked it away. I rolled over onto my back as she stood over me. I began to rise when suddenly, she dropped all her weight onto my back. I let out a hellacious scream and to make matters worse, she followed me down as she was now sitting on my back. Lawrence was taking her time as she occasionally put pressure on my aching back as grabbed a handful of hair. "You still with us" Lawrence asked sarcastically.
Lawrence grabbed my arms in a full nelson and fear began to wash over me. A full nelson camel clutch is a brutal move with absolutely no escape. She began to crank back as I began to scream. The screams seemed to make her crank harder and now she was cranking, then bringing me down and cranking again. The good news was that my back cracked but that was about it for good news. I considered giving up but the pride in me refused to give up and thought I could make a comeback with the right move. Hey, I see my old friend darkness arriving and gave up on any hope of a comeback.
As she had me cranked up, she just let go of the hold. She got down to eye-level with me.
"It isn't over by a long shot, in-fact I saw something that I wanna try out. Looked brutal when I saw it. Is it that okay with you?"
Random gibberish on my end.
She once again stood over me and placed her foot on the middle of my back. She grabbed my arms in put me in a standing surfboard, more pain and anguish on my end. After what felt like an eternity, she just released the hold. She finally let my get back up to one knee.
"You just won't go down, will you?" She asked, almost astounded that I was surviving.
"Nope" It was all I could really say.
She looked at her phone which was near our area and looked back at me. She clapped her hands as she "Well, this has been really fun, but it's time to put you out now." She walked over to me. I was sapped of energy.
She grabbed me by my hair and pushed my head to the side. She raised her hand and looked down at me. "They want me to do the new Austin Powers film, so I watched the films and saw him do this." She brought her hand and I mustered all my energy to block it. No can do. It was a precision blow to the side of my neck. She then brought my head to the chopped side and did the same with her other hand.
Darkness.
Crap.
She let go as I just fell forward, embracing the darkness, my ass up in the air and Lawrence placed her foot on it and flexed for a moment, signifying her dominant victory. From what my boss told me, she rolled me over and put her foot on my chest and took a victory selfie. At-least I had the hotel room for the rest of the night.
The end.
-
Jobbers have it tough. That was a good read, especially the beating she took from Jennifer Lawrence. Thanks for posting.
-
Great read. I usually find the celebrity section to be pretty worthless, but this was awesome.
-
Friday afternoon, lunch time.
In the days following my "debut" against Jennifer Lawrence, I came to the conclusion that I needed to take things seriously. Lawrence was thrilled by the experienced and I was thrilled at the idea of facing her again. I had been used to the relaxed atmosphere of video shoots and it showed in my performance. I was winded early and wasn't nearly as aggressive as I should be in a situation like this. My back was killing me the day after but it didn't hurt as my pride and a to a certain extent...my ego. Lawrence placing her foot on my ass and taking a selfie while the pool of drool that formed on the carpet killed my pride. Lawrence's subtle taunts hurt my ego and being so thoroughly thrashed I knew I had to get in better shape for these matches. However, the boss offered to buy me In-N-Out Burger for lunch and I can never and I mean never turn that down.
"I want a rematch," I told Tori.
Tori looked up from her lunch with a confused look on her face.
"A rematch?" She asked looking at me like I had just said something extremely stupid.
"I had her!" I said confidently.
"A rematch with an Oscar winning actress? The same one whom according to what you said did the following to you: Body scissors, grapevine, body scissors, head scissors, full nelson camel clutch, standing surfboard and two karate chops," She said.
"Well, when you say it that way, it doesn’t sound very competitive. Plus, she took a victory pose selfie. She’s probably going to tell all her friends about that and they’re going to do that to me now. Tell her, I’ll face an opponent of her choice. Amy Adams or Natalie Dormer preferably," I said.
"No. Anyways, I got you booked for a session tonight," Tori stated.
"My birthdays coming up," I countered.
"Your birthday is in May," She responded.
"Still coming up. Considering last year, your gift to me was a broken arm, I think you can do better. I’m thinking and I’m just spit-balling here, you and me one-on-one," I raised my eyebrows up after that last part. I had seen some of Tori's matches before her retirement in 2007 and I enjoyed her work. The black one-piece swimsuit, the heel move-set and the general "I will hurt you and hurt you bad" attitude made her matches the best.
Tori just stared at me, almost like she wanted me to continue.
"I know you still have that black one-piece you wore back when you were...I forgot what was your nickname for mixed videos? The Widowermaker?" I asked.
"Widowmaker, Widowermaker when I'd film female vs female videos," She stated correcting me.
"I thought that was Barry Windham?" I asked.
"It was," She stated.
"My knowledge of short-lived Barry Windham gimmicks isn't as a good as it used to be," I stated with a smile.
"So, who do I have to honor facing first this weekend?" I asked.
"You got a musician this weekend. You should enjoy this one," Torisaid as she shoved over a manila folder my way.
I opened it and hot damn one of my dream bouts: Katy Perry, and this is going to be fun.
"Think about it what I said. We could rent a camera set up a location and do it on our own. Poster on forums still talk about you and want to see you return." I tried to do the Ali Shuffle as I left, which made her smile. Probably because it was absolutely awful.
"Do me a favor kid, don't get yourself knocked out again. I know you have pride but I don't want this to be an occurring theme in your matches. There is nothing wrong with tapping out if you can't find mount a comeback," Tori said with a hint of concern in my voice. I agreed with her and realized that I needed to put my health first over my pride.
So I hopped into my car with my bag and drove to yet another hotel. Along the way each bump felt like a knife in my back. Thank you Miss Lawrence and I want a rematch for some reason. Why? That selfie. I arrived, showered, set up shop and waited. I changed in my shorts and sports bra and warmed up by stretching. Lo and behold, Miss Perry arrived with a quizzical look on her face. If you walked into a hotel room with and the first thing you saw was a girl in bra/panties, you're reaction would be the same. The same wardrobe that Lawrence had, the "I'm a celebrity trying to be incognito look."
(https://www.freecatfights.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpolyv.re%2F2iKJAZy&hash=9c68e3ea535fe6387bc1fff5877a71baad062535)(https://www.freecatfights.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbit.ly%2F2iSUuzL&hash=3ddb3d9cd0f279ec139598f7811df1069d1d1c35)
"I know I’m not The Rock or even The Brooklyn Brawler, but I’m the next best thing,"I said.
"Are you any good at this?" She asked.
"Well, I can guarantee that you’ll for about that Swift girl by the end of this," I said.
Then I noticed her nails, which were sharper than hell. I reached into my bag and tossed her my clippers. They bounced off her and fell to the floor.
"What are these for?" She asked.
"This nails are super sharp, so please cut them before we start." I demanded.
"I usually have a manicurist do them," She stated.
"And I like to not have my face look like I slept with an angry cat," I responded.
She huffed and headed to the bathroom. When she came out, she was ready to go. Even though she was told to wear athletic attire, she was wearing black panties with a black bra that accentuated her breasts.
"Who made that sports bra, Frederick's of Gold’s Gym?" I asked.
"All I could find," She stated and looked down to the ground right away.
BULLSHIT, I thought. Use her well known rack to distract me and beat me. I said what the hell in my mind and walked into the pseudo ring area. She followed me in and had two thoughts going in my head: Keep your eyes up at head level at all times and don't get distracted. She reached her hands out as I stood there puzzled. Even as a female, I couldn't ignore those mammies.
.
"C'mon, how about a test of strength?" She asked me.
I know it's a trap, but I go for it. I keep my distance at first, but she already had a plan. She got as close to me as possible, chest-to-massive chest. Well, my 32A's were dwarfed by Perry's legendary 32D's. I had my one thought blasting on repeat as loud as possible, but I had to peak. They looked good.
And now I'm on my back. As I was looking down, she tripped my leg out from underneath and was now on top of me. She had my hands locked in and she got a grapevine locked in, until like my previous opponent, she had it in tight.
"Tonight, I'm going to pretend you're Taylor Swift and I'm going to take out my frustrations on you" She asked.
She spread my legs even more, pain began flowing in. Those stretches did little to help you as I thanked Christ that I wasn't being booked against Karen Gillan but I did see her name on a list of potential clients. That's going to be a bad one. I began an attempt to power my way out, but then I forgot that while my boss ate a salad for lunch, I had In-n-Out. Finally, after much effort, I got my hands free and went to move: Bearhug. I began squeezing, even though you can't do much off your back but it accomplished what I needed: Get me the heck out of that move. It was a loose hug, she got out rather easily, but I was to my feet. Back on our feet and hot damn she was aggressive. I duck under a wild charge and got my hands around her waist. She tried to grab my hands, which is what I was hoping for. I grabbed her arm in a basic hammerlock, which made me feel like I had an old time mustache.
"Does it hurt?" I asked.
"Of fucking course it hurts!" She screamed. She waved her other arm around near my head, so I dragged it to the ground.
I felt her wiggling out, so I placed that arm in-between my legs and I put her other arm behind my other and wrenched back. The Rings of Saturn and my second pro wrestling reference today. I had Perry trapped in the hold as she desperately tried to escape and kicked the floor in frustration. She was not liking it one bit, so I decided to bust out some trash talk.
"Since, I got you here, I'm trying to be a singer. I heard this song on the radio today, kind of catchy, so I'm gonna sing it." I said as I cranked back on the hold.
♬“Cause, baby, now we got bad blood
You know it used to be mad love
So take a look what you’ve done, cause baby, now we got bad blood.
♬
Perry screamed as I upped the pressure on the hold.
"I'm no Liberace, but I'm not that bad." I said.
I guess that angered her since she broke out of the hold. Luckily, I still had her other arm trapped and tried for a Crippler Crossface. I had it in, but I'll be honest in saying that I was wearing myself out by cranking back so hard. Unfortunately my trap on her arm had loosened and she got out. We were back to the feet and she was looking pissed. Gotta poke the bear.
"Who did that song?" I asked, knowing the actual answer.
"TAYLOR GODDAMN SWIFT!" She screamed and charged at me, and I locked her in a bear hug. I began squeezing with all I could and should have noticed the fact that I had her off the ground. What I did noticed was that chestof hers pressed against my chest. Once again I got a look-see and she actually tried to smother me while in the hug.
It was working, but it was a distraction as she wrapped her legs around my stomach and scissored me. I managed to get my head out, even though it was glorious. The pain was starting to seep in, especially considering that I was standing and couldn't find a way out. I felt my knees starting to go, so I maneuvered her over to the couch and pretty much slammed her down on it. On the floor, I pulled her into a scissors of my own, which really wasn't painful apparently, nor really tight. She got out after a bit and was back on top of me. I was starting to wear out at this point, so I needed to pull a rabbit out of my hat.
No rabbit was available, so I turned over onto my back, a defeatist move at best. It was one dumb ass decision as we faced off once again, my gas tank running on empty. I sloppily came at her and Perry sidestepped me with ease as she grabbed a handful of my shorts pushed me forward and drove her forearm right into my back. I howled in pain as Perry let go as I stumbled forward, Perry smelling the proverbial blood in the water as I dropped to my knees. The pain was so sudden and intense that tears had welled up in my eyes. Perry kicked me to the floor with a wicked smile on her face. I managed to get up to all fours, and it seemed like she wanted that to happen. Perry grabbed me and put me in a dragon sleeper/body scissors combo. I had Dan Severn's theme running through my head as she cranked on the combo. My sides were being squeezed dry as I groaned in pain as she wrenched back on my neck. Perry let go of the hold and pushed me off her as I nearly passed out in the hold, damning myself for refusing to submit.
"All right, I'm getting bored, so I'm going to end this pretty fast." She stated confidently.
She rolled me over onto the my back and sat on my back. She placed my arms across my throat and began to choke me out. She then cranked it up, turning it into a camel clutch, cranking as hard as I could on my back, while choking me out. It wasn't long before I embraced the darkness and passed out. She dropped me, changed and left. She actually wrote a note thanking me for relieving some of her stress.
At least she didn't take a damn selfie.
-
Another great episode. I'm enjoying this little series.
-
(https://www.freecatfights.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi2.esmas.com%2Fgalerias%2Ffotos%2F2013%2F11%2F26%2F_296f9853_e2bc_fe97_206e_99ac06cfb5e3.jpg&hash=216138fbaf713fd8ab6c68f9f8153420806b7654)
Why didn't I want to fight Jaimie Alexander you might ask? Well...for one she's leggy. Leggy means long legs which means that every time this goes to the ground: Scissors. Or god forbid and knowing what Dennings talked about an armbar would mean that my arms might be out of distance from manipulation of the ankles. Plus, she was an amateur wrestler and not like it was in some state..it was TEXAS! And she was good, too. My amateur wrestling days ended when I realized that hitting somebody with a stool was a DQ...and possible arrest. Plus, this stipulation that was conceived which was two out of three falls under stripe rules. I'm starting to believe what I said when I talked about Vince Russo being an omnipotent being screwing with my life. At least we were doing this in a hotel and not a ring/dingy gym room that ever SheFights wouldn't shoot in. FREE HOTEL ROOM!
So, I decided to go for some mind games and bought a special Wonder Woman shirt just for this match. A lot of people wanted her for the role and I thought a little mind games might work. It didn't. As I stood in-front of her, wearing my shirt proud. It did not work, she even had a good chuckle. You know how much that shirt cost? A shit ton.
CUE THE NON-EXISTENT BELL RINGING! Or fall one.
Ah well, the match start and I found myself on the ground almost right when she got me in a waist-lock and dropped all her weight to the floor. I got myself back to the feet and she then promptly dropped her weight again. I then found myself flattened out and placed in a half nelson, which is her best move. Since I found out about it and watched a thirty second Youtube video and actually escaped the hold. I tried to go for a front face lock but she got her head out almost right away. I was then promptly taken down again by a low ankle take down. I actually locked in a quick scissors but she quickly broke out of the move by grabbing the back of my neck and cranking up on it. That move hurts like hell by the way and a way to break a scissor fast. Still controlling my head by the way, she snared me into a front face lock on my knees. Just as I got to my knees, bam she switched out to the goddamn hammerlock.
Yeah, I seriously need to learn some form of defense for that.
I tried to maneuver myself towards the couch and got one foot on it. I rocked back and forth thinking that I could quickly use momentum and force my way out. How? I don't know how but it didn't work, as after the rocking, I found myself off balance and back on my stomach. Alexander, keeping hold on the arm transitioned to where her knees were facing me and I saw way too many Pride matches to feel good about this. She let go only to place those legs around my in a scissors, figure four to be exact. Being flattened out didn't help and neither did her pushing her upward ankle back to add pressure. I seriously thought of bombing the first fall right there, but it was too quick and I wasn't doing bad in my mind. I was actually working towards gaining a base and was beginning to push up and went tumbling over.
Great you might say, but she had the figure four head scissors still locked in by the way. Once again, I was finding my way out but she was smart and let go. As she was getting to her feet, I actually managed to snare a quick take down, grabbed her leg and got back to my feet. I dropped down for some type of leg lock and did I tell you that I have zero submission wrestling training at all? She promptly rolled out and I found myself on my stomach. She was on top of me and I thought she was going for a choke, her arms were closing in around my throat. So I tried to buck off her and it was a bait and switch. No choke, but a body lock was latched in around the stomach and I was flattened back out. To make matters indefinitely worse, she threw in a little camel clutch action and I knew that it was time to to tap. I had effectively bombed the first fall with that tap. I surrendered my cheap pair of socks, which she promptly rolled into a ball and threw at me.
Fall One: Alexander
"Did you bomb the fall?"
"I may or may not have."
"Damn, that was my plan."
"Great minds think a like I guess."
My plan was simple, circle around and try to get her to do something stupid. That's what the plan was in my mind, however my* guts took over and charged right in. What she did was simple, just duck under and take me right down to the ground. Yeah, not great at all, but I was against the couch so I had a way to get back up. I actually worked my way to a sitting position on the couch and managed to escape. I was standing on the couch like I was on gool when she actually got onto the couch. Wow, I'm fighting on a couch and of course I was put on my back when I charged into a take down. This actually worked because I simply slid off the couch, but she got a hold of my arm and head. So yeah, I was hanging off my couch by my bad arm and head which was now in armbar/head Oh yeah, and that whole leggy thing came into play here. I began trying to undo the ankles and couldn't reach so I began to try get my hand between the thighs and I hope of escape until she got a hold of that hand and I was routinely fucked. In the good news section which wasn't much at this point, I wasn't hanging off by the arm but facing the person inflicting said pain but still on my knees.
"So, how are you doing?"
"In pain, lots and lots of pain."
"Aww, too bad."
Well, I had some bad news for her, as I was actually mounting some type of move! I was actually able to get my arms free which doesn't seem like much, but progress people. In a fight in which I've been taken down repeatedly, I'll take getting a limb or two out. You know what? I actually got out and she might have been shocked. Once again, guts ruled over brains and I dove at her...to only eat a whole bunch of couch. She then simply grabbed me in a choke and fell backwards which can induce vomiting if done properly. It wasn't a tight choke but just enough to make me uncomfortable at this point. Hell, the thought of this match had made me uncomfortable in the first place. so this was no different. Luckily enough, she hadn't trapped my legs so I was to swing them to turn over to all fours. I was then able to slip off and get my hands around her waist!
HOLY SHIT, AN ACTUAL DOMINANT POSITION!
I knew it couldn't last so I quickly thought of a movie and I decided to work over the legs a bit. I managed to flatten her out and grab a hold of her calf and twine mine together for a Calf Killer. The move hurts since your bending their calf over your and I modified it a bit by pushing her ankle back a bit, adding to the pressure. I honestly thought I had something here until she got her around my goozle and started choking me. Since both of my hands are used to keep hold of the calve, I had to let go of the hold, but Alexander didn't in fact she used to maneuver to mount with the choke still on. Holy shit, I might actually die considering that I was being strangled. I was finally able to get her hands and what did ya know, she had a grapevine in. Did you notice that these girls have the same type of moves? Pretty lazy if you ask me.
The move hurt but she made one mistake and I already had my counter in, a bearhug. With do thanks to the Sleeperkid for that one and I had my hands gripped together. This was more of a war of attrition than the fast paced sprint that I expected it to be. Oh well, the hug did what it meant to do and her legs slipped out from behind mine and I rolled her over to her back. When I stupidly went to get my arms out, she got her legs up and tried to snare an armbar in, but I had my hands together so I was safe. There I was, on my knees trying to keep my hands together and I got my arms out and around one of her legs. I flipped her over and latched in a single leg crab, pushing back as hard as I could trying to get a tap. I thought I had it in tight, but there she was almost getting out of the hold. Finally, she knocked me off balance and I fell to the floor but I still had a hold of one leg and got a hold of another while on my back. I slowly rose up and tried to flip her back over, but she knew what was coming and blocked it. I tried again, but she did the same thing and so on. Finally after faking her out I finally got her over for a Boston Crab but with my knee on her neck. I put all my energy into hold, just trying to get a tap out from her. Finally, I felt her hand tap against my calve and let go. I was exhausted, I gassed myself out putting so much effort into the hold that I knew that I'd have to finish fast or be finished. She took off her pants (Pink briefs) and while hot, I was more focused on trying to gain composure on my knees.
Winner of fall two: Me
"So, you tired yourself out a bit with that last hold little lady?"
"A bit, can I sell the pants on eBay? I have student loans to pay off."
I didn't get an answer as she came right me and grabbed me into a bear hug, which I did not see coming honestly. With the both us on our knees it was tough to escape, tougher considering she had my arms trapped too. She was squeezing quite hard, I heard my back crack and not in a good way. If you notice, I try not to scream since it shows that your opponent that they're dominating, something that I do not want to show. It's the old Walter Payton theory, don't show them that they hurt you. I wasn't close to passing out, but breathing was becoming difficult. She finally just let me go, and I knew what was coming next. Time for a whooping. She rose almost looking down on me and I rose like an idiot walking into slaughter. I actually charged at her throwing a wild punch almost but she duck under, picked me up like it was nothing and dropped me right across her knee. She didn't even do the traditional hold, I was just draped across her knee and was pushed me off slowly. Everybody knows about the back, hell everybody knows about the arm (Thanks Steph!) and this was bad.
Back to my feet and she came right at me and I actually back away and found myself against a wall. She pounced at me and I moved and got a waistlock in. Just like that she broke it like it was nothing and I felt the slow sound of my spirit breaking. She got in one of her own, lifted me up in the air and slammed me to the floor. She then maneuvered her head underneath my arm and locked in some weird crossface that hurt much worse than I thought. Some Gargano guy does the move, but it frigging hurts. I wasn't tapping or screaming so I guess that it wasn't enough for her so she let go of the hold.
"I'm gonna try something new, you mind?"
No response on my end unless you count groaning.
"I take that a yes."
She laid across my shoulders with one arm locked in a figure four and hooked my bad arm. This was new, a weird Ashi-Gatame almost. It got worse as she wrenched back as hard as she could repeatedly and yes, I did finally scream a bit. Not tapping, couldn't tap so I'd have to verbally tap out. It got worse, could you actually believe that? She placed her free arm around my throat and clasped it with the other arm and began to choke the absolute life out of me. With not escape, I verbally tapped. Being the classy lady she was, she actually let go almost right away as I laid on the floor huffing and puffing. I surrendered my Wonder Woman shirt and she took her pants back and helped me up. Hell, she even took a picture with me, her thumbs up and me with my head down. I actually wanted a rematch.
Yeah, I'm kind of stupid in that way.
Epilogue
Monday
I was coming home from picking up some grub and I was looking forward to watching Raw. The door was unlocked and I hoped that my cats didn't get out. I walked in, didn't notice Miss Lawrence sitting on my couch petting my cat. I walked straight to the kitchen dropped my food on the table and walked back into the living room.
"Dammit, are you Knighfalling me?" I asked.
"What the hell is Knigtfalling mean?" She asked.
"When Bane broke Batman's back, he had all the other villains wear him out and beat him to a pulp when he wore out. I just got my ass kicked twice in a few days." I said.
"Well, I'm not exactly happy that you and your boss expressed interest in you facing me again. I'm interested, and I'm willing to do it under one condition. You actually have to beat somebody that I get to pick. If you win which I highly doubt, you get your rematch. Sounds good?"" She asked.
"You got yourself a deal!" I stated.
She began to leave when she told me there was a gift on the couch for me. I opened it and it was a nice 8x10 framed photo of the selfie. I looked at my cat who sold out for quick pets.
"Judas." I said
The cat ignored me and kept licking himself
-
I love this series.
-
(OOC: Nice to see that I'm developing a little following with this series)
Lawrence picked Emma Watson for me to face.
I walked into the rather spacious gymnasium, got changed into new gear: black grappling shorts and a rash guard. I thought that maybe a new wardrobe would help my confidence. I walked into the room Watson had reserved and already found her waiting and she was wearing almost the same thing, pink for the guard and black for the shorts. Sorry pervs, no thong or anything like that.
"I'll say this, I definitely look better."
"Right, mate. Any special rules? How about a little no holds barreda ction."
"Sorry Hermione, we're keeping this clean. You're welcome to pursue any type of tactic to win...and I am allowed to do the same thing. The only exception is shots to the face, which are banned for protection. Submissions, and strikes to the body are legal, you or I can tap out any time to end this, or it ends in a knockout."
I did notice that one of the walls was essentially a giant mirror.
"I presume the wall with the giant mirror is intentional right?"
"I'm gonna knock you out and I'm gonna make you watch me as I do it. Lawrence offered me a pretty penny to finish you off that way."
Alright, this muggle is dead.
We also agreed that if the fight reached the mirrored wall, we would reset position in the middle of the mat. Don't want this turning into a death match.
We got into a traditional grappling face-off and I rushed Watson and put her against the wall. I had Watson against the wall, she was squirming about, trying to figure out her next move. Sh got her arms wrapped around my neck for a guillotine, but I quickly got out of the hold and backed off. We once again returned to the center of the mats and I again rushed her and placed her against the wall. This time, I had double under-hooks and tripped Watson to the ground. I could her a grunt as her back hit the thin mat. Automatically, her legs shot around my waist for a scissors, but I quickly shot up and walked away from Watson. I turned around and had a shit-eating grin on my face.
I could see Watson sitting up, miffed that I had taken her down with ease. Her hair was over her eyes and she blew at it, frustrated. I made the decision to walk over to her and offer my hand to help her up. In what can only be proof that English actresses are much nicer than their American counterparts, she accepted it and you know....didn't hit me.* We once again walked to the middle of the mats and faced off again. This time, Watson shot in on my right leg and got me to the ground with a single leg take down. I half-ass closed my legs, but what happened next shocked me. Watson hit me with an open hand slap to the face. I was genuinely confused until Watson stood up and walked away. When she turned around, she too had a shit-eating grin on her face. I got up myself (So much for my early theory about English actresses) and the moment Watson approached me, she quickly tried a double leg takedown, but I sprawled and I landed on her upper back of Watson. With a near dominant position, I quickly transitioned and got my arms locked in around her waist. Watson threw some elbows at my grip, trying to get out of her precarious position.
With all my strength, I lifted Watson off the ground and slammed her back down to the mat a foot away. Watson's head hit the mat with a *THUNK*, so I decided to get a little squeezing in around the petite waist.Watson began working on getting to a decent base by rolling around and at least trying to move into a sitting position. I have to give her credit, I upped the squeezing but she kept working and moved to a seated position. What she did next however, was smart. She grabbed me pinkie and twisted it outwards in an attempt to break the grip or break my pinkie. Eventually, the pain became unbearable and I let go of the grip. I thought about tending to the pinkie, but I knew Watson would try something and actually jumped on my back for a sleeper-hold and dragged me to the ground, with a scissors locked in for good measure. The scissors wasn't super tight, so I began to work on getting the sleeper loosened. That was tight. Finally, I was able to get the sleeper off me and was able to turn my body and was facing Watson. That's went I felt the scissors tighten in the dreaded figure-four, a brutal hold
"Trapped you, mate."
I'm in-between Hermione Granger's legs....this is every perverted Potter fans dream!
I decided to reciprocate to the slap earlier with an open hand slap to the chest that caused a loud echo throughout the room. It stung because I saw Watson cringe and she automatically got control of my hands. It lacked the "OH MY GOD, SHE IS CRACKING MY SPINE WITH HER LEGS" level of pain, so it gave me a chance to work a reversal. I was laying flat on Watson's body, so I got my knees to a kneeling position and began to push forward, finally getting Watson to let go of my hands. I managed to clasp both hands behind her head and moving it upwards towards the chest. It's an old MMA move, the can opener and I happened to know how to apply it for max pain. Finally, I felt the pressure from around my stomach relax as Watson grunted as I kept the hold on. I got back up and once again offered my hand to Watson and right when she grabbed my hand, she launched her heel straight into my stomach. I was already bent over but the pain was still rather bad and this gave Watson ample time to set up her next move. I tried to clinch up with Watson out of extinct more than anything, and she managed to get a few good shots to the gut in. I blocked one or two of them with my hip as I shot in for a takedown and was stuffed by Watson, who dished out a few kidney punches. She went to throw a knee, but I caught it at the last second.
I fully extended the leg out, kicked the other one out from underneath her, putting her on the ground. I had a hold of one leg and I quickly turned Watson onto her stomach, crossed her legs and stuck mine in and leaned back. This might cause minimal pain, even more when I managed to lock my arm around her throat and clasped my hands together for a Muta Lock, even bridging for the hold. I could hear Watson grunting and groan because of the pressure on her throat, trying to get the submission victory. Once again, a desperate Watson reached into her bag of tricks and went for the the eyes as she raked them repeated.After numerous rakes, I finally let go of the hold as I checked my eyes to see if I could see. I managed to keep Watson on my stomach as I mounted her (That sounds awful) and locked in a basic hammerlock, but I wrenched the arm up as high as I could. Watson was squirming and her legs were kicking the floor, so I decided to up the arm pain by reaching into his own bag of tricks. I moved to Watson's left side, pinned it between his legs and then lifted the arm he'd work over up and hooked it. It was The Rings of Saturn, a move that is inescapable if used properly. I had the move locked in tight as Watson began to scream out in pain, as Watson did all she could to escape. Finally, I made a mistake and stretched her a big high and she rolled over. While I still had one arm trapped, Watson was able to slide it out and moved into a mounted position. She tried going for a kimura, but I was able to block it, frustrating her along the way. I was able to roll over onto my stomach and then I realized that it was a bad fricking idea. She could go with the body-lock that made me pass out or something worse. If that even exists. It does. Watson quickly moved into a figure four head scissors on her side, trapped my arm in-between her legs and manipulated me onto flaying around like a fish, flopping around from being on my side to flat on my stomach and held down my free arm. The pain was awful, bordering on excruciating when she would move her hips forward, thus forcing my head and neck forward. She also threw in the occasional punch to the gut and to my hip when I would try and block it. I was desperate for an escape and I actually stumbled onto one miraculously.
The next time, she brought me forward, I was able to get my trapped hand free and I PUNCHED HER IN THE TEMPLE! I broke my rules, but then again, she raked my eyes like five times, so fuck it. She quickly let go of the hold and rolled over to check her precious face as I rubbed my neck. I approached her, and she threw a wicked elbow to the liver that put me down. Bas Rutten would be happy, I am not though as my liver is in worse pain than 50 center beer and wings night. I gotta feeling the gloves are coming off and the whole respectful grappling part of the day is gone. Watson spread my legs apart and straight up stomped me in the crotch and grinded the heel much to my dismay. Watson smiled as she stepped back as I curled into a ball, tears welling up in my eyes. Watson showed some class and restraint and giving me time to get up as I saw her put hers fists up, and I did the same. The air in the room changed, gone was the feel of a traditional wrestling match and now it felt like a fistfight was coming.
This is a new feeling
Watson threw a quick jab that I parried at my face and then I realized the rules had been thrown out the window. I tried to counter with a punch of my arm, but she caught my arm and hooked it, fully extending it out. Watson threw a few quick shots to the stomach, each one driving the air out of my stomach. These were little shots, as I noticed she wasn't exactly a heavy hitter. Still, the little shots do the damage over time and she launched two punches to the chest as I realized I was trapped. I kicked her leg out from underneath her and she tumbled to the ground, as did I. I dropped a thunderous punch to the stomach as her legs kicked up in the air and she moaned in pain. I brought down two or three punches from the same angle as she grunted with each blow. I dropped one more but Watson quickly rolled out of the way. We both up and engaged in a tight clinch as Watson threw a wicked knee and grabbing a hold of my rash guard and threw three wicked knees that to my gut, followed by a brutal one right to the jaw. She followed up with another as I was manipulated against the wall. Watson let go as I less than gracefully stumbled against the wall. Watson stood before me, cracking her knuckles.
First it was a left jab when I came at her, it put me against the wall again. She followed that up with a left cross, followed by a right hook as I tried to block the shots, but they were connecting right on the button. A left uppercut snapped my head backwards, leaving my face open by a brutal and what should have been fight ending right hook. I was still standing by some miracle, punch drunk even, so Watson grabbed my head in a Thai clinch. She reared back with a brutal knee to the head followed by one to the gut, another one to the gut and finally one last shot to the head. She let go as I crumpled to the floor. My jaw was stinging from the barrage of knees and punches and this would put me down. I saw Watson rearing back that knee and blew a goodnight kiss and threw the knee at my head.
I dodged it just barely.
Her knee crashed against the hard wood wall as I saw her limping as I tackled her to the ground and locked in a knee bar, hyper-extending it as far as I could. I could Watson scream out in pain as she scrambled to find a way out. She threw a series of punches at the small of my back trying to inflict pain, but I was running on adrenaline. I was hoping to hear the sweet sound of hand tapping mat, but I was disappointed when she was still squirming. I didn't know that her gym bag was in a reach as she got a hold of her belt and she lashed my back about seven times before the pain was so great that I let go. Watson got up and lashed my back a few more times before dropping the belt. Note to self, make sure the rematch is a White Castle of Fear Match. Watson crawled onto my back and managed to lock her legs in for the body lock. She locked in precisely with the hips pressed forward and I was screaming in pain. I remembered hearing a theory that escape would be impossible against somebody like Karen Gillan because of her height. Tori suggested that if I could get my arms between my legs and began to push onto my side, I could buck her off. Tori also said that if the both of us were sweaty, I could end up flat on my back, still screwed. I could still buck her off, but I'd have little time to get free. Well, I managed to get hands between her legs and managed to get to my side, but the fact that we were both sweaty resulted in me flat on my back. Watson had put her hand out to stop from falling over and reapplied the bodylock, albeit not as painful. I also realized that me being flat on my back and trapped was also not good. Watson just as easily punch me out from this position, but she leaned forward and...
Licked me?
While it was thoroughly erotic, dried saliva is weird and then she slapped me in the face. Then licked the other side of my face. Then slapped me in that side of the face. Rinse. Repeat. Humiliation. This is how it ends, doesn't it? Just seal my fate with a punch to the fa....
Just hit her in the stomach dummy.
I did that and while it affected her, I could see that it didn't help my plight. So, I hit her again and I could feel the grip loosen. Finally, a rocket launcher of a third one finally resulted in Watson stumbling my right side, opening her legs for me to escape. I tried to escape but Watson pulled me down and locked me in a frigging gogoplata of all things!! I didn't know that Hogwarts taught BJJ...I'm sure there's a story written about Hermione using BJJ on Ron and Harry in some dark corner of the internet. I had my hand in the air, signaling that I was considering tapping out but I couldn't bring myself to submit. Instead, I balled my right hand into a fist and started throwing little punches to the chest with with my left hand. The shots had little power but it was enough to break the hold and I just started to punch at her while I was on my my knees. I got on top of her and I put all my weight on top of her, and started to punch away at the stomach and chest with everything I could. I could hear her groan as she covered up completely as I was not on my knees hitting her and eventually I stood and just threw punches at her side and anywhere, trying to connect with a heavy shot. It was like the frustration from the last three fights was finally released with these punches, almost like it was my JOBBERETE SMASH moment. The sound of punches hitting flesh filled the room as I stood up and quickly fell to the ground, like I had expended all my energy. I stumbled over the wall to keep myself up I saw Watson crawl over to the mirror as we both locked eyes when she got to a sitting position.
I nodded my head, she nodded her head in return.
After fifty five minutes of what could be described a war, the fight was hopefully reaching it's climax.
We both came out of our respective areas like two boxers in the final round. We were both exhausted with Watson's hair disheveled, both of our guards were covered in sweat, both of us breathing heavily. We both threw tepid jabs that dodged easily. I shot in for a takedown with everything I had left, but Watson dodged it and I went crashing shoulder first into the mirrored wall. It didn't hurt, but I was hoping to reset, but Watson was aggressive. I was holding my shoulder in pain as Watson grab my hair and drove my head straight into the mirror full force. It caused a small crack in the mirror and luckily, there was no blood loss. Watson grabbed my head and again, rammed it into the mirror again, causing the crack to grow. After a third one, I fell backwards to the floor, out of it, my head screaming in pain. I can't blame her, the rules had been thrown out the window a long time ago and it was about the victory at this point. Watson stood over me and just as she promised, I was going to witness myself being knocked out and humiliatingly enough, it was a foot on the throat. I squirmed as her foot was brought down upon my throat, causing intense pressure as my legs flailed in the air. My hands tried to lift it off, but it gave Watson the incentive to up the pressure. I was out of time, and I was out of ideas....
So I hit her in the vagina.
I could see her eyes well up with tears as her foot immediately left my throat. She stumbled a bit and then fell backwards to the mat, holding her nether regions in pain. I felt guilty, but I knew that with the mirror shots, she had escalated the conflict. I was still on the ground, as I slowly made it to all fours, getting up wasn't easy. I thought about approaching her, but I knew better so I waited as she crawled towards me, and I crawled towards her. We were both on our knees and it almost felt like the first one to rise would pick at the bones of the other. Watson got on one knee as I tried to will my body to meet up, but she made a mistake. She threw a wild punch that I ducked and she fell to the ground. I kind of assisted her and held her down as I sat on her back. I snagged in a full nelson and slowly got my knees off the ground. I was going for a full nelson camel clutch, the inescapable death move that I had inflicted upon me by Lawrence. I pulled back with all my might and was using whatever energy I had left in me to pull back on the hold. No funny games, so that could bring up and back down like I went through, just get the fucking tap out. I could hear her screaming and I did her the honor of making sure she wouldn't have to see this via mirror. I continued to pull with all my might for almost a full minute in a half, and I could see Watson was fighting passing out. Almost begrudgingly, I heard music to my ears:
*TAPS OUT ON MY KNEE*
*TAPS OUT ON MY KNEE*
*TAPS OUT ON MY KNEE*
I let go automatically and fell backwards and rolled out Watson. My body was in immense pain as I tried to get up. It was tough, but I finally got up as I offered my hand to Watson who slapped it away. I'd explain what happened next, but for now, I'm done talking.
Lawrence, I'm coming for you.
-
Pure awesomeness.
-
The only thing I thought about in the days following the Watson fight was getting my hands on Lawrence finally. I trained like crazy in the three weeks following the match, working on my cardio mostly. I had leaned down and while I didn't have washboard abs, I was getting there. I had a custom shirt made for the match, a black shirt with "I WANT THE WIN" in white lettering and "NOW OR NEVER" on the back. I wore it as I waited for Lawrence to arrive at the hotel room and my brunette tormentor walked in and walked straight to the bathroom. No words were exchanged, as I had my back to her as she entered. When Lawrence came out of the bathroom.....
(https://www.freecatfights.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2012%2F11%2F22%2Farticle-2236706-1628EC8A000005DC-604_634x687.jpg&hash=2d0823de2cb84994202c5d5cd25609f88506072b)
"Not exactly proper fight gear, Miss Lawrence," I said in a tisk tisk tone
"Don't care. I know that stupid boss of yours sent me a recommendation of what I should wear. No way in hell am I wearing a one-piece swimsuit, especially one from the 90's," Lawrence snapped back at me.
The time for talk was over as we both got into a grappling stances as we both tried to reach out, but our hands were quickly slapped away. Finally, Lawrence got out of her stance and offered her hand out for a friendly shake.
"May the best woman win." Lawrence said with a sly smile on her face.
"Damn right," I said quickly responding.
It was a friendly shake under Lawrence got a hold of my head in a Thai clinch and delivered a brutal knee, square in the gut. I momentarily fell to one knee, but Lawrence was already pulling me up, using my shirt this time. Lawrence launched another knee and out came a chorus of grunts and the release of air. A third knee was actually blocked, followed by another blocked knee, but the next one connected. Lawrence let go of me as I crumpled to the ground and went into a fetal position. She was also in possession of the Jobber's shirt, as she held it up like a trophy and quickly tossed it halfway across the room. Lawrence cockily placed her foot on the my hip, her fingers tapping the top of her knee.
"This has been really lame. You go down after a few knees to the bread basket?" Lawrence said with a slight hint of sarcasm.
"You try taking a few shots in the stomach." I responded responded between coughs and trying to regain mybreath.
"Alright tough guy, give me your best shot." Lawrence responded with an astute amount of confidence,
I had a look that could be described as part "Are you serious" and part "I'm gonna punch a hole in your gut ala Kung Pow: Enter the First". It was a trepidatious rise as Miss Lawrence stood before me, hands behind her head.
"Three shots and if you can put me down, I'll give you three grand." Lawrence said.
"Deal." I responded.
I reared back and threw everything he had into a shot into the toned stomach of Miss Lawrence. I heard a grunt through gritted teeth, he was surprised. Hell, Tori taught me how to throw a wicked stomach punch, but this did nothing. I backed up and saw Lawrence nodding at him, which just pissed me off. I threw an uppercut, putting everything I had into it and it still didn't get the job done.
"You punch like a three year old." Lawrence said through somewhat labored breathing.
The labored breathing told me that I was onto something, the shots while no-sold by Lawrence had done some damage. I ran through every conceivable blow in his head, and I settled on the one shot. I reared back, faked a punch and instead a shin-lead kick to the gut of Lawrence. Lawrence let out a huge gasp of air as she was draped over my leg, gasping for air. I slid my leg out as Lawrence crumpled to the ground, flat on her back.
"You owe me three grand" I said while looking over Lawrence.
Lawrence's stomach was moving up and down at a fast pace and it was a tempting target. While I considered driving a few more blows into her stomach to prove a point, I decided on a different tactic. I reached down to Lawrence and actually put his hand out, to help her up.
I am not a smart woman, however Miss Lawrence is a smart woman.
Lawrence executed a psuedo-drop-toe-hold as I hit my head on the carpeted (More of a thin layer of carpet with cement probably) floor. Lawrence already her next move ready to go as she place her legs between my throat and clamped down a side head scissor. The legs of The Jobber flailed wildly as I slowly manipulated my left hand between her crossed ankles to relieve pressure. Finally, after much manipulation, I got my head free and right as Lawrence was ready to get up, got my arms around her gut and dragged her to the ground. I decided to keep Lawrence in that position and even obtain back side control, but lost that when he tried to mount Lawrence and she slid out. We ended up back on our feet, Lawrence bouncing back and forth. One thought raced through my head that was: Don't get distracted.
"Hey, you're not super awful at this." Lawrence said in a surprised way.
I refused to respond as he moved in against Lawrence, trying to take her back to the ground. That didn't fair so well as Lawrence managed to snag a guillotine choke.I was impressed by the move and even more impressed when Lawrence wrapped her legs my waist. The Jobber began to panic, looking for a way out and almost considered slamming her on the hard floor. That would be overkill, but he saw no other option in sight. Walking her to the couch would be damn near impossible.
"This is most definitely, going to hurt." I said.
So, I got my arms around the waist of Lawrence, lifted up and proceeded to drive her, back first into the floor. The hold had been let go, but the both fighters took some damage. I heard the sound of the wind being driven out of Lawrence, coupled with the thud of Lawrence's back hitting the carpeted floor. I had lasted a good period of time in the choke and was wheezing, plus my head hit the floor, temporarily knocking me senseless. I could see Lawrence's back arching up and even her hands going to that area, on instinct almost.
"Goddamnit, that hurt." Lawrence said in between sounds of pain.
"I warned you." I said.
I darted towards her wildly and she ducked underneath me and got the bad arm in a hammerlock. Lawrence was essentially dragging me to the ground, cranking back on the hold when she wanted to. It was humiliation at best and she was loving every moment. It was in a seated position, swatting with my good arm. Hoping and just hoping that it would distract her enough to loosen the hold. I got my hand near her hair and instinct kicked in. I grabbed and pulled causing a nice "YELP" from Lawrence. She let go of the hold and I was quickly back to my feet.
"Dick move, I know but you did break into my apartment and pet my cat." I said.
The hair pulling must have pissed her off because she pretty much tackled me to the ground and I actually locked a body scissors in. I was working on my leg strength just to have a trick to be used. I think it was working considering she was scrambling and trying to find a way out. Finally, taking a page out of my book she started to twist my ankle in an attempt to loosen the hold. She pretty much was working a full on Ankle Lock, and the pain eventually caused me to loosen the hold enough for her to break free. She went straight into the grapevine and it wasn't like the first one...it was a tight one.
"Boy, this seems very familiar, doesn't it? You know what else be familiar? The ending and once again, I'm going for the karate chops." She said
She was really stretching my legs out and gosh-darnit it was painful. She was also placing her chest near my face, more taunting and mind games. With my hands tied down by hers, this was not a very good situation. I was beginning to squirm around, trying to force my way out when she let go of one hand and went for an armlock. Luckily that freed one arm and I used to do a chinpush which is pretty much using one's hand to push the opponents chin up. It's an annoying little move, more of a pain hold than anything. Do it long enough and it'll annoy her. Add the twisting and squirming on my end and I found myself free.
Still, Lawrence was savvy enough to move to a mounted position, looking like she was working for something. I was honestly thinking smother but she had my bad arm and it looked like she was going for an armbar from the mount. She actually had it in, but I had my hand clasped together as she was trying to fall backwards. I was actually using her position to pin her down and get back to my feet. It took some work but I was standing up and got my arm out. I think she was surprised and I busted out the Mutombo finger wag. At this point, I was surprised with how the match was going. It was more of trying to find a way out of holds more than anything else. Most of all, she was actually trying to bait me into going to the ground. She was just laying there, doing the bring it taunt. She was propped up by her elbows, legs spread open.
"C'mon, you afraid?" She asked.
I approached albeit in a slow matter as I neared her, I had an idea. I quickly grabbed her legs and decided it was time for the Sharpshooter. Yet, she was ready as she grabbed my right leg and kicked out my left leg. Losing balance, I fell right into a figure-four headscissors. This was not good at all since it was in tight and I felt weakened as the hold stayed on. I was slowly maneuvering onto my knees and Lawrence trapped my hands. Using all my strength (Dont't laugh), I lifted Lawrence's up from the ground but not very high and promptly powered her back down. I heard a thud and I was out of the hold, but dammit she was already back on the attack.
She had a hold of the bad arm and forced me onto my stomach. She then cranked my up and then drove her knee into my bad arm repeatedly. It was actually scream inducing as she did it repeatedly and I worried that it may be broken. She seemingly stopped and I was on all fours as she let go. What could she be doing I was wondering and why she was heading for the couch. She stood there and jumped off and got some decent height. Both of her feet were together and then mind thought of how bad this was going to be.
A Kevin Sullivan style double stomp to the back. Well suit, that is new. When they finally came down, it caused immense pain and if this was a Capcom game, that voice would-be screaming "KO!" as various colors flashed on-screen. I was flat on my stomach, pain sensors going crazy as Lawrence stood near my feet.
"So, you out?" She asked.
Various murmurs.
"Good, TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL!" She said loudly.
I am so going to chop her in the tit for that one. I was essentially helpless as she easily applied the hold. It was painful as she pushed up and down and worst of all, I had to watch her. It was equal parts smile and laughter and I realized that I needed to rally fast. I began to do my damndest to try and turn over to my stomach. I felt like Sting at Bash 1990 and all that was missing was Ross and Caudle calling the action. I finally turned onto my stomach, reversing the pain onto her end. I finally got loose and got her into the Sharpshooter/Scorpion Deathlock. I had it in the middle of the room and I was cranking back as hard as I could. Yet, she was crawling to the couch and using it to climb up. As she did, I began to lose my balance and I finally had to let go.
She was not getting away that easy. I let go and quickly wrapped her arms around her stomach. I squeezed and dragged her to the ground, trapping her legs as she began to moan and pout. I was squeezing as hard as I could and I felt that victory was close. Yet, she got her hands underneath mine and began to break the grip. I let go and automatically clasped in the chicken wing, as I felt like God. Or Bob Backlund at the very least. It was a legit shoot hold as she was actually screaming in pain. She was actually getting me onto my back and she made her counter move.
Five sharp elbows to my ribs at first and when I wasn't letting go, more came. I finally let go, coughing because they fucking hurt. I felt something grab my hair and I looked up and saw her. She pulled me to my knees as I was holding my ribs. She had her hand in formation of a chop.
"Unlike last time, I want you to see me putting you down." She said
Her hand came down and it was time for an last act of defiance. Her hand came down and I blocked it with my hand. She seemed shock as I rose to my knees. I kept my grip as I got closer and was finally chest to chest. I got behind her and forced her arm around her throat and grabbed her other and did the same thing. Yep, I was doing to her what Perry did to me. I remembered to that she targeted my back as I moved to side and placed one knee on the ground and put the other knee out. I quickly dragged her down and she hit my knee hard. I felt her back crack a few times as I could sense victory. I still had the strangle hold in as her legs were kicking in the air. Lawrence shockingly bridged her way out of the hold and cold cocked me with a right hand to the jaw, sending me to the floor. Her elbow came crashing down into my stomach and she grinded it in. I immediately groaned as Lawrence kept pushing the elbow down. Eventually, she let up and rolled me onto stomach as I made an attempt to get back up. Lawrence made damn sure that it wouldn't happen with a swift stomp to the back. Lawrence took a seat on my back, grabbed my hair or what had grown and held my head up.
"Now, I'm trying to remember what submission move did the most damage to that back of yours? The full nelson camel clutch or the standing surfboard?" Lawrence asked.
"Full nelson camel clutch," I responded in a haze.
"I appreciate the honesty," Lawrence said with sincerity.
Did I tell you that I hate this hold? Lawrence hooked my arms and just like in that fabled first bout and began to wrench back as my grunts and groans increased. She then brought it down, giving me that false glimmer of hope that she might let go. She then wrenched back very fast and my screamed sounded like I was on helium. She did this a few more times and then one last extreme pull up as my back cracked a variety of times. The last one made me scream for about fifteen seconds and Lawrence seemed satisfied enough to let me go. She still stood over me and put her foot in the middle of my back.
"Alright, I'm pretty good on the full nelson clutch. Now, the standing surfboard," Lawrence said like a school teacher taking pleasure in torturing a student.
I decided to resist giving my arms up, even though I had realized that I was her dummy, I'd at least make her work for it. Usually, you'd give your opponent a stiff slap to the kidneys, but this wasn't any ordinary opponent. Lawrence put the heel of her foot against the back and twisted, so I willingly gave up my arms. I've been a human marionette before, thanks Molly. To make a long story short, the hold hurt like heel, more so than before thanks to the yoga. I felt her foot leave my back and my body was back on the floor. I could my legs being twisted and held in place by one of her legs. A stiff slap to my left kidney made sure than my piss might not be normal looking tonight as I gave my arms up right away. She pulled them up and rocked my body back and forth a few times and I felt her foot on the back of my head. I know what's happening next, a curb stomp.
Yep.
Her foot drove my head into the carpet and I teetering on being unconsious and hopefully this would the last of my little sparring session with her.
*Slap*
*Slap*
*Hard as fuck slap.*
I'm looking at Jennifer Lawrence's crotch, how bout that?
Wait, I'm in a figure four head scissors, this isn't good and she has my arm hooked, so it's a triangle armbar figure four head scissors I guess. Either way, I'm screwed As my head felt like a grape slowly being squeezed a she blabbed on about her leg strength. Lawrence was also applying an armbar to the bad arm, adding to the pain. Luckily, she ended the hold and helped me up and then got her hands around my waist. Yeah, she can't hu-, holy crap this actually hurts. In my video wrestling days, some of the stronger girls could squeeze me dry, and this was pretty close. It hurt like hell, I was elevated off my feet and while I had a good view of hers boys and boy they were amazing, pain was taking precedent over pleasure. I stumbled like a drunken sailor on leave and walked right into a vicious backhand slap from Lawrence as I stumbled onto the couch and sat down, hoping for a moments relaxation.
"Are you seriously sitting down on the job?" Lawrence asked sarcastically
She dragged me off my comforting couch and locked me into a front facelock, and she even said this was an attempt to stall on her end. The grand finale was arriving soon, so I'll be out before Santa drops off my gifts. She let go of the hold as I faced her, too tired to put up a fight. I stood there wavering, like a Mortal Kombat character as Lawrence measured me up like a demented kicboxer. She screamed and threw a precious kick to the head, the foot connecting with the back of my head. I went down in a heap, I caught the couch and that was keeping me up. Why you may ask?
Darkness my old friend.
"Oh you know what is coming, don't you?" Lawrence asked with confidence.
Yep.
She helped me up to my feet, got behind me and tilted my head one way. The chop came fast and hard to the side and then one in the same way but not a brutal as the last one. I still wasn't out, on both knees as I wondered what was this grand finale she had talked up. Lawrence still had my hair grasped as she dragged me to my feet. Lawrence made a mistake as she walked away from me and left me in a daze as I tried to gain my bearings. It was obvious she was looking to extend the beating. I was on all fours when I saw her saunter over to me with a look that screamed "finishing time".
After I regained my senses, I rose and grabbed both of Lawrence's legs for a quick double and proceeded to turn her over for The Boston Crab. Still in pain, Lawrence didn't put up much resistance as I turned her over with damn near ease. Lawrence in real pain now as I lowered directly onto the back of Lawrence, who was now screaming at me. I felt confident at this point with Lawrence's back bent at an unusual angle. At this point, I rose from off the back of Lawrence, standing and then sitting again, to varying degrees of screaming from Lawrence. Lawrence almost seemed ready to tap, but managed get her hand around my ankle, pulling it inwards. Eventually, I lost control of the hold and fell to the floor, giving Lawrence to get back on offense. Lawrence quickly gained the mount and placed her forearm on my throat, but I was quick to get the forearm off him. Lawrence quickly moved and got her leg underneath my head as I knew what was coming next. A mounted figure four head scissors, tough for even the best session wrestlers to pull off. I quickly panicked as Lawrence contentiously leaned backwards, ratcheting the pressure. My head began to feel like it had been put into a vice grip as he tried to find an out. I even thought of grabbing at the bikini top of Lawrence, maybe undoing it to get her off me. I then remembered that Tori had tasked me to take this job because of my professionalism, but this was no time for that crap. I reached, but Lawrence was quick and caught on and delivered three rapid fast gut shots, and then leaned back even more, putting more pressure on my head, but it did give me an idea. I tried again, and took two more shots for the team, and right as Lawrence leaned back, I grabbed a handful of Lawrence's hair and pulled her off me. I was wheezing hard as a pissed off Lawrence placed me on all fours and drove two vicious knees into him. Each one had a precise spot, right near the ribs. Flattened out, Lawrence stood above e me and right as he tried to rise, stomped me. Lawrence did this about three more times.
"First you try to undo my top and then drag me around like some freaking caveman?" Lawrence said with fury.
I gave no response as I slowly rose, winded from the offensive outburst from Lawrence. I could even see that Lawrence was a bit winded, we'd been fighting for nearly an hour!we were sweating, the once perfect hair of Lawrence was wet and messy. It didn't help that the room felt like it was eighty five degrees as the both agreed to stop and turn on the air conditioning to cool down. They began to grapple, battling for position, moving around the fight area like two monsters from the Toho films. Finally, Lawrence secured a basic headlock and seemed content to keep it locked in for a finite amount of time, an attempt to rest up. The hold wasn't hurting me too much, and Lawrence seemed to content to keep the hold on. It almost seemed like a slow dance until Lawrence decided to spruce things up by trying to take me down. I blocked it and with all my might, escaped and sent Lawrence careening into the couch. I thought she would be content to let me come after her, but she charged back into the fight area and locked me in another bearhug. I beat her to the punch and locked her in a bearhug of my own, the two of us squeezing hard. I had been on the receiving end of some brutal ones (Plus one tonight) and this was up there as I felt my back crack numerous times. The one I had locked up on Lawrence was also doing the damage and finally my bearhug won out in the end. Lawrence let go but managed to hit an ear clap before disengaging, I let go since I was temporarily disoriented. Seeing as this was a chance to inflict damage Lawrence hit a perfect sidekick to my gut that sent me against the wall. Lawrence was in pursuit as she pinned me against the wall, holding my arms above my head and drove a knee straight into the crotch, another low blow from one of Hollywood's elite.
I automatically tended my tender area which made turned my stomach into prime real estate for nine or ten quick blows from Lawrence. Each one, pounding the life out of me, I knew that I needed to pull the rabbit out of the hat. I was hurt, beginning to slump a bit when Lawrence backed up and taunted him with an Ali Shuffle. Right as she went for a potential knockout shot, I moved out of the way. It was more of a stumble out of the way, but now I was on the run. Finally, I was cornered (Literally, he was against a corner) by Lawrence, and that grin was back. Right as Lawrence went in for the kill, but I was able to grab her and toss her into the corner. Like a boxer, I went to work with sledgehammer shots to the gut and side of Lawrence, who was doing her damnedest to block everything. Shots were connecting at a rapid pace as air was leaving Lawrence's body at a rapid pace. OOFs and UGHs filled the room. Finally, I ended it with a brutal knee to the gut that bent Lawrence over and put her down to one knee. Lawrence's stomach was now redder than mine as I had to begrudgingly admit that I was surprised that Lawrence refused to tap. Grabbing her hair, I helped Lawrence up, to only met by a forearm to the stomach. Lawrence scampered into the fight area, both the bout had taken it's toll on the both of them as I followed.
We circled around each-other again, as she tried to shoot in, but it was a slow takedown. I avoided it, but tried a move not many people thought about using. The Cross Face Chicken Wing is a legitimate shoot hold and Tori once me cry when she put me in it. With it locked in, Lawrence began to scream out in pain, in the middle of the room. I was was smart to not put an insane amount of pressure, but Lawrence was fighting the hold, trying to escape.
"Miss Lawrence, this isn't a television wrestling hold, this is an authentic amateur wrestling hold. If you tap now, I wouldn't hold it against you, because this could hurt you badly." I said.
Lawrence threw a wild elbow that I barely ducked, so I dragged her to the ground and trapped her legs. On her side, I could see how much pain she was in, but she was still fighting the hold. I was willing to keep her in the hold and rip her shoulder of the socket if I didn't get a submission. She was trapped and I could keep her in the move all night if I needed to Finally, her hand tapped against the carpet three times as I let go of the hold right away. I knew how painful the hold is and didn't want to inflict any more punishment with. I got onto my knees as Lawrence rolled over onto her stomach, we were both exhausted and covered in sweat after this hellacious battle.
"Helluva fight, Jennifer." I said in-between labored breathes as I slapped Lawrence on the back.
I put my hand out and reassured her that I lacked ulterior motives as she took my hand. We engaged in a brief but intense staredown before shaking hands, albeit tensely.
"I want a damn rematch." Lawrence said.
"Oh, you'll get one." I responded.
I got changed into his regular gear as Miss Lawrence changed back into her incognito gear. True to her word, Lawrence whipped out her checkbook and wrote out a check for three thousand dollars and handed it to me with a smile on her face. Before she left, I just had one more question to ask.
"If you had knocked me out, were you going to take a victory pose selfie?" I asked.
"Absolutely and when we meet again, there will be a selfie," Lawrence said as she left.
-
Finally the jobber gets revenge. This just gets more interesting with every new post.
-
Jaimie Alexander, hell yes!!
Brilliant work all round. This series is fantastic. Thanks very much for sharing your work. :D
-
*THUD*
That sound you may ask?
The sound of my back hitting a gym mat, albeit a very thin one and the wood underneath the mat. My opponent executed a perfect hip throw and this was the first move of the match. Yeah, I'm screwed and who I am facing?
(https://www.freecatfights.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FYyqKQBq.jpg&hash=269cd0af46d9d199f31d57e2fdd67ea9178ce2cc)
Laura Vandervoort, second degree black belt in Shotokan karate.
The reality of the situation was something much more different. The euphoric high of defeating Jennifer Lawrence was followed by a very brutal and I mean brutal fall to Earth. When my back smashed against that thin blue mat, I felt the euphoric high drained from my body and was now facing the cold and brutal realization that I had brought this upon myself. Dressed in a shirt and yoga pants, ready to pretty much destroy me. Ever since she didn't get the contenders match, she's been bugging my boss for a match. My boss, looking out for my well being tried to hold her off. When I finally said book it, I was relieved. My reaction after my decision began to sink in: Head meet desk, desk meet head about ten times. Leggy opponent who knows how to use her feet and hands to hurt. My cockiness coming off of the Watson and Lawrence victories had done me in a most brutal and cruel way.
I rose back to my feet and the fact that I was slowly rising was not a good sign in my book as I approached her. I tried to grapple with her again, and once again I went went up in the air and hit the mat in a hip throw. Once again, my back hit the mat hard and not since Lawrence was my back hurting this bad. She wasn't even following up with anything, she was just walking to other side of the mat.
Alright, grappling might be out of the question for now, so strike with a striker. I actually put my fists up when I approached her and she actually laughed. I threw a wild shot and she placed one hand around the goozle and used her other arm to hold the swinging arm. She swept my legs out and drove me into the ground. Once again, she just simply walked back to the other side of the mat and waited. I once again rose because one: I'm an idiot and number two: I was getting a nice chunk of change from this.She was once again came near me and I tried a straight take down and it was stuffed. Even better, she hooked my arm, wrenched it out and then punched me right in the heart, followed by a direct knee to the stomach.
This isn't a fight, it's a mugging. A thugging. A drubbing. This isn't Magic vs Jordan, this is when Moses Malone would beat the ever-living crap out of Kareem. She Fights videos are much more competitive than this. I'd rather face Karen Gillan. As I found myself laying on the floor, Vandervoort actually looked bored.
"So...are you any good at this?" She asked
"Only on Tuesdays." I responded as I saw her coming at me.
She grabbed my hair (Note to self: PUT HAIR IN PONYTAIL) and helped me to my feet. She did the same thing as before, wrenching the arm back and driving me into the wall. She went to kick me in the stomach and I actually blocked it! She then hit me with a karate punch to the heart and once again,* it felt like my chest had imploded. She then drove another one right into the chest. Yeah, really reconsidering it, especially the next few sidekicks that she drove into my stomach. I'm pretty sure that my entire chest and stomach are on fire at this point as she seemingly backed up. I began to move forward as she hit a perfect push kick to the chest and that knocked the wind out of me. Of course, I wasn't falling to the floor as she kept me up on the feet by holding me.
"Awww...You wanna fall down?" She whispered into my ear.
Yes.
I was pretty much deciding that I was gonna fall down no matter what. She let go and I fell to the floor in a heap. I slowly got onto all fours when I saw her standing by me. I saw lift her leg in an arc and realized that an Axe Kick was coming and I just barely rolled out of the way. All right, I'm not out of the fight yet. I was back standing and I decided it was time to rally. I approached her cautiously and she threw a kick towards my thigh. It didn't look it had much force, but just a warning shot. The next kick hit the back of my thigh and caused just a nice sting. I kept approaching and she tee'd off again, no time to catch it. She finally hit another one and I went down to one knee. She came towards me and what's the animal word they use when you're faking something? Oh, yeah...
Possum.
She came near and I dove at her, it was a last-ditch dive and I actually got her to the ground in a sloppy-ass takedown. She actually rolled over onto her stomach and I decided to try something new. I began to lock in a full nelson and remembered that I was once the victim of a full nelson camel clutch. I began to arc it up high and I heard her back cracking hard.* She was starting to moan in pain, but I knew she was biting her lip to prevent any screaming. I could feel her trying to wiggle her arms free. After trying to clamp the hold on some more, I felt one arm getting free and decided to wrap my arms around her chin, which hurts like hell. Envision this, putting your jaw in a vice-grip and slowly tightening it.
Hey, her jaw cracked.
There is one problem to the move, it may hurt but it doesn't inflict that much pain. So, once she got her hands in, the move is pretty much rendered useless. I tried to keep it own, but sometimes you need to know better and just let go. As she rose, I quickly clamped on the full nelson and began putting the pressure on. I saw her lift her knee up and just wondered what the hell was she doing.
Stomp.
Stomp.
Stomp.
She was driving the heel of her foot into my foot, specifically the toes, and then reared that head forward and drove it right back and I felt a nasty crunch when it hit. I backed up and WHAM! Right hook right on the jaw which sent me stumbling backwards. Between what surely a broken nose and the small amount of blood trickling from my lips, I decided that it was time to fight dirty. She came right at looking to put me away and I lunged at her. My hope was to grab a hold of her shirt and place it over her head. We're going north of the border, eh. With the shirt over her head, I started throwing hockey punches, aiming to soften up her stomach. They weren't power punches or probably really effective and I may have hit her boob once her twice. I did hear what was music to my ears:
OOF~!
OOF~!
OOF~!
Unfortunately she was starting to blocking more shots so less shots were connecting. So, I moved her over to the wall and moved over to her side. I then cranked up a few knees so that she really couldn't block it. They were effective as she began to realize that this wasn't a cakewalk and this was becoming an honest to goodness fight. The last knee must have hit a soft spot because went down to her knees upon impact. I went to grab her by the hair and Vandervoot put me on my knees with a direct karate strike to the stomach. I was heaving as I saw her taking her shirt off and wrapping it around my throat and choking me with it. Jim Ross would talk about how this match has devolved into a brawl. Can I get him to call my next battle? She even cross the shirt as I desperately grabbed the shirt trying to get it loose. I could feel the oxygen seeping out of my body, pain sensors working triple overtime, just the whole word in her hands. She then maneuvered me to where my back was against the war, which had some good news. No more chokes, but now I dreaded what was coming next. Her stomach was a nice shade of red though, so the punches must have hurt.
I saw her knee swinging and gaining momentum and WHAM! Right into the chest, and I swore to god that I heard a rib break or something break. It was not over as the knee slammed into my chest again and a third time as I felt a serious shortness of breath. I was one all fours, huffing and puffing, trying to get my breathing back to normal. She wasn't done as she placed me against the wall in a kneeling position, pinned my arms and placed her foot on my nerve clusters and pushed down. It was a modified nerve hold as I felt my body beginning to shut down. No last act of defiance this time, no rally at the bottom of the ninth. The oxygen was gone and I fell into the deep, dark world of unconsciousness. All I saw was her grin as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. The last thing I felt was her letting go and the THUD of my body hitting the mat.
-
Awesome as always....crash to earth was inevitable.
-
Part Two: The fall continues....
I don't make house calls, its not my thing really.
And usually I don't agree to partake in fistfights aka no grappling what so ever. The last one I took part in was against Stephanie McMahon and I can do one every few decades.
Fighting Bella Thorne of all celebrities, an insanely fit eighteen year old starlet whose shown a willingness to hide behind The Sisters. It took me three weeks to recover from the Savannah fight and that was just to walk normally. Not to mention any concussive damage I could have suffered after being knocked out in such a small period of time. I have the same amount of mileage on me as a 1957 Chevy Bel Air at this point and I find myself again fighting somebody. My guts says this is Rocky vs Mason Dixon, but my mind tells me this is Apollo Creed vs Ivan Drago.
I'm probably getting my ass kicked.
But I'm taking a piece of her with me.
I arrived and the guard at the gate waved me into a beautiful mansion and was rushed into a spacious living room covered with mats. I found myself changing (Yes, I wore a cup) in an immaculate living room and it felt weird to be quite honest, and it felt like I had the eyes of somebody in the house watching me. Luckily, there would be a set of eyes watching the match when I planted a small hidden camera in the living room. What can I say, I learned from the best. After about thirty minutes, Miss Thorne arrived with a air of smugness engulfing the room. She wore a cocky smile on her face as she wore a hoodie and workout pants. She put her back to me, took off her hoodie and revealed herself to me.
(https://www.freecatfights.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww4.pictures.zimbio.com%2Fmp%2F81wXBHZyFxel.jpg&hash=3b39337f5d27eb3e889d2271510637be04570dd3)
I might be screwed.
I maneuvered my neck back and forth and cracked my knuckles as we approached the center of the room. Bella's smugness was off the charts as she sized me up with a conceited grin on her face.
"I presume you have some type of rules for this affair, Jobberette?" Bella said as she rolled her eyes.
"No rules, only way to win is by knockout," I said dead serious and Bella seemed happy.
Bella smiled as she pushed me with a smile on her face and I blew her off, infuriating her. Bella upped the ante with a stiff slap to my right cheek and I again blew it off. I knew that she was infuriated at this point as I mockingly slapped my left cheek, goading her to slap me. Bella reared back for the mother of all slaps and I buried my fist deep into her toned stomach. I got a good laugh out of her exasperated reaction of her eyes bugged out, mouth wide open gasping for air. One hand was on my shoulder holding her up while the other one was clutching her abdomen. Bella went down to both knees and was showed regret for having the intestinal fortitude to challenge. What I didn't notice was Bella's hand forming into a fist and she slugged me right in the stomach, bringing me down to one knee. Bella grabbed my hair and reared back to headbutt me, but I blocked it with my forearm at the last moment. Bella held head in obvious pain as she stumbled onto her pretty little butt as I got back up. I waited for Bella to get back up as she laid there and seductively kept her legs open with a wicked grin on her face. I knew that she was trying to bait me into something bad and I wasn't buying into it. She finally got back up with a disappointed look on her face.
We once again faced off and it seemed like any pretense of a friendly wrestling match was thrown out the window. Bella got in a boxing stance and threw a straight right that connected on the bridge of the nose. I stumbled backwards and went into a defensive stance as Thorne approached with her fists up. She went for another straight that connected and the next right connected as I stumbled into the wall. At this point, my nose was pretty much numb as Bella did a mock Ali Shuffle. Her overconfidence got the better of her as I dodged the next straight and her hand hit the hard wall. Bella yelled as she held her hand and I saw it was my chance to attack. I grabbed some of her hair and rammed her head right into the wall about three times. Each smash came with a groan from the strawberry blonde as I put her against the wall. I considered smashing that pretty stomach of her's again and making her stomach look the same color as her hair. I probably thought a bit too long as Bella dodged a straight of my own. Thorne fled from the wall, but I was aggressive and I grabbed her arm and smashed my forearm into her lower back. I could see that the blow had a significant effect on Thorne, so I grabbed her in a reverse bearhug and squeezed away. Well, I squeezed as much as I could* until a sharp elbow to the eye caused me to release the hold. Favoring my eye, Thorne slugged me with a right hook, my head snapping to the side. Thorne slugged me in the gut hard as I bent over, holding my stomach as Thorne moved to my left side. I was in a haze at this point as the young fighter drove her knee into my face, the bridge of my nose taking the brunt of the punishment.
I fell to the floor holding my nose in pain as Bella stood at my feet, laughing at the visual of me in pain. However, she was making a mistake slowly walking and I trapped her foot between my ankles and dragged her to the ground. I knew that I couldn't choke her out and saw that her kidneys were prime real estate and I feel bad about kidney punches. Nothing is worse than peeing blood, but than again Bella Thorne stared in Blended and a Madea Halloween film. I slugged away at her kidney and I knew it caused a significant amount of pain as Thorne was full on screaming with every punch. I should have stayed on the attack, but I got dumb and tried to drop an elbow but Thorne moved out of the way. The mats provided little padding and I hit my funny bone and you know the joke already. I recovered enough to see Thorne line me up like a kicker and tag me with a devastating soccer kick, almost knocking me out. Thorne then placed her knee on my stomach as a way to pin me down as she grabbed my hair. I knew what was coming next and could do little to block it and Thorne put a bit of pressure on my stomach. Thorne measured me up and delivered a right hook followed by two right straights, my eyes rolling into the back of my head a few times. I thought Thorne was ready to finish me right there, but she babbled something about making me suffer. Thorne slammed my head into the mats twice and got off me and barked at me to get up.
I got to one knee and decided to play some good old fashion possum and hoped that Bella would take the bait. Being that she is eighteen years old, she indeed took the bait and tried to attack me, so I countered with the Bas Rutten special: Liver punch. My left hand made perfect contact with Bella's liver as the actress screamed in pain, holding her liver as she howled in pain. Yet, somehow the actress didn't go down but it was hilarious seeing her stumble backwards while doubled over. Bella was finally standing upright when I slugged her in the stomach with an uppercut, doubling her over again. Bella again had that blow-up doll look on her face and I whipped her head into the wall with all my strength. Bella bounced off it and stumbled backwards and I was quick to follow as I grabbed her and threw her into the wall, Taker style. I measured Bella up and unleashed with a machine gun turret of punches to the stomach. Every punch came with a groan and at first it was music to my ears but I realized that Bella herself could be playing possum. I took a moment and observed that her belly button was a nice shade of red but I wasn't content to let go. I must have unloaded ten to thirteen punches into the stomach and one final shot* sent Thorne to a seated position, writhing in pain. I went to grab her hair and she suddenly popped to life and tried to low blow me.
Did I tell you I was wearing a cup?
Bella's fist bounced off my protected area (That sounds awful) and I laughed at the starlet as I pulled the starlet up by her hair. She complained about how hard I was tugging her hair as I stood her up, reared her knee back and drove it right into her crotch with no remorse. I could see tears welling up in her eyes and flashes of guilt passed over me as I continued my attack. The sight of Thorne sitting on the floor moaning in pain was great as I contemplated my next move. I put my hand out in a mock way to help her up but she called me every swear word under the sun as she crawled away from me. While the sight of that ass was something to behold, I decided to give that rear a few kicks just for her reaction. I could see Bella trying to get back up as I lightly tussled her hair and a few mock slaps, not inflicting pain but to make her feel down. I backed off as Bella rose with fire in her eyes as she threw wild shots, with no accuracy. I was able to duck and dodge the blows with ease, even taunting her in a mock Muhammad Ali voice. Bella surprised me by throwing a headkick that actually connected but I was able to catch the leg as I lifted her off the ground and slammed her to floor in a modified powerbomb. It took quite a bit of strength and I may have gassed myself out.
Bella bounced off the mats holding her back in pain and the thought ran thought my head: Finish this. I went to grab Bella, but she had some fight left in her as she scurried away to the door. I immediately had reservations about following her with the hunch that The Sisters would be waiting for me. I went to grab her ankle but she kicked me away at she got through the swinging door to the kitchen. I stuck my arm through the door in an insanely stupid decision as the door swung open and slammed down on arm and I screamed in pain. I stumbled through the door as saw Bella, but she wasn't in great shape. She had her hands on the counter, tying to keep herself up as tried to regain feeling in my arm. I believe she was hoping that my hand would have been slammed in the day nullifying my punches. I approached Bella and slugged her in the stomach once more, but she finally nailed that frigging headbutt as I nearly fell onto my ass. Bella*charged at me and tackled me into the kitchen table, the Quebracho wood jamming into my spine. I was in immense pain and I could fell tiny spasms of pain in my back, it didn't help that the table was made of the hardest wood in the world. I could sense it was a desperation move from Bella as she wasn't in any better shape than I was as Bella forced me to sit down on a chair. Bella slugged me with two right hooks as she walked over to the refrigerator and brought out a pitcher of water.* Bella poured the water into the sink and approached me with the pitcher, looking to hit me with it. She swung and it connected, the hard plastic hurt like hell when it bounced off my head as she clotheslined me off the chair, my head bouncing off the floor. Bella stomped all over my body, with no target in-particular, I was doing my best to block the kicks.
Bella managed to get a direct kick to the stomach that opened me up as she mounted me and began throwing wild punches like before. I was doing well in blocking the blows and I saw the pitcher in grabbing distance, so I got a hold of it and whacked her in the head with it. Bella rolled over, holding her head in pain as we were both hurting at this point. We were both crawling for the door in a rare moment of peace, neither of us tried to attack each other, I went first. When I finally got to my feet, Bella was standing and I turned around to see a charging Bella Thorne as the strawberry blond tackled me into the door. Hard enough for the door to fall off the hinges and for it to do little when it came to breaking out fall. I had to appreciate the toughness of the girl to put her body on the line as we both were in immense pain. I took the brunt of the fall and I felt out of it as Bella got up and tried to drag the 125 pounds (Don't laugh) of dead weight that I became. I hate to say it, but I was fast asleep and if it hadn't been hitting a crease on the mat, I would have stayed asleep. I resisted the drag as I got back to one knee and a mini tug of war over my arm. Finally, Bella pulled me forward and clipped me with an absolutely brutal knee to the face that knocked me out. As my lights went out, I could see a fierce Bella Thorne happy to see the lights go out in Kingtown. Yet, it wasn't over for me.
Humiliation time.
I was happily knocked out and sleeping on the uncomfortable mats but I felt my breathing suddenly cut off. I opened my eyes to see Bella on-top of me with her hands over my mouth, her thumbs clasping my nose shut. Once I was fully awake, Bella let me breath again but she unleashed a torrent of slaps to the face. It was humiliating as the sides of my face turned to various shades of red and I went to stop it but I realized....I was frigging tied up. Bella's slaps went for stinging blows to almost playful slaps and that hurts my pride worse than a humdinger of a slap. Bella was giggling at this point as I tried to do anything to get her off me. Bella got off me and struck a victory pose on my stomach and chest flexing her biceps staring down at me, I'm staring a hole through her. It was bad enough but to make things worse, she planted her foot on my face and grinded it in while flexing. Finally, Bella seemed content to stop using my face as a mat, I saw Bella raised her foot high....
And it smashed right into my face, knocking me out upon impact.
Have I fallen to Earth yet?
Sadly, no.
-
Another fantastic addition. Hang in there jobberette, you'll get your mojo back...or not :D either way I'll enjoy reading about it.
-
The Jobber(ette) Who Fell to Earth: Part 3 of 4
In the midst of my super fall from grace, Tori decided to ease my mind and my failing confidence with a few drinks at the office. It was nice and I felt at ease talking to my boss. We started to bullshit about possible dream matches and the drinks made me blurt the celebrity I'd wish to face.
(https://www.freecatfights.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages4.fanpop.com%2Fimage%2Fphotos%2F16100000%2Ftina-fey-tina-fey-16181766-493-339.jpg&hash=54605700f654a6701314c0cd276411320244d36c)
Tina Fey
Trust me, I have no clue why I want to wrestle her, but I think it would be unique and fun for the most part. Maybe that is why I blurted Tina's name out instead of Hayley Atwell my actual dream opponent. Tori laughed at how absurd my dream opponent was the lead actress from the Criterion Classic Baby Mama. Suddenly my boss zoned out and seemed to working something in her head and that is never good. Trust me. That's how I ended up with a broken arm and ended up going down the rabbit hole known as celebrity session wrestling.
A few days later, I had forgotten about the night of debauchery and drinking when I received a text from the boss on my off day.
First observation was that my boss is a forty year old woman who uses emojis. Second observation is that I had no clue what my boss was talking about making one of my dreams come true. So I threw on my best dress shirt, slacks and shoes and drove up to the Hilton Woodland Hills from my place in Reseda. First, I look awful when I have to dress nicely and the lobby of The Hilton is bigger than my tiny apartment and looks about ten times better. I stored my bag at the desk and made my way to the restaurant as I looked woefully out of place. The host, stared at me like a piece of rotted ham as I fumbled at the mouth about meeting "Melina". The host led me to a table and I took a seat sitting across from...
Tina Fey.
Huh.
That's...umm...interesting.
Wearing a tight red dress and those glasses that fueled my crush, I can say that it was awkward for a moment. We both stared at each other for a moment before shaking hands.
"So....are you the girl?" Tina asked in a whisper.
"I am the girl, a girl that is actually surprised that my boss set this up and to a certain extent, and that you agreed to so this. So how much did my boss pay you for this?" I asked as Tina took a big gulp of wine.
"Actually I'm doing this for free. You trying dealing with Chris Kattan and Horatio Sanz, a male dominated environment and finally dealing with an immature brat in Taylor Swift. Mommy needs to let off some steam if you catch my drift." Fey responded.
"Well, I would have pulled a Chris Farley if I had to work with those two and as for Taylor...I can't explain her. I believe she's going to become Michael Myers," I said as Tina chuckled. If I can get one of the funniest women that has graced this Earth to chuckle, I call that a victory.
"So, considering that I've never done something like this, what are the rules?" Tina asked as I tried my best to explain the rules.
"It's simple, I've doing this for a bit against celebrities.* It's a competitive wrestling match so we both go for the win and the first person to submit either verbally or tapping three times is the winner. No punching or kicking and no attacking sensitive areas," I said as Fey looked confused.
"You mean that some celebrities have hit you down there?" Tina asked in a serious voice.
"Yes. Please don't fight dirty," I said in a deadpan voice as Fey visibly squirmed.
"Sounds...terrific...I guess. I have one question. Do I have to wear the glasses? I started wearing contacts a few years ago," Fey asked as I pondered my answer. On one end, she shouldn't have to wear them but the glasses is what drew me to her.
"Tell you what, you wear the glasses and I'll let you put me in the first submission hold of the night," I responded praying that she wasn't a secret BJJ Black Belt or Fedor in a Tina Fey suit.
"Deal," Fey said emphatically as we shook hands. I left the restaurant and planted myself on a comfy chair in the lobby until I got a text from Tina inviting me up to her room. I grabbed my bag from the desk and made it to the room and felt a bit nervous as I knocked on the door and waited for Tina to answer. Tina answered and invited me in with her hair in a bun and wearing a robe as she ushered me into the room and into the bathroom. It wasn't a big room but it had a nice amount of space in it to wrestle and a king sized bed if we wanted to use the bed. I changed into my usual sports bra and shorts, exited the bathroom to see Fey dressed in a blue one piece swimsuit. It wasn't overly sexy but it fit her rather well. And yes, she was wearing the glasses!
"Alright, you said that I was allowed to put you in the first submission so get on the floor," Tina demanded as I laid on the floor.
I saw Fey walking around me and finally stopped at my feet and sat on the floor, grabbing my right leg. Fey wrapped her legs around the right leg and hooked my ankle and began to pull back. It didn't hurt. Fey actually popped my ankle which is great since I'm never able to pop the dang thing. I could see Fey grunting with her eyes closed and finally opened one eyes to see that I was in little to no pain. Fey sighed and begrudgingly let go of the hold as she stood back up.
"DAMMNIT! I watched that Ultimate Cage Fighting show and thought that would work! That black belt from the internet jiu jitsu classes are a sham." A frustrated Fey said as I resisted to laugh.
"Well, it's Ultimate Fighting Championship and anything from the internet whether it's jiu jitsu or a college degree isn't worth the paper it was printed on," I responded. "I'm giving you another freebie and this move is something simple, a basic full nelson. So get behind me, use your arms to encircle mine, secure the neck and push forward with your hands. Got it?" I asked as Fey had a look of an eight year old taking a peek at her sister's algebra homework.
I turned my back to her as she apprehensively approached me and began the arduous process (For her at least) of locking me in the full nelson. Fey fuddled with my arms like a desperate virgin trying to undo a girls bra and I actually helped her lock in the hold. Well until we released that my eight inch height advantage made it almost impossible for her to lock the dang hold in! I could hear her mutter obscenities under her breath as I got down on one knee for Tina to properly lock the hold in. I'll admit, Tina had some torque on the hold and I actually started to feel some pain on my neck. I let out a grunt and Tina took that a signal to up the pressure on my neck, but she got cocky and make the mistake of loosening her grip on the hold. I shocked her and slipped out of the hold and locked my arms around her waist and lifted her high in the air. It was a hoot seeing her legs kicking the air as she demanded that I put her down this instant. I walked her over to the bed and dropped her and stared a hole through me when she got back up. I wore a smug grin on my face and that pissed her off as she stood up, undid her bun* and let out a hellacious war cry as she jumped off the bed at me.
It was a Thesz Press as we crashed onto the floor and rolled around for dominant position. That little minx Fey actually played dirty and was pulling on my hair, so I pulled back! That angered the comedienne and caused to make a mistake that I capitalized on. Fey ended up on all fours as I locked my arms around her waist again and debated what to do next. Fey was squirming and trying to escape so I squeezed a bit but Fey was smart enough to latch a headlock on me as a desperation counter. Fey was able to squeeze since I slipped out right and flattened her out on her stomach. I tried to set up a camel clutch but Fey was savvy to my move and slipped out of the hold and stood back up. This time, Fey jumped onto my back and we went crashing to the scratchy carpet and again found ourselves rolling around. This time, I found myself flat on my back with Fey on top of me as I found myself staring into her glasses. Fey tried a grapevine but I closed up my legs and prevented her for locking the hold in, frustrating the heck out of her. I'll admit that I egged her on a bit so Fey responded with two absolutely brutal slaps to the chest that caused me to painfully yell out. Fey got off automatically as I stood up and held my chest as Fey backed off.
"NO STRIKES DAMMNIT!" I shouted as Fey gave off an apologetic vibe and I wondered what the next door neighbors thought.
"Sorry sorry sorry. Sometimes I do that when I get in the mood, so don't take any offense with that slap and try to knee me in the lady parts or anything like that," Fey said apologetically as I rubbed my chest. I'd been slapped in the chest before, but not that hard. "Listen to make things fair, you slap me in the chest," Fey said looking to extend an olive branch.
"Two slaps?" I asked.
"Sure," Fey responded and I was impressed with her willingness to take two slaps to the chest as she closed her eyes and began to breath heavily tried to psyche herself up for the incoming chopfest. I bent at the knees and unleashed a wicked knife edge chop that lit Fey up and echoed throughout the room. Fey yelled out and held her chest as I backed off.
"Alright, one was good enough," I said worried that the second one knocked her out or John Cena would rush in and kill me dead. Hey, you never know.
"No, hit me with your best- AHHHHHHHHHH! JESUS CHRIST!" Fey said as I cut her with off with a second chop to the chest as the brunette went down clutching her chest. I enjoyed watching her writhe in pain and I walked over to her and extended my hand to help her up. I felt bad but Fey proved to be rather cagey when she grabbed my hand and pulled me down into a headscissors! Well, it was more of a jawscisors and it stung a bit as I grabbed the wrists of Fey and contemplated lifting her off the floor. I went to lift but Fey managed the pull my head forward and locked the scissors around my head and started to squeeze. Fey wasn't much in the leg strength department, but I could be in trouble if she kept the scissors on for an extended period of time. I abandoned the lifting idea and instead pushed forward and managed to escape. I backed up, holding the back of my neck as we restarted in the middle of the room. Fey mas most certainly possessed by the competitive spirit as she dove at my legs with a double leg but I blocked it and locked in a front-facelock with Fey on her knees. Fey didn't much for technique but I could her grunt as she tried to pull her head out and I was surprised that she got her head out and pushed me to the ground. Fey fell into my guard as I began to work a bodyscissors and squeezed the ribs of Fey.
I could see this was a new form of pain for Fey as she squirmed and tried to escape the hold by pushing on my knees. It wasn't working as I tightened the hold as Fey turned her attention to my big toe as she grabbed it and turned in a direction that isn't natural. I finally released the hold out of fear that Fey might break my toe and that seemed to be Fey's strategy and she rolled me onto my stomach. Fey grabbed both legs for a Boston Crab but I was able to free one leg but Fey tightened her grip on the other one and locked in a half crab. I fondly remembered Anna Kendrick destroying my knee and me tapping out mere seconds after the hold was locked in. Fey was pulling back hard and her small stature actually exerted a fair amount of pressure on my back. I groaned as I tried to push myself in the floor in an attempt to get her off, but she was able to stay on me. I blindly tried to grab Fey's hair but she dodged it but I grab one of Fey's ankles and tripped her up, freeing myself of the hold. I put both of my feet above Fey's knees and bent her legs so that they were hooked behind my knees. After playing a game of keep away with her wrists, I managed to get a hold of Fey's wrist and fell backwards into a seated position for a painful Romero Hold. Fey was screaming as she was defenseless in this brutal hold and I was preparing to hear her verbally tap.
Instead, the hold fell apart. I forgot how much work it takes to keep the hold going when I lost my grip on the hold entirely and Fey used me as a crash pad. I could't cry foul but I felt the wind knocked out of me and now Fey was on top of me. Teenage me would be so jealous. We were both in pretty bad shape and I was able to get up first and Fey was quick to follow. I was the aggressor this time as I charged her but Fey sidestepped me and jumped onto my damn back like a spider monkey! Fey locked her legs around my stomach and squeezed as she worked a rear naked choke as I staggered around the room like a drunk. The scissors didn't do much but damn she was getting some good torque on the choke. I was starting to feel a bit woozy and I saw the wall from the back of my eye so instinct kicked in. I thought I could crush Fey against the wall but my brunette opponent blocked it by putting her feet up and pushed herself off the wall. We went forward and I was able to throw Tina off me before I passed off and Fey hit the ground hard on her hip. Fey groaned and I even groaned as the sound of her right hip hitting the floor.
I was rubbing my throat because it felt like I was swallowing a box of nails with a sandpaper chaser. Fey was on one knee, favoring her hip when I went to pick her up by her hair when she tossed me onto the bed in a stalling tactic. Fey was finally walking upright as I stood up on the bed and prepared to dive at her payback for the Thesz Press earlier. I dove and Tina absolutely destroyed my mouth when with a forearm, but it was unintentional. I hit the floor holding my mouth in pain and felt the salty taste of blood in my mouth. Fey apologized and tried to help me up but I waved her off as I got back up and motioned with my hands to come at her. Fey came at me as I stumbled backwards, still a bit dazed from the blow. Fey stopped again but this time I came out with a takedown that I completely whiffed. Fey took advantage by crossing my legs and putting her weight on them and grabbing my arms for a modified surfboard. Luckily, my back cracked from top to bottom, the bad news was that my lower back was being pulled up at a bad angle. The pain down there was awful as Fey decided to abandon the hold and instead sat on my back for a brutal camel clutch. With my back being bent upwards at a ninety degree angle, the pain down there was unbearable and Fey covering my mouth didn't help. Just as I seemed to rally and figured out an escape, she hooked my arms in Full Nelson!
Shit.
I hate that move. Utterly defenseless as Fey pushed down on my neck while continuing to make regret that I goofed off in high school geometry. I was full on screaming in this hold mixed with groaning as I noticed my elbow was on her right hip as I slowly pushed down on the hip and I could see Fey bit on her lower lip in an attempt to block out the pain. I felt bad as I began to grind my elbow into her hip but she finally yelled out in pain and let go of the hold as I crawled out from underneath her. I could see that Fey was pissed off when she charged at me like a wild woman and I scooped her up and slammed her on the bed. It didn't do much damage but it shocked the hell out of her. I got up on the bed and Fey was slow to rise, we'd been going at it for about twenty five minutes at this point. I was starting to fade and I knew that Fey was starting to fade. Fey actually used the bed to jump up and try to take me down but I caught her legs and tried for a Sharpshooter. Fey grabbed my ankle and pulled me to the floor and we ended up in a jumbled mess. I ended up on top but I felt my gas tank on empty and when it's empty, you can't refill it no matter what. Fey wasn't much better as desperately tried to get up front underneath me but my weight kept her pinned down. The breathing was heavy as I tried to roll Tina onto her stomach but she slipped out at the last moment and caught me by surprise by taking my back.
Our movement was like we were walking in cement as Fey hooked her arm around my throat and begin to pull upwards in a painful modified dragon sleeper. This was unbearable since I was pinned down to the floor by Fey's weight topped with my neck being wrenched backwards. I considered tapping but I slowly worked towards pushing myself up in an "Oh shit" look on Tina's face. I don't know what it was but at this point, but failure wasn't an option, the competitive nature of this match was at peak levels. I eventually freed my head from Tina's hold and found myself on all fours with Fey standing above me on the bed. I could sense that Fey was preparing to drop her weight on my back after Lawrence did it to me and I knew it was lead to another Full Nelson Camel Clutch. Right as Fey dropped her weight, I moved backwards and Fey hit her ass on the bed. I managed to snag a figure four head scissors on Fey and pulled back on my foot to up the pressure. Fey was groaning as she tried to undo the hold but she had me on my side and ready to roll me over when I closed any hope of reversal by moving onto my back again. However, I felt my leg cramp up in what is sure to be this year's Bad Timing Award and I found myself releasing the hold sadly. Fey jumped on my moment of weakness and locked me in a violent rear naked choke. I don't how she learned how to do the hold but it was in tight and in a matter or moments, I was passing out. Fey seemed to be absolutely horrified by what happened as I was as limp and cold as a wet fish. I regained consciousness and did my best to assure Tina that she didn't kill me or give me brain damage.
-
The Jobber(ette) Who Fell to Earth: Part 4 of 4
Who in the hell was Milana Vayntrub?
The AT&T Girl?
(https://www.freecatfights.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Ft794FU0.jpg&hash=708a0a68ba8dcebccdabafa66618f1993b8ac338)
Hot damn.
According to Tori, this would be the type of session that I would need at this point. An easy one, especially after his previous two sessions and the one coming up. This session however, wasn't even supposed to be competitive. In fact, the actress wanted to be taught some holds and that would be that. It seemed to be a simple concept: Teach her some holds, let her do said holds, and done. Easy payday.
And the why the hell was this taking place at a frigging Radisson?
I fought Lawrence at the frigging Ritz Carlton!
Twice!
Once I found out that she was less of a starlet and more of a television actress known for commercials with her own Reddit page did things started to fall into place. Still, the pictures that Google had provided: Nice hips, posterior, and bust made the accommodation situation a bit better. When I arrived, I already found Miss Vayntrub there. What he also found was not the greatest bedroom set-up, two queen size beds, a small table and not much room for fighting. I looked at the two beds with a rather perplexed look on my face. Vayntrub walked up to me with a reassuring smile. She was already in lesson girl: Pink t-shirt and blue gym shorts, which didn't show off her figure and then of course, the gear came off. It was a tight purple one piece bikini that showed offer a rather killer body: Nice set of breasts, nice wide hips/thighs and most of all, a rotund ass.
Alright, something feels off.
"Something wrong?"
"Not exactly the greatest set-up for something like this. I hate to ask, but was a suite ever considered? A large open area is usually best for something like this. Hate to come off like a dick."
"Yeah...I'm not Jennifer Lawrence, so a high class suite is out of my budget."
"Well, I've never taken part in this type of session, what do you mean by "wrestling lesson?"
"I didn't want a full on session, and a friend of mine did this type of thing last year and really liked it. She contacted your boss and she sent a girl over surprisingly."
Huh?
I nodded and went about making the room something that could resemble a fight area. The nightstand between the two beds was moved to the bathroom and the two beds became the fight area. I changed into a sports bra and shorts and got on the bed with Miss Vayntrub. After that, it was a minute or so of awkward silence. Neither person knew what to do, so I decided to break the silence with a hammer.....lock.
"How about something basic like a hammerlock?"
"Sure!"
I moved behind Vayntrub and begin to manipulate the arm until Vayntrub hit me with a swift elbow to the nose. I automatically let got of Vayntrub's arm and backed off as Vayntrub back away and hit a perfect spinning back kick, her foot burying deep into my midsection. The Jobber went to one knee, but* Vayntrub wasn't content to let The Jobber recover.* Vayntrub grabbed my hair, brought my face up and drove her knee straight into my jaw. I crumpled to the mattress, holding my jaw in pain. The sound of knee on jaw had caused a large pop throughout the room. I was unsurprisingly down and out, Vayntrub jumped up in the air (mattress assisted) and brought her ass down in a senton straight onto my stomach. My legs shot up almost comically as a series of coughs and wheezes came out of my mouth. Vayntrub stood above my prone body, as I was trying to rise but the opening blitzkrieg was making it difficult for that to occur. Miss Vayntrub was not a fan of my slow rise, and in my mind, I'm trying to stall for time.
"Alright, tired of waiting."
Vayntrub dragged me to the edge of the bed, got off and then locked in a standing head scissors as I did all I could to try and mount an escape. With the ankles crossed, adding pressure, I felt the sides of his neck being slowly crushed between the thighs of Vayntrub. I did get a nice view of Vayntrub's rear as she bent over, to only drive a few well-placed shots to the stomach. I seriously considered tapping out, but he then realized that would do diddly squat for his predicament. Finally, Vayntrub let go and once again moved me to the center of the mattress, and then dropped her hip right across my face, pretty much knocking him out on impact. Of course, this wasn't the end of "The Wrestling Lesson", Vayntrub waited for a solid minute before launching yet another assault on my knocked out self. With a sore jaw, neck, and stomach, you might wonder what area of the human body Vayntrub might target next!
That pesky arm?
Nope.
Vayntrub rolled me on my stomach, stood over me and then kicked her legs out, landing ass first on my lower back with all her weight. I snapped out of my slumber immediately as I shot up in the air and screaming in pain. To give you some context: Imagine having your finger bent backwards. Vayntrub then stood up and looked down at whose body was twisted and wrecked, smiled and then dropped a splash on me. Going on instinct, I put both knees up as Vayntrub let out a large "DAMMIT" as she rolled over, holding her stomach. Her legs kicking up in the air, Vayntrub was heaving and huffing as I knew that this was his chance to get some offense in. I was on all fours, but Vayntrub was already recovered as she stood in-front of me and launched a kick to The Jobber's jaw. Once again, I found my on my stomach as Vayntrub rolled me over and sat on my back. Vayntrub put some weight on the back, just to incite some pain. Then, came the real kick to the face as she grabbed my arms into a full nelson, holding me head high in the air.
The dreaded Full Nelson Camel Clutch.
Vayntrub slowly lifted me off the ground, adding to the pain of having his arms ripped backwards along with his having back bent. I screamed out in pain, and my plight. Finally, my head finally fell as my eyes fluttered shut as Vayntrub released the hold as my head bounced off the mattress. Vayntrub walked off the bed, grabbed her phone that was tucked away in her bag, presumably to take pictures of a knocked out girl. Or god forbid, whoever recommended her to do this.
But she didn't notice that I was waking back up.
I wasn't paying possum as much as he was away and enjoying the view of a bent over Vayntrub. After fighting the female drunken lovechild of Vader and Goro in Vandervoort, this was a rather pleasant moment. Plus ten points for it being a one-piece swimsuit with a thong. Better than old lumpy butt Tori. When Vayntrub turned around, I put my head down and continued to play dead as Vayntrub sat at the edge of the bed and fiddled with her phone. Does she get free phone service from AT&T? I continued to play dead even as Vayntrub approached me, but Vayntrub must have known something was up when she quickly pounced on me. I once again got my knees up, and the right knee grazed the chin of Vayntrub. Vayntrub held her chin in pain as I got back up, cracked my back and neck and was ready to go to work.
"Miss Vayntrub, time for the wrestling lesson."
I grabbed Vayntrub by the hair and actually put her in an actually hammerlock and began to crank on the arm. Vayntrub tried to escape, but I brought Vayntrub down to her knees and locked her in a dragon sleeper/body scissors combo and began to squeeze away at Vayntrub's stomach. Vayntrub was moaning and trying to claw at my arm, trying to undo the vice like grip around her throat.I was happy to see Vayntrub scrambling and decided to impart his first lesson upon Vayntrub.
"You see, this move was taught to me by my boss and it's a helluva move, isn't it? Sure, having my arm around your throat hurts, but it's the body scissors that is sucking the air out from you."
I finally let go of the dragon sleeper as Vayntrub started to wheeze, but her airflow was cut off but the body scissors. I increased the pressure as Vayntrub began to panic and I finally relented and let go as Vayntrub rolled over as I grabbed the arm of Vayntrub and locking in a Fujiwara Armbar.
"Another move my boss taught me, an old school shoot-style hold. Of course, the funny thing is, she always arched the arm a bit too high, making it easy to escape."
I didn't arch the arm high, keeping the arm and body low to the mattress. Vayntrub squirmed around, trying to slip out from underneath from my grip. I then let go, but kept Vayntrub pinned to the ground, locked one arm in-between my legs and lifted the arm I had already worked over high in the air with both hands. Not only does it hurt the arms, but it increases the pressure on her shoulder joints. Another amateur wrestling style move that made it into the fake stuff. Vayntrub was being to scream in pain...
"You know, the people at this motel must think we're shooting some pretty fucked up porno."
"Trust me, just wait for the looks on their faces when one of us leaves. Miss Vayntrub, I do like you and I seriously wish that this sessions would've been an easy one. Now, you said this was recommended by a friend, I presume this to be a celebrity?"
Nothing, so The Jobber pulled back on the arm some more, causing more screams.
"Alright, I can keep you in this hold all night long and I really don't want to. I like you better than Fake Wendy, that lady can burn in hell."
"Fine, it was Anna Kendrick. She did one of these against some girl last year and she got creamed."
I had let go of the hold as Vayntrub tended to her hurt arms, as I made the rare mistake of feeling my mercy for my poor opponent. Vayntrub pounced on my distracted self, tackling me to the mat and mounting her shocked opponent, choking me, as I immediately tried to loose the grip. Vayntrub had a crazed look on her face, as I almost started to fade in and out of consciousness but I was able to get Vayntrub off me. Vayntrub raked his back a few times and held him down as she hit a swift leg drop to the back. Vayntrub tried once again for the dreaded Full Nelson Camel Clutch, but I was able to slip out of it and was able to get back up. Vayntrub followed again and tackled me off the mattresses as we crashed to the floor below. Vayntrub landed on her side, hurting her arm, but I took the brunt of the punishment on my back and hitting my head on the wood dresser. Not only that, but I found himself almost trapped between the dresser and the bed. Vayntrub took advantage of my situation, hitting another butt drop on my stomach which caused me to groan, so Vayntrub hit another one followed by putting her foot on my throat. I was once again fading in and out of consciousness, but I managed to get Vayntrub's off by clawing at her calf.
I knew that he needed to get the momentum back, but Vayntrub had over ideas, locking in a side body scissors taking advantage of my current predicament. I tried to do everything in his power to get out, but Vayntrub had the scissors in tight as I felt immense rib pain as I resorted to elbowing the side of Vayntrub's ankle to try and loosen the hold. Finally, I resorted to a hail Mary punch to the stomach. It was a rocket fueled punch that connected deep in the abdomen of Vayntrub, who released the hold right away. I went about getting myself of his current predicament, finally standing up and Vayntrub was back up too. Vayntrub charged at me again and I saw out of the back of my eye he was heading straight for the small table in the corner of the room. I braced for impact and my lower back smashed into table, causing him to scream in pain. Vayntrub tried to smash my head into the table, but I prevented it by hitting Vayntrub in the stomach with an elbow. Vayntrub doubled over, which gave me an opening to lock her in a hellacious bear hug, trying to squeeze the air out of Vayntrub. Vayntrub grimaced in pain, but even The Jobber could see that she was beginning to succumb to the hold. Vayntrub suddenly smacked both of my eras, breaking the hold and screwing up my equilibrium as I staggered around the room. Vayntrub jumped on my back and brought me to the ground, trapping me between the dresser and bed. Vayntrub placed her bare foot on my throat and began to press down on my larynx as I slowly faded to black, trapped and unable to fight back. Vayntrub seemed giddy as went to one knee and posed over my knocked out body.
I finally crashed to Earth as a beaten and bruised fighter....
And Carla Gugino is waiting for me as my welcome party.
Great.
-
I finally got caught up. Two more great posts. I was really hoping she'd beat Fey...she really annoys me, lol.
-
(OOC: Just a warning, the Match is short but intense. Enjoy)
I'm in a haze right now.
I received a text from Tori telling me to meet her at the office and my mind thought about a saying that my grandpa was fond of: Hope for the best, expect the worst. I figured after the losses to the AT&T Girl and Tina Fey, Tori would drop me like a bad habit and I'd be replaced immediately. I arrived at the office and my body language screamed trepidation when she sat me down. Instead, she explained that I was doing a great job in my role and wanted me to take the job full time. I took the job. I need the money and waking the morning after my sessions may be painful but the money is damn good. Much better than being a starving artist on the independent scene. The boss did have some bad news for me...I was facing Carla Gugino. Tori explained that I wasn't the first "Hollywood Jobber" but the sixth one since she started doing this in the early 2000's. Tori struggled early since most celebrities were of the B-list variety but she did some stunt work for Gugino and that opened the door to Hollywood's elite. Gugino wanted tribute however and demanded a match against every jobber that Tori employs. The scary thing about the matches is that Gugino ends the match when she wants to end it. If you tap out or get knocked out, you better hope Gugino is feeling merciful that day and decides to let you off the hook. She will kick, punch, knee, elbow, maul and pound you into the ground until she locks you in the Gugino Clutch. Visualize a camel clutch which is already painful but imagine that while she pulls back she's twisting you neck and trying to pop your head off like a champagne cork.
I wasn't thrilled about the idea of my boss being the pied piper and leading her employees to their demise. Gugino has decided to turn the encounters into a dinner party with drinks, a full meal and subjecting Tori and her next victim to a video of Gugino's last match. I was dressed decently and nervous as we made the trek to Gugino's house. We arrived and...WHY IS ALEXANDRA DADDARIO GREETING US? Daddario lead us to Gugino who greetes us warmly and treated me like I was some old friend. Some old friend that she was going to beat the absolute shit out of in a few hours. I was cordial but kept my distance as I felt like Sally Hardesty during the dinner scene at the Sawyer house back in 1974 on the inside. Daddario was Gugino's second for the match as Gugino tried to loosen me up when we sat down for drinks, but I refused to budge. I could see that Tori was uncomfortable and I felt bad for her knowing she had to do this every time. We sat down for dinner and feasted on some god awful fish known as sand dabs with some grain I never heard of. I sat across from Gugino who did nothing but stare at me and ask probing questions about my past in an attempt to play mind-games with me. Needless to say, I didn't eat much.
We then sat down for movie time as we watched Gugino's last match. Let me tell you something, watching a video of two women fighting in a large room is weird. All you heard was the grunts, groans, moans, screams and flesh being hit. Imagine Bane vs Batman but fetish-ized. I took this is an opportunity to scout my opponent and realized that I was screwed. The last girl that represented Tori put up one helluva fight for forty-five minutes giving Gugino all she could handle. Gugino was able to outlast until the gas-tank in her poor opponent went empty and then Gugino went to town on her. Just fifteen minutes of punishment and Gugino must have felt benevolent that day and ended it when the girl passed out. I asked Tori about the girl's name and she told me her name was Molly. Once the festivities were over, I was ushered to the basement and told to change. There was a "ring" down there but it was barely a ring. The circle was indeed a square and on a platform but the posts were stubby and made of wood. There was about nine of them....is that Goro's ring from the Mortal Kombat movie?
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Kkxha0JmQ5Y/maxresdefault.jpg)
Jesus Christ...IT IS! DID SHE BUY IT JUST FOR THIS MATCH? She had it painted! And added a second sagging rope! What the hell has Tori gotten me into?
WHAT DID I SIGN UP FOR? I did fetish wrestling videos and the occasional foot fetish video (I'm not proud of it) but this is the most fucked up thing I've ever done. My stomach was in knots as I looked around the basement, wondering if I could go back to my old job as a starving indy wrestler. I was dressed in those grey Calvin Klein sports bra/underwear set that seems to be all the rage on Instragram at Carla's behest. Tori did her best to calm me down as I warmed up. I felt exposed wearing the combo but they were comfortable as Gugino made her grandiose entrance followed by Daddario. Gugino was wearing a robe and discarded it to reveal....
(https://giant.gfycat.com/PersonalDearIberianmidwifetoad.gif)
Sweet Jesus.
A ref entered (?!?!) the ring and I wondered how big of an NDA he had to sign or if he had any ref experience or was just a hobo. The nonexistent bell rang as Gugino stood in the middle of the ring, taunting me. I was circling and even doing a half-circle around my opponent. I tried to engage in a basic lock-up but it was quickly broken as I backed off, trying to formulate a game plan in my head. I tried again and Gugino was ready as she easily forced me into a corner and pushed my head back and grinded the palm of her hand in my nose. It was an irritant and served as a distraction as Gugino cuffed me across the left ear sending me to one knee. Gugino backed up and taunted me some more as I felt this strange ringing in that ear. I got out of the corner and continued to half-circle around Gugino who was clearly having a great time. I then stupidly tried to lock up with her again and I was driven into the corner. Gugino grabbed my hair and unloaded with a short punch to the sternum taking my breath away from me. Gugino quickly followed that up with another shot to the left ear as I went back down to one knee, slowly getting my breath back. Gugino backed up and taunted Tori (Who looked like she at a funeral) and then spat at me which pissed me the hell off.
So I double legged her to hell and started throwing punches like a wild man. Tori perked up and even cheered as Gugino covered up but some punches connected as Gugino grunted. I eventually stood over and just started to slap the crap out of her as Daddario had a genuine look of concern on her face. I stood over Gugino and dropped my weight on her and slapped her again before she escaped my wrath. Gugino got up and stumbled to the corner as I followed her and was a bit overzealous in my pursuit as Gugino sidestepped me and grabbed my hair pulling it hard. I yelped in pain as Gugino controlled me and I damned myself for not putting it in a ponytail. Gugino must have went to the Katy Perry School of Fighting as she drilled me in the lower back with a forearm. My lower back was in a searing pain as Gugino kept her grip on my hair. Gugino threw me and I skidded across the ring and hit one of the damn posts chest first. I thought it would be easily breakable wood like balsa but I was wrong, I took some hard wood to the chest and was wheezing. I was slowly back up, clutching my chest and noticed that Gugino wore a wicked smile more wicked than I've ever seen as she walked over to me. Gugino grabbed my hair again and pushed my throat against the rope in an obvious attempt to murder me. As my life flashed before my eyes and I really regretted seven minutes in heaven with Bobby Jones in junior year of high school, the ref finally intervened and forced Carla to break the hold. I was gagging worse than a drunk frat boy downing his first beer bong as Gugino went right back to the hair, but I broke her grip and charged for another takedown.
I walked into another vicious punch to the ear and I stumbled out of the ring. My equilibrium was off and I could see Daddario eyeing me up, slowly walking towards me. Tori cut her off as the large chested actress backed away and Gugino seemed to enjoy the little scene. I had one knee on the apron when Gugino pounced cuffing my left eardrum once again sending me to the floor and stupid old me got right back up on the apron and Gugino was waiting for me with another ear-shattering punch. I was in serious trouble as Tori approached me about calling the match off but I refused to give in and pushed her away. I got back on the apron and as Carla approached, I grabbed her and stepped off the apron sending her throat first into the apron. Gugino stumbled backward heaving for air as I slid back in and charged her again. I pushed Gugino against the ropes and just throwing punches and forearms and slaps, not many connecting but enough to hurt her. Gugino pushed me off and was trying to get away when I grabbed her by the hair and got some payback as I sent her across the ring. Gugino lost her foot and went skidding to floor and into the corner, hitting the post on her right side, right on the liver.
Gugino let out a hellacious scream in an any other situation I'd be sympathetic to her plight but this wasn't the time. I got her up her grabbing her arm and took her to the middle of the ring but that little devil raked me in the eyes. I put my hands on my eyes leaving my body exposed for a swift knee to the stomach, doubling me over. I was short on air as Gugino pushed me into the ropes and they did little to hold me up. Gugino teed off with a uppercut to the jaw that saw my head snap backwards quickly and followed that up with another knee. I let out a groan and was barely standing when I saw Gugino stepping backwards and charging at me. Gugino ran right a forearm to her pearly whites that sent her backwards as I grabbed her in a clinch. I tried of and of course failed to complete a judo throw and I landed flat on my stomach with Gugino straddling me. I automatically went into defense mode for the clutch but Gugino grabbed my previously broken arm and went to work. She spread that arm, held it down and dropped her fucking knee right across the elbow as I howled in pain. Gugino grabbed my wrist and bent my arm upwards in a cruel submission hold and I could do little to break the hold. Gugino put both knees on the bad arm holding me in place as she lifted my head off the mat and rattled my teeth with a slap to my left cheek. Then two more to the left cheek followed as I could see Tori cringe and wince at what she was seeing. Gugino went for the clutch and I quickly escaped and stumbled back to my feet.
Gugino was in pursuit mode and I desperately needed some time to recover so I tried to evade her but she shoved me against the ropes and lit my chin up with a forearm as I went to both knees. Gugino grabbed my hair and dragged me to one knee and then headbutted the crap out of me, the sound of our skulls colliding filled the room. I went down like a sack of potatoes as Gugino again grabbed my hair and violently dragged me to my feet. I was on dream street when *THAWP* another slap put me down and Gugino went down to one knee over my beaten body. From there, she just paint-brushed me with slaps and started with the punches as I desperately tried to cover up at this point. The ref, feeling sympathetic to my cause tried to restrain Gugino but she was having none of that shit and pushed him aside. Gugino continued to work me over with slaps and punches as the sounds of hands hitting flesh made the room feel uncomfortable. Alexandra contemplated intervening and I could see Tori clutching a white towel as I tried to roll onto my stomach. Gugino lit my back up with a soccer kick which brought me back to Earth as she proceed to kick at my head. The ref successfully intervened as he placed himself in-front of me as I got back up to one knee before falling onto the bottom rope. Tori darted to me with a concerned look but I pushed her away as I failed to get back up. The ref was standing in-front of Gugino with his hands on the ropes using himself as a human blockade as I slowly got back up. My nose was bloody and was so was my lip as I took the center of the ring as Gugino pushed her way past the ref. I throw a hay-maker that she easily dodged and followed that up with another one that saw me fall flat on my face. I tried to get back up but Gugino placed her foot on the middle of my back and pushed me back to the ground.
Gugino made sure that I was facing Tori when she sat on my back lifted my head up and like a crazed serial killer caressed the sides of my face. I then heard two words that will forever send chills down my spine as she looked over to Alexandra.
"Hold her," Gugino said to her brunette apprentice as Daddario rushed my boss and ran her against the metal apron. My boss lost her breath as Daddario hooked her arms and forced her to watch me being subjected to this hold. My boss screamed a word I couldn't say in-front of my mother as Gugino twisted my neck to the side and jerked it off the ground for the Gugino Clutch. Every time, every frigging time I think that I've felt the worst pain ever, some frigging celebrity invents a move that hurts worse than the last one. Besides the fact that my back felt like it was snapping like a handful of uncooked spaghetti, my neck was being twisted an unnatural and brutal angle. Gugino seemed to crank up the hold as I refused to scream but I could feel a tear r two well up. I was fading in and out desperately trying to escape but I couldn't muster the energy. Tori was still trying to break free but at one point, she just stopped and put her head down she knew what was coming. Gugino smiled and Daddario laughed back as escape was unlikely until I got one knee up and the laughing stopped and the smiles disappeared. Gugino still had the hold in-place but she was loosing her grip on my neck as I MANAGED TO GET THAT SECOND FUCKING KNEE UP. Tori's head shot up with a smile as I desperately tried to stand up to only fall back down as Gugino intensified the grip on her hold. I let out with the screams which delighted my tormentor and her friend but she got cocky and eased up on the hold, giving me that one small opening to get my knee back up. This time, I was running on adrenaline as the second knee went up as the pain faded away as I stood up with my rival on my back.
Gugino quickly changed to a sleeper hold and locked in a body scissors as I stumbled around the ring and out of the corner of my eye...I saw a post. With all my might I walked backwards and crushed her against the post and sadly the ref got in our way and he too was crushed by our weight. Gugino was in the corner went I got back to one knee before she grabbed my hair again and I responded with a wicked punch to the liver that nearly put her down. The ropes were keeping her up as she moaned as I lit up that vagus nerve with a series of punches to the liver. Gugino could only moan and finally covered her body up as I lit her up with a series of forearms. Gugino pushed me away and escaped the corner but I dived at her ankles and took her to the ground and continued to attack her with punches and shots to the liver. Gugino again escaped as we just stood up and started throwing bombs at each-other. The ref got back up and tried to break up the fight but Gugino pie-faced him to the floor which gave me an opening to double leg her again. I was on top of her and just started to throw punches at will, some connecting and other's hitting her wrist as she reversed me and was now on-top throwing punches of her own. This became about one fighter obtaining personal domination over the other one as we tussled around the mat. This wasn't something meant to titillate, this was two fighters refusing to give an inch to the other. The ref tried to regain some order but finally threw his hands up and called the match off?!?????!?!?!?!
WHAT THE HELL? We both seemed shocked as he motioned for Tori and Daddario to get in the ring to break up the fight. They did so as they managed to get the two of us back to our corners, we were still trash talking each other like crazy. Gugino barked at her underling to move and I pushed Tori out of the way as we again went to the floor throwing wild strikes but Gugino managed to stand up as engaged in a bit of hockey fighting before it was broken up again by the ref and our second's. Tori was had her arms around my waist as she dragged me to the corner and...and...I might have punched her in the face. Gugino did something worse in my defense by throwing Daddario to the outside. Gugino dove at me but she slipped and I managed to snag a front face lock as I cranked away and pancaked her to the mat. I could feel Gugino going out in my arms until I felt my hair being pulled,she even pressed her fingers on my eyes and hooked to get me off Gugino before successfully pulling me off. Gugino was unconscious as Daddario ran into the ring and looked ready to face off as she began to cracking her knuckles and unbutton her shirt. I saw Tori smile with a certain carnal look in her face that I hadn't seen since her fetish wrestling days. If Daddario tries something, it'll end bad for her.
"Little girl, I would button that shirt back up if you know what is best for you," Tori said sharply as Daddario backed up and tried to revive Gugino. Tori helped me up and back upstairs as I plopped down in a spare bedroom, sapped of energy and body hurting all over. I throw some clothes back on with the assistance of Tori and she had to help me to her car.
"I won that godddamn fight," I said woozy as I plopped down on the comfortable leather seat. I stared at her with a look that dared her to disagree.
"Hey, I'm not disagreeing with you on that one," Tori said with a smile.
-
Good job, jobber....I enjoyed that one immensely.
-
I'll be honest, I am not ready for this match-up against Brie. It's my fault, to be quite honest. I'm not in any shape to fight after the war with Gugino. That was two days ago but Tori needed me on short notice to take the fight. Like the loyal trooper I am, I took some Advil, drank same Gatorade and ate my Wheaties. Tori had arranged for a match after this against Stephanie McMahon, who believe it or not was responsible for breaking my arm. It's a long story but she started to fight dirty, so I fought dirty and it ended my arm being snapped. My plan for this one was simple, go for the knockout and get it EARLY. Hit her right off the bat, lock in a sleeper and send her off to sleep. I had no idea what type of fighter that Brie was so I bought a cup to protect myself just in case. This wasn't Gugino or even a Vandervoort, this was some comedy star who was looking for an easy victory. I had my cup, it was a suite fight and I'm not go-
OOH MINI BAR!
I promptly lost my train of concentration when I saw that little refrigerator filled to the brim with over-priced food. I immediately saw a jar of peanuts (MSRP $7.99) and began to snack. Hey, she can pay for those little things, and most of all, I'm getting an energy boost! While chomping down, I didn't hear the footsteps behind me, nor the visual of two hands being raised in the air as Brie was right behind me.
What can I say? I'm a loud chewer.
WHAM!
Double chops to the neck and I just crumpled to the ground, along with the peanuts. I saw Brie walk in-front of me, with a look of disdain on her face. She was wearing nothing super revealing, a tight t-shirt and leggings, something that different from the usual attire of sports or in the case of Lawrence a distracting bikini.
"Hope those peanuts are worth the beating I'm about to inflict."
She then launched a boot to the temple that just knocked me the heck out, and I was flat out on my stomach. I did notice however, her nails were sharp and I automatically had visions of being raked almost anywhere that would cause imminent pain. At-least I was smart enough to wear the cup.
At least it was a quick loss.
*Feels water being poured on his face*
Why is Brie holding my cup?
"Wakey wakey, hands off the snakey. I can't believe you tried to cheat by using a cup. I'm not like all those all other brat, I would never attack the sensitive area of a male opponent! However, if you try anything with my sensitive area, I will maul your sensitive area till it resembles an Arby's sandwich! Okies?"
Seems fair, I guess.
By the time I wondered why she had called me a Dust Bowl era Oklahoma resident, she had mounted me and trapped my hands with her knees. I saw those nails come out and was then confused when she caressed both sides of my face, and then raked the hell out of both sides of my face, not enough to draw blood luckily. I growled in response but that only drew laughter and glee from her. She then let loose with four of five stiff slaps to the face, once again not hurting but just enough to sting. She stopped, but grabbed my shirt and dragged it down, revealing a part of my chest. Another rake of my chest, another growl and this time she really dug it in. She drew blood and was almost apprehensive, but decided to hit me with three open hand chops and those actually hurt like hell. I began to struggle since I realized she was out to humiliate me and I only humiliate myself.
"You want off? You silly goose, all you had to was ask!"
"Will you please let me up?"
".....No"
A stiff backhand to the face followed as I saw that she was having fun, controlling me with such ease. Her grin was large, those blue eyes were staring straight into mine, and her hands were on her hips as I seriously realized I was at her mercy. Some playful slaps followed as I more or less gave up at this point. She went for one more slap, but she put her hand down and looked shocked.
"Alright, if you're not going to try and escape, then I'm gonna let you up."
She rolled off to my side, and then promptly raised her leg and brought her heel down into my stomach. My legs went up in the air as the breath left my body.
"Parting gift."
Crappy gift.
I saw her walk near the bed and comically put her fists up towards me, and bouncing back and forth. While the second visual was great, even got me mildly aroused, I knew what she was doing. Bait me into doing something stupid and I charged at her. You remember Mortal Kombat? Specifically how Johnny Cage would do the splits and punch somebody in the junk? Well, I was the victim of that and sure as shit, my lady parts felt like they exploded. I didn't fall to the floor, so that gave Brie a chance to grab my hair and size me up. At this point, I had realized my mistake and that was letting her get into my head. Brie had a cocky look on her face as her hand changed from chop to fist and even those nails come out. Brie was making a game of it until she poked me in the eyes out of nowhere blinded me. What is this, the Three Stooges? I stumbled around holding my eye as Brie laughed at my predicament even moving close to me making me swing wildly at the air out of instinct. I stumbled into a brutal knee to the chest that felt like a dang rib breaking as I crumbled to the floor, wheezing like a person whose been smoking for twenty years. Brie skipped around my body before sitting on my stomach and trying to smother me with her feet. This is Brie just rubbing salt in the wound but I need to find that shade nail polish that Brie used on her toenails. After hearing my muffled groans fill the room, Brie was content hearing my pained cries so she got off me and dragged to my both knees using my hair. I should just go bald.
"You know, I'm trying to figure out what I should hit you with, got any suggestions?"
"No, but I have a bit of advice, you forgot to neutralize the hands!"
I then threw a wicked forearm to the diaphragm (Thanks Carol/Crystal/Cheryl) as Brie let go and surprisingly enough fell to the floor. Brie started to cough and then I realized that she probably didn't expect this to happen. I stood back up and saw her face was even turning a shade of red as the coughing became really hoarse.
That's when I realized something, she can throw the punches, but she sure as shit can't take them.
"Aww..little Alison didn't expect me to hit back? Well, time for a lesson in what I do best."
I knew that with one blow, I had my opening as I grabbed her by the ponytail and got her standing. She was still coughing and gagging even, her hands still clutching her stomach. The redness in her face was gone, but I had finally decided my next move. I scooped her up, walked her towards the bed and then walked away from the bed.
"Trust me, we be playing on the bed soon."
I lifted her high above her head, went down to one knee and her back came crashing across my knee. It wasn't a Bane Breaker or even The Brie Breaker, I still heard her back crack in a few spots as I pushed her off my knee. I saw that she was grimacing and holding her back, muttering a few swear words towards me. I once again made usage of the pony tail, pulling on it a bit harder this time to get her up and standing. I still kept my grip on the ponytail.
"It's funny, the roles were reversed just so many moments ago. There's a funny joke in that, right Alison?"
I decided it was a little payback for the punch to the nuts, so I launched a direct punch to the lower back, right at the spine. That caused her to scream in pain and I even saw a pouty look on her face. Hmmm, she looks really sexy when she had that look on her face. I scooped her up, walked her to the bed and slammed her onto it. It doesn't hurt, but when you just got spine punched, it'll hurt just a bit more. She even bounced in the air a bit as I climbed onto the bed. I jumped up, like a little kid and both of my legs dropped right onto her stomach as an almost comical expression came across her face. More screams of pain as I rolled her over and dropped an elbow righting into the middle of her spine and grinded it in. More swears and yelps of pain followed as I rolled her off the bed.
"Before I finish this, I must say that I really hope that we get a Community movie."
Brie was crawling away as I slowly stalked her, like a hunter...this all sounds really bad. Finally, I decided to end the charade as I used the ponytail for a third time to lift her up. I wrapped my arms around her throat and locked in a tight sleeper as she began the struggle.I felt her nails trying to rip at my arms, which only tightened the grip. I felt her legs kick and her moan and moan till suddenly...nothing. I let go, she fell to the floor with her ass sticking out, so I took out my phone and snapped a photo of her knocked out with her ass end up and sent it to the boss. With one instruction:
Send this to Stephanie McMahon.
-
The jobber is ascending, I can guess what that will mean later, lol
And yes, they need to make a "Community" movie.
-
A fight.
A fight to the finish I presume, so I had Tori give me a ride to a ritzy hotel and handed me a cup.
"Do I even want to know how you measured my cup size?"
Tori just stared at me.
"You actually care about me?"
"Yes, I actually care for you. Why did you ask me to drive you when you're perfectly capable of driving yourself? "
"There is a chance that I'm going to suffer some major league head trauma, so you're on call to pick me up. The whole "It's a fight a to the finish so you can only knock your opponent out to win thing" guarantees that."
I began to leave the car, but Tori had one more question.
"Am I allowed to open up the bottom left desk drawer finally?"
"Sure, but just dodge the spring-loaded pie I put in there after you went on vacation. In fact, it's probably spoiled. So just get a new desk."
"(Sarcastically) Thanks."
So I did the usual, checked in and found out this was taking place in a two-story penthouse. I got to enjoy the room which was beautiful view for a moment because when I put my bag down and was clubbed in the head by Stephanie. I stumbled into the nearest seat and sat down trying to gain my bearings. I saw Stephanie standing over me in black leather pants and sports bra, wearing leather gloves and not MMA style leather gloves, just leather gloves. Steph wrapped her hands around my throat and begging to choke the life out of me, which might be quite erotic if it weren't terrifying. As I started to realize that my life was slowly being choked out of me, I managed to get a handful of her hair and threw a forearm at her chest that connected and got her off me. I promptly got off the choke chair and got in to a fighting stance and moved forward. I tried to take her down and realized that this won't be happening at all.
She threw a wild punch that I ducked under and get her in a waist-lock and squeezed. I felt her hands around mine trying to let go but I had my hands clasped together. She was started to groan a bit and she even tried to stomp my feet I actually lifted her in the air just for the dramatics, but she started throwing elbows that I barely dodged. Unfortunately, she drove me backwards into the wall, hard I might add and it drove the wind out of me. Naturally, I had to release the grip and she once again got her hand around my throat and drove four rapid fire punches into my stomach. I crumpled to one knee and she grabbed me by the hair and raked her forearm across my face a few times. Naturally, she followed it up with an actual forearm to the face and actually reared back to deliver a punch right in the face but relented for a moment.
"So, are you regretting agreeing to this little fight of ours?"
My response: low blow.
She crumpled to the ground holding her lady parts which gave me a moment to recover. Stephanie got back up and I popped her under the chin with a quick uppercut. Both of us rose at the same time and I tried to hit a knockout chop but she blocked it and got a hold of my arm, and manipulated me to my feet by using the broken arm.
She put her back to me, lifted my arm up in the air and drove it over her shoulder repeatedly. I let out a horrific scream She let go after a few times, booted me in the gut which caused me to double over and a boot to the face that put me down. I really considered faking passing out and hoping that she would by it and leave me be. Then, I also remember the strap-on rumors, so that was a bad idea. Stephanie, being the kind soul that she is, helped me back to my feet and looked like she measuring me up for a major shot to the face and I responded with.....a slap of all moves. It shocked her and she responded back with a slap of her own. So, I responded back with my of my own and charged at her. We collided and hit the stairs hard, I heard her back crack hard and I hit the stairs head-first. I thought I had maybe scored a flash knockout, so I had to ask.
"Are you knocked out from that move?"
"Nope."
"Shit."
We both rose as McMahon tried to slam my head into the stairs, but I blocked it and responded with an elbow to the stomach. I put her against the wall and placed her hands behind the railing. I stood before her, cracked my knuckles and smiled knowing that I was at an advantage. As I approached, she kicked me square in the junk. I fell over holding my junk in pain as she smiled.
"That is what you get for fighting dirty."
I quickly got back up like nothing was wrong at all. I also tapped my fist against my cup.
"Did you honestly think that I'd come to this fight without protecting myself? I know you McMahon kids fight dirty. I am really going to enjoy this."
I grabbed her by the hair and drove in an absolutely brutal shot to the stomach. I felt the air come out of her followed by an "OOF" and drove another one in, followed by another one and a fourth one. I was ready to deliver a fourth one but then I stepped back. I was happy with my work, her head was down huffing and puffing. So I lifted her head up by the chin and reared back to end the match with one punch. She countered with a headbutt to the face that sent me into the wall and she got her hands free. She grabbed my head and slammed it into the wall twice, grabbed my shirt and drove me into the stairs. We were near the top of the stairs and McMahon dragged me into the second level of the penthouse which was just a bed and bathroom.
I back on my feet when Stephanie approached and grabbed my shoulders and drove a swift knee into my gut leaving me on one knee. She hit me with another forearm and a knee to the kidney put me on all fours. I saw her moving back and eyeing me up for a running knee but I moved out of the way at the last moment. She looked shocked as I began to rise and charged at me, so I countered with a front chop block that put her down.
That was a last gasp move on my end as I sensed that she was ready to finish me off. I was still down and she was holding her knee in pain and managed to get back up via bed assistance. Stephanie was getting back up I picked her up, grabbed onto her gear and drove her into the wall as hard as I could. McMahon did counter by elbowing me in the neck which put me on one knee, followed by a much brutal knee to the face. By this point I was in pain and I'm sure that she was in pain but neither of us wanted to quit. I saw her going into the bathroom and followed her, tackling her to the ground. I straddled McMahon and started to paint brush with vicious slaps and McMahon countered by grabbing my hair and viciously pulled me off her. Seriously, I saw a few large lumps of hair come flying off and wondered if I was bleeding from the head. McMahon got back up and gave me a warm welcome of a soccer kick to the ribs. I groaned as Stephanie dragged me by the hair to the toilet, lifted the lid and proceeded to give me a swirly. Alright, she tried to straight up drown my ass. I was gasping for air and finally got my hand on her knee. I started to smash my fist into her knee repeatedly as McMahon howled in pain and finally let go of the drowning attempt. I stood up, soaking wet but Stephanie was ready and clocked with an axe handle, pushing me out of the bathroom. Stephanie came out of the room with a towel that she wrapped around my throat and I slowly realized that she was trying to murder me again, not beat me. We were both standing and she had the towel tightly wrapped around my throat as I fell to my knees. I managed to face the bed, place my leg on it and pushed backwards and drove her into the wall, reliving me having the life choked out of me. She came at me and tossed her on the bed as I got on the bed and dropped an elbow into her stomach. I tried for another one but she moved out of the way and I hit the mattress. She jumped up in the air and aimed her knee at me. It could have been worse since she was aiming for the throat, but at the last minute I managed to tuck my head in. The good news, I didn't get killed, the bad news my face took the brunt of the damage.
She stood above me with her arms crossed with a sadistic look on her face.
She grabbed me by the shirt and manipulated me to my feet and raised her fist in the air. I knew what was coming and knowing that the end was near, I kind of wanted it to end. She raised her leather fist into the air and drove it right into my nose. Followed by another one and the last one pretty much knocked me silly. She let go and I fell to the mattress, out of the fight. That's it, I was knocked out cold but Stephanie was not done as she stepped off the bed and dragged me off the bed. I was still knocked out as Stephanie dragged me to my feet and I was barely conscious, standing there like a Mortal Kombat character as Stephanie belted me in the stomach with a boot. I went down to one knee dry heaving as Stephanie hooked my arms and I realized what was coming. Pedigree. This was less of a protected one like you see on TV since I wasn't cooperating and it was ugly. That's what Stephanie was going for as my head was driven head first into the thing carpet, knocking me out once again.
I'll admit, I put up one helluva fight.
And course, my night isn't over....
The definition of Knighfalling: To wait until your opponent is at it's weakest, then challenge them to combat.
It's a verb or something.
I was enjoying the room. Took a nap, ordered some room service, bought about a dozen PPV movies on the McMahon's dime. So overall, it wasn't turning out to be that bad of a day. I called Tori off since the damage wasn't that bad and decided to have a "me day" as she used to call it. Of course that was a bald faced lie. I even called to reassure her that I wasn't dead and that Triple H didn't burst in and beat the snot out of me.
Still, I was hurting bad and was looking forward to relaxing with a hot bath before calling it a night. I was upstairs when I heard a knock on the door.
"I didn't order any room service so scram."
"This isn't room service."
Well...still scram."
I didn't hear the sound of footsteps, so I walked to the door and opened it.
Jessica fucking Alba.
"Time to fight."
"C'mon. I just got done have the shit literally and figuratively beaten out of me by Stephanie McMahon. I got pounded into the ground, brought out of the ground and pounded again. Then pounded some more. I've been a human hamburger today and I have not time to deal with this shit."
She walked in, wearing a trench coat, ignoring everything I just said.
I went to say something but I was interrupted by a punch to the stomach that caused me to double over. I was coughing and in no such condition to fight. What was it that I learned from Rocky Balboa after I had my arm broken again?
"Italian food made by a bunch of Mexicans doesn't sound so special to me, Rock."
Wrong. Something about getting hit and keep coming forward. I don't know, I can barely understand Stallone most of the time. She already took off her trench coat and no it isn't anything like the bikini from her EW shoot or Nancy gear. Just workout gear.
"So, are we gonna fight?"
I got back up, put my fists up and walked towards her.
I'm a frigging idiot by the way.
Another crappy night in a succession of crappy nights.
Arms are weak, legs are wobbly, back is hurting like Lawrence went to town on it like our first encounter.
At a ritzy hotel, not my type of joint but it's a nice change of pace from the broom closet I call an office.
Stephanie McMahon, most powerful woman in pro wrestling wanted a fight. I gave one...let's just say it didn't do myself much good. Got my licks in, made her panic a bit. Sadly a few good shots to the face including a knee to the pearly whites put me down. So take that all the girls that could have done me in like that.
I thought my night was over, treat myself for once. It's not easy having a boss that get's you knocked out every other weekend. Then...little Jessica Alba showed up wanting a fight. Wanted none of it, but she struck first. Bad mistake little girl, but this was no little girl I was going against. Toned body, muscles, an ass any women would kill for...working out must be great when nobody wants you in a movie.
Why couldn't this be Eva Green?
Why am I talking like Marv from Sin City? Well, it's the only Alba movie that I remember.
The reality is simple, my stomach is redder than ketchup and my head feels like I drank three bottles of vodka and this is the resulting hangover.If everybody's day is one giant crapfest, then mine's a crapfest with a extra serving of mayonnaise.
I'm about as fit to fight as Ali was when he fought Larry Holmes.
I came back into the fight with my fists up ready to make a go of this this and I was back down on the floor in seconds. I was knee to the gut followed by a knee to the chest. At that exact moment, I felt my chest cave in an breathing became a luxury to me and I was broke. Luckily enough, I landed near the bathroom, my phone was in there, time for plan T. I stumbled in there, locked the door and placed a call to an angel.
"Tori, I don't know what you're doing, but I need you to get down to hotel and beat up Jessica Alba."
"I thought you were fighting Stephanie McMahon?"
"I did, I lost and now I'm being Knighfalled by Alba."
"What does "Knightfalled" mean."
"I have no time to explain that, just get down to the hotel and beat up Jessica Alba. I feel like death warmed over and I'm gonna get my ass kicked."
"That's not....a new concept."
"Just get down here, Stephanie put a right pounding on me and I'm knickered up pretty bad mate."
"Why are you talking like a British person."
"Concussive damage!"
"I'll see what I can do." CLICK.
Well, I'm optimistic. I basically have no chance in this fight, no energy what so ever (Thanks room service) So, I went to open up the door and Alba was standing right there.
"So, are you done tinkling?"
"I am and in fact-
I tried to land a punch but she grabbed it and hit me with her backfist. I stumbled to the ground and she came right after me. I tried landing a miracle kick to the gut, but she grabbed my foot and tossed it aside. That's a bad sign, I could damage your leg in ways you can't dream off but I'm gonna laugh off that pathetic attempt at offense. Well, she didn't expect a headbutt to the stomach... and she did actually and side stepped it. At least I was out of the bathroom and flat on my face.
Bad things happen when I end up flat on my face against a starlet. Usually, it's a camel clutch, full nelson camel clutch, surfboard and god forbid some weird move I've never seen, like The moss covered, three handled family grudunzle. Well, she's going with the clutch and consistency isn't a good thing. The fishhook didn't help and she was using the Lawrence playbook: Crank up, then ease up a little bit. Extend the pain, make 'em suffer and hear them scream.
Well, I'm too tired to scream, and instead I passed out.
Helluva way to end the day.
Hello darkness my old friend, but I heard a faint voice.
"Aww...you're knocked out? That can't happen yet."
I felt a few slaps, light ones but they became heavy-duty, McMahon style slaps.
"You up?"
"No I'm not, I'm just sleep talking."
Did she fall for it? Nope. Even though I was as limp as an Olive Garden noodle covered in shitty sauce, I was back on my face as I felt her manipulating my body between her legs, locking around my waist. Well, gotta play the stereotype I guess. Wait, I felt her arm go around my throat and then promptly realized that this was a dragon sleeper/body scissors combo. Which is bad enough considering the neck and rib pain, but she was arching backwards, going for the trifecta of pain. I try and I mean try to pry her legs open or get my arm off her throat, but no strength to do so. And I'm out.
Well...that was fun in an inherently awful way, like watching Basic Instinct with your grandma when you think you're gonna be watching Top Gun. No angel to save the day at the last minute, thanks for trying Tori. At-least I passed out in-between the legs of a beautiful woman. Can't ask for anything better tha-
And I'm awake thanks to a stomp to the stomach, pretty sure that one dove deep enough to hit the intestines. When I came to, Alba was sitting on the couch, tending to her nails.
This is approaching Vandervoort levels of pain and humiliation.
"I like what we got going on here. I get to test out all these holds and you can do nothing about it. I am going to put you out soon, just need to think of the way to do so. I'm going to give you one free shot at me, a hold or even a punch if you want."
I was apprehensive, but I had one shot to end the fight, a miracle knockout blow. Go for the chop. I rose and she rose and stepped towards me, even patting her chin a few times. What would Jerry Lawler do?
Uh....have sexual relations if she was just at or under the age of eighteen?
I threw the chop and it was blocked, like right away.
"Nope, changed my mind, but the chop gave me a good idea."
*Screams internally.*
Boom, chop to the right side of my neck and I'm down on both knees. It takes one chop to get me down to one knee. She got behind me and I felt my had being pushed to the right side, prime chopping time.
"Thank Jennifer for this. I've heard of your exploits and how you've given so many starlets a fight. To say that I'm greatly disappointed is a mass understatement..."
I got the last laugh, I got nude pictures of her! I heard the door open as she continued to ramble on and prayed to anybody that it was Roei. Or housekeeping. Alba had her back to the door and I looked up to see Alba about ready to bring down the boom. Well, it never happened as yes, Molly had arrived to save the day. Tori put Alba in a choke hold, dragged her to the ground and locked in a scissors.
This seems oddly familiar.
Was I watching this? Nope, I had simply decided to lay on the floor, hoping that nothing bad would happen to me.
It wasn't long (Or as Tori would later tell me) until Alba was out cold and Tori pushed her off. She then dragged my useless carcass towards Alba, draped my arm across her chest (And no I didn't cop a feel) and she counted a quick three.
"I won."
"No, you got the crap kicked out of you and I saved the day."
"Potato, poIWon."
I got back to my feet, well kind of considering Tori had to help me up and I took home the victory. Not really. But I'll take the moral victory after the night I've had.
-
Poor jobberette, two butt whippings in one night isn't cool. Glad Tori came in eventually and put Alba down. That overrated "star" has only been in two things that didn't suck "Dark Angel" and "Sin City"...how she is still considered relevant is beyond me.
-
This seems sketchy, at best.
I'm walking into a several beating, at worst.
Apparently, Carla Gugino has an "apprentice", that being the lovely Alexandra Daddario, star of "San Andreas" and other films and shows. You probably remember her from the first episode of True Detective, when her nude scene broke the damn internet. While filming San Andreas with Gugino, my arch-enemy and also enemy to Molly filled Daddario's head with her tales of mixed wrestling destruction. Tori, ever the resourceful and willing to make a buck, brokered a deal between herself and Daddario. Daddario would get her first taste of action around spring, taking on yours truly.
I was all for having a match with somebody like Daddario, hell I was enthusiastic. Maybe a bit overenthusiastic which turned to dread once Tori laid the bombshell on me. This wouldn't be a private affair, just the two of us in a hotel room or even a gym. I would travel into enemy territory on my own, this time to Carla Gugino's house to face Daddario. Gugino would be an impartial party, so she wouldn't be screaming out advice for Daddario. With Gugino personally "observing" the match in what made me that stage from Mortal Kombat II with Shao Kahn on his throne. I could just see the swerve of me going through a grueling battle with Daddario, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat, battered and beaten as Gugino challenging me right then and there.
I arrived at Gugino's "house", gear bag in hand as I was greeted by a rather happy Gugino, eager to make it seem like we were old acquaintances all along. I call it a "house" since the foyer was bigger than my entire apartment, as Gugino escorted me to the kitchen. I could see the living room was blocked off and automatically assumed that tonight's festivities would take part there. Gugino was moderately dressed with blue jeans, black knee high boots and a nice white blouse as she patted on a chair for me to sit on. Gugino handed me a cup of tea that I automatically sniffed to make sure it wasn't laced with anything.
"So, how's everybody back at the office?"
I had a face of stone as I wondered why Gugino was so upbeat and giddy.
"Gugino, I'm going to ask right now, why are you being so damn nice to me?"
Gugino's smile went to a face of disgust as she sighed.
"I know I haven't done right by you this you this year."
"You beat the piss out of me in the ring from the first Mortal Kombat movie."
" What can I say, it was in the heat of the battle, just like the low blow you've gone to."
"You got me there."
"I need to ask a favor for you. Alexandra is how, well she isn't quite battle ready as I hoped she would be."
"Not my goddamn problem."
"It is your problem. If your battle with Daddario is a good one, naturally, the starlets will come calling and that means more money in your pocket. Also, a little bit of financial breathing room for Tori."
"You want me to do the favors for her? Make her look good abut ultimately go down for the count?"
"No, no, no, no. You have a good chance of winning this thing and between you and me, this'll end with you winning. Just don't..how can I say this...don't go rough on her. No punches, no low blows, just go with the basics for about ten or so minutes. Go through some basic holds, nothing over the top or meant to inflict an insane amount of damage. First hold that you put some force into, she's gonna tap."
"No camel clutch finish then? Spare your girl the same grisly death sentence that you put upon Tori's people for nearly a decade?"
I could see Gugino bite down on her lip with a look of disdain and she seemingly swallowed whatever retort she had. I liked watching her squirm, it was a tiny bit of payback for the hell I was subjected to early this year.
"Judging by the look on that not so pretty look on your face, I have you between a rock and a hard place. In the interest of fairness, I won't go rough on her, I'll work basic maneuvers, but if this is a double cross by you two...I'm unleashing hell upon her. Then, I'm coming for you."
I put out her hand as she reluctantly shook it as a smile broke out on her face and mine. Gugino left for the living room as I could Daddario pacing back and forth as the door closed. I changed into my gear (Rash guard and shorts) and prepared for the go signal. The door opened as I walked into a cavernous living room, meticulously prepared for an encounter. Furniture was moved to the end of the room as Daddario and Gugino sat up against a wall. Daddario was stunning in an all black bra/underwear combo, nothing over the top (http://bit.ly/1QGSGVU), but still enough to exude sexiness. I could see a reluctant look in eyes a Gugino motioned for her to walk up to me, as she walked towards me, albeit she looked goddamn nervous. I put my hand out and put out a warm smile, she looked like a four year old that had just seen broccoli for the first time.
"C'mon, I won't bite. Or sucker punch you. Or cop a feel."
That broke the ice as we shook hands.
"I'm a big fan of your work."
"First episode of True Detective I presume?"
"I think any red-blooded American male with access of the internet was a big fan of that episode. I found San Andreas to be a fun popcorn flick and I laughed my way through Burying the Ex."
"You might be the only person that loves Burying the Ex."
"People have shitty taste."
__________________________________________________ _______________________________________
Gugino said "GO" really loud and Daddario looked fearful of trying the first move as we circled for about a solid minute. I could see a look of disdain develop of Gugino's face and Daddario's eyes had a look of trepidation, so I half hardheartedly dove at Daddario, eating carpet. Daddario giggled as she jumped on-top of me, and I must admit that feeling of her breasts on her back was arousing.
Don't tell Tori that.
I could feel Daddario trying to move my arms back to lock in a Full Nelson, but she couldn't get a good grip. I slipped out and managed to get top position and put Daddario into a basic side headlock. I tightened the grip a little bit and I could see her trying to push her head out so, so I lessened the grip. I see Gugino raise her eyebrows once I tightened the grip. I could see her leg coming up for a scissors and I just gave her my head. She easily locked in a side head-scissors and took a-hold of one of my arms. It wasn't tight, but it was a bit irritating and Gugino taught her well. Daddario locked her ankles up as I squirmed a bit, trying to push my out. I finally undid her ankles, but she transitioned into a straight hammerlock, a move she seemed to have mastered. It caused quite a bit of discomfort, as I tried to find a way out. I finally reversed it and locked a hammerlock of my own and Daddario seemed stumped on what to do next.
Daddario grabbed a hold of my leg and lifted it upwards and we eventually tumbled onto the floor, a twisted heap of legs and arms. Daddario managed to get top position and cockily pinned my arms down and called for Gugino to count me out. Gugino nodded no, which gave me an opening to throw my legs up around her arms and we reversed position, but Daddario managed to lock in a body scissors before I could get into a dominant position. It was tight, but I managed to finagle my way out of the hold with ease. It had been about five minutes and we once again found ourselves circling, and going into a test of strength. Our bodies clashed together and yes, I took a gander at her breasts. Hey, they broke the internet for gods sake! She seemed to notice and it gave her a temporary advantage, almost forcing me to my knees, but I regained my standing position and eventually, swept Daddario off her feet and took a mounted position. I thought about throwing a few slaps or doing something, but I saw that ten minutes had passed, so I slapped on an arm-bar and the moment I exerted some pressure, I heard the hand of Daddario frantically tap out. A let go as I offered a helping hand to Daddario as a furious Gugino approached us.
"You just humiliated me! I took this guy apart and you can't even make this competitive?"
I could a look of dejection and hurt on the face of Daddario as Gugino was fuming. I thought about taking a backseat and leaving, but I wanted to see The Mad Queen go off.
"Carla, you put me up to this! I wasn't ready and you told me that I'd walk through this guy. It's obvious that he's pretty good at this."
"Thank you."
"ZIP IT!"
Carla continued to browbeat Daddario for some time and I began to feel legitimately awful. I thought about intervening at some point, and then it happen.
Carla slapped the shit out of hr. It was a stiff slap because Daddario went down to both knee and started to cry. I saw Carla going to slap her again and I decided enough was enough and caught her hand. Gugino had a look of fury in her eyes.
"You did your job, now let me take care of this."
"Yeah, I'm not going to sit idly by and watch you browbeat this poor girl because you suck as a trainer. Now, if it's a fight you want...I'm up for one."
"Really? Up for another beating?"
"I wouldn't call it a beating, Carla. Last time I checked, I was the last one standing."
Carla gave a defiant look that said no, but finally a twisted smile appeared on her face.
"You got it."
Gugino backed off and began to take off her blouse, and before I could see a mini-strip tease...
I was hit with the low blow to end all blows, the noise causing a sound that could only be described as a gunshot echoed throughout the room. I was in immense pain as I fell to both knee and eventually fell to the floor, my legs kicking the ground. I seriously thought one of my testicles had been ruptured because of how hard I was hit. I was flat on my stomach and I reached out to the nearest leg I could see. I saw two pairs of legs and my head slowly moved up to see Daddario and Gugino, Gugino in an almost identical bikini. The two of them wore wicked grins as I realized this was all a set-up. My head fell to the ground as I passed out from the pain of the low blow. The last thing I was the two of them, ready to fight.
Karma was coming to collect.
This was going to be....
Double Shot Saturday.
I knew Carla's acting couldn't be that good.
-
Double Shot Saturday: Part 1 of 2
Hindsight is hilarious, I guess. I had a feeling that Gugino was going to pull the carpet on me, I even had a text written to Tori, telling her that I smelled something fishy. For the love of God, get over here and get me the hell out of this nightmare. Instead, I deleted the text, turned my phone off and thought positive thoughts. I need those positive thoughts really fucking bad, right now.
I was slowly coming out of my low blow induced slumber. I was using the same chair that Gugino sat in to help myself up. I was finally standing and saw the two of them standing in-front of me. Daddario on the left, a look of fierceness and determination. Gone was the doe like blue eyes of innocence and the body language of somebody in an uncomfortable situation. One the right, Gugino had the look of the cat that swallowed the canary and the two of them put their fists up. I found myself backed against a wall as I saw the two of them approaching, so I did what any great idiot would do in my situation. I left the comfort of the wall and put my fists up as I saw them approaching me and they made one mistake. They left enough room for me to dart past them and I have no idea what I was trying to accomplish with that. Confuse them possibly? I saw a small opening to attack at-least one of them, so I tackled Gugino to the ground.
I'm calling this on the fly by the way.
I tried to get a hold of an arm and the moment I postured up, Daddario launched her shin straight into my spine with a devastating kick. The kick caused stinging pain up and down my spine as I went down, but Daddario pulled me up and hooked my arms. I knew this meant that Gugino was ready to attack, miffed that I had tried to turn this into a fight. Gugino launched a knee to the stomach that I tried to blow off, but my tightened stomach felt the pain. Gugino hit me with about three short shots, softening the stomach just a bit more as I grunted through gritted teeth. I was hoping and praying harder than ever that Gugino wouldn't throw another knee. Gugino feinted a punch, smiled and threw a brutal knee that caused me to double over as I slipped out of Daddario's arms. I saw the both of them standing over me, heads looking down upon me, as I was on all fours. Gugino and Daddario grabbed my hair and unleashed with a torrents of forearms to the back. The sound of* flesh-on-flesh filled the room as I felt like a 1988 WWF jobber going against Demolition.
Except I'm not getting beat up by two dudes in S&M gear and face-paint, I sure as shit know that.
After about a dozen shots, they seemed satisfied with their work as Daddario pulled my hair up and I stared into her steel blue eyes. Beautiful yes, but they turned to a look of shock when I was able to land a last-ditch takedown on Daddario. I wasn't thinking well as I once again tried for the arm, but I felt Gugino jumping onto my back, trying for a sleeper. Gugino locked in a piggyback sleeper as I tried everything to get her off me, her legs swinging wildly. Luckily, one of her legs hit Daddario, knocking her down, but I could feel the cold hand of darkness as stood still and went down to one knee. I could see Daddario standing in-front of me, holding her chin as my eyes fluttered closed.
"You kicked me in the chin, Carla."
Gugino just glared at her.
"Trust me, this little comeback of his is the most pain you'll feel all day."
"That arm-bar did hurt like hell, though. *Gugino just glares at her*. I think we should keep count of the knockouts."
"Good idea."
Knockout Number One: Piggyback sleeper by Gugino
"Can I go next?"
"Knock yourself out, Alexandra. I got the next round since I took him out with ease."
Oh crap baskets.
Daddario giggled as Gugino walked back to her seat and cracked open a bottle of water. Daddario looked down at me, almost like a kid who just got the big Christmas gift and was ready to play with it.
"Hey Carla?"
*Gugino sighs*.
"Yes Alexandra?"
"*Pointing at me*. Is there a way to wake him up? Do I slap him or do something gentle?"
Carla sighed and walked over to Daddario and whispered something into her ear. Daddario looked at my corpse and then back at Daddario and smiled. Daddario nodded her head as Carla went back to her seat as she stood above me. Daddario jumped in the air and brought down both knees on my stomach as it looked like stomach deflated upon impact. I was jolted awake from the pain of 130 or so pounds coming down upon my stomach, as I gagged and coughed and crawled into a ball and held my stomach. Daddario sat in-front of me and pulled my head in-between her legs. I just realized I've spent my head in-between the legs of numerous actresses. I came out of my slumber staring at her bikini bottom and I was still under the impression that Daddario was some newbie. Boy, was I wrong as she locked in a pitch-perfect figure four head scissors, grabbing her ankle and pulling back to up the pressure. I could see Daddario wearing a wicked grin and she pulled back on the ankle and I'd made various faces of pain and suffered through grunts and groans. Daddario seemed bored at she let go as my face fell to the floor and returned to a normal color. Daddario crossed my ankles, but called an audible and just decided to put her foot on my back. Daddario tried to a hold of my arms, but I moved them out of sheer stubbornness, so she stomped my back repeatedly. She got a hold of one arm, but I moved the other one away, so she let go and slapped my kidneys. I should really let her have my arms, but gosh darn it I'm enjoying her being so damn frustrated.
I didn't enjoy the dual kidney punches, though.
I finally gave up my arms after the feeling of fist on kidney as Daddario pulled my body up in a painful standing surfboard. The pain was seriously bad at first, made worse when Daddario improvised and decided to dig her into my spine rather than planting her foot. I could see Gugino giving her a big thumbs up for improvisation and I thought maybe she should hope up a scorecard. Then I realized it would be a cookie sheet and we'd be veering into bad territory. Daddario finally get go of the hold as she brought one knee down on my back with just enough pressure to cause pain, followed by the other one as I pondered my torturer's next move. I could feel her hand underneath my chin, pulling my head up as she dug her nails into my chin. Daddario once again crossed my ankles and held them with her other hand. After much rocking back and forth, Daddario finally had enough momentum as she fell onto her back, locking me into a bow and arrow hold. As Daddario was bending me over my knees, I could only think that once she was done with me, I could see Gugino wanting another round and then:
Double team destruction.
I'm getting knocked out, a lot aren't I?
I was screaming in pain as I could see Gugino clicking away with her phone and I had a suspect feeling Tori would be getting a whole galley of these photos. Thinking of this, it was a temporary block of the pain, which was immense as Daddario was enjoying bending me over but she suddenly brought me down. No doubt Daddario was a Gugino trained apprentice, pinpointing one area and just keep pounding out it to wear the opponent out. I was seriously hoping that news of my broken arm hadn't reached the ears of either one or things could get ugly. Daddario was just sitting on my back, contemplating her next move, putting pressure on my back every now and then. Not a bad view and I could look up at her and she even smiled some times and waved. I could see Gugino looking at her phone, desperately swiping, like she was trying to find something important. Finally, a smile came over her face as called Daddario by crooking her finger. Daddario looked at the phone, nodded and went back to sitting on me. This wasn't like Hayek, when I mentally clocked out because of my overconfidence backfiring, it was because I knew this was a bad situation. The moment I come back, I knew Gugino would run in to save the day. Gugino cleared her throat and drank some water.
"Richard, I didn't know that Stephanie McMahon broke your arm, I have to thank Tori for telling me that before our match."
I'm going to be talking to Tori about that little tidbit, but for now, my eyes are bugging out as Gugino point to my right arm. Daddario approached my bad arm and tried to grab it, but I stubbornly moved it away. Daddario gave me a look and smiled that screamed "Really?" Daddario finally trapped the bad arm as she started with a basic Fujiwara Armbar. Daddario started to speak.
"This is the move that Tori girl taught you right?"
"Yep."
"See, the mistake Tori made was that she always held the arm up extremely high, making escape easier. Carla let me in the secret: Keep the arm low."
Daddario kept the arm low and cranked the pressure and I was thankful that Tori paid top dollar for my surgery. I had metal plates and screws in there, so the possibility of a re-break was slim to none. Daddario let go of the hold and placed her knee on the arm, doing her damnedest to try and prove my theory wrong and I was a grappling dummy as this point. Daddario looked frustrated as she let go of the arm and pondered her next move. Daddario straightened my arm out and decided to stomp on it a few times just to appease Gugino. She then resumed sitting on my back, exerting pressure for shits and giggles.
"Can I just knock him out? I'm kind of bored of torturing him, I wanna see you do it."
"Go ahead, I'm a bit envious of you for inflicting so much damage on him. Once I get done with him, we'll bust out some of those double team moves."
"Do I ask: How did you two practice these double team moves?"
Daddario decided to answer, looking down at me with ultimate enthusiasm.
"We used an actually practice dummy! We gave it a name too"
"What'd you name it?"
Daddario went to speak, but Gugino put her hand up to stop her.
"We called it Molly."
Of fucking course.
"This have been awesome, but I have to knock to you out now. Sorry bout it."
Please let it be breast smother, please let it be breast smother, please let it be breast smother.
Daddario once again pulled me into her legs (DAMMIT!) and locked in a figure head scissors, the same hold that she perfectly executed originally. I had a feeling that Daddario might have even taken Gugino out with this hold at some point in her training. Daddario had a total look of concentration as she pulled the ankle back as my face turned various shades of red before eventually going limp after a solid minute. Daddario seemed content to let go as Gugino came over with the phone and they snapped various victory poses: Foot on chest, face and back. Biceps pose the same ways, sitting on my chest.
Knockout Number Two: Figure Four Head Scissors by Daddario
Daddario tagged Gugino in as she went over to Gugino's seat and cracked open a bottle of water. I was coming to as I could see Daddario smile and enthusiastically wave at me. Gugino however, looked like a panther on the prowl, circling my knocked-out ass. I knew what was coming, as I slowly rose from my slumber. I once again put my fists up as Gugino busted a gut laughing and then launched a knee straight at my gut that put me to one knee. As I was trying to catch my wind, Gugino walked behind me, pulled my head back and nailed about four forearms to the chest. I was putty in her hands as she walked in-front of me and brought her knee forward like a pendulum and nearly caved my chest in. I crumpled to the ground as Gugino stood over me and Gugino turned her attention to her protege.
"Alexandria?"
I could see Daddario looking at her phone and she automatically put it down when Carla called her.
"Are you tweeting this?"
"Umm....no. *I see Daddario frantically trying to delete something*. What's up?"
"This is a lesson. You took your time taking him out and while I appreciate a long drawn-out beat-down of a Bishop approved fighter...it's best to make it quick with this one. He like's to think of himself like Rocky Balboa, he can always make his comeback."
"Cool!"
Gugino rolled her eyes as she rolled me and put my arm into a hammer lock as she sat on my back. I was just hoping for a basic hammer lock, then I saw Gugino raising her elbow high. Gugino brought the down on my arm repeatedly as my screams filled the room. Daddario looked horrified as she saw Gugino at her cruelest and after about five elbows, my arm was most certainly destroyed. I could see Gugino standing above me, waiting for me to get back to all fours, so she could drop all her weight on me, and I got to all fours and waited. Right as she was to drop, I just barely slid out of the way, so her ass hit the hardwood floor. Daddario looked shocked, then dumbfounded as I got behind Gugino and locked in a rear naked choke, as Gugino's legs kicked against the floor. I could see Daddario getting up and charged over at her as she her mentor being choked out. I could see Gugino trying to grunt out instructions before Daddario decided to do something....by stomping me in the head. I let go automatically as Gugino rolled as me and Daddario ran back to her seat, looking happy. Gugino was coughing as she launched two elbows to the stomach, each one causing me to grunt and groan.
I've angered her....this isn't good.
Gugino rolled me over, let out a ghastly scream and locked me in the Gugino Clutch as it's been called. My arms are* trapped as Gugino begins to pull backwards, slowly bringing the pressure to a climax as she leans back and with that...I finally just pass out from the pain. My arms fall like limp spaghetti as Gugino got off me and looked over at Daddario.
"Now that is how you destroy a Jobber."
Knockout Number Three: Camel Clutch by Gugino
Daddario looked disappointed almost with the situation as she stood up and motioned Gugino to come over.
"You know, I kind of want to knock him out again before we double team him."
"Why?"
"So that we end up all tied up!"
"What are you thinking?"
I saw Daddario pointing at her bikini top with a smile. Gugino had a look of disbelief, considering how serious she usually takes beating us Jobbers up.
"Really?"
"C'mon, throw him a bone before we torture him again. Some pleasure before the pain? This is the only time that I will ever get to knock somebody out with these things."
"I highly doubt this will be the last time you'll run into him. Molly will be sounding the alarms ready to team up with him to get revenge us."
"That's fine, I always wanted to smother a girl too."
Gugino rolled her eyes* and sat down as I was just waking up. I saw Daddario adjusting her bikini top with a big smile as she walked towards me. It was first a skip so I could see those breasts jiggle up and down and then it was a sex on legs saunter towards me. Every step, they moved up and down at the anticipation of what was coming next heightened. If Gugino was doing it, I'd expect her to repeatedly knee me in the dick for the duration of the smother. Daddario got on top of me with a lovely smile and whipped her back and forth in anticipation as she slowly placed those 34C's on top of me. She seemed ready to lower them, but rose up and wagged her finger no, titillating me. Eventually she nodded her head and placed those wonderful breasts right onto my face, eventually grabbing my hair and forcing my face into those 34C's. My groans became muffled as I slowly faded into unconsciousness as my body went limp and I faded away. I tried to fight it at first, since I wanted this to last till the end of time, but that darkness finally won the battle. Daddario gently dropped my head to the floor and placed a goodnight kiss on my forehead and stood over me. I wore a complete smile and she placed her foot over my chest, as Daddario was wearing a big grin than I was. Gugino seemed impressed by what Daddario had accomplished, turning me into complete nothingness with one simple move.
Knockout Number Four: Super Amazing Breast Smother by Daddario
Gugino took one look at me, and another look at Daddario.
"Now, the fun begins."
To Be Continued...
-
Daddario and Gugino looked down on me, as I slowly waking up from my smothered induced slumber. I'll be dreaming about that moment for the rest of my life. I came to and I saw Gugino locked my arms in a scissors, essentially a crucifix scissors. Gugino wasn't putting any pressure on me, but I could see Daddario standing over my stomach as she raised her foot in the air and brought it right down on my stomach, leaving a deep imprint on my stomach. I screamed out in pain as Daddario kept it in there for a good twenty seconds before Daddario sat right on my stomach and pulled my rash guard up. The smiling actress that put me at ease was gone and The Gugino's apprentice had arrived. Daddario launched five brutal stomach punches, each one inflicting more pain than the last one. The air finally left my body completely after the fifth shot as she stood up and made the signal for Gugino to let go. Gugino put a bit of pressure with the scissors, a tiny reminder of the pain she could still inflict. Daddario grabbed the chair and placed it behind me as Gugino switched over to a body scissors. Daddario locked in a basic head scissors as I felt my ribs and my head slowly being squeezed by the two of them. I finally tapped out to the pain and it seemed like tap-outs would be recognized, giving me some solstice.
Gugino let go but Daddario kept the scissors on, clearly showing a mean streak.
Daddario finally let go as I fell on the floor, holding my ribs in pain. While Daddario is showing a mean streak, it was still Gugino who could inflict the most pain. Gugino sat on one side and Daddario sat on the other and each one of them locked in arm-bar, with Daddario attacking the right arm. It felt like at this point that I had both of my arms being ripped off as Daddario improvised choking me with her foot. I finally gagged out a verbal tap-out* as both of them let go of the hold, but not the arm. Daddario and Gugino both extended the arms out, held them down and lifted their knees high in the air, and brought them down. I screamed out in pain as they both stood up and watched me writhe in pain. They seemed to be content to let me writhe as I slowly got up, but was automatically forced against the wall, with Daddario placed her forearm on my throat to stay put. Daddario exerted small amounts of pressure as a threat to stay put. Gugino decided to slap me in the face, a way of taunting me.
"See, that slap wasn't me acting."
"If it was...then it's the best acting you've done."
Daddario put a mega-ton of pressure on the throat, enough for me to try and pry it off. Gugino motioned for Daddario to ease as Gugino unleashed a stiff jab to the stomach, which made me groan. Gugino followed that up with two uppercuts followed by a hook to the gut as I was just about out of breath. Gugino nodded to Daddario as she took her forearm off my throat. I felt some relief on my throat, but Gugino unleashed one last Gugino knee that put me down to one knee. My stomach felt like it had been destroyed at this point as Daddario decided to match Gugino's slap with one of her own. It was stiff, but it felt like she was holding back at this point...and I was frigging wrong. Daddario grabbed my hair, reared back her and hit me straight in the jaw with a brutal knee. Gugino had a look of shock on her face at Daddario's actions but it turned to a twisted nod of approval. I was on the floor as they dragged me to the middle of the room and rolled me onto my stomach. Gugino got down to eye level with me.
"Yes, for this portion of the fun, if you tap out, we're going to show mercy and let go. Just so you know though, we're going to knock you out a few more times before the fun is over"
Daddario once again went back to the pro wrestling well but placing me in a rocking horse , an already painful back hold. Daddario seemed content to pull back until my spine snapped, and it didn't help that Gugino locked in a head-scissors from a seated position. I was trying to figure out which one of them was inflicting more pain and what areas they hurt the most. Daddario had all but destroyed my back and did a majority of the damage, but Gugino would inflict short bursts of pain. I begrudgingly tapped out verbally and prayed that I would be let out of this torturous hold. It seemed like they were going to extended if for the knockout, but they just wanted to see me panic. I was basically their wrestling dummy at this point. Daddario decided to speak as I between the two of them, on both knees.
"You know, this guy's a better dummy than Molly!"
"Just wait till you get your hands on Molly, she's the real dummy."
Fuck it....IT'S LOW BLOW TIME.
I went for the surprise low blow on Gugino, but she caught my right hand right away and made a "TSK, TSK" sound.
"We were going to save the knockouts for the end, a grand finale of sorts, but you just earned a knockout."
Gugino forced me to the ground and locked in a Not Crippler Crossface, specifically making sure to move her legs backwards, adding more arm pain. That being said, giving Gugino the opening to try and pull my head off was a bad move on my end. When I saw Daddario grab the same knee that Kendrick and Lawrence damn near ripped off for a half Boston Crab...I was fucked. Daddario pulled back on the knee as far as she could, like a toddler obsessed with ripping off a turkey drumstick and tears damn near ran down my cheek. I knew tapping out was useless, so after about a solid minute of torture, I finally passed out. True to their word, they automatically let go of the hold and stood above my mangled body. Daddario made an astute observation.
"I think we broke him."
"Nah, Tori will fix him up like nothing happened."
Knockout Number Five: Not Crippler Crossface/Half-Crab Combo by Gugino and Daddario
"How do you wanna wake him?"
"How about a double splash!"
"Alexandra, I love that enthusiasm."
I wondered how they would pull off the double splash and then promptly realized they could do anything they want at this point. Gugino dragged the chair over to one side of me, while Daddario snatched one from the kitchen. They stood on each chair and with perfect balance, pretty much belly flopped onto me, causing my whole body to comically kick in the air, like I was brought back to life. I was coughing badly as they got back up as they enthusiastically high-fived their successful move.
Gugino then grabbed my legs, as I felt Daddario left my head into a figure-four head scissors, and Gugino applied the dreaded figure four leg lock. It's a brutal combination hold because if kills off any chance of escape. Daddario's scissors was her usual forte, a tight one with plenty of ankle grabbing to increase the pressure. I was already fading when Gugino began to place brutal pressure on my knee and shin, and it was a sleeping pill for me at this point. I faded out almost right away for the sixth brutal knockout and I theorized this will end when we hit the double digits.
Knockout Number Six: Figure Four Leg Lock/Figure Four Head Scissors Combo by Gugino and Daddario
I was spread eagle in the middle of the floor as Daddario brought me to my feet and locked me in a double arm choke as Gugino decided to wreck more havoc on my stomach with punches and knees. I was helpless and defenseless at this point to Gugino's attacks as she began unleashing knees and kicks at this point. I was so out of it at this point that I was groaning and moaning, not giving them the luxury of screams. Daddario let go of my arms as I fell to both knees as I saw the two of them standing in-front of me, ready to kick the hell out of my chest:
*THWACK*
Gugino
*THWACK*
Daddario
*THWACK*
Daddario
*THWACK*
Gugino
*THWACK*
Gugino
*THWACK*
Gugino
*THWACK*
Daddario
*THWACK*
Daddario
*THWACK*
Daddario
*THWACK*
Daddario
*THWACK*
Gugino
*THWACK*
Gugino
*THWACK*
Daddario
*THWACK*
Gugino
*THWACK*
Dual kick
"Fuck it, I tap."
I mercifully fell backwards as Gugino rolled me onto my stomach and slid one arm between her legs and grabbed the arm. She was taking a move out of my book, the Rings of Saturn. Just a she started to really wrench back, Daddario put me in a standing head scissors as I was almost out when she crossed the ankles. That just expedited the knockout process as I went limp entirely, and was probably drooling on the floor at this point.
Knockout Number Seven: Rings of Saturn/Standing Head-scissors Combo by Gugino and Daddario
Daddario whispered something in Gugino's ear and a wicked smile developed on her face as they waited for me to at-least stir. I'd been knocked out seven times, so it was taking me a bit of time to get back up. Finally, Gugino and Daddario poured the contents of their water bottle onto me and Daddario decided to stomp my back a few times to expedite the process. I could feel Daddario sit on my back and trap my arms for the camel clutch and she cranked back just as bad as Gugino does. Gugino joined in on the fun and locked in a move that I had been hoping to use one day, The Shaprshooter. The pain on my legs was bad, but being elevated and having two people putting insane pressure on my back, I had no choice to pass out at this point. I felt like I was going to be snapped in half like a wishbone as the mercilessly dropped me to the floor.
Knockout Number Eight: Camel Clutch/Sharpshooter Combo by Daddario and Gugino
"Carla, I have three more moves I think we should and then we call it a day on him."
"Agreed, this stopped being fun a long time ago."
Gugino brought the chair back into the middle of the room and propped me against the chair, sitting up. Daddario and Gugino both grabbed an arm and then awakened me with a sharp jab of their feet to my carotid artery and began to push on it. I started to feel woozy as my vision suddenly became blurry as I felt like I was losing control of my body. Just like that, my head fell and I was already knocked out, a brutal knockout that I hope to never feel again. That feeling of helplessness coupled with the sudden brutality of the hold was something I'd never inflict on an opponent. They both mockingly put their arms on me, like it was a remake of Weekend at Bernies, and hell, I'd rather see that than go through this ordeal.
Knockout Number Number Nine: Double Carotid Artery Foot Choke by Gugino and Daddario
"Alexandra, in all my years of running through Tori's "opponents", you know what the most emasculating hold is?
"The bearhug?"
"Damn right."
I was dead weight at this point, so they had quite the task lifting me up. Luckily, I was coming to and unintentionally helped their cause as Gugino locked me in first, right in the ribcage, squeezing away. Daddario joined moments later, squeezing my stomach for good measure. With the shittastic shape my body was in, I was screaming my lungs out at this point, giving them what they had wanted all this time. It seemed right when I was ready to go out, they let go and I suddenly dropped to my knees. They decided to bring me to standing position, and they both grabbed my hair to hold me in place. Daddario was on the left, Gugino was on the right and the thought was there to try for the low blow again. I then decided to take my punishment like any good soldier when I saw one of Gugino's and one of Daddario's hands form into something familiar.
A knife edge chop.
I put my head down as each chop came down bluntly, killing my consciousness with a swift and brutal blow. I fell like a tree as one of them screamed "TIMBER" as I crashed to the floor.
Knockout Number Number Ten: Double Neck Chops by Gugino and Daddario
Naturally, they posed over my body as Gugino sent all the pictures to Tori, a torrent of poses. The message was simple, the job was done, come get your girl and come get a whooping. They sent one specially for Tori, a little note on my knocked out body.
Hi Tori, You're Next!
CARLA AND ALEXANDRA
-
After getting the absolute crap kicked out of her, The Jobberetter made the smart move to actually learn some grappling. While she had some knowledge of fighting, the beating at the hands of Daddario and Gugino was different. It wasn't a fun little roll-around catfight like he had expected, it was a legitimate and brutal beatdown. Unfortunately, her knee ended up twisted and was now staring down a special "challenge" according to the boss. While dropping out was tempting, the payoff was very good and the manager of said actress offered a "win bonus", and extra $5k. It was simple: Take some Advil, put on a knee pad and head to the gym that had been specially rented out for the affair. Her opponent was already there, little Anna Kendrick:
(https://www.freecatfights.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwallpaperrs.com%2Fuploads%2Fcelebrities%2Fthumbs%2Fcelebrities-4k-wallpapers-1483790469.jpg&hash=96e54c9e8e76cce554f8b4a36ce9936259213081)
The Jobberette had at-least three to four inches on her and quickly began to develop a plan. Put her against the wall with strength and gas her out by making any escape attempts difficult, use scissors if the knee is up to it and hit that damn gut. The Jobberette went with workout pants this time to conceal the knee pad and a basic shirt, while Kendrick was conservative with a red and black workout top/shorts combo.
"This must be like Game of Death with Bruce Lee had to fight giant black guy, huh?" The Jobberette said trying to ease the tension.
"Yeah, I'm a dead Hong Kong martial arts star and you're a seven-foot tall black man. Sounds great." Kendrick said flashing two sarcastic thumbs up.
"Alright, I presume you know the rules: you're welcome to pursue any type of tactic to win...and I am allowed to do the same thing. The only exception is shots to the face, which are banned for protection. Nothing sexual. Submissions, and strikes to the body are allowed, you or I can tap out any time to end this, or it ends in a knockout. Are you fine with this set of rules?" The Jobberette asked.
"I do, but I also have a question: Why are you wearing pants?" Kendrick asked inquisitively.
"Reasons." The Jobber responded quickly.
A handshake that didn't end with The Jobberette getting punched in the stomach repeatedly as The Jobberette lead with her right leg. The Jobberette tried to get a hold of Kendrick for a headlock, but Kendrick slipped out as the last moment. Surprisingly enough, Kendrick managed to trip The Jobberette to the floor, but The Jobberette locked in a quick bodyscissors. It wasn't tight due to the bad knee, but The Jobberette compensated by holding Kendrick's head down. Kendrick grunted at first but eventually slipped out. Kendrick threw out a quick kick to the right that The Jobberette essentially blew off, but the kick to the left knee saw him grimace as Kendrick bit her bottom lip and raised her eyebrows.
This is not good for The Jobberette.
The Jobberette got up before Kendrick could get a hold of the leg, but Kendrick dove at The Jobberette and put her on the ground. Luckily, none of Kendrick's weight landed on the bad knee, but this wasn't good. Kendrick already had a hold of the left leg, but forgot to get a hold of the right leg. The Jobberette launched a kick that hit Kendrick straight in the gut and sent her to one knee. It also knocked her back a bit, giving The Jobberette time to get up. Kendrick was now seething as she charged The Jobberette trying to tackle her to the ground. The Jobberette was able to to get a hold of Kendrick and force her against the wall. Kendrick squirmed and tried to get out, but The Jobberette held her there and forced her to the ground. Yet, once again The Jobberette was slow to attack and Kendrick was able to quickly escape and this time Kendrick ended up on The Jobberette 's back, with a body triangle locked in. It's a painful hold, a figure-four body scissors essentially, asThe Jobberette began the process of trying to escape. It wasn't tight, but it still hurt like hell as her breathing was hindered, but escaped when she rolled over and put her weight onto Kendrick. It seemed like a stalemate at this point, neither fighter had really inflicted much in-terms of damage.
The Jobberette and Kendrick stood again with both combatants circling each-other. Kendrick looked to attack from the right as The Jobberette looked to defend a takedown, but realized that the left knee was open for attack. Kendrick dove at the knee in an old-school chop block, shoulder connecting with the knee as The Jobber crumpled to the ground. Holding the bad knee, Kendrick pried The Jobberette 's hands away from it, got a hold of the bad leg and...The Jobberette now wondered if Anna Kendrick was a Greg Valentine. The elbow landed right on the side of the knee causing The Jobber to yell out in pain with plenty of swears. Kendrick liked what she saw and did it again...and again....and again...and again. The Jobberette knew that flat on her back, she was useless, especially now that Kendrick had both hands around the left ankle and was twisting up, causing pain. A panicked The Jobberette was able to get her arm around Kendrick's throat for a rear naked choke, but Kendrick got out before he could get it locked in.
"Now that just pissed me off." Kendrick hissed.
Kendrick again twisted the knee upwards, but The Jobberette decided to fight dirty. Grabbing a hold of her ponytail, The Jobberette pulled Kendrick's head backwards and fired a forearm shot to the sternum. This caused Kendrick to stop attacking the knee and letting The Jobberette get a body triangle of her own locked in as she launched another one. Kendrick grunted and let out a large cry of pain when the third one connected. The Jobberette , milking the anticipation of the next blow, held her arm up in the air and came down fast with a large thwack.
"Watch the tits damnnit!" Kendrick screamed.
So, what did The Jobberette do? Launched one right at the tits, which caused Kendrick to legitimately scream as she quickly let go of the triangle. Kendrick rolled off and was face down, holding her chest in pain, feet kicking the floor. The Jobberette returned to a standing position, waiting this time, fearing a retaliatory low blow or possibly Kendrick attacking the bad knee. The Jobberette was limping, but walking was still easy.
"C'mon Miss Kendrick, I'm not paid for by the hour." The Jobberette said.
Kendrick got up and The Jobberette made the decision to take the fight to her. The Jobberette easily scooped Kendrick up into a bearhug, taking her high off the floor. The Jobberette had always commended those who went the extra length and left their feet for the hold, but she forgot one thing. Those were done via assistance and now he realized that she was trying to carry a hundred pound woman was like trying to carry a sack of potatoes. While she had her arms held tightly around the back of Kendrick and was even grinding the knuckles into her back, she had to change it up. Unfortunately, Kendrick had both hands clasped together and hit The Jobberette in the side of the head with them, loosening her grip. Kendrick hit her with the Axe Handle to the side of the head, and finally one more time in the back, which put her on one knee. The bad one was on the floor as Kendrick got behind The Jobberette, grabbed the ankle, lifted it high in the air, and sent the knee down to the cold, matted floor. Almost sadistically, Kendrick lifted the bad leg, up in the air and once again down into the mat. The Jobberette was in legitimate pain as Kendrick tried ripping at the mat, trying to expose the wooden floor. Jim Ross would be condemning Kendrick for trying to end another person's career in such an evil way. Kendrick eventually got the mat off, but The Jobberette had rolled away from the scene and was slowly rising. Kendrick quickly followed, standing in-front of The Jobberette.
"Oh no you don't, I'm driving the poor little knee of yours into that floor." Kendrick said.
What Kendrick didn't realized was that The Jobberette had trapped her against the corner. With all her might, she drove Kendrick into the corner, driving her shoulder straight into her stomach. Kendrick let out a large gust of air as The Jobberette stood up, Kendrick bent over as he just launched forearm after forearm into the back of Kendrick and even positioned her standing and drove the right knee into Kendrick's gut three times, each one causing Kendrick to wince in pain and air leaving her mouth. The Jobberette grabbed Kendrick and took her to the open spot of wood, but Kendrick launched another attack on the left knee, elbowing the knee, putting The Jobberette on the floor. This time, there would be no escape as Kendrick had The Jobberette's leg up in the air and WHAM! The sound of knee on hard wood sent a large echo throughout the room. The Jobberette was now screaming in the pain, trying to fight back tears of anguish and even Kendrick backed up after seeing her reaction. Of course, this wasn't out of pity since Kendrick had stationed herself right behind the slowly rising The Jobberette and hoped on her back for a piggy back sleeper. The Jobberette was trying to find a way to get Kendrick off her back walking around with her until she saw they were near the wall. With what might he had left, she backed into the wall repeatedly, hoping to crush Kendrick against it. Air was leaving Kendrick's body and she was in pain and she finally felt Kendrick separate from her body. At this point, The Jobberette could barely walk and Kendrick knew that.
Kendrick was taunted her hurting opponent as all she could do now was swat at her, which she easily ducked. Kendrick threw little kicks at the leg, which would cause minimal pain in a normal situation, but in The Jobberette's case, it's like getting a bat to the knee. Kendrick dove at the bad knee and The Jobberette fell to the mat face first, slowly and realized they were near the exposed wood. Holding onto the leg, Kendrick pulled up the left pants leg as The Jobberette knew what was coming next the knee pad came off and was thrown in-front of her. Her knee was screaming in pain and she was useless on the floor and squirming did her no good. The exposed knee was once again up in the air and milking it forever, was slammed to the hard floor. The Jobberette's screams of pain were like music to Kendrick who stood back and observed her handy work. Every swear included the dreaded "C" word came out of her mouth.
"No five thousand dollar bonus for you, I guess." Kendrick cockily said.
Kendrick stood above The Jobberette's legs, lifted the left leg up, locked it between her arm and armpit and sat down on the small of The Jobberette's back, wrenching back. It was a half-Boston Crab and almost immediately, The Jobberette tapped out. Kendrick, might have put the hold on her for about ten seconds before hand hit mat. Kendrick got around and walked in-front of the downed Jobberette, brown hair flowing as she could only look up at the victor. She knelled down by her, grabbed her hair and let him see what was coming next. Kendrick's hand....formed into a chop. What was coming next, you may ask?
Darkness.
In the form of a knockout chop to the neck.
The Jobberette could do nothing as the chop came down on the left side of the neck as she convulsed and passed out immediately. Kendrick took mercy on The Jobberette and decided against a second blow, letting The Jobberette's face fall into the mat. Kendrick placed her foot on back of The Jobberette's head and flexed her muscles.
"Size doesn't matter, I guess." Kendrick cockily said.
-
cheer up Jobberete
if you begin losing to fictional characters you REALLY have a problem
-
(https://www.freecatfights.com/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hawtcelebs.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2016%2F09%2Fnikki-and-bire-belle-bella-tins-in-muscle-fitness-magazine-october-2016-issue_1.jpg&hash=3d7580b2e4a7cc51f33db216ab03f8522112bd7e)
How did I find myself in this situation? Well, you don't drink and bake and you shouldn't drink and post on internet wrestling message boards. I posted a few mean things that got tweeted to them and you know potato po-getting the crap beat out of me.
"So...uh is this an I face one, then the other type of situation?" I asked.
"Oh no, it's a handicap match and we can switch out at any moment." Nikki stated.
"Well, at least you can't pull twin magic this." I said trying to lighten the mood. Did not work, they looked pretty pissed.
_________________________________________
This is gonna suck, as both of them approached me as I found myself back up against the wall. Texas Tornado rules it is then. Well, those rules I had spent so much timing were about ready to go out the window. In one coordinated move, Brie's boot went into my throat starting to choke me with her holding onto a table for support.
Punch to the stomach and all I can muster is an *Oof* followed by another *Oof* from Nikki. Nikki backed off and seemingly watched a Brie's boot choked the life out of me. I can only presume they did this to many divas and probably Zack Ryder at some point.
"Brie, I think that's enough." Nikki said.
In between gasped breaths "Yeah, that's enough." I tried stating
"Nah, just a few more seconds." Brie said
"Yeah, totally right on that end." Nikki said
Finally, she let go and I went on all fours wondering if my throat or stomach hurt more. Well, my stomach would be hurting more as Nikki (On the right) kicked me in the stomach and Brie (On the left) followed course. I was now flat on my back as Nikki went to stomp on my stomach but I managed to grab a hold of her foot. I was actually to get back onto my feet while holding on and push her into Brie. Brie, probably not expecting that accidentally moved out of the way and Nikki hit the wall. I pushed Brie out of the way and more or less splashed Nikki (All 200 pounds soaking wet) against the wall. I heard a large letting out of air.
I looked over to Brie who was already on the attack getting me into a headlock. After a struggle, I managed to get her up in the air and drop her right down onto my knees into a backbreaker and I pushed on her chin. She was yelping so time for me to open my stupid mouth!
"I know you guys do that yoga stuff, so consider it yoga with just more pain!" I said.
You know what else comes with yoga? Unusual flexibility! Her knee made contact with my jaw causing me to loosen my grip. I felt Nikki grab my arms and place her boot on her back and begin pulling back in a modified surfboard. My arms felt like they were being pulled out of their sockets and thanks to She Who Shall Not Be Named my back was even worse. I noticed Brie standing in-front of me in a striking stance.
"Oh no." Was all I could muster up since I realized what was about ready to happen.
"YES!" She responded, even doing the taunt.
With no way to even block it with my arms, I know that those kicks would go straight at my chest. Kick one hurt like hell like a medicine ball hitting my chest. Kick two was even worse and kick three felt like my chest had caved in. Brie got on the floor as Nikki let go and I fell directly into the legs of Brie who locked into a side body-scissors. I was laying face down and slowly having the life squeezed out of me as Nikki watched. I was noticing a formula: Brie does most of the moves and Nikki jumped in when needed.
Nikki decided to jump in, grabbing my legs and turning into a Boston Crab/Body-scissors combination which was hurting like hell. In between trying to retain consciousness, I now dealing with more back pain and leg pain. Brie let go as Nikki sat on my back and proceed to loop my her legs under my arms for the dreaded Lotus Lock as I honestly felt like I my arms were going to pop off. She actually laid back and was cranking away at may arms when I realized I was trapped.
Nikki let go and got at eye-level with me and did the "You Can't See Me" taunt as she locked in the STF/STFU/Attitude Adjustment and it was in tight. I reached at her hands hoping to pry them apart but it was no good. I tried rolling to the side or doing anything as the panic began to set in. My neck was being cranked back along with my back and I had the general feeling of doom. I had to do something to get out.
"I give." I said hoping to end it.
"What was that?" She asked.
"I give up." I said.
"Yeah, we couldn't hear you, could you say a bit louder?" Nikki said, taunting me. Brie also said she couldn't hear me either.
"I GIVE UP." I finally said.
Nikki finally let go and Brie walked toward Nikki and tagged in. I guess she gets her licks in too.
Brie waited for me to rise to my feet, well onto all fours more or less and decided to pounce on me. She grabbed my arm and placed me in a kneeling armbar which felt like hell on my arms. She let go of the arm obviously pleased that I didn't give. Brie, who turned had a helluva mean streak as she turned me over and resumed choking me with her boot alternating between gut stomps.
I had more or less decided that the end was near as I laid flat on my back. She grabbed me by the hair and placed her calf under my neck. Down came her thigh, or a thigh scissors as she had her face against my thigh. Nikki joined in locking a body scissors in as I embraced my old friend the darkness.
Except that it wasn't time as they placed me in a sitting position as Brie grabbed my right arm and Nikki my left arm. Both of them placed a boot on my carotid artery and began to push with their boots. It was a sudden jolt of life followed by immense pain as the life drained out of me. I presume this wouldn't be used on as television as I felt the light slowly dim out, the mouse left the wheel in my brain. I was finally unconsciousness as the Bella's took some victory pose pictures, probably to show off.'
Short and brutal.