CELEB SEXFIGHT DEADLINE DEAL PUTS SHOW ON CABLE
In a last minute, midnight deadline, deal, the fledgling Celebrity Sexfight League reached agreement with a consortium of cable TV channels to broadcast live the PPV fights in the first-ever 2017 "Celebrity Sexfight Tournament." The first round of 'Group Play' will take place between November 6 and December 17. That will be followed by two 'knockout' rounds which will determine the first ever "Celebrity Sexfight League Championship Tag Team."
The new league, which features teams made up of A-list celebrities, B-listers. and porn actresses, had struggled unsuccessfully for over six months trying to find a media outlet to carry their contests before they admitted defeat and turned what had been seen as a naked grab for money into a "charitable" endeavor - gaining positive publicity for the league while giving cable TV networks eager for 'cutting edge' entertainment an excuse to pollute the airwaves with naked women writhing around faking orgasms. Or, it just could be that these 'athletic contests' are on the 'up and up', in which case millions of people will be glued to their digital big screen TV's cheering for their favorite celebrity!
At the last minute, just as negotiations were about to be terminated, the new league blinked and announced "all profits from this year's tournament" will be donated to a tax exempt charity set up to aid victims of "the hurricanes, floods, wildfires and the Las Vegas mass shooting." In addition, the CSL's Chief Operating Officer pledged to donate an amount equal to the profits of the first two PPV events from his "personal fortune."
The last minute turn from exploitation to charity shocked many in the entertainment world, but in addition to the change of heart by cable TV moguls, it also convinced many celebrities who had publicly stated they wanted "nothing to do" with the sexually charged nudity to reconsider their position when it was being presented as "a way to help the less fortunate." Within a day of the announcement, six A-list celebrities had signed on and several more were "considering" participating. Suddenly, what had once seemed an impossible dream, had now become a 48 woman certainty!
The Championship, and a sterling silver trophy valued at over $50,000 emblematic of sexfighting prowess, will be presented to the winning team after the championship match in Los Angeles, scheduled for the spring of 2018. The trophy, as yet unnamed, is the donation of several wealthy women of a certain age who declined to reveal their names, but said in a statement "We owe all the good that's happened to us in our lives to our careers in sexfighting, oil wrestling and pornography. We hope by our generosity to encourage more women to get into sexfight, stripping and fucking....especially those stuck up bitches who think that having their face on a 'big screen', a 'small screen' or wailing into an auto-tune, makes them a 'legitimate' celebrity. Face it ladies, you're all getting fucked one way or another. Deal with it!"