[Glamour Fights]

Click here for current standings and won/loss records

Joey Heatherton	Luciana Paluzzi
25 years old	32 years old
5'5” 112 lbs BMI: 18.7	5'5" 122 lbs BMI: 20.3
34C-20-32	36C-24-36
8th 42pts 21-6-0	11th 37pts 18-8-1

Two more gorgeous women who are both a bit on the feisty side. A blonde vs a dark reddish brunette that could be another classic catfight. Luciana hears Joey enter before she can put her pants on. Lucky for us as we get to see them fight with their legs uncovered. Luciana sexy as hell in a man’s shirt and Joey in a sexy teddy. Is that a perfect Serta for Joey and Luciana to fight on? Joey can move ahead of Raquel Welch and tie Linda Evans in a won/loss record. Senta can move into 4th place over Sybil Danning. That would make Joey beat a brunette to move ahead of a brunette and Senta to beat a blonde to move ahead of a blonde.
Joey Heatherton: Whether on the floor or on the bed, Luciana will be put to sleep between my perfect legs.
Luciana Paluzzi: Those legs perfect? HAH?!?! My legs are every bit as good as hers and my arms much stronger. I will twist her arms and legs up like a pretzel. I don’t think Joey will find this Serta so perfect.

Diane McBain	Ann-Margret
18 years old	28 years old
5'7" 118 lbs BMI: 18.5	5'5" 120 lbs BMI: 20.0
35C-23-34	35D-23-35
15th 28pts 14-13-0	2nd 50pts 25-2-0

Hold onto your seats, this could be a wild one. A young but very nasty blonde fighting a sweet but very tough redhead. Diane is super angry having lost three of her last four fights. She has sharpened her claws and is ready to rip Ann-Margret apart, including her face. Win and Diane could move ahead of Cathy Lee Crosby. Lose and she could suffer the indignity of dropping behind Victoria Principal and Sharon Tate. Ann-Margret is in 2nd place and chasing Elke Sommer who keeps on winning. Ann-Margret not only wants to beat Diane but do it badly to close the voting gap between her and Elke. Lots of blonde and red hair should be scattered all over after this one. I love the costumes both are wearing.
Diane McBain: Everyone talks about Ann-Margret’s dancers legs but they won’t do her much good when I yank her around by the hair. She will be pulled off her feet and dragged along the rough carpet. Her fat tits will bet carpet burns as Ann-Margret will end up bawling her eyes out. Isn’t Ann-Magret getting a little fat?
Ann-Margret: Diane is one of those stupid bitches that thinks all she has to do is to pull hair to win. There is more to catfighting than just pulling hair as Ms. McBain will quickly learn. A few fists to her gut will certainly slow her up, never mind the knee to her over used pussy..

Suzanne Somers	Loni Anderson
23 years old	24 years old
5'5½” 118 lbs BMI: 19.4	5'5” 120 lbs BMI: 20.0
35C-23-34	38E-25-36
18th 24pts 12-15-0	12th 36pts 17-8-2

An all blonde face off as Suzanne and Loni go at it. Physically they are evenly matched which would indicate a close fight. Suzanne is known for her exercise videos and her thigh master thighs. Loni has the biggest bosom in the tournament, both tournaments for that matter. I see Suzanne trying to crush Loni’s breasts between her thighs and Loni trying to smother Suzanne with her breasts. Loni has the better record and is shooting to move ahead of Luciana Paluzzi and closer to the top 10. Suzanne can’t move ahead of Sharon Tate and Victoria Principal but she could pull even in the won/loss record. On the other hand she could ball below little Tuesday Weld.
Suzanne Somers: While Loni is worried abut my thighs and trying to avoid them she will fall victim to my strong arms and bicep. A headlock bulldog take down will allow me to get her down. Then strategic hairpulling will trap her fat had and neck between my thighs. She will suffer greatly as I pull back on her chin and arch her back while flattening her fat boobs.
Loni Anderson: Won’t Suzanne be surprised when it is I who clamps the headlock on her. Once I secure that it is only a minute or two until I get her in a headlock – breast smother combination. And no one can breathe once my tits cover their face. Her face is so ugly it deserves to be covered and everyone will applaud me.

Farrah Fawcett	Goldie Hawn
22 years old	24 years old
5'5'½” 113 lbs BMI: 18.6	5'5" 118 lbs BMI: 19.7
33½B-22-33	34B-24-36
21st 20pts 10-17-0	32nd 3pts 1-25-1

An interesting venue as Farrah comes out in body paint and Goldie enters riding an elephant. Maybe she will command the elephant to step on Farrah? Farrah is feeling more confident after coming close to beating the nasty Diane McBain and holding her own against Joey Heatherton. She looks upon last placed Goldie as an easy victim. Goldie  gotten beaten up by several very tough fighters and may not be in the best of shape. But then she figures Farrah will be tired and demoralized after fighting Diane and Joey as hard as she could and still losing. Goldie figures her biceps are much stronger than Farrah’s and she will have Farrah at her mercy.
Farrah Fawcett: They only way Goldie can win is if she uses that elephant to step on me or to hold me with it’s trunk while she hits me. Ain’t goona happen. I am faster than Goldie and will make her chase me away from the elephant. Then I will show her how we Angel’s fight.
Goldie Hawn: Farrah has that famous mane she is so proud of. It is such a tempting target. Her scalp is already on fire from hard hairpulling by previous fighters as we all want to rip her fucking hair out. I am stronger than her. I know it. I will pull her head back by her hair and smash her right in that toothy grin. Farrah has the biggest, hardest nipples of anyone around. Once I get her down they will be the focus of my attack, torturing them until Farrah is begging me for mercy. No mercy will be shown..

Annette Funicello	Elke Sommer
27 years old	29 years old
5'3” 118 lbs BMI: 20.9	5'7" 125 lbs BMI: 19.6
36C-22-36	36B-22-36
24th 16pts 8-19-0	1st 52pts 26-1-0

Once again we have a brunette against a blonde. Given their records, body size, and presumed strength this looks like one in which the blonde should dominate the brunette. What’s more Elke is in first place and wants to stay ahead of Ann-Margret who beat her earlier. So Elke is not about to relax and take Annette for granted. To the contrary she will probably try and give her the worst beating this time. Annette has other ideas and is quite smart. Elke thought she had Annette convinced to fight in the nude but it looks like Annette has double crossed her and is wearing full length pants and a substantial looking top. We note that although Elke is bigger than Annette, Annette has the bigger bust. Is Elke trying to lure Annette into the forest, something she has done successfully before. Will Annette resist and make Elke come out onto the coarse sand to fight?
Annette Funicello: Elke’s IQ is less than her bust size which isn’t all that big to start off with. She is too cocky. I am going to love dragging her along the rough sand in the buff. Watch how much her backside, big ass, stomach, and tiny tits bet scraped as I drag her all over the place.
Elke Sommer: The fucking bitch is not very honorable. She acts sweet but she agreed to a nude fight. Now I see she is fully clothed and is out on the coarsest sand I have seen. Well she has to get me down for that to pay off. No way a weak little runt like her can do that. If we go down at all she will be buried under me so I am not worried abut the sand at all.

Stefanie Martine Beswick	Martine Beswick
27 years old	28 years old
5'7” 118 lbs BMI: 18.5	5'5” 128 lbs BMI: 21.3
36B-25-35	35B-25-37
29th 6pts 3-24-0	13th 30pts 15-12-0

Redheaded Stefanie takes on raven tressed Martine Beswick. Another fight that on paper could produce the worst beating this time around.  Martine will want to demolish Stefanie has she still has desires (or delusions?) of moving into the top 10 by tournament end. She certainly wants to stay ahead of blondes Cathy Lee Crosby and Diane McBain. For her part, Stefanie is always fighting to stay ahead of Jaclyn Smith and Nancy Kwan and not to fall all the way to last place. Stefanie is actually taller than Martine but Martine is heavier and claims to be a lot stronger. Martine tends to use brute force and vicious attacks to win whilst Stefanie is more a finesse fighter. Can Stefanie finesse her way to victory or will Martine brutalize her? Is Martine overconfident? Note the way she is tossing her hair as if she doesn’t have a care in the world.
Stefanie Powers: Martine is big and tough but she has not shown herself to be as good a fighter to match her physical prowess.  She is cocky and overconfident. That has been her downfall in the past and will be her downfall here. She gets careless and I know just how and when to strike. She will be tied up in knots before she knows what has happened.
Martine Beswick: Sorry, I may not be able to fight I am laughing so hard from Stefanie’s comments. Talk about false bravado. I am going to crush her even worse than I might normally just for the way she is mouthing off.
   

Sybil Danning	Victoria Principal
22 years old	19 years old
5'7” 120 lbs BMI: 18.8	5'5” 115 lbs BMI: 19.2
36C-24-36	37C-23-35
4th 46pts 23-4-0	16th 26pts 13-14-0

Nasty blonde vs sweet? redhead. Sybil has a reputation of being one of the nastiest and dirtiest of fighters be it of any hair color. She started out well but four losses have knocked her down to 4th place. She has to run the table to have any chance of gaining the title. She is even more upset after having lost to “creampuff” (Sybil’s words not mine) Jill St. John She is seeing read after losing to one redhead and vows to rip Victoria completely bald. Victoria is no pushover and has had some good wins. She knows how to fight and seems to relish and get up for particularly cheating catfighters like Sybil. Will she match nastiness with nastiness, tit for tit (sic). Victoria believes her tits are firmer than Sybil’s and are an advantage in the fight. Sybil looks all business and Victoria stands hands on hips as if challenging Sybil to get it on.
Sybil Danning: That flimsy dress will be ripped to shreds in two seconds flat. then I can torture her boobs with ripping ut her hair. She will go crying all the way back to Dallas. She will change her name from Victoria to Loseoria. HA HA HA HA!
Victoria Principal: It’s time she quite shouting her mouth off and come and get her punishment. I am ready for her. Don’t know what that triangle thing is that holds her dress together but it sure looks like a great weapon after I rip it off. Maybe I’ll even stab her titties with it. I will be as nasty as her or even nastier to teach the fucking whore a lesson.

Sharon Tate	Tuesday Weld
26 years old	26 years old
5'5” 112 lbs BMI: 18.7	5'4” 112 lbs BMI: 19.3
36B-22-35	32B-21-33
17th 26pts 13-14-0	19th 23pts 11-15-1

Two blondes who, admittedly, are lightweight and not the strongest performers. But both had shown a lot of heart and a lot of fighting spirit much beyond their physical stature. Tuesday has not chance of catching Sharon this time but she could move closer. And Sharon could actually move ahead of Victoria Principal and even vicious Diane McBain. A real feather in her cap so to speak. So I see claws extended and a nasty catfight as the two can battle each other evenly. Sharon is taller and thinner whilst Tuesday has the mechanical and rotational advantage of being a tad shorter.
Sharon Tate: I am going to go after Tuesday with everything I have. When I am finished Tuesday will be Wednesday’s child, full of woe. I am going to fling her about by the hair and then crush her with my stronger legs.
Tuesday Weld: Sharon has her hair in a bun but it won’t take me long to debun her. Her long hair will make the difference as I will get her down and step on it. Then drop down on her face to facesit her into submission.

[Vassago]

My thoughts on this round: 

Joey Heatherton vs Luciana Paluzzi
Both Joey and Luciana like to be aggressive and this will turn into a wild contest in a matter of seconds. Subsequently both women end up with numerous bloody scarfs on their faces and breasts as neither want to give an inch. There will be a lot of vocal abuse as both struggle for supremacy. In the end Luciana manages a hip toss on her rival and Joey lands on her ass which is enough for the Italian to turn Joey's face into a real mess. The blonde loses her vision once sweat covers her eyes and despite puting a big effort in this fight, she must yell out her defeat.

Diane McBain vs Ann-Margaret
I don't believe Ann Margaret's hair will be troubled by Diane in this fight. Despite her bold intentions, Diane is unable to grab Ann's flesh and gets whooped by a low-kick which she didn't even saw. Ann Margeret has big plans for the overall competition and ends up pounding Diane's brains out without any mercy whatsoever. The battered Diane gets then dragged around by the hair in a top dsplay of humiliation.

Suzanne Somers vs Loni Anderson
Looks like this might be the same beach where Dian Parkinson and Cathy Lee Crosby settled their feud. There's not a lot love lost between these two blondes either and Loni plans to humiliate Suzanne by using her thighs to force the submission. Suzanne immediately goes for Loni's boobs and plans to tear them apart, but Loni yanks Suzanne bu the hair and they both go down in the sand. After some back-and-forth rolling, Suzanne avoids getting smothered by her opponents tits and when she is just about to get up and kicks the lying Loni in the face, her neck gets trapped between Loni's thighs. Suzanne is strong enough to try get herself out of trouble, but Loni grabs her hair and continues to apply the headlock until Suzanne begins to whimper and her punches are weakening by the second. Suzanne then realizes she isn't doing Loni any damage and taps out her submission which Loni merrily accepts. Suzanne would be feeling a sore neck for some time after this fight!

Farrah Fawcett vs Goldie Hawn
Goldie follows the footsteps of Diane McBain and despite some bold prediction she'll get nowhere near Farrah Fawcett's hair. Instead she'll get whooped on her tiny butt in a matter of seonds as even the not so strong Charlie's Angel would be able to toss her around like a rag doll. Farrah won't be troubled at any stage of this fight and a multiple display of wrestling skills leave Goldie struggling to breathe and quitting after less then five minutes of action.

Annette Funicello vs Elke Sommer
A carbon copy of the previous fight with one woman tossing her rival around in a straight-forward fashion. There isn't going to be any upset here and Elke has a walk in the park over Annette which lasts no more then three minutes before the brunette is pinned into defeat.

Stefanie Powers vs Martine Beswick
Third fight in a row where one woman plains wrecks her opponent. Martine is on a winning rout lately and she easily overwhelms Stefanie and forces her on the ground where she pounds her brains out in a vicious fashion. Stefanie is unable to hit the brunette even once and gets knocked out badly in less then three minutes.

Sybil Danning vs Victoria Principal
Looks like Sybil in absolutely furious after going down to Jill St. John. She will show Victoria no mercy whatsoever and this turns into a brutal trashing with Sybil messing up her rival badly. Victoria gets a couple of punches on Sybil's face early on, but that makes things even worse as Sybil simply hits back twice as hard and Victoria is forced to retreat. But Sybil doesn't allow her to do so and mauls her on the ground where more punches in the face soften Victoria up for good. Sybil grabs Victoria's hair and keeps her on her knees while she stands up and kicks the aching readhead in the stomach until Victoria falls down in a loud cryout of pain. But Sybil isn't finished just yet, she rolls the redhead on her stomach and sits on her back. She then begins ripping Victoria's hair out as she promised to do. The battered redhead is unable to do anything about this and despite numerous tap outs, Sybil ignores them all until Victoria is left bald as a coot and completely humiliated.

Sharon Tate vs Tuesday Weld
Two lightweight blondes provide furious action with both trying to pull each other's hair out in the proccess. Blonde chunks are scattering the floor as Sharon and Tuesday maul themselves on the ground for control until Tuesday softens Sharon up with a few of punches to the face and a knee blow in the stomach. She then lays the aching rival on her back and facesits her into submission.

[byline]

This poll has been running for some time so I had better get my comments in before it is too late. Once again voters and I don’t always see eye to eye. Next time I will try and write sooner and write more.
 Joey Heatherton beats Luciana Paluzzi
Joey Heatherton outlasts Luciana Paluzzi. I love the sultry look of Luciana Paluzzi. This will be one of the longest and hardest fought matches. It is a battle of attrition and the younger blonde dancer has the greater stamina.
 
Diane McBain beats Ann-Margret
Ann-Margret has more stamina and is stronger than Diane McBain. Were this a long fight Ann-Margret would win. Diane knows how to use her opponent’s hair to control her and get her into a winning hold. Ann-Margret never gets to use her powerful legs or her stamina.

Suzanne Somers beats Loni Anderson
In the Senta Berger fight against Linda Evans I stated that stronger lower body strength will generally beat stronger upper body strength. Suzanne Somers is stronger in both over Loni Anderson. Loni has bigger tits but Suzanne has the stronger pecs behind those tits. Suzanne takes great pleasure in squashing Loni’s super tits in a bearhug to force her to admit Suzanne is better.

Farrah Fawcett beaten by Goldie Hawn
As I said this is not a good day for the Charlie’s Angels. Few seem to notice what a nice pair of biceps Goldie has. She twists poor Farrah’s arms into knots to show how much stronger her arms are.

Annette Funicello beaten by Elke Sommer
I would like to say how Annette Funicello beats Elke Sommer. Would love to, but I can’t. Elke toys with Annette and wastes time before she realizes that it would be better to give Annette the worst beat down. Is she too late or will she achieve it?

Stefanie Powers beaten by Martine Beswick
No one has to remind Martine Beswick to give Stefanie Powers a worst thrashing than anyone else does their opponent. It is her basic nature. Stefanie looks like she has added some weight in this photo to compete with Martine. Too bad it is fat she has added and not muscle. Martine humiliates Stefanie.

Sybil Danning beats Victoria Principal
Sybil Danning does not come in second best to Martine Beswick when it comes to being sister and cruel. Martine has the advantage in having a bigger physical mismatch against Stefanie and Sybil does against Victoria Principal. Victoria is also a better fighter than Stefanie. All the more motivation for Sybil and greater rewards if she destroys Victoria worse than Martine does Stefanie. Sybil sets out methodically and systematically to do that as she quickly disables Victoria then starts battering her.

Sharon Tate beats Tuesday Weld
Who is sexier? Who is weaker? My answer is Sharon in both cases. Tuesday looks leary of  Sharon in the photographs. Sharon doesn’t look very confident but gains confidence when she discovers she can push little Tuesday around. Sharon is able to roll around with Tuesday and then get on top to pin her. I like either a reverse face sit or a grapevine winning hold.

[Glamour Fights]

There is another back and forth battle going on between two beauties: Joey Heatherton and Luciana Paluzzi. Just thought I would bring it to your attention.

[Glamour Fights]

Thanks again for all the comments. Most of the fights had a clear winner predicted with byline almost always the lone holdout for the underdog. But even he went with the others with four fights being unanimous in the eyes of the experts.

Joey Heatherton vs 38 Luciana Paluzzi 40 {Pundits 2-2}: This was the closest fight of the round. It was an intense, hard fought battle but not quite as wild as the Jill Se. John vs Raquel Welch fight. A blonde vs brunette fight that went in favor of the brunette’s but barely. That is unless Luciana is considered a redhead. I’m not sure. The was the most back and forth fight of the round. The Senta/Linda and Jill/Raquel fights started out one-sided, then switched, then became back and forth at the end. But his fight was back and forth from the get go. Both fighters showed great skill and fantastic holds in putting their foe into a painful hold. But both refused to submit. They would escape and apply an equal punishing hold to the other. Hair pulling and slapping were equal also. The betting slowly moved in Joey’s favor as the thinking was her youth would prevail and her legs would be stronger to get a scissors submission. Luciana proved them wrong. She got Joey face down and applied a hammer lock while on her back. She forced Joey’s arm up into a chickenwing until some joint pops were heard. Joey called out her submission rather than having her elbow or shoulder broken.

Diane McBain 34 vs Ann-Margret 46 {Pundits 1-3}: Diane had vowed to rip Ann-Margret’s face off. Ann-Margret knew she was serious and came out a bit cautious. Ann-Margret still dominated the much weaker but sores nastier Diane but not as much as she might have had she not been worried about protecting her face at all times. I must report that Ann-Margret is a little miffed at me for saying Jill St. John is more beautiful and sexier than her. “I whipped that soft phony when we met and proved I am the far superior woman.” I couldn’t help myself, I responded “Since you lost to Senta Berger does that make her the better redhead than you?” “Arrange another match and we shall see who comes out on top!” blasted Ann-Margret back to me.

Suzanne Somers 33 vs Loni Anderson 47 {Pundits 1-3}:Most experts predicted a win for Line with byline once again having the dissenting view. Barbosa predicted it would be one-sided which it was as Loni gave Suzanne the 6th worst beating. Realisticman was most realistic in how the fight shaped up. It was super thighs against super boobs. Loni proved you can’t apply a crushing scissors when you can’t breath because of tit flesh covering your face.

Farrah Fawcett  62 vs Goldie Hawn 17  {Pundits 3-1}: Where has this Farrah been in the tournament. OK, so I wasn’t as brash as byline in thinking Goldie had the much stronger biceps. But I did think the two were fairly evenly matched physically. Turns out the other experts were right on the money as they all predicted an easy win for Farrah. WOW! It not only was the easiest win but the worst beat down this round. In fact it not only was the worst beat down this round, but the second worst beat down for all time, being only surpassed by Sybil Danning’s beating of Jaclyn Smith by 101-2. Farrah just scoffed  at Goldie’s display of a bicep. As predicted by Vasago she tossed Goldie around like a rag doll. When she wasn’t tossing her she was dragging Goldie around by the hair. Was Goldie dazzled and blinded by Farrah’s gold body paint? No, said Farrah, she is just that weak and no match for any Charlie’s Angel.

Annette Funicello 23 vs Elke Sommer 57 {Pundits 0-4}: Easy to see why all the experts picked Elke to win an easy fight. She is the current leader and Annette has struggle to win most of her fights. Annette did pull a coup in getting Elke to fight naked while Annette wore pants to protect her from the coarse, grainy sand. Elke isn’t as stupid as Annette thinks although I think they are few who would claim Elke is the brightest pea in this pod. I’m not saying Elke is stupid just that there are many very bright women in this tournament. Elke even up the odds by immediately stripping Annette of her pants. She used the pants to bind Annette’s arms and then removed the rest of her clothing. Elke did make a slight miscalculation. With Annette’s legs tied together she couldn’t pull Annette’s undies down and off. So she had to rip them off giving Annette a very painful wedgie. Elke did have her fun toying and playing with Annette so she only gave her the 3rd worst beating this round.

Stefanie Powers 31 vs Martine Beswick 48 {Pundits 0-4}:No gave Stefanie a snow ball’s chance in hell of winning this fight. Martine did give her a thrashing but no where near the worse beat down. My take is that Martine was just going through the motions which is perhaps an even bigger insult to Stefanie’s ineptness. I think after several losses, Martine is as motivated in ripping her rival apart as she once was. She had better change her attitude or she might lose some more fights. Or maybe Martine was just trying to prove she could beat Stefanie with one hand tied behind her back.

Sybil Danning 62 vs Victoria Principal 18 {Pundits 4-0}: No one gave Victoria Principal a chance in this fight. All predicted it would be a thrashing and Sybil certainly seemed bent on getting the worst bead down. Coming in second to Farrah Fawcett beating Goldie Hawn seems like a loss to her. All experts predicted that Sybil would be furious after losing to Jill St. John. Sybil also noted that Victoria was a redhead and so ripping her apart would gain her some revenge for her loss. We do duly know that Sybil didn’t manage to win the beat down this round but she did set the third worst beat down of all rounds just behind what Farrah did this time and way behind what she did to Jaclyn Smith back in round 14..

Sharon Tate 37 vs Tuesday Weld 42 {Pundits 1-3}: Sharon and Tuesday looked to be a close match up. Sharon had the slightly better record but the experts gave the nod to Tuesday. You know who held out for Sharon….All predicted a close fight. Byline was accurate in predicting that Sharon would try to push Tuesday around. Tuesday pushed right back with equal success. Vasago described the subsequent action most accurately. The action was fast and furious and only two such lightweights can produce such fast action. To steal what Vasago wrote “Two lightweight blondes provide furious action with both trying to pull each other's hair out in the proccess. Blonde chunks are scattering the floor as Sharon and Tuesday maul themselves on the ground for control until Tuesday softens Sharon up with a few of punches to the face and a knee blow in the stomach. She then lays the aching rival on her back and facesits her into submission.” Byline got the ending right of a facesit it is just he had the wrong sex symbol doing the face sitting.