2000 TournamentRound 1 (Continued)
Naomi Campbell V Catherine Zeta-Jones
They were covered in mud as they rolled about, the fight raging on between them but it was Catherine who appeared to have the upper hand. She gritted her teeth and cranked a tight headlock on the supermodel.
“You’ll regret that, darling,” snarled Naomi as she clawed at Catherine’s hair, trying to force the Welshwoman to release her.
“Do you ever shut up?” asked Catherine as she tightened the hold further, drawing a groan from her rival. “Talk about deluded. Imagine thinking you’re some kind of badass bitch because you pose on a runway.”
Not one to take such disrespect lying down, Naomi reached down and hooked her fingers in Catherine’s panties. Summoning all her strength, she yanked them up, giving Catherine a cruel front wedgie. The movie star gave a high-pitched scream. She attempted to fight through the pain and keep her headlock applied but the chafing of her pussy was beginning to burn and she was forced to release the captive model.
“You cxnt!” cried the movie star in shock at Naomi’s depravity before the ebony goddess pounced on her, applying a hammerlock and forcing her face down to the mud.
“Oh but I
am a badass bitch,” smiled Naomi as she enjoyed Catherine’s predicament. “Not because I pose on a runway, but because I OWN the runway. Just like England owns Wales. Just like I own you.”
Keeping her hammerlock applied, Naomi reached behind her and gave Catherine’s panties another sharp tug, laughing as she inflicted another wedgie on the Welsh beauty.
“I always wanted to know, little Zeta,” began Naomi as she enjoyed her dominance. “Does your old fossil of a husband manage to please you? Could you not get a man that doesn’t need a Zimmer?”
Naomi laughed uproariously but Catherine was furious. She struggled beneath Naomi until the supermodel lost her balance just a little. She was still face down in the mud but she had enough space to reach up and pull Naomi down by the hair, thus freeing herself.
Catherine slapped her face with lefts and rights. She was irate and she was not stopping until she had truly taken Naomi down a peg. Naomi tried to squirm free but Catherine wrapped her legs around her body, holding her in place so that she could continue to slap her.
“Let…me…go!” Naomi called out in desperation. She hadn’t realised what she had unleashed in CZJ but the slapping barrage continued until Naomi’s eyes were watering and her cheeks were reddened.
Finally, Catherine forced Naomi’s arms up into a full nelson, while also keeping her bodyscissors applied. With the pain now spreading all over Naomi’s body, the supermodel realised the fight was over.
“Alright, I submit,” growled Naomi. “Get the hell off me.”
But Catherine wasn’t budging yet. “You want to shit talk me, my country, my husband and expect me just to let your sorry ass go when you say? Not happening, asshole.”
Catherine kept the hold locked in for another two minutes. All Naomi could do was gasp and groan pathetically as she was dominated. Catherine finally rose and kicked her aside. She reached down and ripped Naomi’s white panties right off her body and stuffed them into the beaten woman’s mouth.
“Keep your big mouth shut next time, you piece of shit.”
Janet Jackson V Britney Spears
There was a hell of a lot of pressure on Britney coming into this tournament. Not only was she the youngest entrant, but she had made a splash in the entertainment industry that had already launched her fame beyond her rivals. She knew there was a target on her back, that everyone here was just waiting for a chance to humiliate her.
But she had acquitted herself well so far against the more experienced Janet. They stood now toe to toe, trading slaps, neither one ready to admit defeat. That was until Janet connected with a brutal belly punch that doubled the blonde over.
“Come on, say it!” urged Janet. “Hit Me Baby One More Time,” she sang in an exaggerated imitation of Britney as she drove her knee into Britney’s gut. This time the force was enough to send Britney crumbling to the ground, gasping and clutching her midsection.
Janet pulled her up onto her knees by her pretty blonde hair. “I almost feel sorry for you, honey. Put into competition against real women that you’re clearly not equipped to handle. But man, I’m gonna enjoy this….”
But we never found out what Janet’s plans were. Britney had thrust her arm up as hard as she could between Janet’s legs. The low blow sent shockwaves through her body and she was still reeling when Britney grabbed her legs and tripped her to the ground.
“This is how we fight in the 21st century, grandma!” cried Britney triumphantly. She knew the finishing line was in sight but she wasn’t 100% sure how to press her advantage. She racked her brain to come up with a way to knock a woman out and hurriedly decided to sit on Janet’s face until she passed out.
She dashed to Janet’s head and planted her ass on her face, blocking her airways. Britney didn’t have the experience or the sheer volume of booty of someone like Jennifer Lopez, so Janet was intermittently able to free her nose long enough to inhale some air but Britney was like a dog with a bone. Whatever she lacked in experience, she made up for in determination, refusing to be budged by Janet’s flailing arms or squirming movements and always prepared to stuff Janet’s head back beneath her crotch or butt whenever it peeked out.
This went on for some time until she got Janet into an inescapable position. All Janet could think of was Britney’s scent filling her lungs and the horrifying knowledge that she had been humbled by a mere teenager. Then everything went black.
With Janet out, Britney rose and beamed with pride. They thought she was a lamb to the slaughter but she had shown everyone that she could fight. Maybe this tournament could be fun after all…
Shana Twain V Halle Berry
They clashed again in a furious tangle and again it was Shania who was unceremoniously thrown to the ground.
“Come on,” taunted Halle. “Where’s that farm girl strength?”
“Slut,” muttered Shania as she picked herself up and tried unsuccessfully to brush the mud off her clothes and body. And then she charged.
She sprinted at Halle and drove her shoulder into the actress’ midsection in some kind of football tackle but Halle was ready for her. She had braced herself for the Canadian’s attack and though the blow still hurt, it didn’t take her off her feet. Instead, she was able to catch Shania in a front facelock.
With her head trapped under the arm of her opponent, it was clear that Shania was in trouble. Halle sprang into action, delivering clubbing blows to her back and driving her knee into the toned abs of the trapped singer. All the while, she was increasing the pressure of the facelock and Shania was struggling to breathe.
Slowly, the onslaught took its toll as Shania sank to her knees with Halle on top of her. The dark-skinned actress flipped the hapless Shania onto her back and wrapped her strong legs around her head in a tight headscissors.
Shania flailed and kicked with fierce determination to escape. She sank her nails deep into Halle’s thighs until the Hollywood star grabbed her wrists and held them out to the sides.
“That don’t impress
me much!” said Halle with a mischievous gleam in her eye. “Submit, country bitch, that pretty little face is already turning red.
It was true. Her airways had been compromised for too long and Shania was choking and spluttering, squirming but making absolutely no progress in escaping the hold. She refused to quit but could feel herself fading.
“Tough little farm girl, aren’t you?” smiled Halle. She could feel Shania growing weaker between her thighs. She released Shania’s wrists but instead of renewing her attack on Halle’s legs, they just dangled uselessly. Halle patted her victim’s head condescendingly.
Finally, Shania went completely limp and the match was over. Halle rose to her feet, placed a foot on Shania’s stomach and raised her arms in a victory pose. She had got through her first round with little difficulty and was already looking forward to her next opponent.
Tyra Banks V Angelina Jolie
“It’ll be fun having my very own model to pose,” said Angelina with a smirk, enjoying the dominance she had established over the course of the fight.
“Drop dead, cow!” came Tyra’s response which only served to amuse her foe.
Angelina had won a test of strength with Tyra and pushed her up against a tree.
“Bend over!” called Angelina, imitating some kind of depraved fashion photographer. She punched Tyra in the gut, forcing the supermodel to obey her command. “Give me the money shot,” she said as she slapped the groaning Tyra on the back of the head. “Eat dirt!” she cried out as she threw Tyra to the boggy ground. Angelina was revelling in her little game.
Lying face down in the muck, Tyra had rarely felt so insulted. She turned on her back and bared her teeth like a wounded tigress. As the cocky Angelina approached to continue her punishment, Tyra swung her long leg as hard as she could, connecting painfully with Jolie’s knee.
Angelina’s startled cry as her hand instinctively went to her wounded knee was music to Tyra’s ears. The supermodel smiled and connected with another kick to the movie star’s thigh.
“Yeah, let’s make those fat lips pout for me!” Tyra laughed before aiming another kick at her enemy.
But this time Jolie was ready for her. She caught Tyra’s leg mid-swing and used it to turn her back over onto her stomach. Then she displayed unexpected skill in bending it and sitting back in her hold, trapping Tyra in a single-leg crab.
Tyra had never had her famous legs used against her in this manner. She cried out in agony as Jolie kept the pressure on. Tighter and tighter she seemed to apply it, with pain surging through Tyra’s leg and back.
“Aaaaaaahhh!” screamed Tyra. “I give! I give!” This type of hold was far more pain than Tyra had ever expected to be faced with at a celeb tournament.
Angelina chuckled. “Are you my little model to pose as I see fit?” she asked cheekily. There was a pause broken by Tyra’s strangled cry as Angelina wrenched her leg once again.
“Yes! I don’t care, I’ll do what you want!” squealed poor Tyra.
“That’s the spirit” chortled Angelina, at last letting go of the torturous hold. “Kneel before me.” Tyra was too preoccupied with nursing her aching leg and gasping for breath to rush to perform any tasks but a yank of her hair reminded her that Angelina expected to be obeyed.
Forced onto her knees, Tyra looked up resentfully at the proud and beaming Jolie. “Come on, smile,” barked Angelina. Tyra gave a half-smile, unable to muster much sincerity.
“A little better,” mused Angelina. “Now, bow to your mistress.” Tyra remained kneeling, her faux smile vanishing, replaced with a furious scowl. Angelina responded by taking her by the neck and thrusting her face down on the ground in a kind of warped bow before her.
“You’ve never looked better,” said Angelina coldly.
