I posted a poll a few weeks back to determine who would win a Best of 3 Falls Pro Match between these two. The people spoke, and Kaley took a very commanding victory over the brunette. That inspired Amateur, one of the best writers around PERIOD, to put together a little match between the two, and I asked his permission to share it here. He was upfront in admitting that some readers may recognize some of the passages...Amateur thought it would be amusing to adapt bits and pieces from some of his favorite stories by others in order to construct this match...consider it a loving homage to the creativity of others. 
Enjoy...!
Kaley Cuoco
Mila Kunis
At the start of the match the two lock up in the middle of the ring and immediately it’s apparent that Kaley’s size advantage isn’t just for show as Mila is steadily bulldozed into a corner, despite all her efforts to push back. Smirking, the blonde backs off a step and slams a foot into the brunette’s belly, doubling her over. A kick to the chest makes Mila straighten up with a yelp of pain. Crowding her opponent into the corner, Kaley now begins to choke the brunette, prompting the referee to start a count. She releases her grip at “four”, only to reapply it moments later. Desperately trying to fight her assailant off, Mila hammers some punches into Kaley’s body, but only succeeds in angering the blonde, who now sends the smaller girl clean to mid-ring with a Hair Mare
Striding confidently over to her moaning foe, Kaley bends down with the intention of picking Mila up by the hair and her chin stops the brunette’s rising fist.
Jumping up, Mila uses the opportunity to trip her clearly staggered opponent and rolls her over into a Small Package for a quick pin while the surprised blonde kicks and twists with desperate urgency.
“One… two… thr…”
Just as the ref’s hand is coming down to slap the mat for the third time, Kaley somehow manages to power out of her predicament, kicking her foe away.
The two get up and begin trading blows urged on by the frenzied crowd. Mila’s hands prove faster and she lands more punches than her rival, but Kaley’s shots are heavier and do more damage, rocking the brunette and sending her back on unsteady legs.
Angered by nearly getting pinned and determined to end this quickly, Kaley goes after her reeling foe and whips her into the ropes, then meets her with a devastating Clothesline. Mila’s feet skid from under her and she sprawls on her back with a jarring thud, hitting the back of her head in the process. Both winded and dazed, Kunis hardly knows where she is or what is happening at this point and offers little resistance when Kaley picks her up and sets her up for a big (and largely unnecessary) Piledriver . Dropping down for a perfunctory pin, Cuoco waits for the three count then rises up with a big grin to accept the cheers as the winner of the first fall.
Mila doesn’t look in too good a shape and the people in her corner work feverishly to get her ready.
The second fall starts and Kaley continues right from where she left off, pounding her smaller foe from pillar to post, completely ignoring Mila’s attempts to fight back.
“You’re done, bitch!” the blonde growls at Kunis, while repeatedly slamming the brunette’s forehead into the turnbuckle, causing the spectators to count aloud. “I suggest you quit before I get pissed off and really hurt you! You’re way out of your league here!”
“FUCK YOU!” Mila shouts and emphasizes her point with an elbow to Cuoco’s ribs.
More angered than hurt, Kaley whips the brunette into the opposite corner and charges after her, leaping in the air to slam into Kunis and flatten her properly. Instead she slams chest-first into the turnbuckle when Mila nimbly slips out of the corner.
Gasping and holding her chest, Kaley now turns around to face her foe and gets her eyes raked by Kunis, who has reached the obvious conclusion that she needs to fight dirty in order to make up for Cuoco’s greater strength.
As the temporarily blinded blonde shrieks and stumbles around, Mila shoves her into the corner and delivers a series of brutal Chops to Kaley’s unprotected chest that could be heard around the globe and draw half-empathetic, half-gleeful groans from the crowd.
Hurt and angered just about equally now, Kaley starts to shove her way out of the corner, then falls flat on her face when the crafty brunette trips her. Mila is upon her opponent in a flash and before Kaley knows what is going on, her left arm is trapped between Kunis’ thighs and her head is painfully twisted by brunette’s locked hands. It’s a perfectly executed Crossface!
Seeing where this is going, Kaley goes berserk, screaming and kicking and writhing and heaving, doing all she could to escape the devastating hold.
“No!” Mila says in a cold, even voice. Calm and focused, the brunette maintains her controlling position, cranking up the hold, putting more and more pressure on Cuoco’s neck, fully aware that she had the blonde now.
Spurred by the excruciating pain, Kaley all but thrashes the ring to bits in her titanic efforts to break free. She is hurt, frightened and mad all at once. She knows she is stronger, she knows she is better and she knows she should be winning this fight easily. She also knows she has been had and there is nothing she can do about it.
“Submit!” Mila orders in the same unemotional voice. “I’m better and we both know it! Just quit and let get this over with!”
“NO!” Kaley screams fiercely, continuing her struggling. Her pretty face a mask of agony, she twists and squirms but still can’t free herself. Nor can she force a break of the hold by reaching the bottom rope; it’s way too far and she can’t get there no matter how much she stretches her trembling arm. Then suddenly, because the pain is too great, and mostly because she realizes there is nothing else she can do, she begins to cry.
On top and in complete control, Mila allows herself a smug smile. She knows it’s over now.
Remarkably, it takes quite a few more seconds of torture, but in the end, the inevitable happens and Kaley is completely broken. She taps the canvas with her free hand, lightly at first, then, as the hold is still kept on, she slaps it harder and faster, whimpering, pleading to be released.
Even though she has clearly won, Mila stubbornly refuses to break the hold and continues to pour the hurt onto her trapped opponent, just to prove her point. It takes some serious efforts by the referee to prize Kunis off of Cuoco, who at this point is bawling like a baby without caring if the whole world saw her doing it.
Grinning, gloating, pumping her fists in the air, Mila struts around the ring, now taking her turn to bask in the crowd’s adulation. There are a few boos as well, for her not releasing the Crossface in time, but she could not care less about that. She has won the second fall and she knows she would win the third – and the match – and that’s all that matters to her. She literally bounces to her corner, all smiles and satisfaction.
Kaley on the other hand has to be carried back to her corner where her camp have their work cut out for them. She is physically hurt and that needs some attending to, no doubt about it, but calming her down seems to be the greater challenge.
As the third and decisive fall starts, it soon becomes apparent that Kaley is everything but calm. She is no longer crying but she is absolutely livid. She wants revenge at all costs and goes after her foe with the reckless abandon of a madwoman.
Just what Mila wants.
Bobbing and weaving, easily dodging the enraged blonde’s wildly flailing arms and legs, Kunis aims her attacks with surgical precision, targeting Kaley’s body and especially her already damaged neck. Pounded by a barrage of punches and chops, Cuoco is soon a frustrated, sweaty mess, hurt and forced to retreat constantly. Stepping up her attack, Mila now once again manages to back the blonde into a corner and treats her already aching chest to another series of blistering Chops. A few good knees to the midriff and Kaley is suddenly down on her knees struggling to catch her breath.
“Not so tough now, are we?” Mila mocks her downed foe and picks her up by the hair, preparing to Irish whip her into the ropes. At the last moment Kaley reverses, sending Mila into the ropes and then sets herself to meet the brunette with a Clothesline. Kunis ducks, then bounces off the ropes on the opposite side of the ring and Spears Cuoco, sending her down. As Kaley curls up on her side, hugging herself and moaning, Mila kicks her viciously in the kidneys and then adds insult to injury by grabbing the back of the blonde’s skin-tight short shorts and giving her a painful and humiliating wedgie.
“Wassamatter, Cuoco?” Mila asks smugly as she stomps her opponent, “You gonna start cryin’again? Go ahead! We all saw you for the whiny little bitch you are already, so it’s not like you can embarrass yourself any worse!”
“Tell you what,” the now dominant brunette continues pouring on the vitriol, reveling in her moment of glory “It’s obvious that you’ve had enough, so I’m gonna take it easy on you and let you quit! All you have to do is kiss my ass, right here, in front of everybody, and I’ll let you go home to your mommy and cry all you want!”
Goaded by anger, Kaley tries to rise but her battered body can’t quite make it and she starts crawling on her hands and knees, looking to get to the ropes and use them to pull herself up.
“That’s right, bitch,
crawl!” Mila says derisively and kicks Kaley squarely in the ass. “On all-fours, like a good little doggie!” Quite liking kicking her foe’s ass, she now does it again. And again.
The wedgie has caused most of the fabric of Kaley’s skimpy shorts to disappear between the two shapely orbs of her taut derriere leaving them completely exposed and Mila now uses the opportunity to land a huge slap on one of them, causing the glistening flesh to jiggle and drawing a huge “OOOOHHHHHH!” from the appreciative crowd. She also draws a squeal of both pain and indignation from Kaley, who now somehow makes it to her feet, her face dark with humiliation.
“YOU BITCH!” Kaley screams and charges her opponent with a snarl.
Mila throws herself sideways and tangles her legs with Kaley’s tripping the blonde. Cuoco lands awkwardly, her throat falling right on the middle rope. Kaley’s choked gasp is followed by some gurgling as Mila quickly makes it to her feet and plants a knee on the back of the blonde’s neck, effectively using the rope to strangle her. The ref steps in and starts another count but “five” can’t come quickly enough for a crimson-faced Kaley, who is now decidedly on the receiving end of the beating of a lifetime.
Mila grabs a handful of blonde locks and half-walks, half-drags Kaley away from the ropes taunting her all the while. A huge DDT plants Cuoco’s forehead right in the middle of the ring, leaving the blonde in a haze.
“Pathetic!” Mila shakes her head scornfully looking at her prostrate foe, “Well, time to end this! I’ve more important things to do than waste my time beatin’on a
loser like you! I’ve shown everyone I’m better than you; that all that matters!”
Rolling Kaley over on her back, Kunis now grabs an arm and a leg and drags the blonde’s limp body nearer one of the corners, positioning her carefully to set her up for the big finish.
Kaley realizes what’s going on, but is just too spent to offer any real resistance. As if in a dream – a nightmare in fact – she sees Mila climb up on the ropes. She knows she needs to get out of there, but is unable to rise, or roll over. And she simply can’t understand why this is happening. What was supposed to be an easy win has now turned into the most humiliating defeat.
Mila is now standing up on the top rope. Once again tears start to well up in Kaley’s eyes. She is beaten and she knows it.
“No!” the blonde whispers pleadingly as she watches the brunette wave her arms, working the crowd, milking the moment for all it’s worth.
Amidst the deafening roar of the spectators, Mila’s sleek form gracefully somersaults backwards and splashes down hard. Straight onto Kaley’s knees, which the blonde has somehow managed to pick up. The impact causes Kunis to bounce right back up in the air before landing on the canvas several feet away, where she lies on her side, holding her midriff and kicking feebly.
The crowd is now shouting encouragement to both wrestlers, urging them to get up, but the brutal battle has taken its toll and the two just lie there for what seemed an eternity trying to recover.
Amazingly, it’s Kaley that gets to her feet first. Her superior conditioning is now coming into play and allowing her to find some hidden reserves of energy.
There is an icy glare in Cuoco’s eyes as she approaches her stricken foe. She’s all business now, and not about to make the mistake of showboating, which has just cost Kunis this match.
The Boston Crab nearly snaps Mila’s body in half. Screaming as her spine is bent agonizingly, the brunette paws frantically at the canvas, but her hands are unable to find any purchase on the smooth surface and with Kaley’s weight on her back she has nowhere to go. All she can do is lie there and soak up the unbearable pain, which is made even worse by the realization of the fact that she is now utterly helpless.
“Give it up!”Kaley snarls leaning back into her hold, using all her energy to put more and more pressure on her trapped opponent. “Give, you bitch, or I’ll snap you like a twig!”
Throwing some weight behind her words, the blonde now starts bouncing up and down, her beautifully rounded ass slamming down on Mila’s contorted frame, adding to the torment and suddenly it’s the brunette’s turn to start crying loudly in agony and frustration.
Mila’s anguished sobs do Kaley a world of good, but still the blonde won’t relent. Forcing tears from her opponent is just fine as far as payback goes, but she wants a submission to make her victory official.
The submission comes not too long afterwards when the pain and the sheer hopelessness of her situation prove too much for Mila to handle and she starts tapping and begging for mercy. The bell rings and a gasping, panting Kaley rises up as the winner of the third fall and the match. She accepts the cheers of the crowd but, doesn’t appear too exulted. Instead, she feels mainly relieved; she knows how close she had come to being beaten by her smaller foe, whom she had so imprudently underestimated. She also won’t allow the ref to raise her hand. She is not done yet.
Grabbing a handful of Mila’s hair, she roughly pulls the whimpering brunette to her feet. A swift kick to the belly doubles Mila over and a moment later her head is trapped between Kaley’s thighs. Wrapping her arms around Mila’s waist, the blonde heaves up and nearly drives the brunette through the ring with a shattering Powerbomb. Mila’s spread limbs give couple of convulsive jerks and she lies still, out like a light.
Planting a boot on Kunis’chest, Kaley raises her arms in triumph and asks the ref to count to ten. With the unconscious brunette not showing any signs of life, the count is duly completed and so is Cuoco’s hard-earned but sweet victory.
