A slightly different dialogue, similar to that in this story, between me and Lindsay Hayward actually occurred (without the threats and name calling). She did make the remark about Katy Perry in which she compared her to 'unappetising food' after feeling offended at my reply to the photo she posted in a blog. The incredible event I dreamed of has arrived!...
KATY PERRY and me are a tag team in the ring!
But how has that unusual and exhilarating occasion become possible? -
The answer lies within recent events...
One morning , while I was thinking only nice things and no evil, I discovered a food picture posted on the internet by the world's tallest female wrestler Lindsay Kay Hayward (6'9" in bare feet) which looked rather unhealthy and unattractive to me. The following dialogue between us occurred:
Me: I thought food pictures are supposed to be appetising?
Lindsay: I thought Katy Perry was supposed to be so too.
Me: You're a nasty bitch!
Lindsay: Careful, little man! I'll fucking break you in halves as easily as I would that skinny little girl!
Me: Shut up before I make you regret this!
Lindsay: You wish! Go worship your little damsel and be glad I haven't crushed her under my feet yet!
After Lindsay's audacity of virtually calling Katy Perry unappetising every effort was taken to hide that woman's nasty remark from Katy Perry - however, unfortunately the pop princess herself that morning browsed the internet and incidentally found Lindsay's message.
Shortly afterwards, I received an angry message from Katy Perry:
'See what you've done, you idiot! I can't let that pass unnoticed - now I'll have to fight that bitch who's fourteen inch taller and nearly twice my weight!'
I hastened to pacify the princess to avoid any
bad blood between us and assured her:
'Dear Miss Perry!
It is to my utter regret that I have caused such grievance - however, now that the damage is done and I am verily outraged not less than yourself at the vile insult directed at you please let me join you in the necessary undertaking of teaching Lindsay Hayward a lesson! As a tag team in the ring we will bring the enormous woman, literally, to her knees and I guarantee you that she will at the end of our battle do nothing but apologise to you for her grave and uncalled for insult!'
Katy Perry agreed to my suggestion and, in a towards me forgiving mood, informed Lindsay Hayward that she will battle her in the ring at the side of the man who will in a combined effort force her to express her deep regrets at her own behaviour.
Lindsay Hayward then sent us a video in which, under her roaring laughter, she described to us how she would grind all our bones to powder in her bare hands, and voiced even further insults at both us.
Now the time as come - Katy Perry and me have both entered the ring to face Lindsay Hayward...
Katy Perry: 5'7", 59 kg
Lindsay Hayward: 6'9", 118 kg
Me: 6'0.5", 74 kg
Katy Perry and me are determined to destroy the giantess Lindsay in this match inside a ring.
Lindsay has kept mocking us and telling her fans that we pose no threat to her.
Now is the moment in which Katy Perry and me have to prove that with our combined efforts and strength we can conquer Lindsay. KATY PERRY:
LINDSAY HAYWARD:
Kay
