Dreams of the Killing Haze Part 2
We slammed together in the middle of my bare living room and latched onto each other’s hair. I immediately felt her long nails rake at my scalp as she dug into my hair. We wrenched our heads back and forth, screaming obscenities! I had never known my mother to be this strong; she was getting the better of me. I yanked hard on the back of her silky blonde hair; a yelp of pain from her red lips was my reward.
“YOU BITCH!!!” Joyce screamed! She then pivoted her body and hip tossed me by my hair to the floor! WTH!!!! Who was I fighting here?!?! She had never had any training like that before, my brain was to slow to realize this was all in my head.
I landed with a painful thud, knocking all the air from my lungs. She landed crossways across my upper body. Her left elbow pressed hard against my cheek, mashing my face into the carpet. I was trying to suck in air but it was so hard with her pressed down on me. I balled up a left fist and started to throw short punches at her head, neck and the side of her ear. She laughed as my weak attempts to fight her off were not working.
“You still think you can beat me,” she hissed into my ear, “You are too weak you little cxnt!!! I cannot believe I gave you life!”
I reached up and grasped her ear with my left hand, dug my nails in and pulled! She screamed bloody murder but I was able to pull her away enough to free my head. I sunk my teeth into her forearm. I held on for dear life as she tried to wrestle her arm free. I kicked up with my legs and hips and rolled us completely over so I was now sideways on top of her. I struggled my damnedest to stay on top but her strength was amazing. She practically threw me off of her and I scrambled to my knees. As I turned back towards her, she was already coming at me, claws poised for attack. She tackled me to my back again, her body pressed down on top, claws digging into my forehead and face!
“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!” I cried out as she tore furrows into my face. Her face was a mask of rage and pleasure as she tried to destroy me.
I turned my head back and forth to try and stop the scratching and clawing of my face. Her hips straddled my waist, legs locked under mine, holding me down. She grabbed both of my wrists and stretched my arms up over my head. Her large bra covered breasts pressed down onto mine.
“You pathetic excuse for a woman!!!” Joyce said with malice in her voice, “No one is going to save you, not your friends, not your family, you are on your own!”
I kept thinking this is my dream, why can’t I do something more, why can’t I dominate this fight, why is she so much stronger than I am! Her words, all of them, were resonating in my brain. Maybe I couldn’t beat her, maybe this was my punishment, maybe she was the angel of death and this was how I was going to go out.
She slammed her forehead down into my face! Stars exploded in my eyesight, pain like I had not felt in a long time came to me, I could taste my own blood. I opened my tear filled eyes to see her grinning at me. Seeing my pain gave her happiness. Fuck this bitch, I thought in my mind. I spit blood into that smiling face. I felt her grasp on my wrists loosen and I wrenched them free. I dug ten nails into that pretty face of hers and went to town; we rolled again to our sides as she tried to grab at my wrists again. I went for her eyes, she was able to grab my wrists and pull them away before I could get to them. Her feet somehow found my stomach and she pushed off sliding my across the carpet. I felt the rug burn from my shoulder to my thigh. I rolled painfully over and got to my hands and knees, blood dripped from my face to the carpet, staining it crimson. I looked at her rise, she had a few scratches but nothing like what she did to me. I rushed over and slammed her right leg into my side!
UUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! I coughed and spit up more blood! My body raked with pain. I was flipped over to my back, she added a stomp to my belly that again expelled all the air from me. I was coughing and gurgling blood. She straddled my waist again. She reached up to my bra and yanked the cups down, exposing my breasts. I looked up and it seemed like her nails were growing! She gouged her talons into my breasts, I arched my back in the most intense pain I have ever felt! I screamed out, but could not move my arms!
“This is inevitable, Anna,” she said in a soft voice, almost soothing, “You gave up on life, you made a choice that hurt everyone around you. When you realize and accept that, then maybe you can beat me…..”
My world faded to black as I screamed!!!!
I woke to nurses over me trying to hold me down, I heard rapid beeping, my body was sore and tired, my breathing rapid like I was hyperventilating!!!!
“Calm down Anna!” One nurse cried out trying to hold me shoulders down, “It was just a nightmare!”
It took a few minutes for me to realize I was in a hospital room and I stopped fighting the nurses and my heartbeat, blood pressure and breathing returned to normal, or as normal as I could get them. I heard them whisper in the corner that they had never seen anything like this before. I drank some water and saw it was almost dawn. The day was filled with tests, doctors visiting, my girls came to do their homework…. I tried to forget my horrible dream but it stuck with me and I was distant the whole day. I had to sleep, but I had to get control of my feelings, but I still felt like such a failure, I thought I let everyone down.
I took the nightly dose of pills, praying to God that I would not have a dream like that again. I started to slowly drift into sleep…..
I found myself in my house again, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, I got up and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was dressed in my Marine Corps Desert Cammies, the full sha-bing, blouse, pants boots, green tee underneath, but I had no rank, my name tape said CHAMBERS. I walked down the stairs to find again an empty and bare house. I was walking into the living room and I heard….
“ATTENTION ON DECK!!!!!” I heard a female voice yell out! I popped right to it. Ramrod straight, eyes forward just how I had been trained. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU DEVIL DOG!!!” I heard in my ear, I felt her hot breath on my face. What the hell is going on!!!!!
