[sinclairfan]

Sunday, February 3, 8:35pm

R:  I figured out another thing you lied to me about, bitch.

A:  No "hello"?, or "Good evening"?

R: Oh, I'm sorry.  Hello, homewrecking slut lying cxnt bitch Amy.

A:  Hello, yourself, frigid whore Basic Becky.  Free to chat now that Seth did the dishes and put the kids to bed?

R:  You don't know shit about who does what in my house.  And at least my kids are in bed and ready for school and not running around like sugared up brats.

A: I thought we were leaving husbands and kids out of this, slut.

R:  You started it.  Just like you always start shit you can't finish, sweetie.

A:  Don't change the subject, bitch.  What did I lie to you about.

R:  That you never lost a catfight.  That's impossible.  You have an older sister.  Any woman with an older sister got beat up at least once by her growing up.

A:  I was talking about catfights outside the home, dumb ass.  But is that why you lost your Senior Prom catfight?  Because your only sister was younger than you, so you were unprepared?

R:  Cyberstalking me, bitch?

A:  You were doing the same.  Find anything else juicy?

R:  Just the D word, bitch.  Funny how in three years of knowing you, your 2008 divorce never came up.  How'd you get remarried in the Church, slut?

A:  I got an annulment, nosey jealous cxnt.  How'd you know the marriage was in the Church?  That's not on the internet anywhere.

R:  I didn't.  You just told me, dumb fuck.  Who's "Basic" now?

A:  That touch a chord when I call you Bssic Becky?

R:  They really did break the bitch mold when they made you, didn't they, Amy?

A:  Trust me, you'll learn at whole new level of bitch when I shred your scalp tomorrow.

R:  Pfffft.

A:  Good.  Underestimate me.

To be continued......

[sinclairfan]

Sunday, February 3, 9:41pm

Paige:  Hello?

Amy:  Oh, thank God you answered, Sis.  I didn't wake you up, did I?

P:  No, that's ok.  What's up?  Everything ok?

A:  Well .... not really .... you know my blonde neighbor Rebecca, who I can't stand?

P:  Ya, me neither .... she's a stuck-up bitch .....

A:  Tell me about it .... well, she and I are going to catfight tomorrow morning at 9.....

P:  Whoa whoa!  Like, an actual catfight??  How did all of this happen??

A:  Well .... long story ....  you know how Larry was't getting paid the whole government shut down, right?? .....  even though he still hsd r to report to work, right?? ....  well, Paige it totally sucked .... the utility bills weren't getting paid .... and we had a mortgage payment coming up the 5th of the month .....

P:  But that's all ended now, right?  I heard you all got your back pay last week.

A:  It is .....  BUT ....

P:  Uh oh .....

A:  BUT .... so that we could, like .... eat and shit .... I had put a back up plan in motion ..... to earn some cash, you know? ....

P:  I'm not gonna like this, I can already tell.

A:  I .... kinda sorta ..... well, you know Rebecca's husband Seth?  ....  well, he and I kinda hit it off at the neighborhood Christmas party .... and, well, I found out he pays their college girl babysitter for blow jobs .... you know, when he drives her home after she watches their kids .... and I told him I bet I could give him better blow jobs than the babysitter can ..... because the babysitter is a lesbian, for one .... 

P:  So??  ..... holy shit, did you ever give him a blow job??? ....  what did he pay you??

A:  Well, we were just going to try and hook up this past weekend .... and, like you ssy, the shutdown ended ..... so, I tried to cancel with Seth, by text ..... well, he understood, but on the other hand he had kinda gotten his hopes up, and he started getting all flirty and wanted to get together with me to fool around .... and he started flattering me about how I'm blonde just like Rebecca, except with a nicer personality ....

P:  See, big mistake right there sis .... ya shoulda just taken the money .... now he wants you as a girlfriend ....

A:  Ya ....  tell me about it ..... well, Thursday night, I emailed Rebecca that Seth was flirting with me....

P:  YOU FUCKING DID WHAT??  WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??

A: I know ..   it was stupid .... it seemed like a good idea at the time ....  I thought her blowing up might scare off Seth .... which it maybe did .... but she also blew up at me ....  and, I mean, really nasty shit about how she hates me and wants to fight me ..... which, hey, fuck, fine by me, I can handle myself .....

P:  But, Amy .... this won't be an ordinary fight ..... she's defending HER FUCKING HUSBAND from you .... her home ...  her kids ....

A:  Fuck, I realize that now, Paige ..... she started the weekend all hysterical .... and I thought I could scare her off by telling her I know how to catfight ..... which I do ..   but, dammit, she's not acting hysterical anymore ..... just, obsessed with fighting me tomorrow ......

P:  And ....  lemme guess .... you can't back out because the humiliation would be epic ....

A:  Hell, I think she'd come over and kick my ass anyways ...  or try to ...

P:  So, you're calling for advice.

A:  Yep.

P:  Ok, here's the good news, sis .. .  You hate this bitch, and always have, right.

A:  Hell, yes.

P:  Use that.  Focus on that.  Forget the fucking soap opera that led to tomorrow morning.  Tomorrow morning was meant to happen, and probably already should have.  By 9 tomorrow, just get rowdy .... and during the fight, not many punches, ok?  They don't do much besides maybe break your own fingers.  You just grab that bitch's blonde hair and pull it down so she can't see, and you just bang it into anything hard--your knees, the wall, the floor . .

A:  And what if that pisses her off even more?

P:  Then you get your nails and you scratch every soft part of her body .... her face, her shoulders, her arms .....

A:  Not her tits?

P:  If you can get her shirt off, ya.  But, if she knows how to catfight, you'll never see them.  And don't let her see yours, either.  Wear a top that won't rip.  And jeans, not shorts, and defintely not a skirt.  And don't let her get on top of you.  Oh, and even if you win, you'll be sore.  So I'll be there to make dinner tomorrow night, k?

A:  You're a lifesaver.

P:  Good luck.  Get some sleep.

A:  How?

P:  Seriously.  You need to, k?  In case the fight is long.  You don't wanna be the one who gets winded first.

A: Good point.

To be continued......

[sinclairfan]

Sunday, February 3, 10:02pm

Rebecca:  Free to text?

Lynn:  Sure, sis, everything ok?

R:  Yes, but I'm hoping I can call in a favor from you around lunchtime tomorrow

L:  I think you're the one who owes ME favors, but who's counting.  Sure, what's up.

R:  So, here's the thing.  This isn't a prank, by the way, this is for real.  I might be catfighting a neighbor tomorrow morning, at my place.  And I need the place cleaned up before the kids and Seth get home.

L:  Umm, ok, so many questions.  You're catfighting her, an in arguing with her?  And the two of you might break things?--like, throwing things at each other??

R:  The argument already happened.  She practically admitted to trying to steal Seth--the bitch is on her second marriage already, so this is the real deal.  Seth broke it off with her before it got real, and now the bitch is going all Fatal Attraction.

L:  Yikes.  Shouldn't you be calling the cops?  Or at least telling her hudband??

R:  Telling her husband will only take away the only home she has to go back to--she'll get desperate.  And anyways, we agreed to leave husbands out of this.  This is between her and me--it's a long time coming.

L:  Sounds serious, Bec.  Want me to smack her down?

R:  No, no.  This is my mess--I'll handle it.  It's just as well, I've been looking for a reason for awhile now.  She and I have never played nice.  It's time.

L:  Ok, so the fight will be over by lunchtime?  Say, 12:30.

R:  Well before that, I'd expect.  She's never lost a catfight, so she'll crumble as soon as I hit her.  I can't imagine it'll take more than 5 minutes.  But I don't want to explain her blood on my floor, and you're better at cleaning than me.

L:  Blood, pee, spit.  Sweat.  Make this homewrecker pay, Bec.  K?

R:  That's the plan. 

L:  Good luck.

R:  Thanks.

To be continued......

[ralbright2010]

This is getting really good. So awesome Amy is having second thoughts about her chances AND we find out that Basic Becky is apparently badass Becky (after I hit her once). Sounds like this is definitely not the first rodeo for Becky or Lynn, Amy may be the one underestimating!

[sinclairfan]

Monday, February 4, 6:55am

R:  You're never gonna fucking believe what happened.

L:  Neighbor called off the catfight?

R:  Worse.  School's cancelled.
 Frozen water pipes.

L:  Shit.  House fill of kids.  For how long?

R:  Till Wednesday.  What do I do?  I was all geared up to fight.  I can't just turn that on and off.

L:  I know what you mean.  If it wasn't 10 below out, I'm sure you and her wouldn't have lasted all weekend.  You two will never make it to Wednesday.  Can Seth maybe take the kids somewhere?

R:  On such notice?  Somewhere he and them will enjoy?

L:  How about Wisconsin Dells?  Take advantage.  The lines will be short on a Monday and a Tuesday.

R:  That's an awesome idea, Lynn.  That'll give me a couple days to recover, too.  IF Amy can re-arrange kid duty, too.  How do I bring it up with her?

L:  If you too really decided to fight, like you said, then she's itching to get it over with as much as you.  Just tell her you're around and the kids and Seth are gone till Tuesday night.  I'll still come at lunchtime today.

R:  Ok.  I hope this works.  I want this fight over.

L:  Keep focussed.  See you in a few.


Monday, February 4, 7:15am

R:  Seth is leaving for Wisconsin Dells at 11 today.  I'm free the fight anytime after then.  I hope we don't let a little blip like this stop us from getting together.

A:  Not a chance, bitch.  Except.... my husband's job is apparently more important than yours, since he can't just drop everything and go to Wisconsin Dells.  It'll take me until 4 to get childcare.

R:  Fine.  That'll feel like forever getting here, but I've waited three years--I guess I can wait 9 hours.

A:  If my adult supervision can get here sooner, I'll come right over.  I'm more anxious to get this done than you, I'm sure.

R:  But 4 at the latest, bitch?

A:  No later than 4.

To be continued.....

[sinclairfan]

Monday, February 4, 10:30am

A:  Have time to text?

P:  Sure, sis, what's up.

A:  You're never gonna fucking believe this.

P:  Something up with the bitch neighbor?

A:  So, I'm lookin' out the window.  Around 9:30, her husband leaves with the kids, headed to Wisconsin Dells for two days--thry have overnight bags and crap....

P:  Ok, so far so good.

A:  And then at 10:00, some blonde broad pulls up in a Lexus.  Bitch gets out of the car and goes to the side door.  And pulls the car into the garage, so that I can't notice it's parked there.

P:  Holy shit.  Have you ever seen the blonde?  Is it a friend of Rebecca's ??

A:  Well she must know her really really well to let her park in the garage.  Paige--Rebecca mentioned having a sister.  You don't think she snuck her sister into the house, do you?

P:  You mean so the two of them could jump you when you go over for the fight?

A:  Exactly.  What do I do?  Do I ask Rebecca who the mystery blonde is?

P:  No way.  Change of plans.  I'm online--send me the link to Rebecca's Facebook.  I'll see if she's connected to her sister, and I'll try to pull up her picture.

A:  O good idea.  And how about me?  What do I do?

P:  We need to get your kids away from there.  Pack them up for overnight.  There's a neighbor of mine they can stay with--they're old enough, right?

A:  So you and I can take down the blonde tramps?  Yes, they're old enough.

P:  Ok, pack up and come over.  I'll have had time to poke around on Facebook by then.

A:  Paige, you're a lifesaver.  I coulda walked into a total ambush.

P:  That's what sisters are for.  Shit, you and Rebecca really are at war, aren't you.

A:  Total war.  I gotta get moving now.  ttyl


Monday, February 4, 11:15am

R:  I saw you and your kids just pull out of the driveway.  You didn't forget our appointment, did you, honey?

A:  I'm taking them to lunch, asshole.  And I shouldn't text and drive.

R:  Ok.  I'm so looking forward to our appointment, sweetie.

A:  Not as much as I am.


Monday, Februsry 4, 11:29am

A:  I'm on the way.  The bitch saw me leave and texted me.

P:  Shit, the bitches are looking out the window.  I'll hide in the back of the car when we come back.  Let's let them think you're alone.

A:  But how do we get you over to their house for the fight?

P:  We'll see if we can get THEM over to your house.  You won't have your kids, so your house is available for the fight.

A:  Fuck, Paige, this fight is gonna get nasty.  I'm not dragging you into my mess, am I?  You can back out.

P:  No way.  If this is her sister ... her name is Lynn .... prissy looking bitch ...  I want to take her down.  And hard.

A:  Ok.  Thanks.  Show me her pic when I get there.

To be continued.....

[sinclairfan]

Monday, February 4, 1:55pm

L:  Are you still in the tub?

R:  Yes, everything ok?

L:  The neighbor bitch is up to something.  She came back from lunch in a BMW, not a minivan.

R:  That's odd.

L:  And .... it was hard to tell, but I saw no kids in the car.  And I'm pretty sure I saw a blonde laying in the back.

R:  A blonde???  As in, a woman??

L:  Yes.  I couldn't see her face, and the car zipped by.  But I could see her hair and her back and hips--put it this way, it was either a woman or a mannequin.

R:  You don't think she brought in reinforcements, do you??

L:  You know her better than me.  But even ignoring who or what was in the back, just ditching the kids is concerning.  The bitch is preparing for a war.

R:  I knew it.  She's trying to steal my husband.  She's trying to trade up.  Who fucking does that?

L:  She must be desperate.  What does her current husband do for work? 

R:  Something for the federal government.  FAA or something.

L:  BEC?!?!?  DON'T YOU PAY ANY FUCKING ATTENTION TO THE NEWS?!?!?  THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT JUST HAD A ONE MONTH SHUTDOWN!!!  THEY DIDN'T GET PAID FOR A MONTH!!!!!

R:  Fuck, I heard about the shutdown but didn't make the connection to Amy's husband.  She's probably tired of worrying about government shutdowns all the time!

L:  Shit, this is serious.  You need to smack this bitch down.

R: Or, if you're right about what you saw ... bitchES.  Think it was a friend of hers?  Or a sister, maybe?  In her texts, she told me she had an older sister who used to beat her up.

L:  Fuck.  I bet she went and got her older sister to jump you.

R:  What do we do?

L:  Well, when the bitch comes over to fight, we make sure she comes alone.  She can't bring another woman.  I'm here for you.  Fight's at 4, right?

R:  4 at the latest.

L:  Ok.  Let's let the bitches make their move.

R:  I think she just made it.  Amy's texting me.

L:  What's she saying?

R:  Get a load of this.  She wants to fight now.  AT HER PLACE.

L:  Fuck.  They're planning on jumping you.

R:  I knew the bitch would never fight me fair.  Just tell her my place?  Like we planned?

L:  No.  She'll get suspicious.  Bec, you need to fight this bitch.  Say her place is fine, but that it needs to be 4:00.  Take a selfie of yiurself in the tub.

R:  Good thinking.

L:  She buying it?

R:  Yes.  4:00, her place.  We have 2 hours.  How do I not get jumped, now?

L:  It'll be getting dark then.  I'll go out your side door, and sneak up to their front door.  When they open, you and I both go in.

R:  You're willing to catfight her sister while I take care of Amy?

L:  Willing, and EAGER.

To be continued.....

[ralbright2010]

Love s sister to sister deal. Great buildup as always! However, we know there will be a classic Sinclairfan twist somewhere!

[sinclairfan]

Monday, February 4, 3:55pm

A: Five minutes till 4.  The bitch ... or bitches .... will start walking over any minute now.  You're at the upstairs window, right?

P:  Right.  For what it's worth--I can't see that great, just so you know--it's already getting dark out.

A:  It's ok, I'm just glad you're here.  This would be scary without you.

P:  I know what you mean.  Should we have kept the fight at Rebecca's?

A:  No. Her and her sister would have ambushed me.  I'll fight either of them 1on1, but not 1on2.

P:  Do you hear something off to the right?  Like, crunching in the snow?

A:  Shit, I do.  What is it?

P:  I'm trying to look .... fuck, it's too dark.  Have you walked outside since the last snowstorm?

A:  That was last Thursday, when Rebecca and I started textfighting ... so, no.  Why, are there footprints?

P:  It looks like it.  Like, bootprints. 

A:  You don't think her sister is trying to look in the window, do you??

P:  I wouldn't put it past her.  Good thing I'm upstairs.  What do we do??

A:  I don't know, but better think quick.  Bitch Rebecca just started strutting across the street.

P:  FUCK!!!  I'll go outside and tske care of the bitch sister snooping outside.  You just act nonchalant and let Rebecca in.  Good luck.

A:  Thanks.  Be careful.

P:  You, too.



Monday, February 4, 4:35pm

R:  Hello?

P:  Hello, Rebecca.  I take it you won your catfight with Amy?

R:  I take it you won YOUR catfight with Lynn?

P:  Looks like the older sisters won both fights.  Is Amy ok?

R:  She will be .... in a couple days.  And Lynn.

P:  Same ... except, her and I are outside in the cold.   Which is probably worse for her than me.

R:  How so?

P:  Well, the thing is, Becky Bitch ....  I have the keys to your place now, and can walk over there and let myself in.  Your sister:  not so much.

R:  What did you do to her?

P:  Oh, goody, story time.

R:  Answer the damn question, psycho bitch.

P:  Oh, it was fantastic, Becky Bitch.  Your sister thought she was so damn smart, sneaking over here before the fight so that when Amy answered the door, the two of you could rush the door and storm in .....

R:  Lynn was only going to watch the fight, bitch.....

P:  Oh, bullshit, Becky ..... if you wanted a fair fight, you woulda come alone .... Anyways, I snuck out the back door and followed her footprints .... she was crouched about 10 feet away from the front door ..... I saw her and told her to stand up ..... We bare knuckle boxed a little bit in the snow and ice, but it was too goshdarn slippery, not to mention  cold ..... we just came together in a catball, tearing at each others' hair and gouging each others' faces .... I'm honestly a little afraid to look in the mirror ..... but you know the saying:  "You should see the other girl." ....  Yep, your sister is pretty fucked up right about now, Becky .... pretty damn cruel of you to leave her in the cold .....

R:  What the fuck do you want?

P:  Two things.

R:  First.

P:  Recap of what went down between you and Amy.

R:  I'd give you that for free, dumb ass.  Amy was pissing her pants as soon as the door opened.  She wasn't pacing herself at all.  She dug her nails into my hair and was kicking and kneeing my midsection and bending me at the waist.  Total ... amateur .... hour. 

P:  Sounds pretty bad ass to me.

R:  It was.  For two fucking minutes--then what??  She was operating on pure adrenaline.  Once that wore off, she had nothing left.  Wjlhen you and her were catfighting growing up, didn't you teach her to pace herself??

P:  Like you taught Lynn, apparently??  Pffft, didn't do her much good tonight.

R:  Well, Amy's ass was mine for the rest of the fight, and she'll be feeling it tomorrow.  I guarantee it.  I'd love for you to see ....  PERSONALLY .... the beating I laid on her.  Now, Paige darlin', ..... you said there were teo things you wanted.  What was the second?

P:  I'll give you one guess .... big sister.

R:  Does it involve you .... and me?

P:  Smart girl.

R:  Let's rumble.

P:  Let me in.

R:  Door's open.

To be continued......

[sinclairfan]

Monday, February 4, 5:36pm

Dear Seth,

You and I have never met, but I've seen you from across the street at my sister's Amy's house.  And if you dig her--and I KNOW you do [sisters talk, ya know]--then you would dig me, since she and I look alike.

My name is Paige.  Nice to meet you.

Another thing my sister and I have in common is that we think your wife Rebecca is a bitch.  How can you stand her?  Anyways, when you come home tonight, you'll notice that she's not home.  She's over at Amy's.  Rebecca and her sister Lynn came over and tried to 2on1 jump Amy for trying to sell you blowjobs during the government shutdown.  But I was outside and smacked down Lynn.  Then I came in and smacked Rebecca around.

I'm not gonna tell you it was easy.  To start with, I had already had a fight with Lynn--2 fights in one day is a first for me.  Even when Amy and I were growing up and in each others' face constantly, I think 21 days or so between fights was about as near as two fights ever got in proximity.  But, also, Rebecca was gangsta' when I came at her.  She was messing around tactically.  Fists, kicks, elbows, nails, teeth.  5-tool catfighter you've got there in your wife, Seth.  I'm in no shape to drag her across the street back to your place.  You're gonna hafta pick her up yourself.  I'll leave the door unlocked.

Does this turn you on, all these blondes fighting over you?  Which fight do you wish you had seen the most?  Probably Amy vs Rebecca, right?  Because those are the two directly fighting over you?  Are you sad Rebecca won that one?  You'll probably never get with Amy now, right?  Even though the government shutdown is over, she can probably still use the money, ya know.

Just sayin'.

If you're turned on by all the fights, when you come by for Rebecca, maybe you and I can have some fun.  Just puttin' it out there.

xoxo, Paige

THE END

[ralbright2010]

Gee, wonder when Paige will learn Seth will not be back until TUESDAY night! She has Basic Becky the bitch (and prissy Lynn) for another 24 hours. Guessing it could be a long night for Bec and Lynn when badass Paige finds she will only have  them for play time!