[Glamour Fights]

Click here for current standings and won/loss records

Sophia Loren	Mamie Van Doren
22 years old	23 years old
5'8½" 138 pounds	5'4"120 pounds
38D-24-39	36D-24-35
5th 35pts 17-2-1	8th 32pts 16-4-0

Joan Collins	Jayne Mansfield
23 years old	23 years old
5'6" 125 pounds	5'5½" 118 pounds
38C-23 1/2-37	42D-18-36
30th 2pts 1-19-0	12th 26pts 13-7-0

Ursula Andress	Joi Lansing
20 years old	27 years old
5'5" 125 pounds	5'’5” 120 pounds
37C-22-36	38½D-23½-35
30th 1st 40pts 20-0-0	17th 22pts 11-9-0

Claudia Cardinale	Mitzi Gaynor
20 years old	25 years old
5'8" 138 pounds	5'6" 125 pounds
37C-24-37	36C-21½-36½
6th 32pts 16-4-0	14th 23pts 11-8-1

Yvonne Craig	Bettie Page
19 years old	33 years old
5''4” 120 pounds	5'5½" 129 pounds
37C-23-35	36C-24-36½
25th 9pts 4-15-1	9th 27pts 13-6-1

Elizabeth Taylor	Tina Louise
24 years old	22 years old
5'3" 120 pounds	5'8½" 135 pounds
36D-23-37	37D-24-36
31st 2pts 1-19-0	13th 24pts 11-7-2

Lisa Gaye	Ava Gardner
21 years old	34 years old
5’5” 125 pounds	5'5½" 128 pounds
36C-24-36	36C-23½-37
29th 4pts 2-18-0	23rd 11pts 5-14-1

Diana Rigg	Rita Hayworth
18 years old	38 years old
5'8½" 130 pounds	5'6" 120 pounds
34B-25-36½	35C-26-35
28th 4pts 2-18-0	27th 5pts 2-17-1

[Vassago]

My picks go as follows:

Sophia Loren vs Mamie van Doren - The fiery Italian easily rips the blonde into shreds and tortures her afterwards.

Joan Collins vs Jayne Mansfield - Jayne walks all over Joan who simply doesn't have the strenght to put a challenge here.

Ursula Andress vs Joi Lansing - Ursula pummels Joi with no mercy and knocks her unconscious in the end.

Claudia Cardinale vs Mitzi Gaynor - Claudia headlocks Mitzi and punches her out.

Yvonne Craig vs Bettie Page - Bettie smothers Yvonne on the ground and facesits her into submission.

Elizabeth Taylor vs Tina Louise - Tina brutally manhandles Liz who gets battered in no time and gives up.

Ava Gardner vs Lisa Gaye - Ava wins the battle of strong thighs as she crushes Lisa's waist and gains a victory.

Diana Rigg vs Rita Hayworth - Diana wears Rita out with her speed and knocks down the exhausted redhead who has no strenght to avoid a painful defeat.

[Glamour Fights]

How I envision these fights starting and progressing:

Sophia Loren vs Mamie Van Doren:  Sophia and Mamie come out strutting in short sorts. Both thrust out their formidable chests to impress the onlookers. Sophia as one-upped Mamie by wearing the shorter shorts. Her legs are longer to start off with and the high cut makes them look even longer and more impressive than Mamie’s. Mamie is not used to being upstaged when it comes to publicity and is fuming. She walks back and forth swinging her hips in an exaggerated motion drawing eyes to her legs and very sexy butt. Sophia watches her with a sly smile on her face. As Mamie walks by Sophia throws out her hip, slamming it into Mamie’s hip. Mamie goes flying to the side and down to the ground. Sophia rushes over to jump on her and finish her off. But Mamie is quick and a smart fighter. She has to be to beat many bigger women in her fights. She sticks up her right leg between Sophia’s legs, lifts her up by the crotch and flips her over her head. Mamie rolls onto all fours quickly and grabs Sophia by the hair as Sophia also starts to roll over. Mamie yaks Sophia flat and gets on her back. Sophia starts twisting and bucking. The lighter Mamie cannot hold her down and soon Mamie is riding Sophia like a pony as Sophia gets to her hands and knees. Mamie slaps Sophia’s ass “Gitty up BITHC!” Mamie laughs. Sophia lowers her head and rises up quickly on her legs tumbling Mamie over h Sophia’s head. Mamie continues to summersault and ends up on her feet. Sophia also gets up. The two face each other with glare’s that could kill. Not sure who won the first round but this looks like it could get real nasty. The two catfighters circle each other raging gypsies – long talons curled ready for attack, lips curled and teeth bared, hissing through their teeth. Both fighters love a good catfight. Sophia towers over Mamie but Mamie is not the least bit intimidated. Don’t count Mamie out just yet. Mamie can be a real mighty mite and knows a trick or two on how to handle a big, strong woman like Sophia.

Joan Collins vs Jayne Mansfield: Jayne wears some jeans that come down abut mid calf. Joan says it is because she is hiding her skinny, weak legs. Joan wears a frilly fencing outfit that bares all of her very sexy legs. Joan had been warned “Don’t be fooled by that story about some Latina dancer slapping Jayne and knocking her down. It was a surprise attack. Furthermore she was pulled off by bodyguards before Jayne had time to react. Finally Jayne had to shoot some advertisements the next day and didn’t want any scratches or bruises. Jayne can fight when she really wants to.” Joan figured to put the odds in her favor by taking along her epee and pricking Jayne her and there. “I’m going to let the air out of this plastic bags she calls tits.” Jayne thrust out her chest in her white, tight sweater to lord her famous breasts over Joan. Joan takes her epee and slashes a “Z” across Jayne’s chest. “So much for your flabby tits” Joan laughs. Jayne grabs Joan’s epee and holds on while raising her foot up hard between Joan’s legs. Joan somehow manages to return the kick. Both women bend over holding their cxnts until the pain subsides enough to return to the fight. Everyone is expecting a feminine type hairpulling, face slapping girlie fight. Instead Jayne starts throwing punches. Joan cannot get inside of them and starts throwing punches back. Jayne is the better boxer. The one advantage Joan has is that Jayne’s breasts are a lot bigger target and are softer, being compressed when Joan lands a direct hit. Still Jayne is also able to battered Joan’s 38C tits. It looks like this will come down to who can throw the better punches and who can take the more punishment. A smart move by Jayne because she would probably lose a vicious catfight encounter with Joan.

Ursula Andress vs Joi Lansing: Ursula wants to show off her figure. It is an indoor fight but she wears a skimpy black bikini so show off her well defined abs and legs. Joi wears a stripped, tight fitting gym outfit that shows off her excellent figure without revealing the strength or lack of strength in her abs. Surprisingly her legs look only a little thinner than Ursula’s, especially when she rises up on her toes to emphasis her claves. Joi started out well but has somehow lost the plot lately. Ursula continues to roll over most of her opponents although it did take a little while for her to overcome Honor Blackman in her last fight. Most people don’t give Joi much chance against Ursula. But Joi has been studying her opponents. She gave Kim a much harder fight than Kim expected. She claims everyone will be surprised at the results of this fight. She has observed some tendencies and weaknesses in Ursula’s attack that she will turn against Ursula. Ursula just scoffs at Joi’s claims. Perhaps she is overconfident?

Claudia Cardinale vs Mitzi Gaynor: By own feeling is that this could be the best fight of this group and rival the Honor Blackman vs Kim Novak fight. Mitzi is very strong and tough and perhaps has just had some bad luck. Cardinale is also tough but has shown some lapses in her fighting now and then. Mitzi is ready to go head to head with Claudia and show Claudia that Mitzi is stronger. Claudia is furious to have lost to Marilyn Monroe in a fluke match. Sophia told Claudia “Keep your fucking fat ass and your opponent away from my fight this time. I came close to losing last time because of you. SO STAY AWAY!” Claudia is really out for revenge for that last and Mitzi happens to be the poor soul whose Claudia’s rage will be aimed at. Will Mitzi’s plan to go strength against strength against an enraged Claudia be a big mistake or will she surprise Claudia and put her at a disadvantage?

Yvonne Craig vs Bette Page: I expect the future Batgirl and the legendary Bettie to also give us a great, even fight. Bettie comes out in her skimpy outfit and strikes a pose to intimidate Yvonne. Yvonne flexes her leg muscles to intimidate Bettie. Yvonne is wearing a flimsy black top? Does she have anything on underneath, above or below? Bettie is sure to show us. The two lock up with fingers interlaced in a test of strength. Bettie uses her slight height advantage to bear down on Yvonne and try to bend her wrists back. Yvonne uses her more powerful legs and pushes up to drive Bettie backward. It is apparent each woman is going to try and outmuscle the other until they can get her opponent in a humiliating spanking position over her legs. Which one will prevail?

Elizabeth Taylor vs Tina Louise: Another case where a woman, Liz Taylor with a hot temper who can be as nasty as anyone is getting angrier and angrier as she loses fight after fight. The temper and channeling of her temper into fighting will be demonstrated later on in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf.. She has the nastiness and sneakiness to beat any woman but has yet figured out how to channel that into wins. For her part, Tina has been coming on strong after a lackluster start. Out of her first seven fights she had 5 loses and 2 draws. Then she won her next three fights by only one point. She has won all her fights since the first seven expect for a couple of embarrassing loses to Marilyn Monroe and Mamie Van Doren. Tina’s supporters claim she had the toughest set of opponents of anyone in her first seven fights with her losses coming against the top women to date. She learned from those fights and claims if she faced them again she would beat each one. She intends to prove her point against the lackluster and smaller Liz. Liz thinks that Tina cannot stand up to a vicious catfight assault and will come out trying to scratch Tina to pieces and not leave any hair on her head.

Lisa Gaye vs Ava Gardner: Two more women who think they are much better than their records and don’t get any respect. Most observers think this is definitely true of Ava but aren’t so sure of Lisa. That gives Lisa even more motivation. Ava’s confidence grew after a solid win over the athletic Esther Williams. Lisa beat Rita Hayworth in her last fight but that isn’t anything to write home about, especially since Lisa had trouble with Rita. Lisa is counting on the older Ava to be slow and fall victim to a crushing scissors from Lisa’s strong legs. Ava is confident she can win by resorting to nasty catfighting techniques. She thinks Lisa is too soft mentally to not be cowered with a vicious onslaught of claws, kicks, slaps, hairpulling, and even biting if necessary. Who has the better strategy?

Diana Rigg vs Rita Hayworth: Diana is utterly amazed she has had only two wins so far. She is even more startled that the weak Rita has a better record with 2 wins and 1 draw. She did beat Mitzi Gaynor and Jane Russell but hasn’t been given a lot of credit for those wins as those two have also unperformed. Rita drew with the tough Gina Lollobrigida, who can beat anyone when on her game. She also beat Rhonda Fleming who has proven to be one of the better fighters. Her final win was against Barbara Eden who shows flashes of brilliance but also difficulties in overcoming strong women. Once again it is a fight for two women with something to prove. Diana knows she is as strong as many of these women, has good body control, and knows martial arts. So why does she lose so often? Rita has figured it out, seeing that Diana just can’t use her martial arts well against a true catfighter. Rita is not known for being a vicious catfighter but she has been off practicing. She has resorted to suing “method acting”. By that I mean she envisions her opponent as one of her hated enemies, such as Kim Novak who pushed her out of Columbia Pictures. She knows she has to be downright dirty and nasty to beat Diana. Diana figures she will have no trouble in flipping and tossing Rita round. She plans to be on her before Rita can get back up. Yank her up by the hair and bounce her down hard again and again. Rita is expecting this and will try and thwart Diana’s throws by well place grabbing of hair, tits, pussies, or whatever she can get her claws on.

[Glamour Fights]

Poll is activated.

[Fandango]

I've voted!

[Glamour Fights]

A report from my notes taken during the fights.

Sophia Loren 57 vs Mamie Van Doren 52: Mamie had been going around shoot her mouth off saying "Sophia is nothing but a big, fat, slow, Italian whore! Why she must have won her fights by toppling over on her victims and crushing them with her weight. Wait until she runs up against a real catfighter like me. I WILL DESTROY the fat bitch!" Whether this was false bravado or a clever strategy the buzz went around that Mamie had completely lost her mind. Sophia would destroy under any conditions and now Sophia would be angry enough to slaughter Mamie, maybe literally. Mamie would be lucky enough to get out alive. Indeed, what ever Mamie's plan or reason for slandering Sophia it seemed a mistake. Sophia was enraged, pacing her room before the fight like a caged tigress. She couldn't wait to get her hands on Mamie. She even picked up a chair and smashed it in her fury. A practice kick had enough adrenaline behind it to destroy a wall. Sophia's rage did not lesson when she was let out of her cage for the fight. She shoved anyone aside who stood between her and Mamie. She grabbed Mamie by the hair and flung her around, almost lifting her off her feet. As Mamie staggered to get up, Sophia moved in with a powerful uppercut to the half standing Mamie who went down like a rock. Whatever Mamie had intended with her remarks it was proving to be one big mistake. Sophia continued to pummel Mamie. She would haul Mamie up by the hair then hit her with a roundhouse punch or devastating kick. Mamie would go down only to be hauled up again. Soon Mamie would be a battered, beaten bloody mess who would have to be carted off to the infirmary on a stretcher or in a body bag to the coroner. As Sophia delivered a punch she figured to be a jaw breaking monster she suddenly fell pain shoot up her arm. She had hit Mamie so hard she had sprained or broken her wrist and fingers. Mamie went down as Sophia grabbed her wrist. Mamie’s jaw was dislocated but fortunately popped back into place when she shrieked in pain. Mamie went down on her side and kicked out at the figure made blurry through tear filled eyes. It was a lucky kick that landed square on Sophia’s right knee. Sophia’s knee was bent back in a way that nature hadn’t intended. Sophia collapsed to her knees causing more pain. She tired to rub both her sore wrist and sore knee but didn’t have enough hands. The more painful knee won out. Still groggy and half blind, Mamie reached out and found something that felt like a stick. She picked it up and swung, see well enough now to nail Sophia on the side of the head. She tried another swing but Sophia grabbed the stick and the two fought for it. In spite of her sore wrist Sophia was able to pull the stick away and it went flying out of reach. Now Mamie stood up and began to pummel Sophia. Sophia was fighting back but unable to get up off her knees. They traded blows but Sophia was getting the worse of it as Mamie was swinging from a standing position. The fight was now going Mamie’s way and it would soon be lights out for Sophia. In a last ditch effort Sophia managed to land a solid fist between Mamie’s legs to her “well-used” pussy. Mamie bent over. Sophia grabbed her hair with both hands. She yanked Mamie’s head forward and head butted her. Mamie was knocked out. Sophia had barely beaten Mamie but with only one good leg and one good arm. Sophia had won but now there was concern in her camp for her next fight against Brigitte Bardot. An MRI and x-rays proved negative for any permanent injury to the knee but it would be sore and stiff. Would she have the mobility to fight a quick and very active Brigitte?

Joan Collins 43 vs Jayne Mansfield 66: Another classic blonde hating brunette against a platinum blonde. Joan was buoyed by reports that Jayne had been easily thrashed by some older, Latino chorus dancer. Her claws were ready to rip out her obviously phony blonde hair and continue to dominance of Jayne by a brunette. Jayne knew that the report was overblown. She had been surprised by the woman, pushed down and slapped. But that was all. She had to film an advertisement the next day and couldn't afford to get her face scratched up in a fight. Besides, her bodyguard had pulled the woman off before Jayne could slug her back anyway. Knowing that she had better beef up her strength and fighting skills, Jayne had been training with her boyfriend and manager, Mickey Hargitay. She could really throw a punch now and would not be surprised by any bitch in the future. Joan rush at her expecting to get into a hairpulling fight as she figured that was all Jayne was good for, and not very good at that. Instead Jayne staggered her with a couple of jabs to the face and chest followed up by a right cross. That completely took the fight out of Joan. She was not expecting Jayne to put up much of a fight and was completely flustered and put off her game. Jayne proceeded to give Joan the second worst beating of all the fights this round. The worst beating was given to Elizabeth Taylor by Tina Louise. More on that later. Anyway, everyone was expecting a very even vicious catfight and they were disappointed by this one-sided battle.

Ursula Andress 64 vs Joi Lansing 45: Quite frankly there isn't a lot to report here. This fight went just as expected. No tricks or scheming by Joi to keep Ursula off balance and make a fight of it. If Joi tried any they weren't successful in the least. The much stronger Ursula had her way with Joi as Joi tried to fight her straight up. Perhaps the only surprise here was that this wasn't the biggest one-sided victory this round.

Claudia Cardinale 49 vs Mitzi Gaynor 49: Mitzi Gaynor fans had hoped that this would be a close battle with the strong legged Mitzi crushing Claudia between her legs. Mitzi did manage to trap Claudia's zoftig body between her legs but she wasn't strong enough to force Claudia to submit. Claudia has strong arms as well as strong legs. She pried Mitzi's legs apart and took over. She used a full nelson to parade Mitzi around. Then a double armed hammer lock had Mitzi crying out in pain. Forcing Mitzi to her knees with the arm locks, Claudia used the long fur stole she had brought to humiliate Mitzi by hog tying her up  It was a close fight for awhile but Claudia proved too much for Mitzi by the end of the fight.

Yvonne Craig 54 vs Bettie Page 51: This was one of the most thrilling fights this round. It was another case of the bigger (but probably not stronger), older, experienced woman having her way with her young foe for most of the match. As she stated, Bettie attacked Yvonne like she was a blonde. She even got Yvonne into her favorite spanking position. Pull down her panties and spanked her ass a very bright red. Spanking may be humiliating but in itself is not enough to force a submission and win a fight. Yvonne took her punishment but avoided any holds that would prove decisive against her. Little by little she began to counteract. Suddenly Bettie found herself worn out and Yvonne coming on strong. Whereas Bettie's scissors hurt Yvonne but not enough to force her to quit, Yvonne's scissors were more than up to the job. Once she clamped her thighs on a tired Bettie's breasts, they were squished so much that Bettie gave up. It was either than or perhaps get some broken ribs.

Elizabeth Taylor vs 41 Tina Louise 66: Tina gave Elizabeth the worst beating in any of the fights this round for both set 1 and set 2. Elizabeth came out in her leopard bathing suit hoping to instill such a mind set into her brain. She even sharpened her claws. Tina came out in her Arabian outfit, complete with daggers to fight the leopard. Naturally she tossed the daggers away as she didn't need them. Sharp claws are fine but you have to be able to claw our opponent. Tina's much longer reached allow her to garb Elizabeth by the wrists before Liz could scratch her. Tina kept ahold of her wrists and twisted them. Liz could not pull them away. She tried kicking out at Tina but this only encouraged Tina to do the same with her longer legs. After receiving a couple of toes to the crotch, Liz decided this was a losing proposition. The funniest sight cam when Liz finally managed to pull her wrists free. Rather than fighting she tried to run. Tina teased her by letting her run around but Liz's short stubby legs were no match for the speed in Tina's long, slender legs. Tina would catch up, kick Liz in the ass and then let her run away again. When Tina finally tired of this game (and Liz was huffing and puffing and holding her sides), Tina knocked her on her butt in a supine position. She picked up one of Liz's short, thick legs, wrapped her leg around it and proceeded to twist and punish that leg. Then she did the same to the other. Finally she rolled Elizabeth onto her stomach and tortured her with a surf board hold. Tina finished Liz off by slapping and punching her until every inch of her body was sore. She ripped off Elizabeth's leopard skin swimsuit, thus skinning the leopard.

Lisa Gaye 55 vs Ava Gardner 52: This fight was similar to the Bettie Page vs Yvonne Craig fight in that the older, more experienced woman started off by given her younger adversary a lesson in fighting and punishment. It was a one-sided affair that looked to go all Ava's way. Ava didn't have any respect for Lisa's fighting abilities coming into this fight and her initial confidence allowed her to totally dominate Lisa. Lisa gritted her teeth and showed great courage in not giving up as painful hold after painful hold was inflicted on her. But it is one thing to dominate and another thing to finish her rival off. Try as she may, Ava could not force Lisa to submit. Nor could she knock her out. Lisa held on knowing time was on her side. Ava became more and more frustrated and expended more and more energy until she just ran out of gas. She could hardly stand as the inexperienced Lisa wrestled her down and managed to stay on top. Even so, it wasn't easy for Lisa but she did eke out the win. Lisa stole a sure victory from Ava.

Diana Rigg 62 vs Rita Hayworth 48: Another one-sided fight. Rita may have been a formidable force in her heyday but her fighting skills like her career, were on their way out. The teenager Diana used this opportunity to hone her judo skills. Her biggest problem was in getting Rita to charge at her so she could use Rita's movement against her in classic judo tosses. I don't think there wasn't a judo toss or flip that Diana didn't use successfully on Rita. When she had practiced enough, Diana flipped Rita down, wrapped her foot around an outstretched arm, and twisted Rita's wrist in an arm bar for a picture perfect judo submission hold.