depends on the circumstances. I've only been involved in arranged, competitive submission matches, where the the opponents share a mutual attraction. definitely not easiest to find. I always jump in right away and suggest pre match staredowns, where both of us wear robes and underneath, either sexy bra thong combination or just thongs with heels of course. during the breast to breast staredowns we review the rules and slowly slip off our robes. needless to say, it sets the mood. on first meetings female seconds are always in attendance, adding an interesting aspect to the event.