SUSAN SARANDON AND CHRISTINA HENDRICKS PREPARE FOR BATTLE!The two actresses have their breasts in position towards each other like battleships, and when they send them out to crash against each other the clash will whip up a tsunami.By Nancy Fanciful, correspondent for CelebToday, your favourite classy catfight magazine for all things bitchyThe most recent - and third - test of strength between actress
Susan Sarandon and her long time enemy
Katy Perry ended with no surprise. The 73 year old woman utterly humiliated the 38 years younger pop princess beating her even in a beauty competition, before winning a boobs on boobs squeezing battle, an armwrestling match, and a battle of wrestling in the ring. 35 years old Katy, who had self confidently demanded 'a third chance', slinked away quietly and meekly after her complete destruction.
Actress
Christina Hendricks heavily criticised Sarandon shortly after the ageing lady had taken Perry apart yet another time. She approached to challenge her: 'How many times do you want to beat up the same little girl, again and again? If you still don't want to retire to a senior citizens' residence where you really belong at your age then why not at least try to fight a
real woman for a change?' - And while provoking Susan verbally she stuck out her pair of majestic breasts with a look at the other woman's bust.
Susan drew herself up to her full height to look the slightly taller woman in the eyes and, hands on hips, smirked at her derisively. 'Oh, I see, you mean of course that "real woman" I should battle with is you? Girl, I'd take on bitches ten times tougher than you think you are, and if you want to make a complete fool of yourself then be my guest! You want to test those sagging bags of squishy fat which you've got to hold up in underwired dresses against my pair of firm, strong girls which have squashed better boobies than yours to a pulp?'
'Sagging??' Christina said in disbelief. 'You call these sagging, you old, washed up hag? Your wrinkly old woman's tits make me throw up when I look at them! My girls can shove those ugly flapping skin folds into your scrawny ribcage in a second!'
'Dream on, you fat plus size cow!'
'At least I'm not an emaciated ancient witch like you!'
'Look who's calling me "emaciated"! When I'm in the ring with you I'll lift you off the ground and fling you over the ropes like a rag doll.' Susan laughed at Christina.
Christina, not impressed with Susan's threats, ridiculed her rival: 'I'll break your brittle bone disease ridden skeleton like a dry twig, you scarecrow. Let's get this scheduled, and I'll meet you in an arena where I mess you up in front of an audience to make it a day you'll never forget for you in its worst sense!'
Susan agreed that the two ladies should see each other at a public event for a battle of boobs and brawns: 'Well, that might just be a big disappointment for you, fatty! The thrashing you'll receive at my hands will hopefully teach you a lesson and let you understand that fat slugs like you should better not try to fight a woman who can squeeze the fat out of her with her bare hands!'
Susan and Christina will soon meet for their clash in which to determine which of them is the better woman.
Follow all updates on their rivalry here, on
CelebToday.
CHRISTINA HENDRICKS: 44 years, 5'7", 73 kg, 36F
SUSAN SARANDON: 73 years, 5'6", 63 kg, 34D
Below: Christina has no doubts she will flatten Susan's boobs with her melons and successively make a sobbing victim of the 73 year old woman in the ring.
Below: Susan is convinced she'll destroy 'the myth about Christina's boobs' and pancake them with her own. Asked about what she expects of her wrestling match with Christina she assured her fans she is well capable of 'dealing with the conceited bitch'.
