Did you see Jessika’s new necklace?
Did you?
I’ve never seen anything that compares to it. The diamonds don’t look like diamonds; they look like chips of ice melting on a field of silver. The gold chain glistens in the light like an exploding nova. I’ve never seen such a beautiful sight in my life.
Jessika was wearing it to a charity ball we all attended last night. She looked stunning and regal in her silver dress. Jess is more than twice my age, yet appears years younger than she is. At 5’11, she has a stately, commanding, yet extremely feminine presence that belies her years. I watched her move around the room, resplendent in her gown……accented by that necklace.
“Jessika, that’s the most elegant necklace I’ve ever seen.” I smiled.
“Why, thank you, Marie,” she replied, gazing down at me. “I picked it up at Cartier’s the other day.”
I was practically drooling in envy.
“Would it be possible for me to borrow it for a function I’m attending this weekend, Jess?”
Jessika laughed softly as she shook her head.
“I’m sorry, dear, but we’re talking about a $10,000 necklace. It’s insured, of course, but the insurance company wouldn’t pay if someone other than me was wearing it when it was lost or stolen. I’m sure you understand.”
I told Jess that I understood, but I didn’t like it. When I went home later, I resolved to have that necklace for my own. How could she dismiss me like that? How could she laugh? I’d show her!
In private moments, I always figured I could be a better sneak thief than most folks. I’m only 4’11 and weigh just 90 pounds. I can run in and out of the shadows and people wouldn’t even know I was around if I was quiet. I resolved to sneak into Jessika’s bedroom that night and steal the necklace.
I was well aware that I couldn’t let her hear me when I sneaked in. After all, Jess is a full foot taller than me and I had no intention of fighting her, for heaven’s sake…..I just wanted to take her necklace while she slept. It would be easy.
I drove to her house at 3AM and laughed to myself when I saw that her bedroom window on the second floor was open….with an easy-to-climb trellis leading up to it. This was going to be simple and it occurred to me that fate must want me to have this necklace! Sure!
Moving like a whisper, I climbed up the trellis and through the window and saw Jessika sleeping in her bed. Then, as if things weren’t going smoothly enough, I spied the necklace sitting on her dresser! I had to stifle a giggle at how easy this was. My plan was perfect! I was so damn smart!
I tiptoed noiselessly across her bedroom and lifted the necklace from the dresser. Even in the darkness, the beauty of the jewelry dazzled me. I stood gazing reverently at the precious gems that were about to be mine, then turned with the treasure in my hand and headed toward the window…….only to see something blocking my path. It was Jessika.
I blanched with fear when I saw the look of cold fury on her face. Her eyes were narrowed to slits and her teeth were clenched in anger.
“I knew it,” growled Jessika. “From the moment last night you asked to borrow the necklace, I knew what you were planning, Marie.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but what was there to say? Smart as I am, I knew instantly that there was nothing left to do except survive.
To survive and to get the hell out of there, that is......with the necklace, if possible.
Being so much smaller than Jess, I knew I couldn’t hope to outfight her, even though a fight was surely coming. Still, I reasoned that, at over twice my age, she couldn’t hurt me if I could just stay out of her reach until I made my escape.
Was it possible? I looked around the bedroom and found it to be quite sizable……maybe there was a chance I could avoid her and maneuver around the room until I could reach the window and run away. Jess couldn’t expect to match my speed…..or my brains, of that I was sure.
She watched me like a hawk as I put the necklace in the pocket of my shorts and smiled insolently into her eyes. I made a gesture at Jessika with both hands that clearly said:
Come on.Seeing that, she flushed angrily at the thought of a small girl like me challenging her to fight for what was rightfully hers in the first place…….and she charged.
Her hands curled into claws and she rushed directly at me. She was faster than I anticipated but not as fast as me. I leaped to the side and she caught only a small strip of my t-shirt. It ripped, but I had vacated the spot I was in a split second before. She turned to face me, her face working with rage at being outmaneuvered.
“What’s the matter, Marie, huh?” stormed Jessika. “You try to steal what’s mine, yet you don’t have the guts to fight me for it?”
“Save it, Jess,” I laughed. “As big as you are and as small as I am, don’t think you’re going to goad me into a fistfight. I’m too smart for you.”
Jessika looked as if she was going to say something else, but instead launched another mad rush directly at me. Her arms were extended menacingly in front of her and I side-stepped once again, jumping onto the bed. My swift motion left her lunging awkwardly and as she went off-balance, I snapped a quick punch to her face. To my surprise and delight, it landed solidly on her nose and drew a smattering of blood. Pawing at the wound, Jessika stood back, examining the blood on her hand and looking at me, amazed.
Never one to give up, Jessika jumped on the bed to get me. I stepped backward off the bed and as she followed, I grabbed her by the hair and used her forward momentum to pull her in the direction she was going. She smashed face-first into the wall and sank to her knees, stunned.
My heart leaped with joy as I saw her turn to me, pain and doubt in her eyes. Face it, folks…..a friend of mine says “Who needs balls when one has boobs?” Well, I would paraphrase that to say: “Who needs brawn when one has brains?” And I’ve got the brains!
Jessika stood up, looking beautiful and dangerous in her nightie; her body rippling with power and her eyes focused on mine. But those eyes were uncertain, too…..and that led me to foolishly think I could duke it out with her, using side-to-side movement to nullify her offensive maneuvers.
I jumped toward her and threw my Sunday best punch, which glanced off her cheekbone. It didn’t hurt her at all and you would think I’d have learned something from that, but I was still figuring my youth and quickness could counter anything she could throw at me. But I was wrong as Jessika threw a clubbing left hand that struck me on the side of the neck. It didn’t land as solidly as it might have, which was a good thing because she followed with a roundhouse, screaming punch that sailed over my left shoulder and hit nothing but air. That was a piece of good luck on my part because if it had landed, I would have been destroyed.
You’d think I would now abandon the “duking it out” approach, wouldn’t you? But I didn’t, electing instead to stand directly in front of Jessika in the middle of her bedroom and try to outpunch her. We threw everything we had at each other and I succeeded in landing several good shots to her face and upper body. I scratched her face with my fingernails and punched her in the stomach. Though she hurt me a couple of times, I avoided most of what she threw and figured I was winning. Then, she fooled me.
I landed a punch that caught Jessika right between the eyes and caused her to stagger. My heart jumped and I charged directly at her, preparing to finish her off. Before I could, Jess straightened up and I realized too late that she had faked being dazed in order to lure me in. It worked, as she delivered a straight hand punch that caught me flush on the forehead and knocked me down.
I was hurt and confused but still had the presence of mind not to sit there as Jessika stalked toward me. I scooted backward on my butt, but I wasn’t quick enough. Jessika grabbed me by the front of my t-shirt and pulled me toward her. I had no way to deal with her incredible strength and my small body went sailing into her arms as she lifted me upward in a powerful bear hug. She held me aloft, belly-to-belly with her strong arms crushing my mid-section. My feet were dangling off the floor and kicking wildly, but to no avail. I couldn’t catch my breath, I couldn’t squirm free……I was in big trouble.
But, even as I struggled, I remembered to use my head. And use it, I did……to thrust my forehead forward suddenly and smash her on the bridge of the nose with crunching force.
Jessika wailed in pain and released me, her hands clasping her broken nose as she hopped around the room in aimless agony. Jeez, was I
smart!Seeing her helpless for the moment, but knowing that her size could eventually get to me, I decided it was time to leave. I attempted to skirt around her and run from the room, the necklace in my pocket. Even through her pain, though, Jessika still had the presence of mind to step in front of me and block my way to the bedroom door. Being as smart as I am, I wasted no time. As I watched her plant herself in front of me, I leaped to the side and charged her. She was expecting me to make contact with her upper body, but at the last split-second, I crouched low and hurled my body full-force into the side of her knee. Jessika never expected it and was caught completely unaware as her knee caved inward and she collapsed to the floor, holding her wounded limb and rocking back and forth in pain. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had shredded the ligaments in her knee. She wasn’t getting up anytime soon.
I had won! I pulled the necklace from my pocket and held it up to her face. She was in too much pain to do anything about it.
The spoils of victory!
I knew I should get out of the house while she was incapacitated. Yet, I reasoned that Jessika wasn’t going anywhere. I took the time to put the necklace on and preen in front of the mirror in the bedroom, even as Jessika writhed in helpless agony on the floor. As I left the room, I turned to glance at her one more time….. she didn’t seem any closer to getting to her feet than she had before. My brains had defeated her brawn…..oh, yes. I was too smart for her!
As I descended the stairs, I wore the necklace and pranced slowly and proudly down one stair step at a time, pretending to be a debutante making her first society appearance. I couldn’t help giggling to myself as I walked: Jessika had the size and power, but I had the necklace. Ha!
Even as an internal alarm warned me to leave the house and not push my luck any further, I giggled again and walked into Jessika’s downstairs den to gaze at myself in the full-length mirror I knew was there. I danced before my reflection, watching the necklace as it gently shifted positions on my neck. It looked smart……I
am smart……a fitting combination! It was time to leave.
Without a care in the world, I pranced toward the enclosed foyer which led to the front door and looked up to see standing in front of me…..…. Jessika.
She was limping but lethal; her body was taut with an intensity borne of hatred……her eyes riveted on mine and glowing with a dangerous anticipation. Her hands folded into talons, reaching for the back of my neck to pull me toward her with her left hand while drawing back her right hand to throw the most powerful punch she could muster. There was no escape for me this time…….
………and as her punch rocketed toward my face, I realized I hadn’t been very smart at all.
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I didn’t wake up until the next morning. Looking around, I wasn’t surprised to see four concrete walls surrounding me with bars on the windows and door. I was in jail.
There were several criminal charges: breaking and entering, trespassing, assault…..and, of course, attempted robbery.
I had one visitor that day. It was a gleeful Jessika, dressed in jeans and a casual blouse……smiling at me and wearing the most beautiful diamond necklace I had ever seen.
