[KateA - The Devil In Heels]

Discretion is such an important life tool, especially for us girls. While the society’s in which we live are getting more accustomed to us girls fighting, that really only applies to the context of sport. One girl walking over to another, calling her a bitch and grabbing some hair is not discreet and actions like this have the potential to haunt you for years. And if you live in a Western society, there is wall to wall CCTV in all the major towns and cities. Add to that technological advances and in reality your next catfight could well be live streamed on X. Now personally I would die inside if that were to ever happen to me and I’m sure the majority of us girls feel the same.

Discretion it really does matter!

Thankfully we have of course the art that is the silent conversation and make no mistake this is an art form. I speak of course about body language. Be it a dismissive flick of your hair, a subtle roll of your eyes or an aggressive and intrusive body stance. We can totally convey a lot of information to each other without saying a word. But it can also sadly fail.

While at a university summer ball; a house mate of mine wanted a certain bitch to step outside with her. As she tells the tale, she and her quarry locked eyes for about 20 - 30 seconds then she glanced swiftly at the exit, then gave her another very quick but intense stare. They were standing about 4-5 metres apart with people walking past and breaking their line of sight frequently. Well she headed straight for the door and waited outside for her…she waited for 45 minutes. Eventually she got so embarrassed by the fact she didn’t follow her, she just went back to her university digs and died of embarrassment. I would love to sit down with those two and discuss this moment. As I wonder was the message received and understood? Or was this a failure to communicate?

There are now of course other approaches yes, but are they discrete? Could you for example step on some bitches heels at your best friend’s wedding reception and know confidently that she won’t make a scene. That all she’ll do is grab her bag and confidently follow you out of the room as if nothing sinister is occurring. Personally I would say no, so what does that leave us with? Maybe a what’s app chat? But at a crowded party / event…hmm. Perhaps you have a third person you can implicitly trust? Could work I suppose, however I personally detest getting others involved in my private affairs and what if her whisper was not that discreet

So what other options do we have? Or do we accept that perhaps an event or social gathering is not the correct time and place? But what if this is realistically your only foreseeable chance to settle a score? Wow it really is surprising how complicated catfighting is when you really think about it. The fight itself is the easy part, the events leading up to it however, it can be akin to taking a stroll through a minefield.

I guess in an ideal world we would all agree on a universally accepted emblem that we could just show each other and a simple flash of said emblem would be all we needed. My suggestion for such emblem would be based on the concept “Rose with Thorns”. The Rose represents our beauty and femininity, while the thorns…well we all know that they represent I could totally see the emblem embroiled into a top or made into perhaps a silver pendant or some nice earring.

Only problem would be unintentional challenges…imagine accidentally flashing a challenge to your best friend or sister. Now imagine them saying yes before you can clear up the misunderstanding - awkward!

So discretion…I hope we all agree it’s super important, I hope we’re all profoundly skilled in the art of the silent conversation. But tell me have I missed anything? Would anyone join me in wearing a “Rose with Thorns” emblem or have you a better idea on what emblem us girls should adopt?

Finally I shall leave you with these words “Clash in Private, Shine in Public”. It’s a school motto from a cyber fight of mine and it’s only just hit me now how true to real life this motto is for us girls…well at least for the majority of us, I think.

Xoxo
Kate

[sinclairfan]

Athletics offer numerous opportunities to send a discrete message:

> A hard foul.
> A whispered/hushed insult.
> In tennis/pickleball, "accidentally" hitting her with the ball.


As for office/classroom contexts:

> Asking her an embarrassing question in front of her boss.
> "Accidentally" snubbing her when arranging a group lunch/ Happy Hour.

[TheCatfightChancellor]

I love it Kate.  This is the dance I think I am most intrigued by the most.  Prior to two women going off as they should be able to and settle it their way as THEY choose privately without interference.  It is the non-verbal body language, the posturing, the looks and stares from a far. The chance to physically bump and if lucky enough chance to be smooth and cool enough to challenge her without drawing massive attention is indeed a true artform. I will, being a man, assume alpha ladies who enjoy this type of stuff,  pick up on all these things better than a non alpha who would only chose to fight if directly attacked physically. Having been lucky enough to witness fights like this with women I knew, just let them be and do not interrupt.  Only there to make sure no weapon or stupidity happened if one became absolutely defenseless and someone took it too far, which mever happed BTW. From the women that I have chatted with here always intrigues the hell out of me this beautiful dance leading up to the real point of it all. 

[KateA - The Devil In Heels]

I love it Kate.  This is the dance I think I am most intrigued by the most.  Prior to two women going off as they should be able to and settle it their way as THEY choose privately without interference.  It is the non-verbal body language, the posturing, the looks and stares from a far. The chance to physically bump and if lucky enough chance to be smooth and cool enough to challenge her without drawing massive attention is indeed a true artform. I will, being a man, assume alpha ladies who enjoy this type of stuff,  pick up on all these things better than a non alpha who would only chose to fight if directly attacked physically. Having been lucky enough to witness fights like this with women I knew, just let them be and do not interrupt.  Only there to make sure no weapon or stupidity happened if one became absolutely defenseless and someone took it too far, which mever happed BTW. From the women that I have chatted with here always intrigues the hell out of me this beautiful dance leading up to the real point of it all.

It’s a dance for sure, not sure if beautiful is the word I would use to describe it…I will give it some thought but “Cold, Clinical and maybe even professional” are the words that come to my mind. I’m sure there are better words however.

[KateA - The Devil In Heels]

Athletics offer numerous opportunities to send a discrete message:

> A hard foul.
> A whispered/hushed insult.
> In tennis/pickleball, "accidentally" hitting her with the ball.


As for office/classroom contexts:

> Asking her an embarrassing question in front of her boss.
> "Accidentally" snubbing her when arranging a group lunch/ Happy Hour.

I disagree with your sporting examples Sinclair. Sorry but for me they’re not discreet. Think about it, you’re essentially picking a fight in front of an audience who will have all eyes on you. You can make an argument I guess for that quiet whisper etc, however in the context of a sporting occasion chances are things will boil over. Remember now, we don’t want things to boil over. We want to manage the situation and orchestrate a finale which will be a private affair. Embarrassing / provoking the other party in public will more than likely result in an immediate response and a few red cards for violent conduct.

The office ones face a similar problem in that you’re still essentially picking a fight in public again and at worse you may even be judged as being unprofessional. Judgments like this need to be avoided at all costs.

Also what is the ultimate reward for being discreet? Well let me tell you, the reward is the perfect catfight or as close to perfection as you can get. As if you don’t advertise it, if you successfully keep emotions in check and a cool head. It’s highly possible that after everything is all said and done you and your opponent will cover for each other. Knowledge that this catfight took place will be a closely held secret with only the most trusted confidants in the know. Now I’m not saying this outcome is common but it is achievable.

I’ve had catfight with a friend before and to my knowledge none of our other friends know a damn thing about it. Because if they did, there would be one well of an argument and of that I’m sure.

Xoxo
Kate

[TheCatfightChancellor]

I love it Kate.  This is the dance I think I am most intrigued by the most.  Prior to two women going off as they should be able to and settle it their way as THEY choose privately without interference.  It is the non-verbal body language, the posturing, the looks and stares from a far. The chance to physically bump and if lucky enough chance to be smooth and cool enough to challenge her without drawing massive attention is indeed a true artform. I will, being a man, assume alpha ladies who enjoy this type of stuff,  pick up on all these things better than a non alpha who would only chose to fight if directly attacked physically. Having been lucky enough to witness fights like this with women I knew, just let them be and do not interrupt.  Only there to make sure no weapon or stupidity happened if one became absolutely defenseless and someone took it too far, which mever happed BTW. From the women that I have chatted with here always intrigues the hell out of me this beautiful dance leading up to the real point of it all.

It’s a dance for sure, not sure if beautiful is the word I would use to describe it…I will give it some thought but “Cold, Clinical and maybe even professional” are the words that come to my mind. I’m sure there are better words however.

Purely from THIS man's perspective.  Sorry to say but women are beautiful to this man on every level in this mode.  Not saying it is right, wrong, or indifferent.  Can only state my personal thoughts and opinion on how I view it.  If it the classic we agree to disagree, I will sleep just fine, as I know you will too.  Cool topic for sure.  Now I will put my neandrathal man brain away and allow the ladies to chime in on it.  I know they obviously have a better first hand knowledge if they have done this dance to a successful level and got to settle it their way privately than I ever will.

[KateA - The Devil In Heels]

I love it Kate.  This is the dance I think I am most intrigued by the most.  Prior to two women going off as they should be able to and settle it their way as THEY choose privately without interference.  It is the non-verbal body language, the posturing, the looks and stares from a far. The chance to physically bump and if lucky enough chance to be smooth and cool enough to challenge her without drawing massive attention is indeed a true artform. I will, being a man, assume alpha ladies who enjoy this type of stuff,  pick up on all these things better than a non alpha who would only chose to fight if directly attacked physically. Having been lucky enough to witness fights like this with women I knew, just let them be and do not interrupt.  Only there to make sure no weapon or stupidity happened if one became absolutely defenseless and someone took it too far, which mever happed BTW. From the women that I have chatted with here always intrigues the hell out of me this beautiful dance leading up to the real point of it all.

It’s a dance for sure, not sure if beautiful is the word I would use to describe it…I will give it some thought but “Cold, Clinical and maybe even professional” are the words that come to my mind. I’m sure there are better words however.

Purely from THIS man's perspective.  Sorry to say but women are beautiful to this man on every level in this mode.  Not saying it is right, wrong, or indifferent.  Can only state my personal thoughts and opinion on how I view it.

I understand and I can respect your viewpoint

Xoxo
Kate

[sinclairfan]

My two-cents is that when you achieve Kate-level discretion, you gain certain things, but you lose so, so many more:
> You lose the satisfaction of the friend group learning for a fact who the better woman was.
> You lose the satisfaction of getting 'mating rights' with her bf/ex, as a certain member on here used to call it.
> You lose the right to rub your win in her face in public.
>>> If you happen to lose, or even draw, to her in the future, she will do all of the above to you.  Revenge is a dish best served cold, after all.

[KateA - The Devil In Heels]

Well that’s life SinclairFan and you’re right! With my level of discretion you do lose somethings but crucially you also protect key aspects of your life that are of huge importance. The obvious of these being your career, if my employer found out about me being a catfight - I’d end up with one of those chats which basically goes “it would be better for everyone if you just resign”. I really don’t want or need that conversation!

However let’s look at your points one by one, shall we

You lose the satisfaction of the friend group learning for a fact who the better woman was.

Do they really need to know? The women I’ve found myself in catfights with where I’ve exercised my level of discretion are not connected to my friends…for the most part. There are yes, some very loose connections in one case involving my former best friend. But when our friendship ended (quite spectacularly I must add) the friend circle split and two new ones took form very quickly and with very little cross over. Me and my former best friend would happily rip each other’s proverbial throats out, things are still extremely bitter and toxic between us. But we still do agree one thing, we’re both trying to keep our friends out of it. Also I have nothing to prove to my friends - they’re awesome

You lose the satisfaction of getting 'mating rights' with her bf/ex, as a certain member on here used to call it.

‘Mating rights”

*looks at my watch*

Sorry for a moment I thought we were transported back to the age of the Neanderthal

Maybe this is a generational thing? however in most, but definitely not all situations I’ve heard of where two women have been seeing the same man and they subsequently found out about each other. The majority of the time they both dump his ass, occasionally they will fight over him. But my lived experience suggests this is honestly fairly rare. As for stealing another woman’s boyfriend, it’s a fun thing to think about. But how many of us girls wake up one week and make the conscious decision to steal another woman’s man? I honestly don’t know. Would I intentionally steal another woman’s man? Not telling

You lose the right to rub your win in her face in public.

This is not true! If you’ve kicked a bitches ass, she has to live with it and deal with it. When I run into some of the bitches I’ve had catfights with, the dynamic between us is clear. I’m the one who’s smiling and confident, she’s the bitch who can’t stand making eye contact, has gone very quiet and looks like she’s hoping the world will swallow her up. Well that’s the way round I like, but won’t lie…sometimes it’s been me wanting the world to swallow me up.

If you happen to lose, or even draw, to her in the future, she will do all of the above to you.  Revenge is a dish best served cold, after all.

Finally I find myself in agreement Clearly it’s the winners prerogative to do what she wants and trust me! I’m well aware of what the potential consequences of defeat look like after a catfight.