Hi, some years ago I saw a therapist regarding my whole obsession with this. I dug up the old notes. It is a little lengthy but I figured I’d share. Would love to hear people’s thoughts on it.
First let me just give you some background on me. I’m in my early 60’s and have been into women’s wrestling/cat fighting since I was about 10 or 11. A particular part of the fantasy for me involved my best friends mom who I always thought of being dominated by other women. Of course presently when I think about it in my mind she is 35-55 years old. Not her current age.
She was and is one of the sweetest women you would ever want to meet so that’s what I was struggling with and why I chose to talk to a therapist about it.
Ok, so here is what she said both about the turn in of women wrestling in general and the obsession with my best friends mom wrestling and always losing to other women.
My fascination has deep psychological roots and the longevity of the fantasy (35 plus years) means it isn’t random—it’s built on a stack of early emotional imprints.
Women Wrestling/Catfighting
* Catfight fantasies grow from a combination of Sexual Charge, Maternal Tension, Competitiveness and seeing a woman lose control
* Around age 10-16 my nervous system fused feminine power, softness and dangerous closeness into one emotional category.
* Women’s wrestling and catfighting are not random interests for me. They’re symbolically loaded scenes where multiple emotional currents collide at once. For someone with my early imprint, these scenes become the perfect container for desire, conflict, nostalgia, and power.
* Wrestling exposes the body gradually. Unlike nudity, which is immediate, wrestling gives, slipping straps, exposed thighs, stretched tops, heavy breathing, pinned hips, sweat, hair falling, the moment clothing almost but doesn’t quite come off
* Wrestling creates vulnerability without malice. Wrestling gives loss of control, exposure, surrender, struggle, and de desperation.
Obsession With My Best Friend’s Mom Wrestling and Being Dominated by Other Women:
* With my best friend’s mom I had proximity, familiarity, emotional warmth, forbidden desire, and visual triggers (her curves, the way she dressed)
* When an early imprint forms, the brain “sets” certain sensory experiences as lifelong arousal cues. In my case:
• Busty women
• Tight clothing
• House dresses
• Vulnerability
• Women being physically dominated
These didn’t start as “fetishes”—they became them through repeated emotional charging. This imprint is why I don’t simply like women’s wrestling generally, I’m drawn to a very specific emotional texture rooted in my past.
My friends mom wasn’t just attractive—she was a caregiver figure, older, maternal, accessible but unreachable, safe but forbidden.
For a boy on the edge of puberty, the nervous system struggles with attraction to a person in that role. Wrestling—and especially domination a symbolic way to “flip” the power, a container for desire, a structure that makes transgressive feelings feel allowed.
In fantasy, watching her dominated lets me feel desire without guilt, closeness without responsibility, intensity without having to reveal my own vulnerability.
Maternal softness meeting danger
A profoundly erotic combination because it mirrors early experiences of wanting closeness to a nurturing figure while feeling overwhelming sexual energy.
Reduce her power to a manageable level
Young I felt intimidated, mesmerized, helplessly aroused, beneath her adult womanhood, aware she held all the power.
Seeing her controlled, pinned, or overpowered reverses that emotional imbalance.
It also makes her sexuality visible and unambiguous
A dominated woman is, revealed, exposed, forced into vulnerability, stripped of the “mom” authority.
This allowed my younger self to look at her sexually without guilt or confusion.
It symbolically gives me access
Not necessarily sexual access—but emotional access.
Your friends mom is reachable, open, not above me, not protected by adult status, not someone you need permission from
Her vulnerability resonates with my own early vulnerability.
Why dominance of her by another woman magnifies your arousal
It isn’t just that two women fight. It’s the dynamic. My friends mom is soft, maternal desirable and familiar. Her opponent is sharp, forceful threatening and represents sexualized danger.
This contrast creates an emotional jolt my erotic system learned to crave.
The opponent “activates” forbidden arousal
My friends mom, in my adolescence, was a forbidden figure.
But she was also safe, warm, motherly, comforting.
When a stronger, crueler, more sexual woman manhandles her that safe maternal femininity becomes exposed, that forbidden eroticism becomes visible, that softness becomes vulnerable and i’m still just watching the way I did as a teen
Lastly Why it Still Resonates so Much
This is the thing that made me see the psychologist. I felt guilty that I still felt this way all these years later. Here were her thoughts.
The adolescent brain “imprints” like wet cement
Ages 11–15 create what neuroscientists call an erotic template window. The limbic system (emotion) is fully online, the prefrontal cortex (regulation) is still offline. Dopamine, testosterone, and adrenaline are spiking. Visual stimuli create permanent emotional associations
Whatever excites you then becomes a lifelong trigger.
And for me that was, my friends moms curves, swimsuits and bras along with her warmth, scent, softness, maternal presence and her vulnerability.
The whole thing resolves shame by externalizing it
Your shame as a teen came from, wanting my friends mom, looking at her body, feeling like a boy around her curves, hiding my desire.
So her opponent does the dirty work by exposing, humiliating and dominating her.
So you I get what I want (Her vulnerability)
without feeling responsible or guilty.
My shame is healed through distance.
My desire is satisfied through witnessing.
And my respect for her stays intact because I never harm her I only observe.
