Baby Bump Battle Episode 6 - The Pre-natal Yoga Class Exercise Ball Strikes Back

[Youngbritishbitch]

The prenatal yoga studio was quiet.

Not peaceful quiet. Suspicious quiet.

The kind of quiet that suggested someone had been doing something they absolutely should not have been doing.

And indeed, in the centre of the room, Barth Vadder and Masteress Celeste stood facing each other in dramatic, wide‑legged stances.

Arms raised. Fingers splayed. Faces contorted in intense, heroic effort.
They were controlling nothing.
Absolutely nothing. But they were doing it with conviction.

Celeste inhaled sharply. "The Mild but Firm Pressure flows through all things."

Barth exhaled loudly. "It does not flow. It stabilises. There is a difference."

Celeste shifted into a pose that looked like a flamingo attempting diplomacy.
Barth shifted into something that might have been a lunge or might have been a cramp.

They held their poses. They gurned. They trembled. They manipulated precisely zero molecules of air.

And then the exercise ball rolled.

Not dramatically. Not quickly. Just... purposefully.

It rolled between them.

And stopped.

Dead centre.

Perfectly still.

Celeste gasped. "It has chosen."

Barth nodded solemnly. "The omen is clear."

The door opened.

Sam and Tori walked in.

Sam blinked. "...Why are you both sweating?"

Tori pointed at the ball. "...Why is that in the middle of the room?"

Celeste turned to them slowly, reverently. "It summoned you."

Sam checked her phone. "Class starts in two minutes."

"No," Celeste said. "The ball called you."

Barth nodded. "It is statistically improbable that you arrived at the exact moment of its intervention."

"It's literally the class time," Sam said.

"It is destiny," Celeste insisted.

"It's the timetable," Tori replied.

The ball wobbled.

Just a tiny shift.

A small, deliberate tremor.

Sam and Tori both felt it.

A pull.

A nudge.

A familiar, ominous tightening in their stomachs.

Sam groaned. "Oh no."

Tori sighed. "Not again."

Their bumps shifted.

Once.

Twice.

Synchronised.

A faint glow pulsed beneath their tops.

Then--*boop.*

Their bellies collided.

Then parted.

Then collided again.

Then shot sideways across the room as the babies inside them launched into a furious, chaotic, utterly unnecessary prenatal duel.

Sam staggered backwards as her bump yanked her toward the wall. Tori spun in a half‑circle as hers dragged her in the opposite direction. They ricocheted off yoga blocks. They booped into a stack of bolsters. They booped into each other. They booped into the mirror. They booped into the air itself.

Celeste shouted, "Balance!"

Barth shouted, "Limitation!"

Sam shouted, "Tori, make it stop!"

Tori shouted, "I'm not doing anything!"

Their bellies clashed again, LuxÉpée energy flickering in faint, muffled *vmmm‑vmmm* pulses. The room shook with the kind of intensity normally reserved for dramatic movie finales, except here it mostly resulted in a poster peeling off the wall.

Then the exercise ball rolled.

Slowly.

Purposefully.

It tapped Sam's foot.

The duel stopped instantly.

Sam froze.

Tori froze.

Their bumps dimmed.

The babies fell silent.

Celeste gasped. "The ball has spoken."

Barth nodded. "The confrontation has reached its ordained conclusion."

Sam and Tori were panting, hair everywhere, clothes askew, eyes wide.

Celeste took one step forward.

Then another.

Then she clutched her chest.

"Oh," she whispered. "The Pressure... loosens..."

Sam blinked. "What?"

Tori frowned. "Are you okay?"

Celeste staggered dramatically, reaching out toward them.

"Children... my time... has come..."

Sam dropped to her knees beside her. "No--Celeste--"

Tori grabbed her hand. "You're going to be fine--"

Celeste shook her head faintly. "The Mild but Firm Pressure... calls me... home..."

Barth knelt on her other side, eyes shining with reverence. "Yes. Yes, I feel it. The transition has begun."

Sam stared at him. "What transition?!"

Tori pointed. "She's literally breathing!"

Celeste lifted one trembling hand toward the ceiling.

"I go now... to the Holy Island of Tallness..."

Barth gasped. "I hear your spirit already."

Sam's lip trembled. 
Tori sniffled.

Celeste's hand fell.

Her breathing stopped.

Sam gasped. 
Tori covered her mouth.

Barth whispered, "She has transcended."

A beat.

A long, reverent beat.

Then Celeste's fingers twitched.

She rolled onto her stomach.

Sam whispered, "...Is she--?"

Tori whispered, "She's moving."

Barth clasped his hands. "Her spirit rises. Her body follows."

Celeste pushed herself to her feet.

She stood tall.

Very tall.

Then she began to elegantly flap her arms in the slow, floaty way yoga teachers do when they're trying to demonstrate "energy flow."

"I rise..." she breathed. "I rise... my spirit ascends..."

She flapped toward the door.

Sam and Tori watched, devastated.

Barth watched, awestruck.

"The shaded side of the Pressure grows stronger," he murmured. "Her ascension is a sign."

Celeste reached the door.

Turned.

Flapped once more.

And glided out into the corridor.

Sam's phone rang.

She jumped.

It was a video call.

From Celeste.

Sam answered with shaking hands.

Celeste appeared on screen, standing outside the building, still flapping.

"Children... I speak to you now through the spirit realm."

Tori said, "You're literally outside."

Celeste ignored her.

"Samantha... you must continue your training alone."

Sam sniffled.

Celeste turned her gaze to Tori.

"And Tori... Barth is only the apprentice. There is a darker presence manipulating him. Help him find the truth."

Barth gasped. "A darker presence... of course. I should have sensed it."

Celeste nodded gravely. "Farewell... until the realms align again..."

She ended the call.

Sam burst into tears. 
Tori wiped her eyes.

Barth bowed his head. "Her wisdom echoes through the ether."

The door opened.

Hannah and Emily walked in carrying bakery bags.

Hannah said, "We were in the bakery and saw Celeste flapping down the street."

Emily nodded. "If class is cancelled, we can all go home now."

Sam and Tori cried harder.

Barth nodded solemnly. "Her ascension has concluded."

Hannah sighed. "Right. Coats on. Everyone out."

The babies fell asleep instantly.

[Youngbritishbitch]