[Nutmeg]

Making comments questioning someone's sanity or character based on their sexual preference is hurtful and ignorant. We seem to forget that until 40 years ago, being any sexuality other than heterosexual was considered a mental disorder.  If a person's sexual preference causes no harm to themselves or anyone else, why do you care?  Never mind the irony of threatening actual violence towards someone because they might IMAGINE violence.

Yes there are elements of the fetish I don't care for but it is in how those elements are expressed IN REAL LIFE that would affect me. If you want to imagine me with a black eye, so be it. If you want to have me get punched in real life to get said black eye, then we have a problem Similarly, if you hold myself and another woman at gun point forcing us to have a hair pulling cat fight for your pleasure, that is harmful, despite no permanent physical damage.

Most people's fetishes look bizarre to people who don't find the same thing sexy. It doesn't make them necessarily wrong. Feet aren't terribly sexy to me but I can appreciate that some do find them extremely so. Many fetishes are multi-faceted, and this one is no exception. You aren't required to love all of them, but give people the same respect they give your branch of the kink. This is a place where people should feel safe in expressing their kink without fear of personal attack or threats of violence as long as said kink fits in the rules of the site. Yes you can have an opinion, but inflicting it on people is not the same as expressing it.

Jondo53, perhaps a better comparison would be the TV show Game of Thrones than Steven Seagal or Bond, since that is a very popular show which is known for selling sex appeal alongside physical and sexual violence and making little bones about it. Or any of the non glittering vampire shows where sexual tension is alongside a being looking to tear your jugular out. People may not find these shows their taste and they do suffer criticism for the mix, but I don't see anyone suggesting 7 million viewers need to be committed to an asylum either.

If what someone is into isn't harming anyone in real life, why the fuss? If you are concerned that someone is thinking overly long on violence, may I suggest turning in your local crime or horror novelist too while you are at it.

[jondo53]

Jondo53, perhaps a better comparison would be the TV show Game of Thrones than Steven Seagal or Bond, since that is a very popular show which is known for selling sex appeal alongside physical and sexual violence and making little bones about it. Or any of the non glittering vampire shows where sexual tension is alongside a being looking to tear your jugular out. People may not find these shows their taste and they do suffer criticism for the mix, but I don't see anyone suggesting 7 million viewers need to be committed to an asylum either.

If what someone is into isn't harming anyone in real life, why the fuss? If you are concerned that someone is thinking overly long on violence, may I suggest turning in your local crime or horror novelist too while you are at it.

I've not seen Game of Thrones, so can't comment on it, but there is a connection between action films and sex, and that violent films do attract a big audience can be seen by the fact that they've been a success since cinema was invented, and still are. They've been big budget projects from the days of John Wayne to Stephen Seagal. Beautiful women are usually involved, even if only as onlookers, and tough girls have always been attractive to the male eye, from Emma Peel and Honey West to Xena and Buffy. These female characters are certainly sex and violence, though an exception is Ripley from the Alien films (which are brilliant!) who isn't attired in figure hugging clothing, and is no superwoman, just a gutsy person who does her beast. Which, I think, is what has made her the number one definition of a heroine, she's real. But perhaps I'm straying off the subject of cat fighting, which is the reason this forum exists.
Must add that I love vampire films, especially those made by Hammer with Christopher Lee as the evil Count. They do mix sex and violence, though it is done with style, and watching them has not made men go and sink their teeth into the necks of young women. In fact the human race was committing a great deal of violence long before the mass media arrived to stir our imagination.

[maine516]

Fatima - I understand your frustration with how some of this thread has gone.  If you, or others, feel that any of my comments have been hurtful or negative, then I apologize for that perception.  That has not been my intent.  I joined in this discussion frankly because the topic itself that you raised "permanent damage" is I think significant.  I also think you started the thread for a reason - maybe just to state your feelings or maybe to see how others felt.  In any case, I know you didn't have to, but I really applaud your explanation above.  It is a very honest and thoughtful expression of why you have this fantasy.  As I said back at the beginning (and please people, don't go jumping off the deep end saying that I'm judging her or whatever), I honestly believed that to feel the way you do would most likely stem back to some form of resentment against others from an earlier part in your life.  And you've explained that it could very well come from that.  You also indicated that for you it is a lot less about sexual stimulation than it is about causing embarrassment to your fantasy opponent (the revenge factor if you will).  I think that's an important distinction and why it's not something you want to see in reality.  If those feelings were in reverse, then I think that might be another story.  So let me just end this by saying again that I appreciate your explanation.  In one single post, you very accurately addressed the heart of the matter in my view.  Kudos to you honey.   

At this point I'm going to exit from this discussion.  I don't normally let myself get dragged into these types of touchy exchanges.  Folks tend to jump all over every word someone says and start accusing them of malicious intent when they don't even know the person.  As we should all know by now, email type conversations such as these can be taken too literally and easily lead to misunderstanding of a person's intent.  A subject such as this can also easily generate pro and con responses, which seems to cause condemnation and defensive replies, taking the actual subject off course.  Too bad, as a topic such as "permanent damage" should invite differing opinions and meaningful discussion. 

[fatima.fatty]

Why thank you very much, Maine, I appreciate the sentiment