My name is Carly. This fall, I was supposed to be going away to college for the first time. And not just any college. Although Harvard, Yale, and Princeton were probably a "bridge too far" for me, seeing as I neither learned Mandarin Chinese nor volunteered in Guatemala, the lesser Ivies (Brown, Penn--heck, Donald Trump got into Penn) were not out of the question. But if not the lesser Ivies, then certainly Williams /Amherst /Wesleyan /Ithaca /Swarthmore /etc were on my agenda for Fall 2017, as i turned 19 years old. Somewhere in the northeast. Somewhere girls go to meet suitably connected boys, to make a suitable social match for the daughter of my Atlanta, Georgia cosmetic dentist father.
So, imagine my father's disappointment around 2013 or so, when I entered high school. My grades slipped when puberty hit, my thick, shiny brown hair came in, my chest ballooned to a 38C, and I got boy-crazy. And by boys, I mean girls. I Snapchatted and Instagrammed with girls constantly. I partied with and had sex with them, too. But that's not what hurt my grades. It was the late nights on my cellphone. I lost all interest in academics, and had no energy for volunteering or extra-cirriculars. I'm over it now, but for three years there, I was literally addicted to my cellphone. It was the older, and younger, sibling I never had growing up.
So imagine my dad's disappointment when the college applications came back in spring of senior year in high school. Reject. Wait list. Sorry. 0 for 8 on "acceptable" schools. I got in to Georgia State and Valdosta State. But when push came to shove, neither of us could face a future of my resume showing those schools on my resume, of hanging those school's diplomas in my den. Sorry I'm a snob, but that's how we both felt.
So, Dad started asking his cosmetic dentist friends for a backup plan. He found a private prep school in New Hampshire that lets you do a "5th year" of high school. Polish up on any academics that you missed out on. Round out your volunteer experiences. But, mostly, apply one more time to your target schools, and maybe add a few others for whom this prep school has become a feeder school. The price is steep--$42,000 of tuition and room and board for my dad, and the humiliation of one more year of high school for me. But we were both willing to pay it.
When I came for orientation in June, I began to have some reservations. All the other girl's had a story similar to me--high school had come and gone too fast, and they weren't in the college and state of mind they and their patents had expected to be in. But their excuses were far, far more harrowing than mine. Opioid or even one case of Crystal meth addiction (fuck, Crystal meth? Even the hardest core kids I knew in Atlanta knew to avoid that crap), alcohol addiction, cutting, gambling. These girls were a virtual all-star team of 21st century upper middle class dysfunction. Nice girls, don't get me wrong. But every conversation started with a "What are you in for?" intro, and mine seemed so innocent that I was often tempted to embellish. I think one day I may even have diagnosed myself has having had a sex addiction, and the girl I was telling my story to didn't even flinch.
Enough about that, tho. Here's my real story.
In the June orientation, we were put on notice that there was a strict Code of Conduct, with zero tolerance for breaking it. No surprise there--this was clearly a "Last Chance for Gas" Station for all of us--i would fully expect us all to be on our bestg behavior. One less temptation for us to fall for and permanently ruin our already tenuous futures. Sounds fair.
So imagine my surprise when I arrive back for classes in August 2017, and am told by my new classmates that there's a girl named Kelly who wants to fight me after school. During the June orientation, several of the girls who gotten each other's Instagram id's, and had started networking. Because of my unfortunate history on Instagram, I had decided to steer clear. I had a couple girl's texts for emergencies and coordinating essentials, but I didn't trust myself to budget my cellphone time appropritely--i probably never will. Also, to tell you the truth, I don't expect to make any permanent friends in this prep-school-slash-psych-ward. I hope to re-integrate into normal society as quickly as possible once May 2018 arrives.
So, my roommate Andi had to fill me in on what had occurred in cyberspace during the 10 weeks since orientation. Apparently this was this small circle of girls who decide they're going to be the Queen Bees of our motley crew. And they're going to invite me because I'm so attractive. They'll use me, and a couple other particularly attractive classmates, to get into clubs, college frat parties, whatever.
Well, this whack job Kelly senses that she's being left out of the Queen Bee circle, and makes it known to them to she feels she's a more worthy member than "that Georgia basic bitch Carly". Now, I've neither sought membersip in nor known of the existence of the circle forming--how could I? I was "off the grid" all summer. But Krazy Kelly feels her make up year slipping away from her before it's even started, and comes to campus in August looking for a fight.
Now, Kelly and I do make a good matchup. We both have long thick brown hair, both about 5-9, both with big chests. And we've both been in fights. We were both sure to get that tidbit "out there". As in--I don't have a problem with her, not lookin for trouble, but just puttin it out there, I know how to handle my business, know what I'm sayin?
In other words, there was no face saving way for us to avoid a fight.
Now, you ask, what about the school's zero tolerance policy.
Well, this school has been hosting crazy chicks for falls since the 1930s. There's a school tradition for everything, including school chickfights.
It's this pit, in the woods, off property. About a 25 minutes walk, after school. Just enough time to leave class, walk, watch a girlfight, and walk back in time for dinner.
This afternoon's main event would be Carly vs Kelly.
To be continued.......