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Question for Memorial Day story

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Offline dhalgren

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Question for Memorial Day story
« on: May 15, 2018, 10:20:47 PM »
Hi,

I want to write a story for Memorial Day, but I don't want it to be too offensive for Americans.

My idea was that, to celebrate Memorial Day, an overseas military post kidnaps a local woman (let's say Afghan) to be tossed around by one of their female fighters in front of them all. Raw fight, in the middle of the dirt, no weapons, no clothes (obviously no rules)

Obviously there is a plot twist in which the Afghan girl has a trick or two under her sleeve (to make the fight worth while), but finally the american would fully dominate and abuse the afghan girl.

Is that too much politically incorrect?

Thanks for your input in advance.

Dhalgren

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Offline KelleyVH35

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Re: Question for Memorial Day story
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2018, 11:08:06 PM »
Hi,

I want to write a story for Memorial Day, but I don't want it to be too offensive for Americans.

My idea was that, to celebrate Memorial Day, an overseas military post kidnaps a local woman (let's say Afghan) to be tossed around by one of their female fighters in front of them all. Raw fight, in the middle of the dirt, no weapons, no clothes (obviously no rules)

Obviously there is a plot twist in which the Afghan girl has a trick or two under her sleeve (to make the fight worth while), but finally the american would fully dominate and abuse the afghan girl.



Is that too much politically incorrect?

Thanks for your input in advance.



Dhalgren

Not just politically incorrect but insulting to the American Armed Forces.  Kidnapping innocent people is not in the playbook. 

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Offline Nutmeg

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Re: Question for Memorial Day story
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2018, 11:30:37 PM »
It is in extremely poor taste especially linking it with a day honoring veterans. Saying that the armed forces of any nation is going around kidnapping the local populace to humiliate them and/or derive sexual pleasure from them is never going to be seen as good taste. Especially when some of the duties in places like Afghanistan was to empower the female populace. And to top it all off, the guys doing it don't even get a comeuppance?

I'm not even American but as someone who has worn a uniform for my nation and the public, that is a story I would not be terribly interested in unless pulled off with some great skill.







https://megforrest.blogspot.com/ used to post stuff there. You will have to log into goggle to see it

The biggest fakes here are those posing as humans.

Death will not be a tragedy but an inconvenience for others.

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Offline catfightlover40

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Re: Question for Memorial Day story
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2018, 12:35:41 AM »
Hi,

I want to write a story for Memorial Day, but I don't want it to be too offensive for Americans.

My idea was that, to celebrate Memorial Day, an overseas military post kidnaps a local woman (let's say Afghan) to be tossed around by one of their female fighters in front of them all. Raw fight, in the middle of the dirt, no weapons, no clothes (obviously no rules)

Obviously there is a plot twist in which the Afghan girl has a trick or two under her sleeve (to make the fight worth while), but finally the american would fully dominate and abuse the afghan girl.

Is that too much politically incorrect?

Thanks for your input in advance.

Dhalgren

Some comedians are of the opinion that comedy equals tragedy plus time, and yet, two words: Abu Ghraib. To expand on nutmeg's response, the premise in the question is already misleading. Diverting from politically correct to make a point, often in accordance with the community it affects is not synonymous with offensive. For one, it's racially charged. To that I say, given FCF's guidelines, even if you'd write the story, it still wouldn't be wise to publish it here.

Furthermore, there's a huge blind spot you're missing and that's inter branch rivalry. If your story would be about a corporal whose boyfriend plays in the Army vs Navy match as, say, a linebacker and there's a sailor whose husband plays for the Navy, them having a bar fight which branch is superior would be all to lifelike.

That is, given the benefit of the doubt the story isn't just an excuse to be offensive for the sake of offense and wanting to get away with it. What is to be understood here, and it's true for all military, they form a united front toward the enemy even if they bicker and fight within. Despite all tensions, the US military is the biggest and most diverse public employer, where, on a gradual scale, people are more and more brothers and sisters to each other and family to the loved ones of fallen soldiers, regardless of background.
The  home of my multi-part work: https://www.patreon.com/powelltothepeople

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Offline dhalgren

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Re: Question for Memorial Day story
« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2018, 05:41:37 AM »
Great!
I am really thankful to you all!
I had the exact same concerns, and that you all agreed on such poor taste just confirmed all my bad feelings about the idea.
But, since I consider myself kind of oversensitive sometimes, it was better for me that someone else told me my own thoughts.
Thank you again, and I hope that no one took ill the suggestion of doing such a sorry.

Till soon!

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Offline catfightlover40

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Re: Question for Memorial Day story
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2018, 09:24:01 AM »
Great!
I am really thankful to you all!
I had the exact same concerns, and that you all agreed on such poor taste just confirmed all my bad feelings about the idea.
But, since I consider myself kind of oversensitive sometimes, it was better for me that someone else told me my own thoughts.
Thank you again, and I hope that no one took ill the suggestion of doing such a sorry.

Till soon!

Being as someone who grew up and lived in a place culturally similar to the Deep South, I had all the makings of remaining someone, who can easily discard concerns of others, seeing they were so few ( a fallacy from the textbook). There's an easy fix to avoid too much concern, something I call a who/what line. It is to mean, denigration in 9 out of 10 cases, especially from outside a community comes from belittling or ignoring someone for what they are or perceived to be something they are instead of seeing the person themselves. Leaving that behind, and concerning the who, the person, I always find it best to discuss it with the group affected, how far human conflict can go, since it's supposed to be a fantasy after all.
The  home of my multi-part work: https://www.patreon.com/powelltothepeople