[Jenny88]

This is a short account of my first serious fight. I was not sure which category to post it in because it's not as well put together or detailed as other posts here. I apologise if it's the wrong category.



At the time I was college freshman. I went to college in town and so did my high school boyfriend. We were together for almost a year which is pretty long for a high school relationship. Recently I felt that he was cheating on me so I put some of my friends on mission to find the truth. Turned out I was right and he'd been cheating on me with a senior from our high school.

I planned to dump him and also make him feel and look bad. A Friday afternoon when I knew he'd be picking her(let's name her Ashley) up, I dressed the best I could and waited for them outside the school to catch them in the act, call him out in front of everyone also make him jelous.

Ashley was this tall, sexy, busty popular blonde girl. She was dressed in tight low jeans and short top. When I started calling him a cheter, Ashley started defending him, saying that I wasn't treating him well. I told her that she's a bitch for sleeping with another girl's guy. She said that he had told her that we had broken up. I told her this was a lie. She replied that I was too dumb to realize that I was dumb.

I was losing the trash talk. Somehow the streotype that pretty girls are weak hit me so I decided to make it physical. I should've known better. She had a wonderful body which clearly was result of very hard work.

I attacked her we were struggling for sometime until I got the upper hand. On top of her, I was hitting her as fast and as hard as I could but after sometime I realized although I was on top I was trapped. After I got a bit tired, It was her who had her legs tangled around me and my hair in one hand. I couldn't do any damage but she hurt me every punch. I thought that if I could escape I could say I was on top so I won but she kept telling me to surrender letting everybody know who was winning.

After getting hit a fair amount I could free myself. I would've stopped if she left me an honorable way out but she was telling me to escape like a wimpy chicken. The crowd were chanting for their school's popular girl to finish me. Although I was totally gassed and badly messed up and even my top all torn, I decided to continue. My hands were too tired and she landed a few clean punches on my head. Then she kicked me in the stomach. I leaned down and held my stomach. She kicked me in the head and I felt on the ground barely conscious. She sat on me and pounded me until I was out.

I woke in a car which was driving me to hospital. It turned out that I had concussion, a broken rib and cuts to my elbows, knees, stomach and back. But physical hurt was not the worst part. I ended up taking one semester off from college because I was too badly hurt mentally. Ashley's parents were also threatening is with lawsuit for attacking their underaged daughter. Worst of all, next year she came to the same college which made me very unconformable. She actually made me cry 2 times during college in front of everybody. Overall I have carried the emotional hurt with me for the last 17 years. It's been getting lighter but definitely it shaped a big part of my personality and insecurities.

[Jenny88]

Yikes, that's rough, thanks for sharing your story......you feel better having written it? What's the biggest impact this has had on you in the last 17 years as far as personality and insecurities go?

Generally I feel better anonymously sharing this but I'm now in diminishing returns after almost 17 years. The first time I talked about this with my therapist I definitely felt much better.
Generally it made me depressed for a long time. Apart from that I always felt inadequate especially compared with girls who looked kinda similar to her. When another person cheats and you pay for it in such a big way while the other girl walks away with such a big win, it makes you feel that it doesn't matter if you are right or wrong. The only thing that matters I who is superior and you see yourself as inferior who can't have anything nice. I got passive especially for the first few years. I didn't date for 5 years after that. I kinda always feel less than others. Secretly I always dream of someday doing what she did to me to another woman in order to join the ranks of winners.

[Michael James]

Thanks for writing it!   Maybe try to take some self defense classes? I've heard that give you some self confidence at least learning some defensive moves to protect yourself in situations. Maybe even some kickboxing.   I'm not saying to go look for fights, but if something like that would help, by all means try it!


just my 2 cents.   

[tommyfighter]

Thanks for sharing. Sorry to hear you were beaten so badly. I can relate in a small way. I have been beat bad but never to the point I needed medical care. And, yes, after the fight I was depressed but I don't think it ever lasted more than a couple of weeks. Sometimes I wanted a revenge fight but others I have given enough distance so I would not face them again.

So sorry it has taken you 17 years to come this far. I hope the talking about it will help you further. Since you are stating this was your first and worst fight it sounds like you have had others. Hopefully, some of them have been on the winning side.

[LTBitch]

  So U lost a fight and let it screw up your life so bad that you are still moaning about it 17 years latter. How lame.
  U should take inspiration from the great Field Marshal Erwin Rommel.  His aid said, "This is horrible, we lost half our tanks attacking through a mine field."
  The Field Marshal Replied, "At least we know not to try that again, Now we plan our next attack."