Monique, a fashion blogger from London, has written a column to ridicule pop princess
Katy Perry as ‘the teenage nightmare with no fashion sense’. Katy at first laughed about it but when the two women met at a party Monique took the opportunity to make more fun of Katy, and finally Katy, getting angry, told her to shut up. Monique then arched her back, cupped both her boobs with her hands, and told Katy she ‘shouldn’t try to impress a girl who’s got bigger tits’ than her. Katy stared at Monique’s bust, then exclaimed, ‘Bigger tits? You? Excuse me, have you got a serious eyesight deficiency?’
The two ladies had a heated argument about the shape and size of their boobs until Katy challenged Monique to battle it out in a boob fight, tits on tits. Monique’s height being a mere 5’0”, Katy, standing six inches taller than her, added, ‘Well, you’ll have to bring a pair of really high heels to even reach my bust with your two saggy dried up udders!’
Monique, furious at Katy making fun of her lack of height, vows that she’d ‘first flatten her tits, then squash her in a wrestling match’.
Katy, amused at Monique’s threats, laughed and told her to expect a very bad beating if she tried to fight her in the ring.
MONIQUE, 5’0”: ‘My portfolio tells it all: No matter if in leather, a pleated dress, or a jumpsuit, I look a million times better than that scarecrow Katy Perry. And in any test of strength I’ll bend her any way I want like the twig she is. She’ll regret making fun of my height when I sit on her face and fart in her mouth!’
KATY, 5’6”: ‘She better shouldn’t run her big ugly mouth like that! Let’s see who’s gonna fart in whose! When you look at me in my dresses and skirts you see what a grown woman looks like. That midget wants a war, she sure can fucking have one. I’m gonna thrash her so hard she’ll kiss my feet in gratitude when I get bored of her and allow her to leave the ring. Well, that tiny little bitch won’t have to bend very far to reach my toes. Monique, you stupid little girl, you’ve made a big mistake!’
