[deity17313]

IMHO the ending was kidna stupid. Xerxes being killed would mean the execution of both of the girls via his guards. Terrible ending via the circumstances.

I do think that the ending was a bit of a cop-out too. I was hoping for at least two of the other women to start fighting after the third went down.

Don%u2019t take that as me insulting the rest of the piece, mind. The beginning and middle were both great. It just lost me at the end.

Yeah the premise was great. Just the final third act kinda fell flat imo with the buildup and the end result kinda ruining it. I agree with your points.

[Tiberius J.C.]

This was brilliant. One on one is always sexier – no third-party interference, no excuses for the loser, the better woman wins – but this was so interesting with the ingenious chess analogy, and in the end it does come down to the duel we all wanted: Larisa vs Raine, one on one, and the image of the princess at the end with her knee on the neck of the treacherous noblewoman who had sought to usurp her throne is exquisite. So die all traitors!

[Tiberius J.C.]

IMHO the ending was kidna stupid. Xerxes being killed would mean the execution of both of the girls via his guards. Terrible ending via the circumstances.

Not necessarily. It would depend upon the prevailing traditions, but if a king died without heirs, in most kingdoms (classical, medieval and even in more modern times) they wouldn't allow a commoner to accede to the throne because that would destroy the entire mystique of kingship. Instead they would invite some other person of royal blood (a prince or princess from a neighbouring kingdom) to do so, as the English did in 1689 and again in 1714. The person they would invite, in all likelihood, would be Larisa.
Even if Xerxes did have heirs, his death would in all probability be interpreted as a divine judgement upon him and all his progeny – especially if he'd been feared and loathed in his lifetime. In that case, again, they would in all probability offer the throne to Larisa, who, let's face it, has all the attributes one could ever wish for in a monarch.
The most interesting question is this: what if Xerxes had one heir and one heir alone: a proud and beautiful daughter the same age as Larisa? Those seeking continuity (few in number, I expect, if Xerxes was the tyrant one imagines) would champion her cause; those seeking regime change would champion that of Larisa. Call me a snowflake, but the only sane way I can envisage of resolving the conflict in that case would be to send them alone into the arena before the eyes of the entire nation and let the gods decide. If the princess less favoured by the gods was not killed outright in the course of the duel, she could always renounce her claim to the throne by prostrating herself before her conqueror and laying the crown at her feet.

[Rocko23]

That was excellent - and I quite liked the ending tbh!

[deity17313]

IMHO the ending was kidna stupid. Xerxes being killed would mean the execution of both of the girls via his guards. Terrible ending via the circumstances.

Not necessarily. It would depend upon the prevailing traditions, but if a king died without heirs, in most kingdoms (classical, medieval and even in more modern times) they wouldn't allow a commoner to accede to the throne because that would destroy the entire mystique of kingship. Instead they would invite some other person of royal blood (a prince or princess from a neighbouring kingdom) to do so, as the English did in 1689 and again in 1714. The person they would invite, in all likelihood, would be Larisa.
Even if Xerxes did have heirs, his death would in all probability be interpreted as a divine judgement upon him and all his progeny – especially if he'd been feared and loathed in his lifetime. In that case, again, they would in all probability offer the throne to Larisa, who, let's face it, has all the attributes one could ever wish for in a monarch.
The most interesting question is this: what if Xerxes had one heir and one heir alone: a proud and beautiful daughter the same age as Larisa? Those seeking continuity (few in number, I expect, if Xerxes was the tyrant one imagines) would champion her cause; those seeking regime change would champion that of Larisa. Call me a snowflake, but the only sane way I can envisage of resolving the conflict in that case would be to send them alone into the arena before the eyes of the entire nation and let the gods decide. If the princess less favoured by the gods was not killed outright in the course of the duel, she could always renounce her claim to the throne by prostrating herself before her conqueror and laying the crown at her feet.

Still feels unfinished. No way they would escape his kingdom without death. Just a unrealistic ending and I agree with your assessment that if he did have a heir, their would be a possibility that they would be sent to a arena in another death duel. If not death would be mandatory, especially in those ages.

[Tiberius J.C.]

IMHO the ending was kidna stupid. Xerxes being killed would mean the execution of both of the girls via his guards. Terrible ending via the circumstances.

Not necessarily. It would depend upon the prevailing traditions, but if a king died without heirs, in most kingdoms (classical, medieval and even in more modern times) they wouldn't allow a commoner to accede to the throne because that would destroy the entire mystique of kingship. Instead they would invite some other person of royal blood (a prince or princess from a neighbouring kingdom) to do so, as the English did in 1689 and again in 1714. The person they would invite, in all likelihood, would be Larisa.
Even if Xerxes did have heirs, his death would in all probability be interpreted as a divine judgement upon him and all his progeny – especially if he'd been feared and loathed in his lifetime. In that case, again, they would in all probability offer the throne to Larisa, who, let's face it, has all the attributes one could ever wish for in a monarch.
The most interesting question is this: what if Xerxes had one heir and one heir alone: a proud and beautiful daughter the same age as Larisa? Those seeking continuity (few in number, I expect, if Xerxes was the tyrant one imagines) would champion her cause; those seeking regime change would champion that of Larisa. Call me a snowflake, but the only sane way I can envisage of resolving the conflict in that case would be to send them alone into the arena before the eyes of the entire nation and let the gods decide. If the princess less favoured by the gods was not killed outright in the course of the duel, she could always renounce her claim to the throne by prostrating herself before her conqueror and laying the crown at her feet.

Still feels unfinished. No way they would escape his kingdom without death. Just a unrealistic ending and I agree with your assessment that if he did have a heir, their would be a possibility that they would be sent to a arena in another death duel. If not death would be mandatory, especially in those ages.

We're dealing with an imaginary kingdom the norms of which are what the author says they are, but in Ancient Rome (say) or Medieval Europe a captain of the guard would not on his own authority order the death of a person of royal blood, so the death of Xerxes would trigger some kind of constitutional crisis to be resolved at a higher level. If the despot had a daughter, if there's an Ivanka Xerxes out there, the thought of Larisa killing her with her bare hands in mortal combat, or better still, making her grovel and beg for her sad life (or a swift end), will be one, I imagine, not entirely without appeal for FCF readers.
So who knows? Perhaps it isn't finished. Perhaps there'll be a sequel. Any story with Larisa in would be fine by me.
Anyway, finished or unfinished, we can agree that it was an extremely well-written story, in which the action (internecine but not too gory) was vividly described, and enviably succinct.

[deity17313]

Here's to hoping for a sequel then

[Tiberius J.C.]

Here's to hoping for a sequel then

I think that task's been delegated to me. Kinda stupid's what I do best.

[deity17313]

Here's to hoping for a sequel then

I think that task's been delegated to me. Kinda stupid's what I do best.

Although I feel the writing and pacing could have been better for this story  I hope the sequel will be good. May the power of Phillip J. Fry help you write the sequel.

[Tiberius J.C.]

Here's to hoping for a sequel then

I think that task's been delegated to me. Kinda stupid's what I do best.

Although I feel the writing and pacing could have been better for this story  I hope the sequel will be good. May the power of Phillip J. Fry help you write the sequel.

Who?