[Vanessa]

For the girls...

How many of you have truly gotten your ass kicked?  I have been in a lot of fights in my life and have recently been doing some arranged fights and while I say "I got my ass kicked" generally, it's just meant losing definitively.  There was a time just after high school that I got the shit kicked out of me, wasn't a surprise at all--she was tougher, meaner, bigger for the most part and jacked me up pretty good without anyone to really break it up until she was done.

But the second time happened recently--just a little more than two weeks ago.   She was my size and very similar build.  We got mouthy with each other, went out back of the bar and no one noticed until my man noticed I was missing longer than a normal bathroom break and found us embroiled in the fight in the field behind the bar and this barbie doll blonde had already taken me to task really badly. 

I was hurt.  More importantly, I was shook and my ego was bruised.  It was unsettling to say the least, emotionally, not to mention physically painful.

Thoughts from others?  I consider myself pretty tough and I think that this was mostly emotional pain.

<3

Vanessa

[sinclairfan]

Way back in the late 1970s, some women in my PTA were taking basic self-defense at the local police station.  Tae Kwon Do is mostly about carrying yourself in such a way as to avoid a conflict, but a mouthy woman Carol insisted on challenging other women in the class to 'bouts', which was really just an excuse to get into a fight with another woman for the adrenaline rush.

One of the younger women in the class, Lisa, got tired of it and just lay a total beating on Carol after class one night.  Carol was completely broken after that--started drinking, let her looks go.  Total humiliation.

[jessiefite]

Welcome to the club, Vanessa.  The first time was the most unsettling for me.  After years of experience, I've come to see loss as the price to pay for continuing to fight past my prime.  Truth told, if I felt like I could put the urge to fight away, I would.  It takes too long to heal and has left far too many permanent scars.  But it is like a moth drawn to a flame for me.  Ego-wise and emotionally, I agree with the sense of being shaken.  I'm sure everyone understands why that sentiment prevails in these instances. But in fights, there is almost always a winner and a loser.  Even the winner can leave with substantial damage done to her person.  Draws are rare.  These are the consequences that we must accept as the possibility when we arrange for, or argue our way into, a physical fight.  I hope you have fully recovered, both mentally and physically.  I wonder how your man feels about the situation?  Has it changed the dynamic in your relationship with him?  Maybe you can discuss that aspect further.  I know that my fighting has had a profound effect on my relationships in various ways.  I look forward to hearing from you.

[KateA - The Devil In Heels]

Hi Vanessa,

I notice you say that you were at the bar. Looking back and being as objective as you can - was alcohol a factor behind your loss? I’m not trying to make excuses for you, but if you were a little worse for wear. Perhaps that is a factor you need to consider?

Now let’s assume you and this blonde were both sober or equally intoxicated. In that case the odds have just caught up with you, if you fight you will eventually lose and eventually you will encounter someone who enjoys handling out a real beating. I myself am of that persuasion, however living in the CCTV capital of the world (The UK). I rarely if ever engage in fights which I would consider public. In fact most of my fights are carefully arranged and private affairs. But I don’t fight for fun, something personal has to occur between us before I would ever resort to fighting. That being said; I do get excited by the thought of fighting and the moments before hand are my favourite.

A preference of mine is that before a catfight, me and my opponent take 30 minutes to an hour for a conversation beforehand. I love to sit next to my rival on the sofa, look each other in the eyes and discuss / argue about the events that brought us to this moment. In terms of bad defeats, I’ve had them and they hurt, physically and emotionally. The question is what do you do next, do you allow the memory of this defeat to hang over you or do you pick yourself back up. I can’t answer that question for you but you’ve picked yourself up before, so you can do it again.

But I do have a question for you; you say your boyfriend eventually found you. What happened next? Did the rest of the bar’s regulars eventually find out there was a fight and that you lost? Or were you and your boyfriend able to discreetly get you home? Also was this bar a place you regularly frequent? As this could also be a factor in why this defeat is playing on your mind - no one likes to lose on home turf.

Xoxo
Kate

[tommyfighter]

Vanessa, I would be interested in hearing a few more details on your recent fight.

[Horny-Jew]

Agree with "tommyfighter". I'd love to hear details on sexy Vanessa in a catfight.

[Sinful Senorita Carmen]

I hadn't gotten in too many RL catfights. they were always broken up pretty quick.   

I lost a lot of one sided matches in pro wrestling - but that was always booked/scripted.

In terms of getting my ass kicked bad in a competitive situation.  I lost a competitive biker event match really bad, which involved me getting stripped and humiliated in front of a crowd.

[eageremma]

That's rough Vanessa, and I can sympathize. I've mostly wrestled myself which can be just as devastating but I've also had impromptu catfights as well, mostly in college. The one that comes to mind most was against an ex-friend and roommate. We'd originally been close when we moved in, but living together had put strains on our relationship, and truthfully we were both atrocious at communicating with each other. Snipping got frequent, we'd each start doing things just to annoy the other till essentially we were loathing each other. But neither of us wanted to be the one to move out as the apartment was nice, location was perfect, and rent was fairly cheap.

Finally, one night, when our third roommate, the peacemaker and sweetest girl ever, was out on a date, we had our big falling out. It started with arguing about the dishes which then turned into everything we had grown to hate about each other. Words got nastier and cattier till finally she slapped me and we broke out into an all out fight. Initially I was fairly confident as I had taken some grappling classes and was taller, but she had some surprising muscle on her, having done dance most of her life, and we didn't hold back. In the end she had managed to strip me naked while she was topless her self and was dragging me by my hair around the apartment, taking me to places where some of our grudges stemmed. It was humiliating. Finally she was bending my arm and said she'd only let go if I promised to move out by the end of the month. I was so devastated by my loss and in so much pain I agreed and she let go, delivering one more kick to my side.

Initially I planned on going back on it but she made it clear that if I didn't, the next time our roommate was out, she'd "educate" me again. So in the end, my pride in tatters, I moved out like I promised. That has been my most devastating loss, not because it was a blow out, I held my own for much of it, but because of the emotional toll for sure and the loss of that perfect apartment.

In terms of getting my ass kicked bad in a competitive situation.  I lost a competitive biker event match really bad, which involved me getting stripped and humiliated in front of a crowd.

And might I say that I'd love to hear all about this biker event!

[tommyfighter]

Wow! That was a devastating loss. Did you ever consder a revenge match?

[eageremma]

Wow! That was a devastating loss. Did you ever consder a revenge match?

Consistently but never got around to it. All this happened the end of our junior year of college, and the next year I was studying abroad.

[catfightfan24]

That must have been terrible for you. If you don't mind me asking what did your roommate look like?

[tommyfighter]

I would appreciate a few more details about the fight. Had she done any punching? Had she kicked you several times? Also, I would be inerested in hearing aobut some of your victories.

[Horny-Jew]

 eageremma - what would happen if you saw her at a public place ? What would she do if you hit her while she was (not looking at you) in a grocery store and you said, that's for your payback from college, you bitch" ?

[KateA - The Devil In Heels]

eageremma - what would happen if you saw her at a public place ? What would she do if you hit her while she was (not looking at you) in a grocery store and you said, that's for your payback from college, you bitch" ?

Well based solely on Emma’s first post, I don’t think Emma would be hitting anyone is a public place such as a grocery store. I would say she’s definitely more classy than that! Also realistically if she did see her, I suspect Emma would ignore her unless provoked.

Contrary to popular belief most of us girls are able to control ourselves and going all “the Bride / Beatrix Kiddo” just because you see a bitch you have history with is not a common occurrence. At most Emma would possibly try to have a discreet conversation about the past and test the waters regarding a further discussion sometime soon and somewhere infinity more private. But this is almost certainly a stretch to say the least!

Also while I’m sure you guys would love to hear over the tannoy “Catfight is aisle 6, security to catfight in aisle 6”. Honestly to be involved in such a public display would make most girls hearts sink, it would be humiliating and it would be the kind of event that would stick with you and potentially haunt you for life.

Still this is just my opinion and who knows…maybe Emma will tell me I’m completely wrong?

Xoxo
Kate

[caryn1]

getting your ass kick has happened to all of sometimes.  you have to brush it off and try again.  and hope for better next time