Confessions of a Reformed Cheerleader, Chapter 5
By Jonica
“She was attacked a month ago, Lorie!” Mary's words cut through the air like a knife. I was in the hospital two days with a mild concussion. “We still don't know who did it!”
“Does it matter, Mary?”
The two old rivals stand nose to nose again. Some day their bitterness will boil over and they will erupt. I really hope I am not around to see it.
After a moment, Lorie begins to ignore Mary. She turns to me with a smile, “The doctors have cleared you to wrestle again.”
I nod and try to look interested, but her next comment really catches my ear.
“It's time to really start marketing you.”
“Marketing me? Like orange juice?”
Lorie actually giggles a little at my innocent remark, but she keeps going, “No Joni. Not like orange juice. It's time we put you on the weekly broadcast. The live audiences love you. Now it's time to take you national.”
For some reason the thought of being on television makes me giddy...and frightened...all over. Tony kept telling me it was just a matter of time, but I thought that would be a long way away. However, Lorie is right. It is time to introduce me to a wider audience. I am already going to be a feature story in Women's Wrestling Weekly...a fact that is not very popular in the locker room. My favorite tormentor...Marie B...punched me in the kidneys and kicked me in the tummy because of it.
I guess she is jealous of my sudden fame. Maybe she should be!
However, the thought of fame is a little overwhelming. Am I ready for it? I know I talk big and I love to put on a show. But am I really anything more than a simple Cajun girl from Bumfuck, Louisiana (as Mary told me I was)? I was a high school and college cheerleader, but those days are long behind me. I am now a responsible adult.
Well...as responsible an adult can be with a bright yellow convertible Camaro that will go 145 mph...and no driver's license to prove it!
Damn judge!
“We want you to try something different this week,” Lorie's voice catches my attention.
“What's that?” I ask with a half sleepy/half curious smile.
“We want you to be bad....”
She accentuates this with a moment of silence.
“We want you to be REAL bad....”
Another pause.
“Worse than Marie, Heidi, and Sadie all rolled together bad....”
This time she looks at me and I know she is waiting for a response.
I know what she is looking for. Mary told me it was coming. So did Tony. But am I capable of being the heel? I am really a sweet person. I have moments where I can be a total bitch...what girl doesn't? Tony has called me a bit of a diva. I was a trouble maker in school...but not many cheerleaders weren't.
S - O - U - L
Soul , soul , soul , soul , soul!
We got somethin that you dont got
& thats soul
What?
Soul
What?
Oh what the hell! I am a former stripper! I was born to be bad!
Chapter 5 (Bad to the Bone)
It's being billed as the “Weekly Main Event.” Every Saturday the promotion puts on a tv show in a little studio on the outskirts of the Quarter. There is a card of five or six matches highlighting the stars of the federation. The idea is to get exposure for the stars. They usually face total “jobbers” (whatever the heck those are), or two stars are chosen for the television main event. I was told that my opponent has been wrestling for a while and has many matches under her. She usually only wrestles on tv, and she is very skilled. I take this to mean that we will be evenly matched. She and I will tussle the fifteen minute time limit to showcase my growing skills and talents.
Or at least that's the way I take it.
The way it will probably go is she will dominate the match and leave me unconscious and embarrassed in the middle of the ring in front of a small studio audience and a huge national audience!
I cringe at the very thought!
Lorie wants me to play the heel today...another term I don't quite understand, but I think I have a pretty good idea what she is looking for. I've had some great role models so far: the vicious Marie...the whiny Heidi...and the sly Sadie. Maybe I can use what I learned from them to mold a nice character. I do wish I knew more about my opponent though. I can't shake the feeling I am somehow being set up!
“Will you relax! Your opponent was chosen for a reason.”
Mary's words do little to calm me. As a matter of fact...they actually cause me even more concern.
“What reason? What is up, Mary? Did you choose her?”
“No.” She says with a short laugh, “Nor would I have chosen her.”
That last comment does little to make me feel better. Mary hasn't hidden the fact that she wants to see me wrestler those who are closer to my skill level. I am gonna get killed today! I am someone's “jobber...”
“Just relax.”
“What do you know about her?” I ask...turning to Tony.
He looks at Mary but refuses to even glance at me, “Not very much, really,” he lies.
I won't be biting any pillows for him for awhile, I fume.
I take a deep breath and try to relax. I glance in the mirror and I do have to admit I love the new outfit they got me to wear for today's match! A black sports bra with my initials lining the elastic contours in yellow letters...a tight-fitting pair of black spandex booty shorts that accentuate my butt...and a pair of black Cons with yellow laces. My hair is braided in pigtails with yellow rubber bands and the look is completed with thick black mascara circling my eyes and black eye shadow giving me an almost sinister look....well as sinister as I could actually look. Gone is the cheer skirt that I would wore to the ring and removed before my previous matches. Lorie said it gave me too much of a 'girly-girl' look. She wants to abandon that look for today.
I do some light warm ups to prepare for the match, but nothing too strenuous. Lorie wants me to look fresh and right for the match. Finally, the time comes and we walk to the ring. If I thought I looked funny in my black outfit...Tony looks devious in his black tux with gold vest. Lorie wanted him to look the part of the wicked manager who will do anything to have his girl win. If I look sinister...he looks downright evil!
My opponent is already in the ring, but I don't get a good look at her until I step between the ropes...then I catch my breath!
I am so fuckin' dead!
She is at least four inches taller than me, although we probably weigh close to the same. However, she isn't skinny. She looks to be in good shape and she looks agile! The ring announcer says her name is “Jess.” The small crowd cheers wildly for her but it may be because of her ring attire more than her. Like most wrestling events...this one is attended by a 75% male audience. These guys like to watch girls wrestle. They especially like to watch girls tussle in skimpy outfits. Jess more than fits that bill.
She wears a royal blue bikini cut top that can best be described as sports lingerie, and it is having problems holding in her breasts...which are at least C cups!. Her bottoms are nothing more than matching royal blue spandex panties with lacy ribbon. She is the first wrestler I have seen in the federation who wrestles bare footed. This in and of itself seems ominous to me...Mary warned me that the bootless crowd are the ones who go for the high flying moves and like to kick. It doesn't help that Jess is fuckin gorgeous! She looks like a model! A young one.
I am so fuckin' dead!
I look at Mary...who is sitting at the television announcer's table and she nods and smiles. She mouths the word “enjoy” then turns back to the ring. I want to reach out and slap the shit out her! She wants me to enjoy getting my ass kicked?!?!
My glare is hot and dangerous, but she does a good job ignoring it.
Finally, the ring announcer introduces me and slight applause ripples through the small crowd, but there is a smattering of boos too. Lorie smiles because that is exactly what she wanted...given my appearance. Next, the referee pats us down like before. Me first...then Jess. He really seems to enjoy searching her for weapons...although I am not sure she could comfortably hide anything in that outfit.
He briefly goes over the rules...which I am supposed to break...then he steps back and calls for the bell.
My tv destruction is underway.
Wrestle, wrestle,
Twist 'em like a pretzel
Go me Go!
I nervously move out of my corner and circle my opponent. She really is about four inches taller than my 5'2. She also moves like an athlete...light on her bare feet. Her eyes stay focused on me and I sense that she is looking for a weakness. The gap between us slowly closes and when we are within arms' reach, she stops and raises both hands as if for a test of strength. Now I have been called dingbat..dumbass...idgit (Mary's favorite) and gullible, but I remember what Lorie wants me to do in this match. She wants a heel? I'll give her a heel! They want me to go down in my tv debut? Welp...I'll go down in flames!
Neil Young's words suddenly pop into my head as I fret over what fate awaits me....
better to burn out than fade away....
Then I lift my hands and lace my fingers with hers for the test of strength. As She tenses to flex against me I suddenly drive the heel of my right Con deep into her exposed tummy....right on the belly button.
“UGGGHHHHHH!!!!”
The wide-eyed, open mouthed look on her face tells me she really wasn't expecting that and she drops to one knee in front of me. I still have her hands laced in mine and I briefly struggle with her to keep her from lowering her hands to soothe her tummy. And I lift my right leg again as if for a football punt and my shin slams hard into her crotch.
“NGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!”
The crowd is now on their feet booing loudly at my underhanded, cheap tactics, but I see Lorie's grin has gotten even wider! I can't stop now. However, the referee has other ideas...
“Release the hold! Release the hold! Break, break!”
But I don't release the hold. Not immediately anyway. Instead, I keep my hands laced in hers and push her back onto her heels then force her all the way to the mat on her back with her legs bent under her. The I perform a perfect knee drop into the middle of her tummy.
At that point I break the hold.
Poor Jess writhes on the mat, but to her credit she isn't sobbing. If I took a cxnt punt I would be rolled in a ball crying like an infant. The crowd is still booing and hissing...at me! This is a first! Lorie, on the other hand is waving her index finger in a circle as if to tell me to play it up.
What to do, what to do?
I lift my hands over my head and start parading around the ring as if I had already won! This incenses the crowd and the satisfied look on Lorie's face tells me this is what she wants. Suddenly, a popcorn box flies into the ring and hits me in the side of the head. I glare at the small audience and growl, “Whoever threw that is next!”
They go wild! Several guys claim it was them and I smile maliciously and say, “I think it was the one with no teeth!” A low giggle, “Oh shit! NONE of you have teeth!”
A shower of popcorn containers rains down on the ring along with boos and hissing.
While the referee kicks the paper containers out of the ring and orders me to ignore the crowd...I smart off to them one more time, “Forget y'all! I'll just take it out on.....HER!!” I hiss and point at Jess...who is on her knees and getting to her feet.
I push my way around the referee and grab two hands full of Jess' straight brown hair. I shift my hips just as she gets all the way to her feet and toss her over my right hip and thigh by the hair. Following the hip toss, she lands and bends her arm behind her back. Her eyes closed tightly as she tries to fight off the pain. The ref is screaming, “Watch the hair! Watch the hair!” I ignore him though and kick her in the back..right were her kidney should be...with the top of my shoe.
“AGGHHHHH!!!!”
She squeals and falls onto her side. I wave at the crowd and blow them a sweet kiss. I don't know it at the time but that will forever become my trademark in wrestling!
Jess tries to roll toward the ropes but I bend down and snatch one of her bare feet and tug her to the middle of the ring. She yelps and the crowd boos lustily, but I have to keep this momentum...if not she will kill me!
I step forward and bend her leg around mine...using her knee as a pivot point. I push down on the side of her foot, and I am rewarded with a ghastly shriek of pain! To make matters worse...I grab her toes, crush them in my hand and twist them violently.
All this while glaring at the crowd as if to say I am punishing her because of them!
The referee drops to one knee and makes sure there is nothing illegal about the hold. There must not be because he doesn't make me release it. He starts asking her if she wants to submit. I twist harder and crush down on her toes. A shift of my weight forward puts more pressure on her knee and ankle. I do this each time she shakes her head no.
One of the bad things I have found so far in my television debut is that all the lights in the studio...and the blazing one overhead...make the small room heat up rather quickly.
My hands start sweating and after a moment, My hand twists off her foot. She tries to squinch her toes but I still manage to grip them again and squeeze. A whimper tells me this is working. However, for the first time all match Jess shows some signs of life. She lifts her free foot and kicks me in the side as hard as she can from the angle she had.
“Ngggghhh!!”
Now, the kick wasn't really all that hard...not as bad as it could have been. But it still packed quite a wallop...enough to force me to break the hold on her leg and foot. I step back and rub my side. She rolls onto her back and pulls her injured knee to her chest...writhing on the mat.
I see another opening and I take it as an invitation. I try a dangerous move to see what happens...with my luck it will backfire and I will wake up in the hospital. But to my surprise...the flying elbow drop lands perfectly onto the top of her boobs and the wind leaves her lungs with a 'gush!' She falls onto her back and tries to roll away. I grab her foot again and drag her back toward the middle of the ring.
The small crowd is in a frenzy by this time. My tactics and verbal abuse has taken it's toll on them. Lorie's smile tells me this is exactly what she had hoped for.
It begins as a small chant but it grows quickly into a full blown cheer....”Go Jess Go! Go Jess Go! Go Jess Go!....”
I snarl at the crowd and they boo and hiss in return. I still have my grip on her ankle and I twist it so that she is forced to roll onto her stomach. Hooking her barefoot under my armpit...I lower my body weight into a nice move that Mary taught me...apparently taught me pretty well. A single leg Boston Crab. I only want to hold her in this position long enough to taunt the crowd again, but the referee drops to one knee beside Jess and begins asking her if she gives. Again, I have to credit her..she refuses each offer.
The small audience is so bent out of shape by this point thought, that I am having more fun with them than I am my opponent...and yes...this is fun! More fun that I thought it would be! Especially considering I thought I was going to get killed!
I sense Jess is about to slap the mat in submission...so I quickly release the hold and step away.
The referee sensed it too because he gets to his feet and glares angrily at me. I smile sweetly and stop the sole of my shoe down on the back of Jess' thigh...causing a nice cramp to bunch the muscle and draw a yelp of pain.
The crowd is so frenzied now that I can't help but tweak them even more. I straddle Jess' body...one foot next to either shoulder and I bend at the waist and grip her hair. Lifting her head off the canvas, I drop my butt onto her back. The audience boos loudly as I openly cheat. The referee calls for me to break the hold, but I totally ignore him. I pull her head back so far I can see her eyes. Now sitting on her back, I lock my right arm around her throat and clench it hard against my armpit in what I will later see as a picture perfect dragon sleeper.
As I increase the pressure, Jess' hands slap my knee over and over to signal her submission. The referee calls for the bell and orders me to break the hold. However, my eyes light on Lorie's and she shakes her head slightly from side to side. I keep my struggling victim locked tight.
The crowd..and the referee..are incensed by this total disregard for the rules and the referee begins to count. If he reaches five he will disqualify me. Jess is squirming so hard that tears are rolling down her cheeks, but her movements are getting weaker and weaker. When the referee's count gets to three...a nod from Lorie tells me to release the hold. By the time I stand up the count is four, but the hold is broken.
The referee has no choice other than hold my hand aloft to signal the win. I grin at the crowd as Tony climbs through the ropes. His appearance sets them off even more. Boos, catcalls, and hisses rain down on us...along with popcorn boxes, hotdog wrappers, and drink cups. To infuriate them farther...I place my foot right on Jess's chest...between her boobs. Before I leave the ring...I blow them another kiss.
“Perfect! Absolutely stunning!”
Lorie is so exuberant that I am a little nervous. I have never seen her actually....giddy.
“You are the perfect heel! I think we have found your niche!” She giggles like a schoolgirl, “And that kiss? Oh my GOD!! You do THAT every chance you get!”
Tony puts his hand around my shoulder and says, “Great job, Joni!”
Everyone is smiling. Everyone that is except Mary...and a shadowy figure watching what is happening from across the parking lot.
