Holiday Food Fight!!! Sister vs. Sister Pt. 1
By: Supporturgoddess
Sisters are strange and mysterious life forms. I had hoped for a calm, relaxing, uneventful holiday, but my girlfriend had made plans. Her youngest sister, Melanie, was spending her first holiday season in a home of her own. Having parties and entertaining guests became very important to her. Although her parents couldn’t arrive until shortly before Christmas, Melanie came up with the idea of having a holiday party for her sisters, to make up for the fact she hadn’t moved into her new house in time for Thanksgiving. My girlfriend insisted we attend her little sister’s party. I knew better than to argue.
I’ll never fully understand the relationship my girlfriend shares with her two younger sisters. They insist on spending every second they can together, even though they have almost nothing in common, don’t get along well, and always end up fighting over the most trivial matters. I think they try so hard to make their time together perfect that the tension grows until it becomes unbearable. The sisters become a powder keg, waiting for the tiniest spark to set them off.
On the day of the party, I drove my girlfriend the roughly twenty miles to Melanie’s house. A light snowfall covered the countryside and provided some wonderful scenery, making the ride pleasant.
After a brief time driving up and down streets, we located Melanie’s new home. It was very small and very cute, exactly like its owner. Melanie came outside, wearing a red sweater with a snowman on it, blue jeans, and tennis shoes. She intended her party to be a very casual affair. She stood barely five feet tall and probably weighed little more than one hundred pounds. She ran her hand through short, raven-colored hair and waved. My girlfriend’s middle sister, Jennifer, followed Melanie out. Melanie was eleven years younger than my girlfriend, making her the “baby” of the family. Jennifer was only two years younger than my girlfriend, and was therefore far more competitive with her. Jennifer stood 5’5” and weighed about 120 lbs. She had shoulder-length, reddish-brown hair. My girlfriend leapt from my car and ran to the porch. The three Bryant sisters exchanged hugs, squeals, and compliments. The male contingent, made of me, Jennifer’s husband, and Melanie’s boyfriend, exchanged the customary male nods of acknowledgement.
While the men went inside to watch television, the sisters decided to relive their childhood by building a snowman. With so little snow to work with the thing was more a snow mound than a snowman, but they seemed happy with it. Even so, the first tiny spark of trouble ignited. This was Melanie’s home, so she expected to be in charge of everything. Having given in to the authority of her two older sisters all her life, I think it was important to her to play the boss. Unfortunately, Melanie’s attempts at making the snowman weren’t getting her anywhere. When my ever-artistic girlfriend, Samantha, tried to make a few innocent suggestions, Melanie sulked, claiming Sam was trying to take over. Having played second fiddle to Sam growing up, middle sister Jennifer was quick to attack Sam for her innocent comments. Fortunately, Melanie’s desire to have the perfect family get-together overrode all other concerns. She kept the peace.
Although Melanie dressed somewhat appropriately, hyper-competitive Jennifer had intended to show up Sam, and somewhat-competitive Sam refused to let her. They both wore stylish but seasonally-impractical clothing. Both women opted for short skirts and sleeveless tops. Sam wore very short boots, while Jen wore heels. Their wardrobe made their time out in the snow uncomfortable, so as soon as they finished their snowman they were ready to go inside.
The Bryant sisters came in and found their men watching a cage fighting match on Melanie’s new plasma screen.
“Ugh!” Melanie exclaimed. “I hate fighting!”
“Honestly,” Jennifer said, rolling her eyes contemptuously, “all you men ever do is fight!”
Sam shook her head and smirked at me. “You’re such barbarians!”
We just shrugged.
The sisters vanished into the kitchen to prepare the meal. It’s not as if we didn’t offer to help, but every time we tried, Melanie practically threw us out of the kitchen. She had spent weeks preparing for this day. This was her first dinner party. Everything had to go as planned. Everything had to be perfect!
Before long, the trouble between the sisters started up again. You know what they say about having too many chefs in one kitchen. Melanie was trying far too hard to pull everything off. Unfortunately, she lacked the required skills. Jen, easily the best cook of the group, (if Sam heard me say that she’d kill me!) was quick to correct her little sister, causing proud little Melanie to pout and sulk. Sam tried to defend Melanie as much as possible, causing thin-skinned Jennifer to attack her. Being sisters, they knew each other all too well. They knew exactly which buttons to push, and how to get under each other’s skin. By the time we all gathered around Melanie’s dining room table, the sisters were barely speaking.
Trying to break the uncomfortable silence, I looked around at the interior of Melanie’s house. “Uh, it must have taken a lot of work to decorate your house so thoroughly.”
Melanie grinned, brightly. “I’ve been planning this party for weeks! It took me days to put up all the decorations. Do you really like them?”
I nodded. “I hope you don’t have too much trouble taking them down.”
Melanie’s smile faded. “Down?” Taking the decorations back down had never entered her mind. “H-How am I going to get all those huge nails back out? When I do….”
Almost afraid to speak, Sam suggested, “I can come over and help, if you’d like. Maybe…next time you should use tacks or even tape, so you won’t be left with big holes in your walls. Don’t worry. A little plaster and some paint will--”
Melanie sank in her chair, folded her arms, and pouted. “We’re not all artists, you know!”
Sam waved her hands. “I didn’t mean to criticize! Honestly, Honey, the whole house is beautiful, inside and out. You’ve done a terrific job on everything!”
Sam’s assertion was instantly contradicted by the expressions on the faces of everyone around the table, as they took their first bites of the holiday meal. Having refused her sisters’ attempts to help, Melanie had cooked the meal herself. Her complete lack of culinary skills was on full display.
Melanie sulked. “Is their something wrong with my cooking?”
Sam shoved another spoonful into her mouth, fought the tears in her watering eyes, and forced a smile onto her face. “It’s…wonderful!”
In fact, Melanie had loaded it with so many spices it might well have fueled our car on the drive back.
Melanie glared at Jennifer. “Are you going to complain about my cooking, too?”
“I’m sorry, but come on, get real! It’s awful! We all know it!”
Melanie’s mouth flew open and formed a perfect “O”.
Trying to keep the peace, Sam said, “No, its fine! Really!”
A wicked grin covered Jen’s lips. “Oh, well then, if you like it so much, you’ll want extra helpings!” Jen shoveled a pile of the nauseating creation onto Sam’s plate. “Be sure to eat it all.”
Sitting directly across from her younger sister, Sam shot Jen a murderous glare. She turned to Melanie, smiled sheepishly, and said, “I…can’t eat so much. I’m watching my weight.”
Jen laughed to herself. “Well, we can all see that’s obviously not true!”
In truth, Sam only weighed a few pounds more than Jen, and Sam’s extra weight was in all the best places. Still, Sam didn’t like Jen taking a shot at her. The two sisters stared hard at each other.
Sam looked to me and smiled. “Ignore her. She was always jealous. “
Jen’s eyes narrowed. The meal continued.
About five minutes passed in complete silence. Then something struck Sam between her eyes. At first I wasn’t sure what had happened, but then I saw a second pea launched from Jen’s fork into Sam’s face. Sam tried to ignore her, until a third pea hit.
Sam stood up. Jen rose across the table to face her.
“Do you have a problem?” Sam asked, walking around the table to directly challenge her sister, face-to-face.
“No,” Jen replied. “Do you want one?”
Sam tried one last time to make peace. “This is Melanie’s party. Grow up!”
Sam turned to walk back to her seat. The instant her back was turned, a spoonful of gravy went flying from Jen’s spoon into the back of Sam’s long, red hair. Sam whirled. Jen got up defiantly, but Sam shoved Jen hard into her chair and held her there. Eye-to-eye, Sam growled, “This is Melanie’s party. Behave!”
Sam turned to walk away. Jen’s foot shot out and tripped her! Sam fell face-first into a bowl of vanilla icing left on a dessert tray! Unable to hold it in, Jennifer, her husband, and Melanie’s boyfriend burst out laughing. I strained not to. Wiping icing out of her eyes, Sam turned. Seeing Jennifer laughing at her, Sam smiled slightly, reached down, and picked up the cake the icing had been for.
Hands up but grinning defiantly, Jen yelled, “Oh! Oh, you wouldn’t dare!”
She dared. Sam ground the cake into Jen’s face! Jen screeched, enraged!
Melanie stamped her feet comically, whining, “Guys, no! This is my first party! You’re ruining everything!”
Jen grabbed a bowl of steaming soup. Sam held up her hands defensively and shrieked, “Wait! She’s right!”
Jen put down the soup and stood, hands on hips. “You want to take it outside?”
Sam’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, I’d absolutely LOVE to!”
Jen motioned grandly to the door. Sam went outside, followed by Jen. The three men around the table looked at each other, and then we all bolted outside to watch.
Poor Melanie was left, arms folded, pouting in her chair. “All the food will get cold!” She stomped her foot. “You’re ruining everything!”
I hate to admit it, but we didn’t care. We followed Sam and Jen out into a very cold day, to watch a fight about to get red hot!”
To Be Continued in “Holiday Food Fight!!! Sister vs. Sister Pt. 2
