The Jobber(ette) Who Fell to Earth: Part 4 of 4Who in the hell was Milana Vayntrub?
The AT&T Girl?
Hot damn.
According to Tori, this would be the type of session that I would need at this point. An easy one, especially after his previous two sessions and the one coming up. This session however, wasn't even supposed to be competitive. In fact, the actress wanted to be taught some holds and that would be that. It seemed to be a simple concept: Teach her some holds, let her do said holds, and done. Easy payday.
And the why the hell was this taking place at a frigging Radisson?
I fought Lawrence at the frigging Ritz Carlton!
Twice!
Once I found out that she was less of a starlet and more of a television actress known for commercials with her own Reddit page did things started to fall into place. Still, the pictures that Google had provided: Nice hips, posterior, and bust made the accommodation situation a bit better. When I arrived, I already found Miss Vayntrub there. What he also found was not the greatest bedroom set-up, two queen size beds, a small table and not much room for fighting. I looked at the two beds with a rather perplexed look on my face. Vayntrub walked up to me with a reassuring smile. She was already in lesson girl: Pink t-shirt and blue gym shorts, which didn't show off her figure and then of course, the gear came off. It was a tight purple one piece bikini that showed offer a rather killer body: Nice set of breasts, nice wide hips/thighs and most of all, a rotund ass.
Alright, something feels off.
"Something wrong?"
"Not exactly the greatest set-up for something like this. I hate to ask, but was a suite ever considered? A large open area is usually best for something like this. Hate to come off like a dick."
"Yeah...I'm not Jennifer Lawrence, so a high class suite is out of my budget."
"Well, I've never taken part in this type of session, what do you mean by "wrestling lesson?"
"I didn't want a full on session, and a friend of mine did this type of thing last year and really liked it. She contacted your boss and she sent a girl over surprisingly."
Huh?
I nodded and went about making the room something that could resemble a fight area. The nightstand between the two beds was moved to the bathroom and the two beds became the fight area. I changed into a sports bra and shorts and got on the bed with Miss Vayntrub. After that, it was a minute or so of awkward silence. Neither person knew what to do, so I decided to break the silence with a hammer.....lock.
"How about something basic like a hammerlock?"
"Sure!"
I moved behind Vayntrub and begin to manipulate the arm until Vayntrub hit me with a swift elbow to the nose. I automatically let got of Vayntrub's arm and backed off as Vayntrub back away and hit a perfect spinning back kick, her foot burying deep into my midsection. The Jobber went to one knee, but* Vayntrub wasn't content to let The Jobber recover.* Vayntrub grabbed my hair, brought my face up and drove her knee straight into my jaw. I crumpled to the mattress, holding my jaw in pain. The sound of knee on jaw had caused a large pop throughout the room. I was unsurprisingly down and out, Vayntrub jumped up in the air (mattress assisted) and brought her ass down in a senton straight onto my stomach. My legs shot up almost comically as a series of coughs and wheezes came out of my mouth. Vayntrub stood above my prone body, as I was trying to rise but the opening blitzkrieg was making it difficult for that to occur. Miss Vayntrub was not a fan of my slow rise, and in my mind, I'm trying to stall for time.
"Alright, tired of waiting."
Vayntrub dragged me to the edge of the bed, got off and then locked in a standing head scissors as I did all I could to try and mount an escape. With the ankles crossed, adding pressure, I felt the sides of his neck being slowly crushed between the thighs of Vayntrub. I did get a nice view of Vayntrub's rear as she bent over, to only drive a few well-placed shots to the stomach. I seriously considered tapping out, but he then realized that would do diddly squat for his predicament. Finally, Vayntrub let go and once again moved me to the center of the mattress, and then dropped her hip right across my face, pretty much knocking him out on impact. Of course, this wasn't the end of "The Wrestling Lesson", Vayntrub waited for a solid minute before launching yet another assault on my knocked out self. With a sore jaw, neck, and stomach, you might wonder what area of the human body Vayntrub might target next!
That pesky arm?
Nope.
Vayntrub rolled me on my stomach, stood over me and then kicked her legs out, landing ass first on my lower back with all her weight. I snapped out of my slumber immediately as I shot up in the air and screaming in pain. To give you some context: Imagine having your finger bent backwards. Vayntrub then stood up and looked down at whose body was twisted and wrecked, smiled and then dropped a splash on me. Going on instinct, I put both knees up as Vayntrub let out a large "DAMMIT" as she rolled over, holding her stomach. Her legs kicking up in the air, Vayntrub was heaving and huffing as I knew that this was his chance to get some offense in. I was on all fours, but Vayntrub was already recovered as she stood in-front of me and launched a kick to The Jobber's jaw. Once again, I found my on my stomach as Vayntrub rolled me over and sat on my back. Vayntrub put some weight on the back, just to incite some pain. Then, came the real kick to the face as she grabbed my arms into a full nelson, holding me head high in the air.
The dreaded Full Nelson Camel Clutch.
Vayntrub slowly lifted me off the ground, adding to the pain of having his arms ripped backwards along with his having back bent. I screamed out in pain, and my plight. Finally, my head finally fell as my eyes fluttered shut as Vayntrub released the hold as my head bounced off the mattress. Vayntrub walked off the bed, grabbed her phone that was tucked away in her bag, presumably to take pictures of a knocked out girl. Or god forbid, whoever recommended her to do this.
But she didn't notice that I was waking back up.
I wasn't paying possum as much as he was away and enjoying the view of a bent over Vayntrub. After fighting the female drunken lovechild of Vader and Goro in Vandervoort, this was a rather pleasant moment. Plus ten points for it being a one-piece swimsuit with a thong. Better than old lumpy butt Tori. When Vayntrub turned around, I put my head down and continued to play dead as Vayntrub sat at the edge of the bed and fiddled with her phone. Does she get free phone service from AT&T? I continued to play dead even as Vayntrub approached me, but Vayntrub must have known something was up when she quickly pounced on me. I once again got my knees up, and the right knee grazed the chin of Vayntrub. Vayntrub held her chin in pain as I got back up, cracked my back and neck and was ready to go to work.
"Miss Vayntrub, time for the wrestling lesson."
I grabbed Vayntrub by the hair and actually put her in an actually hammerlock and began to crank on the arm. Vayntrub tried to escape, but I brought Vayntrub down to her knees and locked her in a dragon sleeper/body scissors combo and began to squeeze away at Vayntrub's stomach. Vayntrub was moaning and trying to claw at my arm, trying to undo the vice like grip around her throat.I was happy to see Vayntrub scrambling and decided to impart his first lesson upon Vayntrub.
"You see, this move was taught to me by my boss and it's a helluva move, isn't it? Sure, having my arm around your throat hurts, but it's the body scissors that is sucking the air out from you."
I finally let go of the dragon sleeper as Vayntrub started to wheeze, but her airflow was cut off but the body scissors. I increased the pressure as Vayntrub began to panic and I finally relented and let go as Vayntrub rolled over as I grabbed the arm of Vayntrub and locking in a Fujiwara Armbar.
"Another move my boss taught me, an old school shoot-style hold. Of course, the funny thing is, she always arched the arm a bit too high, making it easy to escape."
I didn't arch the arm high, keeping the arm and body low to the mattress. Vayntrub squirmed around, trying to slip out from underneath from my grip. I then let go, but kept Vayntrub pinned to the ground, locked one arm in-between my legs and lifted the arm I had already worked over high in the air with both hands. Not only does it hurt the arms, but it increases the pressure on her shoulder joints. Another amateur wrestling style move that made it into the fake stuff. Vayntrub was being to scream in pain...
"You know, the people at this motel must think we're shooting some pretty fucked up porno."
"Trust me, just wait for the looks on their faces when one of us leaves. Miss Vayntrub, I do like you and I seriously wish that this sessions would've been an easy one. Now, you said this was recommended by a friend, I presume this to be a celebrity?"
Nothing, so The Jobber pulled back on the arm some more, causing more screams.
"Alright, I can keep you in this hold all night long and I really don't want to. I like you better than Fake Wendy, that lady can burn in hell."
"Fine, it was Anna Kendrick. She did one of these against some girl last year and she got creamed."
I had let go of the hold as Vayntrub tended to her hurt arms, as I made the rare mistake of feeling my mercy for my poor opponent. Vayntrub pounced on my distracted self, tackling me to the mat and mounting her shocked opponent, choking me, as I immediately tried to loose the grip. Vayntrub had a crazed look on her face, as I almost started to fade in and out of consciousness but I was able to get Vayntrub off me. Vayntrub raked his back a few times and held him down as she hit a swift leg drop to the back. Vayntrub tried once again for the dreaded Full Nelson Camel Clutch, but I was able to slip out of it and was able to get back up. Vayntrub followed again and tackled me off the mattresses as we crashed to the floor below. Vayntrub landed on her side, hurting her arm, but I took the brunt of the punishment on my back and hitting my head on the wood dresser. Not only that, but I found himself almost trapped between the dresser and the bed. Vayntrub took advantage of my situation, hitting another butt drop on my stomach which caused me to groan, so Vayntrub hit another one followed by putting her foot on my throat. I was once again fading in and out of consciousness, but I managed to get Vayntrub's off by clawing at her calf.
I knew that he needed to get the momentum back, but Vayntrub had over ideas, locking in a side body scissors taking advantage of my current predicament. I tried to do everything in his power to get out, but Vayntrub had the scissors in tight as I felt immense rib pain as I resorted to elbowing the side of Vayntrub's ankle to try and loosen the hold. Finally, I resorted to a hail Mary punch to the stomach. It was a rocket fueled punch that connected deep in the abdomen of Vayntrub, who released the hold right away. I went about getting myself of his current predicament, finally standing up and Vayntrub was back up too. Vayntrub charged at me again and I saw out of the back of my eye he was heading straight for the small table in the corner of the room. I braced for impact and my lower back smashed into table, causing him to scream in pain. Vayntrub tried to smash my head into the table, but I prevented it by hitting Vayntrub in the stomach with an elbow. Vayntrub doubled over, which gave me an opening to lock her in a hellacious bear hug, trying to squeeze the air out of Vayntrub. Vayntrub grimaced in pain, but even The Jobber could see that she was beginning to succumb to the hold. Vayntrub suddenly smacked both of my eras, breaking the hold and screwing up my equilibrium as I staggered around the room. Vayntrub jumped on my back and brought me to the ground, trapping me between the dresser and bed. Vayntrub placed her bare foot on my throat and began to press down on my larynx as I slowly faded to black, trapped and unable to fight back. Vayntrub seemed giddy as went to one knee and posed over my knocked out body.
I finally crashed to Earth as a beaten and bruised fighter....
And Carla Gugino is waiting for me as my welcome party.
Great.