How did I find myself in this situation? Well, you don't drink and bake and you shouldn't drink and post on internet wrestling message boards. I posted a few mean things that got tweeted to them and you know potato po-getting the crap beat out of me.
"So...uh is this an I face one, then the other type of situation?" I asked.
"Oh no, it's a handicap match and we can switch out at any moment." Nikki stated.
"Well, at least you can't pull twin magic this." I said trying to lighten the mood. Did not work, they looked pretty pissed.
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This is gonna suck, as both of them approached me as I found myself back up against the wall. Texas Tornado rules it is then. Well, those rules I had spent so much timing were about ready to go out the window. In one coordinated move, Brie's boot went into my throat starting to choke me with her holding onto a table for support.
Punch to the stomach and all I can muster is an *Oof* followed by another *Oof* from Nikki. Nikki backed off and seemingly watched a Brie's boot choked the life out of me. I can only presume they did this to many divas and probably Zack Ryder at some point.
"Brie, I think that's enough." Nikki said.
In between gasped breaths "Yeah, that's enough." I tried stating
"Nah, just a few more seconds." Brie said
"Yeah, totally right on that end." Nikki said
Finally, she let go and I went on all fours wondering if my throat or stomach hurt more. Well, my stomach would be hurting more as Nikki (On the right) kicked me in the stomach and Brie (On the left) followed course. I was now flat on my back as Nikki went to stomp on my stomach but I managed to grab a hold of her foot. I was actually to get back onto my feet while holding on and push her into Brie. Brie, probably not expecting that accidentally moved out of the way and Nikki hit the wall. I pushed Brie out of the way and more or less splashed Nikki (All 200 pounds soaking wet) against the wall. I heard a large letting out of air.
I looked over to Brie who was already on the attack getting me into a headlock. After a struggle, I managed to get her up in the air and drop her right down onto my knees into a backbreaker and I pushed on her chin. She was yelping so time for me to open my stupid mouth!
"I know you guys do that yoga stuff, so consider it yoga with just more pain!" I said.
You know what else comes with yoga? Unusual flexibility! Her knee made contact with my jaw causing me to loosen my grip. I felt Nikki grab my arms and place her boot on her back and begin pulling back in a modified surfboard. My arms felt like they were being pulled out of their sockets and thanks to She Who Shall Not Be Named my back was even worse. I noticed Brie standing in-front of me in a striking stance.
"Oh no." Was all I could muster up since I realized what was about ready to happen.
"YES!" She responded, even doing the taunt.
With no way to even block it with my arms, I know that those kicks would go straight at my chest. Kick one hurt like hell like a medicine ball hitting my chest. Kick two was even worse and kick three felt like my chest had caved in. Brie got on the floor as Nikki let go and I fell directly into the legs of Brie who locked into a side body-scissors. I was laying face down and slowly having the life squeezed out of me as Nikki watched. I was noticing a formula: Brie does most of the moves and Nikki jumped in when needed.
Nikki decided to jump in, grabbing my legs and turning into a Boston Crab/Body-scissors combination which was hurting like hell. In between trying to retain consciousness, I now dealing with more back pain and leg pain. Brie let go as Nikki sat on my back and proceed to loop my her legs under my arms for the dreaded Lotus Lock as I honestly felt like I my arms were going to pop off. She actually laid back and was cranking away at may arms when I realized I was trapped.
Nikki let go and got at eye-level with me and did the "You Can't See Me" taunt as she locked in the STF/STFU/Attitude Adjustment and it was in tight. I reached at her hands hoping to pry them apart but it was no good. I tried rolling to the side or doing anything as the panic began to set in. My neck was being cranked back along with my back and I had the general feeling of doom. I had to do something to get out.
"I give." I said hoping to end it.
"What was that?" She asked.
"I give up." I said.
"Yeah, we couldn't hear you, could you say a bit louder?" Nikki said, taunting me. Brie also said she couldn't hear me either.
"I GIVE UP." I finally said.
Nikki finally let go and Brie walked toward Nikki and tagged in. I guess she gets her licks in too.
Brie waited for me to rise to my feet, well onto all fours more or less and decided to pounce on me. She grabbed my arm and placed me in a kneeling armbar which felt like hell on my arms. She let go of the arm obviously pleased that I didn't give. Brie, who turned had a helluva mean streak as she turned me over and resumed choking me with her boot alternating between gut stomps.
I had more or less decided that the end was near as I laid flat on my back. She grabbed me by the hair and placed her calf under my neck. Down came her thigh, or a thigh scissors as she had her face against my thigh. Nikki joined in locking a body scissors in as I embraced my old friend the darkness.
Except that it wasn't time as they placed me in a sitting position as Brie grabbed my right arm and Nikki my left arm. Both of them placed a boot on my carotid artery and began to push with their boots. It was a sudden jolt of life followed by immense pain as the life drained out of me. I presume this wouldn't be used on as television as I felt the light slowly dim out, the mouse left the wheel in my brain. I was finally unconsciousness as the Bella's took some victory pose pictures, probably to show off.'
Short and brutal.
