Day 4
Welcome to the anticipated conclusion of the Queen of the Beach 1st Round!
Recapping an eventful Day 3
Brooklyn Decker sent Eva Green Packing
Alice Goodwin pounded Lucy Pinder to pudding
Kay Perry was no match for Stephanie McMahon
And Alexandra Daddario sent young Ariel Winter to School
Big Thanks to Ginny38
Lindsay Lohan vs Kat Dennings
The match after Daddario-Winter promises to be far different. Unlike Winter's naivete, both of these women are ready, willing, and more than able to fight without regard to 'wardrobe malfunction' or reluctance to use any kind of punch, hold, or kick that may offend the Marquise of Queensbury (author of ìA Girl's Guide to Fight Etiquetteî or some such thing).
Dennings has two things Lohan doesn't: 25 lbs., of weight edge and an extra 'D' in her bra! The second may not matter, but the first is huge, especially on sand where Lohan's maneuverability advantage is lessened. LiLo does NOT want to get trapped in Kat's cleavage with no way to run away!
Rd 1 opens as expected with Dennings stolidly stalking out to confront Lohan while the freckled redhead hops and skips around trying to lure Kat into making a mistake she can take advantage of. (Hoping your opponent makes a mistake is not really a strategy...is it?) Whatever, Lohan manages to land a couple of punches to Kat's hulking boobs as she's ducking, dekeing, and generally staying out of Dennings' way but all good things must come to an end and eventually Kat traps LiLo in Kat's corner where she bodies up to Lohan and uses her bulk to keep Lindsay pinned on the ropes as Kat hammers away to Lohan's slim body with both fists! Lohan fighting back, but trapped in the corner she's unable to get much into her blows.
Lohan's no wrestler, certainly not with a woman 25 lbs heavier, so after Kat uses her fists to soften Lohan up, she grapples her out to center ring where she body slams Lindsay on her back. Mounting the slender redhead, Dennings goes for her famously effective Good Night Ladies a breast smother finisher!
The crowd cheers as they watch Lohan wriggling and squirming, but there's no way to throw “fat Kat” off her while she's in this predicament! But Lindsay expected this may happen and planned accordingly. Reaching up, Lohan raked her filed and freshly manicured nails across the bulging expanse of Kat's already sweaty bosom. Dennings let out a scream and began trying to capture LiLo's flashing fingers, but it wasn't easy and Lohan got in several good digs with each hand before Dennings finally managed to capture and control them. Kat pressed Lindsay's hands down in the sand stretched out to the sides, but in that position, Dennings couldn't use her own hands to control Lohan's head, so she turned it to the side where she could breath. After several attempts to cover Lohan's nose and mouth with her plaint soft flesh, Kat realized the only way to snuff out Lohan would be to release her hands to grab her by the hair. But she was unwilling to do that and suffer further clawing of her breasts.
Reluctantly, Dennings let go of Lindsay's left wrist and tried to punch her in the face, but LiLo was able to block it and then again raked her sharp nails across Kat's cleavage. Dennings gave up her breast smother to save her breasts and got up, looking for another takedown that she could secure in a more advantageous position.
Lohan quickly sprang to her feet and escaped, momentarily; giving her time to catch her breath and regroup. In the last minute, Kat tried unsuccessfully to corner Lohan who potshotted Kat's heaving breasts; the heavier woman panting in the afternoon heat as she chased the lithe redhead around the sandy ring until the bell rang ending the 1st round. Kat went to her corner for water and a seat to catch her breath. Lohan returned to hers but stayed upright, leaning on the wood post driven in the sand serving as a turnbuckle.
Rd 2 started the same as Rd 1 with Dennings attempting to corner Lohan who kept eluding her. Fans at ringside noticed that Lindsay was no longer moving as fluidly; her legs growing weary as she struggled with the soft sandy ring. Both had slowed, and Dennings was laboring visibly, yet stubbornly refused to stop chasing Lohan. Halfway thru the 5 minute round, Kat caught Lindsay by the back of her bikini bottom and pulled her into a Reverse Bearhug, lifted her off her feet and German Suplexed her into the soft sand hard enough to ring Lohan's bell briefly...long enough for Kat to get on top of Lohan; trapping Lindsay's left arm by her side. Lohan's right hand was still free, but it was enough for Kat!
Using a handful of LiLo's hair, Kat stuffed Lohan's ruddy face in her cleavage and bore down, the soft, yielding flesh molding itself to Lindsay's face as Lohan stared up wide-eyed into Kat's leering face. “Gotcha now, bitch!” Dennings cackled as she rubbed Lindsay's face deep in the valley of her bosom. “YEEEOOOOOWCH!” Kat suddenly screamed, rearing up and back, her tiny top stretching out as Lohan's teeth held on with bulldog-like tenacity.
Fans leaned forward in their seats, mouths agape as they saw a trickle of blood running from the red tooth marks on Denning's now exposed left breast. In her haste to retrieve her wounded pride-and-joy's from LiLo's gnawing teeth, Kat had forgotten to hold onto Lindsay's right hand. Lohan whipped her fist up and (BAM) punched Kat on the side of her jaw. Dennings saw stars, but she gamely tried to recapture Lohan's fist before... (BAM) ...Lindsay hit her again! (BAM) (BAM) Two more punches rocked Kat before she managed to get her left forearm onto Lohan's bicep and wrestle it back down onto the sand again.
“G'won Kitty.... put 'em... there again…,"Lohan panted. “I'll chew 'em... up an'... spit 'em .... 'n your fat face!”
But then the bell rang ending the second round. Once more, Kat Dennings had been THIS CLOSE to winning, and once more, Lohan had wriggled out of her trap.
Rd 3 saw a change in the match. Instead of waiting for Dennings to go on offense, Lohan attacked first. She had been seeing Kat slowing as the fight wore on and didn't want to give her a chance to take advantage of her catching her breath during the break. As soon as she rose from her stool, Lindsay rushed at Kat and hit her in the chest with a Drop Kick. Kat went sprawling on her butt, and before she could roll over and get to her knees, Lohan was behind her with both arms wrapped around her neck. The Sleeper Hold was locked in tight and using her knees to hammer Kat's back. Lohan had her struggling for breath as she cut off the blood to her brain! When Kat's hands opened and slipped from Lindsay's arms, Lindsay dropped Kat on her back, but instead of pinning her for an easy win, Lindsay wanted to send a message to the other girls remaining in the tournament.
She viscously tore into Kat's top and attacked her breasts with kicks, stomps and elbow drops, then she straddled her belly and went to work with her hands, crushing the soft sacks, twisting and pulling, stretching and mutilating the supple flesh until Kat Dennings couldn't take any more and screamed out her surrender!
Winner: Lindsay Lohan, Rd 3, Submission, Breast Mauling
* * *
Scarlett Johansson vs. Jennifer Love Hewitt
Johansson possessed a star power and track record that few of the Queen of the Beach entrants could match , and while Scarletts rack was certainly not the biggest in the field, they may have been the most iconic.
Had the tournament been held in 2007 Jennifer Love Hewitt might have been the hands down favorite. While no doubt past her prime JLH was still a feared and respected competitor. There was nothing Hewitt had not done or had done to her in her career and she had absolutely no fear of the great Scarlett Johansson.
Rd 1 No surprise here! Jennifer Love Hewitt having nothing to lose, charges right at Johansson, stunning the movie star with a bosom-busting collision that not only rocked ScarJo back on her heels, but shook loose her hairdo. Hair in disarray, Scarlett planted her feet just in time to absorb the second impact of JLH's heavy artillery. The third time Jennifer Love tried the same thing, however, ScarJo was ready for her.
Scarlett side-stepped, caught JLH in a Side Headlock and hip-tossed her over and back down on her back in the sand. Scarlett added to the breathtaking impact by landing her hip square on Jen's tummy, driving all the air out of her body. A short elbow smash further disoriented JLH who was unable to offer any resistance when Scarlett planted her bosom squarely over Jennifer's face, wrapped her arms around her head to prevent any chance of turning away, and then rode her face into the sunset. When Hewitt went limp, Scarlett stood up, ripped down Hewitt's top and posed with her foot planted firmly on the brunette's flattened bosom. The rapidity of ScarJo's victory sent shockwaves thru the tournament as the other women got the message that Scarlett Johansson was taking this thing seriously!
Winner: Scarlett Johansson, Rd 1, KO, Breast Smother
* * *
Jennifer Lawrence vs. Kelly Brook
Fans were still fanning themselves trying to catch their breath after seeing Lohan destroy Kat Dennings' proud rack and no sooner had they calmed down than Kelly Brook was introduced in a minuscule little thong bikini that didn't even look like it had ever considered even attempting the (obviously) impossible job of holding her 30H bosom. As Kelly's cleavage wobbled, jiggled, and swayed Jennifer Lawrence just stood off to one side and glared at her. The young blond was an accomplished, proud, and insecure actress. Seeing the frontage facing her across the sandy expanse left her with a sinking feeling as she considered the size of the problem(s) she would have to surmount. Then she took a breath and calmed herself, thinking of the advice another girl had given her. Something along the lines of bigger they are and harder they fall she silently vowed to give Ms. Kelly Brook's beauties a hard fall!
Rd 1 Lawrence used her agility and fitness to run circles around buxom Brit babe Brook. Jen used Kelly's H-cups like they were speedbags in her gym workout, punching the left once with each fist, then moving to the right and giving that one a couple of quick smacks, then whirling away before Kelly Brook could set herself to punch back. In and out, left and right, circle and punch quickly, then retreat and repeat. By the end of the first round, the ten year older Brook was sucking air while young, fit Lawrence was just catching her second wind.
Rd 2 and J-Law was right back in Brook's grill, whiplashing her whoppers like she was chastising a couple of bad puppies for peeing on the carpet. Jen kept popping puppy and grinning as Kelly's defense was being shredded and her pursuit grew slower and slower until she ended the round just standing in the middle of the ring trying to turn as Lawrence danced around her tormenting her titties.
Rd 3 opened with Kelly Brook unleashing a wild attack, throwing everything but the kitchen sink into an all-out, last ditch offensive that produced... a sweaty cleavage and little else. After she'd punched herself out, she slumped with her arms hanging limp at her sides, chest heaving, with no hope and no plan as to what to do next. J-Law took pity on the old woman and instead of making Kelly look any more foolish and helpless than she already had, Jennifer just bounced around her slapping Kelly's big breasts and making them dance. At the final bell, Brook's bosom was bright red, her face flushed, her eyes moist with tears and her expression one of abject defeat.
The fans weren't happy however. They'd come to see action and Lawrence - in their opinion - hadn't delivered the show they thought they'd paid for. Boos rained down on Lawrence as the foregone conclusion of her victory was announced and her face showed her disappointment at their reaction. Her next opponent would suffer for that as she vowed to redeem her reputation in their eyes!
Winner: Jennifer Lawrence, 3-0, Decision
Emily Ratajkowski vs Charlotte Mckinney
Round one of the tournament began with one of the presumptive favorites Kate Upton and Would end with the other Charlotte Mckinney. Mckinney and Upton were longtime friendly rivals as their stunning looks and other otherworldly physiques drew many comparisons. Mckinney mix of athleticism, grace, size and strength made her long time considered the “next” Kate Upton but had since stepped out into her own spotlight. The blonde bombshells were considered the dream match by the fight viewing public, however both would need to navigate the entire Queen of the Beach bracket to make the showdown a reality.
Upton took care of business earlier on dispatching an overmatched Allison Brie. Charlottes journey would begin with what most considered a stiffer challenge in Emily Ratajkowski. The relative newcomer brunette didn't give an inch to Mckinney in height and her lithe athletic body was armed with impressive natural C Cup tits more than game for most in the tournament. But most of all Emily didn't buy the hype , she could care less about Upton vs Mckinney , she was out to make a name for herself.
Both contestants entered the sandy arena to loud ovations. The crowd oohed and ached Emilys barely their grey bikini and erupted when Mckinney revealed a white and blue striped bikini seemingly bursting at its seems. The women stood tit to tit and Emily tried her best not to show her awe at Mckinneys bust as the bell rang.
Rd1 Emily was active and persistent early in the round. The brunettes training focused on movement and agility as there would be no way she could over the power the blonde. Charlotte kept a near expert defense and let little of Emilys offense through. Mckinney was considered an elite fighter in that she had the power to go rack to rack with the biggest busts around and had the athleticism to keep up with even the quickest women in the tournament.
Suddenly Charlotte launched her offensive and caught Emily, picking her high up in the air and body slamming her deep into the sand. Emilys breath escaped her body as she struggled to breathe while hearing the ringing of the bell. Charlotte had taken her first Round of the tournament.
RD2 Would see little more success for the outmatched actress. Charlotte soaked in cheers as she easily worked Ratajkowski from one end of the ring to the other. Mckinney was showing her self to be as skilled as anyone seen so far as she expertly suplexed her opponent square into the sand.
Emily could only see the fuzziness of the sun as she played tits up sprawled across the sand. The crowd when ballistic as the big blonde surprisingly climbed the ropes. Charlotte reached the top of the turnbuckle and launched her self high into the air. Cameras flashed as the bombshell gracefully soared through the bright beach air. Charlotte landed Jugg on Jugg crushing what remaining fight Emily had left in the middle of the ring. Mckinney expertly reversed her position and dropped her devastating rack on the brunettes finished face. Within seconds the 1st round of the Queen of the Beach tournament had come to an explosive end.
Winner Charlotte Mckinney RD KO Smother
After Kate Upton sat front row and applauded Charlottes performance, “Looks like Charlotte just raised the bar for all of us” Kate told the media afterwards. “Im going to have to really put a show on in Round 2 now”
Round one is in the books…
The Second round bracket is official!
Who do you have advancing to the “Elite 8”?
Stay tuned for all the bikini busting action coming soon
