Obukan Judo, Portland, OR
I was twelve years old, and going through the same old drill. My partner takes my lapels up high, I step into her and capture her wrist and lapel, twist my back against her chest while pulling her arm over my shoulder and lean forward, hauling her weight smoothly over me in an ippon seio nage. I help her up, we bow, then I grab her lapels and she does the same. I'd been taking classes at Obukan, a school founded for the Portland Japanese community back in 1938, since I was eight. I knew the drills. They were part of my life, like watching Monday Night Raw and listening to The Descendents' Everything Sucks.
Sensei Koyama came by, and saw the look on my face as I helped my friend Rat (her real name was Vicky. She was 12 years old like me and her parents let her wear a rat-tail with buzzed sides. I thought she was so fucking cool) to her feet after another pretty damn crisp shoulder throw. She patted my back as we squared off. "I know it seems like the same thing over and over, yojo, but one day someone might come out of the darkness and take you by the throat, and you will be glad you have done this so many times." She smiled softly, and clapped her hands once, to let us continue, and I set my feet for Rat to throw me onto the tatami again.
But y'know, Sensei Koyama, you never had me and the rest of the young judoka practice our ippon right after being fucking drugged and taking a god-damn Tombstone piledriver and having my fucking ex-lover's toxic cxnt on my face. I mean, I'm not sure how we WOULD have practiced that. There would have to be a king hell of a parental permission note involved at the very least. But it really would have fucking helped me right now.
So instead of throwing you over my shoulder, or grabbing your thumbs and popping them free, I get choked down to one knee. My windpipe closed off and blood pounding in my ears, that horrific tension building in my crushed pulse. My sweaty blood-streaked hair hangs in my face as I feel my lungs burning. The worst thing about being fucking strangled is that you're intensely AWARE of everything that's happening, even with your carotids shut off and your windpipe closed. And I'm intensely aware of the heat of your breath as you scream in my face, wanting to know what arrangement I made with Thomas. It's kinda funny, really. If you were looking anywhere other than right into my big ol' hazel eyes (currently feelin' a little on the rheumy side), you'd see.
My hands get weak as I'm trying to unlock your grip -
- and then, thank fucking Eris, you let go. Because Rowan Chance has gotta talk some shit..
"She'll tell me! Watch! Watch and learn, you sonofabitch!"
You drag me up, hobbling on my busted knee, what's left of my attire painted onto me with sweat and blood and saliva and my own unwilling arousal. I snarl at you as much as I can, my cheeks livid and eyes coal-red, my throat bruised and breath a panting rasp.
There's so much hate in your eyes that it's like looking in a fucking mirror.
"Tick. Tock." You're trying to sound like me, but you don't sound as fucking cool as I do (AND I DON'T FUCKING *SQUEAK*). You've always been fucking rubbish at impressions. You're the only wrestler I know who can't do a good Dusty Rhodes. It always ends up sounding like Foghorn Leghorn.
On the other god-damn, you DO manage a fairly fuckin' convincing impression of my Dollbreaker.
(Remember kids - the Dollbreaker. It's one word. Just like Cher or Sting.)
You wrap my waist and HAUL me up, which must be fucking excruciating on your brutalized back but is actually kinda nice for me for just a moment as my weight comes off my leg. And then you bring my legs up and over, and I end up hung on your shoulder.
I started using the Dollbreaker regularly back in 2015 or so, shortly before FTW started. It was Gemma's suggestion.
Somewhere in the north, I can't really remember where because we were drunk. Was it Lancaster? Or Blackpool. Might've been Blackpool, UK
"You have a lot of great strikes and big hits, pickle, but you need something that's going to slow these little bitches down. Something to make the little cxnts AFRAID of you." Gemma was a fucking master at the art of stopping someone from ever wanting to move again. I went with a backbreaker because a lot of her offense was back-centered, like the Backstabber and Hellbound, and I wanted to play into that. I decided on the Canadian-style, the overhead gutwrench backbreaker rack, because I got fucking hung out to dry in one by Vanessa Kraven back in 2010 during the NEO WWWC World Cup, and it felt like I was god-damn broken in half. I practiced the damn thing for weeks straight, hoisting sacks up onto my shoulder until I could get 220 pounds up in one move, then moving on to joint dummies to get the positioning right, then finally the fun part - finding jobbers to let me test it on them. I'd say the worst part about being an infamous wrestler for such a long time is all the injuries I've racked up and all the enemies I have now. The best part is a toss-up between having a bunch of cool shirts and it being so easy to find pretty girls who will let me brutalize them in wrestling holds for free.
It's a brutal fucking hold. Your whole body weight and the very laws of gravity work to snap you in half, the centerline of your spine planted right on the attacker's shoulderblade. Your legs hang down, your arms are at the wrong angle to do most anything, and the attacker can wrap their arms around your ribs - like you are right now, and just CRUNCH you.
Of course it's a cool hold, god damn it. It's mine.
"NYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
My head hangs down by your tits, my loose rat's nest of sweaty purple hair brushing your thighs, my tits testing the elastic on the SPLX sports bra as my back is arched and strained. My boots hang down your back, right leg almost dead and left leg kicking.
It really fucking hurts. REALLY fucking hurts. Good to have that confirmed. I mean, I was pretty sure it did after all those girls screamed OH GOD IT HURTS and tapped out when I did this to them, but y'know, science.
Tony's Saloon, West Ritner St, Philly
Tony's was where all of ECW got drunk over the years. Even after there was no more ECW, there was still Tony's, technically Anthony's Saloon and Crab House. Tony's was where Big Dick Dudley threw Blue Meanie through the wall. Tony's was where Sandman finished a keg and then headbutted a brick wall. I was drinking there with Scotty, way back in the day.
"Ya know how many times people have tried to god-damn DDT me?"
I giggled into my beer. I always got giggly around Scotty. Couldn't help it, even after I'd known him for years and he'd gotten fat. Even after the TNA run. He was still Raven to me.
"If you do somethin' good, kid -" I was still 'kid', a decade into being a wrestler - "- then learn how to stop someone from doin' it to you, because they're gonna try. It's the bitterness and envy inveterate to the human spirit." (I loved it when he got all Raveny)
I might've been too out of it to stop you from choking the fucking life out of me two-handed like fucking Jason Voorhees, you vindictive little bitch, but NO ONE FUCKING GETS MY SHIT IN BUT ME.
My hands come up, lashing out at you. One thumb twisting at your eye. My fingers digging into that brutal bloody rip in your forehead. PAIN. Immediate vicious pain to the face, getting that old mammalian hindbrain flaring to get you to flinch.
And I TWIST my hips, snarling past the flare of pain in my wrecked knee, turning in towards you to shift my weight, getting you to stagger. I know your back can't take that. You could lift me, but no fucking way you're gonna hold me with your spine all cracked like downtown asphalt.
I can feel you stumbling, feel your back giving in, hear you try to bite back the cry of pain with my fingers digging like a hag's claws at your face. Your grip slips and I slide down, rocking my hips, slithering over your shoulder and down your back, my breasts dragging intimately against you for a moment so I feel the skirl of your skin like soft lightning against my nipple piercings. But the intimacy doesn't last. I make sure to land heavily on my left leg, my right boot just barely pushed to the mat.
I'm behind you. For just a second. You're staggered, blinded. Off-balance.
Time to get my shit in.
Zandig Academy, Blackwood, New Jersey
"Oh, FUCK, Masada! That move is cool as fuckin' tits! Can I use that?"
"Are you gonna hit me with that hammer if I say no?"
"I absolutely am."
"Then feel free."
(Look, not all my stories are these big huge philosophical things.)
Standing close behind you, I dip my head under your right arm and wrap my left arm around your shoulders, getting a collar grip on your corset. My taped right hand drops low, smearing blood on your calf as I hook a grip behind your right knee and drag your leg up, breaking your balance. I take a deep breath - for just that one calming moment of Zen -
- and I bend low and SNAP up off both legs with a roar of exquisite pain, hoisting you up in the air. I use my grip around your shoulders and your hooked leg to tilt you back, my back arching with your lower back pressed to my left shoulder, tilting you over the axis of inevitability until your boots are pointed at the lights and your head is pointed at the mat ... and then I KICK my legs out and drop back, driving your full bodyweight down onto your head and neck with the leg hook backdrop driver that I call -
LVK: THE MINDFUCK! PUNKY ESCAPES THE DOLLBREAKER AND SNAPS OFF THE MINDFUCK!
RP: FUCK yes! GOD DAMN my head hurts.