Rimes vs Simpson

[Jackflash Jump]

Jessica Simpson and LeAnn Rimes meet up in a pro match, but with a special stipulation:  there is no pinfall...the winner is only declared when one woman hogties her opponent's wrists and ankles, country style!

As Rimes has never been defeated in this sort of match, Simpson definitely has her work cut out for her!

LeAnn Rimes


Jessica Simpson

[Firefly]

Jessica is a softy both mentally and physically, LeAnn barely breaks a sweat taking her down.

[herboyfriend]

Supported Jessica, think she'd make it and win.

[Jackflash Jump]

I plan to close this poll later today.  I say this because Jessica has enjoyed a tremendous surge in the voting, and she is currently just one vote behind.  If there are any of her supporters out there who haven't cast their ballot yet...or, for that matter, any LeAnn fans who want to ensure that she wins instead...don't wait any longer!   

[Firefly]

The polling on this site has zero integrity. Im starting to think its run by the feds! 

[Jackflash Jump]

After a grueling battle that pushed both blondes to their outer limits of exhaustion, there was still no clarity as to which one might win.  Evenly matched throughout the fight, neither LeAnn nor Jessica could long hold the upper hand over the other.

But as they rolled in a tangle of lithe legs and arms on the canvas, suddenly one woman managed to snare her opponent in a head scissors, followed moments later by the other fighter doing the same.  And suddenly the final struggle of both country gals began.  Their powerful thighs tightened ever-harder as they clamped down hard around the heads of the two, muscles tensing as the arena lights glistened off of their sweat-soaked flesh.  The faces of Simpson and Rimes turned deep red as they were each squeezed mercilessly by the other, their pants for breath punctuated by gasps, moans and squeals of pain.

One minute stretched into two...and then three.  Their bodies trembled from the strain, as each called upon their lasts dregs of endurance to outlast the other.

Finally, inevitably, one beauty could take the punishment no longer.  With a mewl of agony and resignation, LeAnn's body went limp and her headscissors went slack.  As Jessica opened her own legs, Rimes rolled onto her back, eyes shut as she slumbered.

But Simpson knew the match wasn't over yet.  With her last remaining strength, Jessica got to her hands and knees and slowly crawled to one of the ring's corners.  There, she knew, hung the lasso she would need to hogtie her rival and officially win the battle.  She pushed herself to move more swiftly, knowing that if Rimes should stir and recover, the match would begin again.

Crawling back with the rope, the blonde rolled her unconscious adversary over onto her belly, then folded LeAnn's legs back at the knees, allowing her to wrap one end of the rope around her ankles; the other end was then tied around the wrists of Rimes, which were pulled behind her back.  It was at this point that LeAnn awakened, but it was too late to do her any good.  Realizing her predicament, Rimes...who had never before lost a Hog Tie Match...sobbed "Nooooooooooooo...."

Still too weak to stand up, Jessica pressed her left hand down on the back of her fallen foe's head, and let the referee raise her right arm as the bell tolled her triumph.  Only then did Simpson give in to her weary body's demands, toppling to her side and slipping into merciful unconsciousness herself, a small smile of pride upon her lips.

[bigfan877]

Nice Story, good match up too.

[fleuger99]

No way Simpson would win, she's too slow and dumb!

[DogWithABone]

Morbidly Obese Simpson has no shot in something like this.  The voting is a joke.

[Jebediah Morningside]

To me this matchup would hinge on when it took place.  In the era when those photos were taken, I think Jessica could take LeAnn relatively easily.  (Though I agree she's not exactly the sharpest crayon in the box under the best of circumstances...)  If this was post-baby Jessica, it's a whole different scenario.  By that point it seems to me that Jessica lost both her conditioning and her killer instinct, and accordingly LeAnn would take her out.  Based on the photos I assume the former, but the scenario listed above didn't specify.

-JM

[Jebediah Morningside]