Baby Bump Battle episode 5 - A New Bump (well actually two new bumps)

[Youngbritishbitch]

At exactly 8:42 p.m., the structure came under attack.

From pigeons.

A full squadron.

They descended in a loose, chaotic formation that suggested they had trained for this moment, but only spiritually.

Emily looked up from the sofa.
"...Is that...?"

Hannah, who had come over because she always came over when things got weird, squinted out the window.
"...A coordinated assault. Yes."

The pigeons banked left, then right, then left again, because pigeons are incapable of committing to a direction.

But they had a target.

A very small, very vulnerable opening on the structure's surface.

The smallest pigeon--call sign Feather One--heard something.

A voice.

A mystical, echoing whisper carried on the wind:

"SquuuaaawwwK.
Squawk squawk squaaaaaawwwwwwk."

Feather One's eyes widened.

He understood.

He aligned himself with... something.

And he fired.

A perfect, spiralling, horrifyingly accurate poop straight into the tiny, unshielded ventilation shaft.

There was a moment of silence.

Then--

plink.

The first LEGO brick hit the ground.

Then another.

Then the entire structure began to fall apart.

Slowly.

Very slowly.

Painfully slowly.

So slowly that everyone simply stepped off it and walked away.

Barth Vadder (with a th, not a f, and plural ones d's) immediately ushered Hannah and Tori toward his lab.

Emily and Sam just... went home.

Celeste drifted toward a marshy forest like she'd been waiting her whole life for a dramatic swamp entrance.

Sam was brushing her hair when she noticed it.

A faint green glow.

Inside her belly.

Matchstick‑length.

Pulsing.

"...Mum?" she called.

Emily arrived, saw the glow, and made the exact noise a person makes when they realise their evening has taken a turn.

Then an apparition shimmered into existence.

Celeste.

Of course.

"The prophecies..." Celeste breathed. "They are coming true. Samantha's unborn child has forged a LuxÉpée."

Hannah, who had arrived purely through the gravitational pull of nonsense, folded her arms.

"There are no prophecies," she said. "Just the rubbish you and Barth wrote before you fell out over whether they were the Chosen Two or the Chosen Ones."

Celeste did not blink.

She never blinked.

"It begins," she whispered.

Meanwhile, in Barth's lab, Tori sat strapped into the Dual Fetal Interaction Observation Array Mk2.

The machine hummed.

Then spoke.

"PREGNANCY CONFIRMED.
CONSTRUCTION ACTIVITY DETECTED."

Hannah blinked.
"...Construction?"

Barth nodded gravely.
"She is building something."

The machine beeped again.

"PLAYER TWO REQUIRED.
INSERT COIN."

Barth, without hesitation, produced a coin from a pocket that absolutely should not have been deep enough to hold one.

He inserted it.

The world flashed white.

Suddenly, all six of them--Emily, Hannah, Sam, Tori, Barth, and Celeste--stood on a cloud.

A literal cloud.

Below them, the Dual Fetal Interaction Observation Array Mk2 floated serenely.

Its screen lit up.

A baby icon appeared with "Tori's daughter" written above it.

Beside it, an arrow appeared with "father of" written above that.

The arrow pointed to another baby icon labelled "Sam's daughter."

Silence.

Absolute silence.

Emily rubbed her temples.
"That's not how anything works."

Hannah nodded.
"Not even slightly."

Celeste inhaled reverently.
"The prophecy--"

"There IS NO PROPHECY," Hannah snapped.

Inside Tori's belly, a red LuxÉpée ignited.

Inside Sam's, the green one flared brighter.

Both girls gasped as an invisible force pulled them together.

Closer.

Closer.

Until--

boop.

Belly met belly.

The LuxÉpées clashed.

A tiny, muffled vmmm‑vmmm sound vibrated through the cloud.

Sam staggered.
"Tori--stop--"

"I'm not doing anything!"

The babies pushed harder.

The cloud trembled.

Celeste whispered, "Balance..."

Barth whispered, "Limitation..."

Emily whispered, "Oh for goodness' sake."

And then--

Hannah stepped forward.

Hands on hips.

Voice of a mother who had reached her limit.

"ENOUGH OF THIS. It's a school night. Sam, brush your teeth and get ready for bed."

The LuxÉpées flickered.

Dimmed.

Went out.

Both bumps relaxed instantly.

The babies fell asleep.

Just like that.

The cloud dissolved.

Everyone found themselves back where they'd started.

Sam yawned.

Tori blinked.

Celeste stared into the middle distance like she was waiting for a soundtrack.

Barth scribbled notes furiously.

Emily and Hannah exchanged a look that said:

We are too old for this.

Somewhere deep inside two very small, very dramatic unborn fighters...

A new chapter stirred.

Because this wasn't over.

Not even close.

[Youngbritishbitch]