News:

COMMERCIAL SITES: Please note - if WANT A BANNER LINK? displayed on this site, please contact FEMMEFIGHT

Sydnee Goodman vs Jess McDonell: battle of the video game hosts

  • 3 Replies
  • 1624 Views
*

Offline Edududu

  • Junior Member
  • **
  • 8
Sydnee Goodman vs Jess McDonell: battle of the video game hosts
« on: January 16, 2022, 07:54:13 PM »
Hello everyone!

So I made a poll last week talking about how I really enjoyed the stories in this forum, and  about a matchup that I wanted to turn into a story, and I'd like to share it today. It's my first story, and I'm not sure if I'm going to be doing this again, but any sort of feedback is appreciated overall! Also keep in mind that english isn't my native language, so there might be a couple mistakes on the text.

Without further ado, the story is about a private fight between two former video game website hosts. They are:

IGN host Sydnee Goodman:
https://imgur.com/a/x7rWA4r

Gamespot host Jess McDonell:
https://imgur.com/a/cyx0Csb

...

Sydnee Goodman vs Jess McDonell: battle of the video game hosts

Sydnee Goodman wiped the sweat off her forehead with a breath of relief. Participating in gaming conventions in the middle of the hot Los Angeles summer was not an easy task, but she was getting better and better at the job at every event. Being one of IGN’s top female hosts meant that aside from the occasional interview, her main role was to stay at their booth during events, winning horny gamers over with her infectious charm, inviting complexion, and more importantly, her sexy body.

For that purpose, she chose an outfit that highlighted her slender frame, being just revealing enough while still staying within the con’s family-friendly guidelines. She was wearing a white top with an opening that left little to the imagination regarding her modestly sized but still firm breasts, a black skirt that stopped just above her knees and her silky breast-length dark brown hair was tied back in a ponytail for convenience. And even besides her body, her face was framed by beautiful green eyes and a warm smile that gave her a killer girl next door look.

Checking out the venue, Syd could already sense that the movement at the space was diminishing. The event was almost ending, with less than an hour left until the venue closed. She took the opportunity to ask her boss for a break, and went to the bathroom to take a breather and fix herself.

After entering the bathroom, she was surprised to find her fellow hostess Jess McDonell washing herself in front of a mirror. Jess was a beautiful Australian lady hired by Gamespot a couple years prior, and was also quite the hit with the gamers. For the event, she was wearing a black t-shirt-gray legging combo that clung beautifully to her thicker frame, specially to her juicy breasts and firm ass. Her gorgeous brown hair was longer, curlier, and of a lighter shade than Syd’s, and was also tied back so she could avoid getting it wet.

Syd had very few interactions with Jess, even before working on the gaming field. A couple of pleasantries were all she had to go for in regards to a first impression, so she didn’t really have an idea of what she was like. Being completely honest to herself, she always thought the aussie looked a bit snobby, as if she thought she was better than everyone because of her looks, experience and video game taste. However, getting anywhere in this job requires connections and good PR, so making some small talk couldn't possibly hurt, right?

Stepping into the sink next to hers to touch up her makeup, Syd said in her trademark warm tone:

“Oh my god Jess, is that you? I didn’t know you were also at the venue! How’s the con treating ya?”

Jess looked back at her fellow host with surprise and a polite smile, and responded: “Oh hi Syd, yeah Gamespot is also promoting a couple new releases here, so we’ve been here all day entertaining guests”.

“Very nice! But say girl, do you ever get tired of all the exposure that the job brings?”, she replied while starting to fix her makeup.

“What do you mean?”, Jess inquired in a very underwhelmed tone while facing the mirror.

“You know, the comments, catcalls, and attempts of groping by those horny nerds. It seriously looks like they haven’t ever met a lady in person their whole lives. Do you believe that I caught one today crawling on the floor trying to look under my skirt? It makes me so angry!”

“Like you don’t enjoy the attention, you whore”, the Aussie mumbled in a low tone, but thanks to her exhaustion, she did not realize it was still audible.

Syd looked back at Jess in shock, almost not believing what she had heard. “Excuse me, what did you just say?”

Jess faced her colleague gasping and covering her mouth, shocked and almost embarrassed after her display of lack of self-control. She wasn’t fond of Syd, and made that no secret to her colleagues at Gamespot. Having to leave her country in order to pursue limited work opportunities in a male-dominated hobby she loved wasn’t easy, and she prided herself a lot at her success on the field. And then self-absorbed bimbos like Sydnee Goodman enter the scene, who don’t even care about gaming, and in instants became more popular than her after shoving their tits and asses at their viewers. It made her blood boil, that’s for sure.

In a normal situation, she would have immediately apologized, and tried to patch things up with her colleague. However, today had not been a good day for her. Her boss had yelled at her multiple times after the low numbers their booth had been making during the day, asking her to look more appealing and comparing her to other female hosts. And who would’ve guessed, one of those bitches just walked up to her on a silver platter. She knew EXACTLY how she wanted to seize the moment.

“What, was your hearing damaged after all those ‘unwanted’ catcalls, you slut? Didn’t you look at yourself in the mirror before leaving? For sure you realized that going out dressed like that would've lured out these idiots?”, she spat at Syd, staring daggers at her competitor.

“What the fuck is your problem?” the IGN host replied angrily, turning against her attacker. “I never did anything to you, and even then, your first instinct is to slutshame me? Besides, your outfit is in no way conservative my dear”

“Oh please”, the Aussie replied, taking a dangerous step towards Syd. “Don’t play dumb with me bitch. We both know there’s no way in HELL you could’ve scored so much on the job being the talentless whore you are. I’ve seen your sad excuse for content, and I have to say, I’m not impressed”.

Her face was mere inches of the tan lady, whose exquisite green eyes contrasted beautifully with Jess' dark brown ones. “Tell me Goodman, how many IGN talent scouts did you have to fuck in order to get your job? Because considering how much of a tramp you are, it must’ve at least been 2 or 3, right?”, she added, with a hateful smile.

“Oh, so that’s what it is then?”, Syd replied snarkly, pressing her breasts against her opponent’s. “I’m flattered that you were this jealous of my career and of this for such a long time”, she said, gesturing to her body. “If you’re struggling in your career buddy, I would love to give you some pointers”.

“Huh, that’s strange, I can’t seem to find what you were referring to”, Jess answered, while splashing a large amount of water from the faucet at Syd’s face and clothes. “I only see a dirty cocksucker who got too wet after her last fuck session. And besides…”, she leaned over her ear and whispered for the final part: “I’d rather rip all of my hair by hand then have to take advice on a one-trick bitch with such a grading voice”.

Syd’s mouth was wide open. With water dripping from her skirt, she couldn’t believe the nerves on that fat bitch. She wanted nothing more than to repay the “compliments” fairly, and mirrored the whispering motion: “What a coincidence! I could actually help you with both of those things, honey”.

“Really? I would love to see you try”, Jess threatened through gritted teeth. Their faces were almost touching, with the sensorial blend of the smell of their beauty products and the heat of their tired warm breaths causing a mutual dizzying feeling, equally arousing and hateful.

The truth is, like in any other field dominated by women who relied on their good looks to score jobs, the “nerdy celebrity” space was also riddled with feuds between female professionals. Most of them never got physical, as duking it out with a bitch could cause a lot of trouble at the workspace. Canceling recordings due to bruises on the body, or even being canceled yourself after being accused of getting violent with another person for example, could get you fired easily.

However, that doesn’t mean that catfights were an uncommon occurrence. Syd herself could attest to that, having brawled with her three predecessors at IGN in multiple past circumstances (some of them even to entertain her bosses!). Jessica Chobot, Naomi Kyle and Alanah Pearce all had the rare pleasure of getting intimate with Goodman in violent battles, and even though she didn’t win all of them, she knew she had the experience to thrash a basic bitch like McDonell. She was already picturing in her head all the ways she could pounce at her foe and damage her overrated body. One slap is all it would take to ignite their brawl, and time seemed to stop to a halt for a couple seconds…

…but even so, she didn’t feel they had crossed that invisible line that would lead to a violent outburst. They were in a public space after all, during their work time! Besides, Syd was incredibly tired after her work day. Rolling around on a dirty bathroom floor wouldn’t do her any favors.

With a sigh of relief, Syd backed down from the Aussie and proposed warmily: “You know Jess, I think we got out on the wrong foot just now. We both had really rough work days, so why don’t we just shake on it and try this interaction again another time, where hopefully we can truly get to know each other”. She started to leave and added: “You’re an inspiration for all of us, girl! Don’t let anyone take that away from you.”

Even after the peace offer Jess was fuming. Who did that slut think she was, bailing out on her after an exchange that heated?? Even though she had never fought before, she knew she was stronger and hotter than the American, and she could ruin her. The catfight was going to happen today, no matter what either party wanted.

Before Syd could leave the bathroom, Jess grabbed her arm and said, “Syd, wait!”. When Goodman turned around, Jess spat on her face, adding with a malicious grin: “Just making sure that you’ll be ready for the next time you have to suck another execs’ cock, darling. I’ve heard that cum sticks to the face like a motherfucker.”

That was the tipping point. Without thinking, Syd screeched and rushed towards Jess, pinning her against the wall, shouting: “Do you have a death wish or something?”

“The only wish I have right now is to beat you to a pulp cxnt!”, Jess replied, gripping Syd’s ponytail, causing her to wince in pain.

With the short opening provided by the American after the hair pull, she kneed Goodman in the gut, and shoved her at one of the bathroom stalls. She fell to the floor with an audible *THUD*, but quickly got to her feet.

Even though both beauties stared at each other anticipating the next move, the brawl was interrupted by a noise coming from outside. “Are you okay in there?”, said what the girls assumed was a security guard.

Not wanting to risk her job, Jess yelled back: “Everything is alright, my friend here just tripped on the wet floor! We’ll be out in a minute!”

Syd looked back at her opponent with a sly smile, breathing heavily. “The fact that you got all hot and bothered wanting to fight me and backed down at the last second says a lot about you Jessie. Do you really feel that threatened by me?”

“Oh honey”, the thicker girl replied, with her heart pounding. “If you think that we aren’t going to wrestle today you’re even dumber than I thought.”

“What do you suggest then, Aussie?”, Syd taunted, getting dangerously close to her foe again.

“Did you forget today is the last day of the con, bimbo? Let’s settle this after the event, before we fly back home.”, Jess spat back, compensating for her lack of self-control from earlier by not jumping at Syd right there and now.

“Time and place cxnt?”, the American inquired, also doing her best to hold back.

“I’ll figure something out”, Jess concluded, grabbing her purse and leaving. Syd left a bit later, to avoid suspicion. In her mind, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had made a big mistake. What was she thinking, declaring war to another girl like that? However, deep inside she knew she wanted this. Maybe it was the animal portion of her brain, but the idea of fighting with another bitch for dominance felt incredible. By the time she returned to her booth, the fear had been taken over completely by her desire to fight that cxnt. No, not just fighting, but destroying her.

For the next hour, the girls’ bodies were filled with anticipation. While entertaining the few remaining guests and helping to close down their respective booths, the hosts would take moments to stare each other down from a distance, mouthing insults and threats.

The rest of the day flew by in a flash, the promise of finally tearing into each other causing the ladies to work even harder than usual. Jess got her wish a bit earlier though, after sneaking up to Syd in the final minutes and sticking her nails at the American's shoulder.

“Miss me, whore?”, she whispered in a seductive way.

“Already wanna go slut? If so, I would love to fulfill my promise of making you bald”, Syd purred back, stepping on her enemy’s foot.

“I bet even then I would still be hotter than you”, the Aussie replied, sticking her claws deeper into her rival's shoulder and drawing a bit of blood. “Follow me to my hotel room, and we can sort that out properly. That is, if you aren’t scared of getting your ugly face ruined”, she added, this time slapping Syd hard in the face for good measure.

“You little-”, Syd tried to slap her back, but she was already heading for the hotel. Syd followed at a moderate pace, again trying to avoid suspicion.

The hotel was a relatively fancy place near the convention center, after all, anyone who has to endure an event like that for 10 hours straight deserves the best. Jess opened the door of her room, and left it open, sitting on the bed biting her lips in anticipation.

Syd arrived not long after, making sure to survey the location while locking the door. It was a pretty standard bedroom, with the right side housing a large bed facing a television on the wall. The bathroom door was on the left side, passing through a kitchen space with a table and a small hotel fridge. Facing the door, a small living room with a tiny center table and a couch greeted the visitors.

Jess swiftly stood up upon seeing her rival, and the two goddesses started circling each other around the table like rival lionesses, removing their shoes in the process. Time seemed to slow down for a while, both ladies waiting for the other to break the stalemate. They took those precious seconds to survey their opponent with more detail, realizing how similar their proportions were, a thought that only angered them further. They were both visibly exhausted after their long day, but that technicality would hardly get in the way of their battle.

“Before we begin, wanna establish some ground rules?” Syd proposed, never breaking eye contact.

“None. I don’t want anything getting in the way of your beating. We go until one of us gives. Slapping, punching, kicking, grappling, biting, hair ripping, tit mauling and pussy raking are all allowed. Don’t worry about the room either, Gamespot is paying for it, so even if your fat ass ends up breaking a table we should be good”, she explained, while starting to remove her shirt and revealing a simple white bra.

“Guess we’re going all out then whore? Let me just undress properly first” the IGN girl said, removing her skirt and exposing her black panties.

“Like I’m allowing you that courtesy bimbo” Jess replied, tossing her removed black shirt at Syd’s face, stunning her for a second and allowing the Gamespot host to pounce on her rival, immediately going for a brutal assault, sticking her nails into the american’s recently exposed firm ass and biting hard at her shoulder. Syd howled in pain, kickstarting their brutal conflict.

The women fell to the ground, rolling around in a messy catball. No words were coming out of their mouths, but their struggle was still highlighted by the sounds of feral grunts, pained whimpers and the juicy sound of flesh slapping against flash.

At first, the fight was developing in an amateurish fashion. Anyone who had heard the rules set by Jess wouldn’t be wrong to think that he was watching a completely different set of gamer girls fighting each other. Their attacks were way more contained, with their rolling around only interrupted by the occasional punches and kicks. You can’t fault them for using more instinctual moves though, after all, they were unfamiliar with the other’s body, and every gamer knew that trying to defeat a boss without paying attention to its attack patterns would only lead to a quick defeat.

And that’s exactly how Syd managed to gain an advantage. After opening Jess up with a kick to the gut, she grabbed her by her long ponytail and put the Aussie in a headlock. “Still wanna keep fighting, freak?”, she whispered, almost nibbling at her opponent's ear.

“Go to hell Goodman!”, Jess yelled back, going for an already exposed spot, tearing with all her might at the American’s panties. As soon as she tore them enough to feel her opponent’s lips, she attacked them with no mercy.

Syd shrieked, never having experienced a pain this massive in her life. She fell on top of the central table, feeling a bit groggy. Jess licked her lips at the opportunity, returning the favor by stomping at her gut  multiple times, forcing her opponent’s back against the table.

Even though it hurt like a motherfucker, the impact was like a jolt of electricity on Syd’s body, giving her the adrenaline to stand up and charge at her oppressor, digging her nails in her face. Jess was surprised by the outburst, and both gamers collapsed on the king-size bed. The smaller space required different tactics, so the ladies stood on their knees, and went hard for their opponent’s mane, untying their ponytails in the process to avoid losing a large amount of strands.

Despite their grueling fight, at that point both women looked beautiful, with the way their tresses fell on their faces highlighting their natural features even more. That sentiment only served to fuel their hatred however, as the realization added to the previously perceived exhilarating smell of the opponent, that like a moth to a flame, drew them to the conflict.

Soon, the once pristine white sheets of the bed were filled with brown tresses of different shades. The women grappled and yanked their opponent’s hair with all their might, tearing whole chunks of it in the process. Soon, their hairs became wild, disheveled manes, and the pain of the hairpulling session got to the ladies.

Simultaneously releasing their hands from each other’s tresses, the ladies moaned as they tried to lick their wounds. The truce didn’t last long though, as Jess immediately realized another opening and mounted her foe, raining a series of slaps at her face.

“You fucking coward! If you want to have a slap fight, at least let me fight back!”, the American replied, already tasting a little blood in her mouth from the beating.

“You’re being such a pathetic bitch right now that I might just entertain your request, bimbo”, spat the aggressor, while adding a couple more strikes for her own personal pleasure.

Both beauties stood up from the bed, getting ready for the next stage of their struggle. Syd took the opportunity to remove her top, due to the rise in temperature from the confrontation, leaving only her black bra covering her figure.

“Gotta say, I understand even less how your fat ass got this far on the field” taunted Jess, taking the first slap of the match. “I’m trying to resist the urge to puke after looking at your disgusting body as we speak”.

“We both know you’re lying, cxnt!”, the IGN host replied, slapping the Aussie back. “You know you like this. If you wanna compare it so hard, why don’t you even the odds?”, she proposed, pointing at her opponent’s leggings.

“And lose my advantage over you? Do you think I was born yesterday, you pussy?”, the Gamespot host answered, following various violent slaps in the face.

“Less talking and more fighting gutter trash”, Syd spat, returning the favor in spades.

The slapping lasted for a couple more minutes, every strike leaving the girls more debilitated than before, until Syd broke the conflict by delivering a mighty kick to her opponent’s crotch. Jess gasped silently, finally feeling what she had put her rival through.

“All’s fair in love and war, right you whore?” Syd murmured with a devilish tone, as Jess fell to the floor clutching her privates.

Goodman took no time at all to take advantage of the opportunity, putting her opponent’s legs through a series of painful holds, extending her punishment. Aside from hurting Jess, the attack also served to loosen up her pants, allowing Syd to remove them.

However Jess’ fight or flight response kicked in at that moment, almost literally, when she kicked Syd in the face and stumbled to the bathroom. Syd followed her, staggering like a drunk due to the exhaustion. As the green and brown eyes met again in the bathroom, an unseen challenge was cast.

Jess raised her arms, goading Syd into a test of strength, which the American happily obliged. Their hands intertwined, with the nails digging into flash for good measure, and under grunts of effort, both beauties started to push.

At first, the duel was “honorable”, at least as much as two semi-nude girls pushing each other in a bathroom could be, with both of them sticking to a straight path. However, it didn’t take that long until they started crashing their arms and bodies into walls to deal the most damage possible.

For the first minute, the test was incredibly even. When Jess moved an inch, Syd immediately pushed back. In Goodman’s head, she assumed that if she could save her strength, she could deal the finishing blow right then and there. She just needed to hold on for a couple more seconds…

…and then McDonell started to push.

With a strength that even the Aussie didn’t know that she had, she started to shove the slimmer girl towards the kitchen table. For the first time in this entire battle, Syd felt genuine fear, and Jess felt an intense pleasure after realizing that.

Even trying as much as possible, Syd was unable to push back. Step by step, her trembling legs were being forced towards the kitchen table, until her back was laid against the furniture.

Jess towered over her enemy, the tips of the matted mane that was once her gorgeous long hair touching her opponent. With the hatred never leaving her eyes despite the fear, Syd’s back was once again on the verge of being punished.

However, when their bodies touched, Jess could feel their hardened nipples pushing through their bras, once again providing her with that intoxicating mixture of arousal and dominance that fueled the fight since their interaction in the venud. She released the American's hands, and seeing as her rival was on the verge of fainting, also banged her head at the table to keep her awake.

“There’s only one way we can end this cocksucker”, she said in a calm tone in between her panting, while unclasping her bra. “Why don’t we let our girls do the talking?”

Breathing heavily, Goodman smirked. “I saw on internet forums that people love to rank celebrities’ breasts. Guess who they think is leagues above you, cum dumpster?”, she spat, mirroring her opponent’s motion and letting her breasts finally breathe.

“I’ll fucking ruin you”, the Aussie replied thorugh gritted teeth, grabbing her opponent’s hair.  Syd did the same, and they wasted no time slamming their breasts at the other’s pair.

Fortunately for Syd, this was the type of battle she was most used to. Titfights were usually the quickest and safest way to settle a dispute at the IGN offices, and she prided herself over her numerous victories over Alanah Pearce’s gorgeous pair (even though their catfights were much closer struggles).

Soon, their girls were starting to show some tears. Their hard nipples were being crushed around the mountains of flesh, and bruises were starting to form. Syd was getting the better end of the deal, damaging her opponent two fold for every slam that targeted her pair.

However, both ladies realized that this couldn’t keep on. Their bodies were sore, sweaty and bruised all over, with their breasts now reddened with the impact. The slams slowed down, and they instinctively laid down on the floor, moaning and breathing heavily.

For most women, that’s when a catfight would end. Going beyond that could be really damaging, and usually the opponents recognize each other’s strength and leave each other be. But not for these two.

Even though they had barely interacted with each other before, their internal perception of the other was hardly flattering. Deep down, whenever they heard the other advertise their shows on those short Youtube stories, trying to look their best for the gamers, they wanted to jump at the screen and make sure that the other knew who the better bitch was. If they could, they would certainly fight for as long as possible to prove that point.

And so, upon realizing that their opponent was still able to fight, they both entered autopilot. Circling each other on all fours, with their nails positioned like claws and their asses like tails, they looked like wild felines fighting a piece of meat. Their hairs were obscuring part of their faces, and any semblance of trash talk was replaced with animalistic grunts, going truly feral.

Then, they attacked, pouncing on each other. What happened next is hard to describe, a messy catball accompanied by biting, scratching and kicking. If you looked from afar, it might not even appear that humans were brawling at all.

However, every struggle must eventually come to an end, and that happened when Syd managed to pin Jess to the ground. Regaining some semblance of humanity after their wild outburst, both girls resumed their trash talk.

“Give up bitch, and I’ll let you take your flight with your clothes on!”, the American threatened.

“Just wait until I get out of here, freak, then I’ll shove you out of here to the gutter, where you belong!”, the Aussie spat back.

“And how do you plan on doing that, you jealous whore? By spitting at my face again?”

“Doesn’t matter cxnt. I’m better than you, and you for sure aren’t leaving here in one piece.”

“I’m so sick of hearing your accent, McDonell! It’s about time someone shut you up!”

“You’re not going to get the chance!” Jess said, biting at Syd’s calves.

“Going back to old tricks, whale? Don’t mind if I give them a shot too”, and with that, a short but intense biting contest happened between the battling beauties. Looking for any part of the body to torture their opponent with, shoulders, legs, tits and lips all became targets for their violent outburst. However, the winner of the battle had already been decided, and the Aussie didn’t last long, allowing Syd to put her worn out pussy over her face, feeling the strongest wave of pleasure she had ever felt in her life she moaned loudly, only motivating her more to finally put her down for good.

Taking another page out of her opponent’s book, Syd tore at Jess’ white panties, trying her hardest to ruin her pussy in the process. The Aussie squirmed under the American, who tried to keep her opponent awake for the process with slaps to the face, but it still wasn’t enough. After a minute of the assault, Jess finally fainted, making Syd the winner of the fight.

She breathed a sigh of relief, almost collapsing in the process as well. Although she felt like the strongest woman in the world at the moment, it was still the hardest battle she had been a part of. But she wasn’t done yet.

First things first, she refreshed herself with a bath in the room’s shower, while probably taking a break in the middle to masturbate thinking about the fight. She half-hoped that Jess would stand up so they could resume their fight at the shower, like one of her previous battles with Naomi Kyle, but unfortunately, the thicker girl was still out cold when she left the bathroom.

After getting dressed, she decided to prolong her suffering. Syd collected the Australian’s discarded clothes and her travel suitcase and threw them out of the room. Facing her downed foe, she fixed herself trying to look as sexy as possible, and spat on her rival's face to wake her up.

“Rise and shine piece of trash. If you want your clothes back, they’ll be at the lost and found. I really hope no one gives you any ‘unwanted attention’ while you walk naked to the counter”, she said with a grin on her face.

“YOU PIECE OF SHIT! If I ever run into you again, I’ll fucking kill you, do you understand?”, Jess spat back, trying to stand up and reignite the battle, but fully aware that her body wasn’t allowing her to.

“Oh sweetie, today was so fun that we should totally do this again sometime!” she purred, kneeling down next to the wounded wildcat. “If you want a rematch, just DM me if you can, and I’ll be there to fuck you up as many times as you like”, she threatened, mixing up her words with slaps and spits to Jess’ face, knocking her back to the ground.

“I HATE YOU SO MUCH! THIS ISN’T OVER, DO YOU HEAR ME?”, she screamed back, starting to cry in rage at her own powerlessness. 

“You and me both honey. And don’t worry…” she said, turning her back to her foe, “... neither of us said ‘I give’, right?”, and then left the room amongst Jess’ whimpers, ending her lengthy work day. By that point, she sure felt she could use a vacation.

THE END

So there you have it! Like I said in the beggining, any feedback is appreciated, I would love to know if my writing style is any good for these types or stories. I might even want to make more of them in the future. So what did you think?

*

Offline the_walkin_dude

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 47
Re: Sydnee Goodman vs Jess McDonell: battle of the video game hosts
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2022, 04:08:15 PM »
Greetings,

Excellent work with the piece above. Far as feedback is concerned, here's my two cents worth...

* Both participants were unknown to me heading in, so I appreciated the time taken to A) establish  their backgrounds / bona fides and B) why there might be some natural animosity between them.

* The Con setting's another nice touch that serves as a believable / logical venue for the start of hostilities.

* Really dug the initial confrontation in the bathroom, how mutual exhaustion and shortened tempers almost got them started then and there, but they maintained enough control to understand that properly settling things would require somewhere a bit more private. Descriptions of their mutual disgust / anticipation were quite good too.

* The actual fight in the hotel room was as frenetic and mean-spirited as you'd imagine, I especially liked Jess seizing an early advantage when Sydnee was attempting to undress, that's the kind of detail that really builds bad blood quickly.

* Flurry of biting at the end was just mean.

* If I've got one concern in terms of a potential long-term rivalry between these two, it's that they went so hard in this initial encounter that there's a high bar to meet or clear for future matches. It's not a bad thing, but given then nastiness on display here, it almost feels like they should've started with something like the Slap Fight Syd mentions mid-battle, then escalated to the full on no-rules catfight somewhere down the line.

* The nod to Street Fighter 2 in the aftermath of Goodman's victory was delightful.

Again, excellent work. Thanks for sharing with us.

~rf

*

Offline Edududu

  • Junior Member
  • **
  • 8
Re: Sydnee Goodman vs Jess McDonell: battle of the video game hosts
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2022, 10:04:54 PM »
Thanks a lot for the kind words! It truly means a lot to have a regular member of the forum giving this sort of feedback for my work!

Just out of curiosity, when you say the biting was "just mean", do you mean you thought it was enjoyable, or excessive? Just asking because this was one of the last elements I put in the story, and was unsure if it was too much.

I also agree about your comment at the rivalry. I put so many eggs in the basket that was this story that I'm kinda unsure what I could do if a follow-up were ever to happen. Honestly it might've been better to end it with a complete dominance by Sydnee (which was even the preferred result at the poll I made), but a stalemate like that is closer to what I enjoy in these types of stories. I even considered going into some of the other battles Sydnee had which I cited in the story, as a follow-up but nothing definitive yet.

Again, thanks a lot for the time you took reading and commenting the story!

*

Offline emmaduncxn

  • Junior Member
  • **
  • 9
Re: Sydnee Goodman vs Jess McDonell: battle of the video game hosts
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2022, 08:33:34 AM »
THIS IS A MASTERPIECE! always wanted a catfight story starring those ladies at IGN.