Hey all,
Just thought I'd share that the figurative ball is finally rolling! WARNING: Long post ahead but I hope it's worth the read as it truly sets the stage. Some of you will see this is my "first post", but in reality it is not. This account was created to ensure anonymity and support future endeavors, whatever they may be!
To expand on the previous statements you'll need a little history to appreciate it. I've been into catfighting and FvF things for as along as I can remember. It's something that I knew all along that I'd eventually have to share with someone else if I were to get married, but it was utterly the most uncomfortable thing I could imagine doing. Fear, questions, doubt, and everything that came with exposing the truth, and allowing myself to be vulnerable prevented me from sharing too much early on. When I met my girlfriend, who is now my wife, nearly 17 years ago I bottled it all up and kept it a secret. I'd drop a few hints or make mention of the liking catfights, but never enough for her to consider me weird and push me away. She brushed it off as something all guys were into. I'd tease it here and there, but nothing more than a few sentences.
Years later, while vacationing in the tropics, I opened up more and gave her the honest truth about my feelings towards it, but didn't share that I had a collection of several terabytes worth of material, or in-depth knowledge of every corner of the web that is supported by this community. She accepted it, entertained it jokingly, and left it to die out. She explicitly said that she didn't want me looking at "that stuff" (or even general porn for that matter). Whatever got me going with catfighting, it didn't do it for her.
Fast forward to a few months ago and we experienced a few spells of infidelity among our friends and family. My wife got to thinking and decided to snoop around on me. I slipped up with my usual precautions and she discovered my "stash". She didn't view anything. She only took pictures of the text search results to call me out on it. Let me tell you, THIS was what I needed to finally get over the hump of confessing it all. The time to come absolutely clean was forced upon me. The conversation that followed was civil and cordial -- no yelling, screaming, threatening...she just really needed reassurance that I was still faithful. I assured her as much, and then some. I love my wife. She's the only woman I've ever been with and that will never change. We get along great and have a great life together. So much so that our circle of friends and family look to us as the ideal couple. When we do bicker publicly it always gets pointed out -- "oh, so you guys ARE a normal couple" or "I'm so happy to see that you guys argue just like us".
We truly had an honest heart-to-heart. I explained everything and that nothing about that part of me was going to change. But my fantasies and fetish for it also doesn't affect my love for her -- if anything, it only enhances it because of her reaction to it. Her true angst was me seeing other women nude (fully clothed with the action is fine -- her words, not mine). I get it though. I haven't been with anyone but her, and she has anxiety that I'd want to see what else is out there since I never got to experience it. It was a decision by choice, not lack of opportunity, so there in it of itself grew her concern...that I'd choose to pounce on an opportunity. We talked for hours on end. I played on the fact that she enjoys her graphic novels very much. Side note: I don't care what women say, it's just like porn but in word form with a more in-depth storyline. I'm completely fine with her going through scores of such books. In fact, whenever I get to see her get off on the books, it's enticing for me as well. Sometimes she thinks I'm asleep, but I enjoy watching her in the dark too
. Other times I'll lean over and lend a helping hand
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But I digress. The reason I mention all of this is I believe we landed on a healthy compromise. No more intentional browsing of pornography without her knowing. I asked her about the stories and books that exist out there for folks just like myself. She's completely on board with that too, just no nude visuals. I'm completely comfortable talking to her about everything now and she entertains it even more. She's stated that she'd never catfight or wrestle another woman, unless I'm on my death bed...then she'd grant me that wish. The other caveat is that it'd be with someone we don't know and far away from where we live to avoid awkwardness during any chance meeting elsewhere (insert Lloyd Christmas: "So you're saying there's a chance!"). The banter is playful yet very arousing. Just recently, with the Mega Millions lottery craze, I asked her if someone offered her a million dollars to wrestle another woman would she do it. Wife: "I'd only have to do it once?" Me: "Yep." Wife: "Oh yeah! Then yes". I pushed even further. What if you only got the million for winning and $10,000 if you lose. Wife: "Oh, I'd still do it. $10,000 is still a good amount. As long as she's the same size and has no experience like me. Then at least I know I'd have a chance at the million." She knows the undertones behind my ask, which makes it all the more exciting. That's just one of the many occasions I get to share freely with my wife now and I LOVE it!
But what about the "ball rolling" and future endeavors mentioned at the beginning of this post you ask? Well, I thoroughly enjoy writing (I always have, even as a young kid). Through our newly open dialogue I discussed writing short erotic/catfight stories and publishing them through Amazon Kindle. She's all for it; she didn't even know that was possible. I assured her that there were more "out there" genres than what I enjoy. So I started writing a cluster of short catfight stories, all of which I'm nearly finished with. I told her I'd need some artwork to accompany my publication if it's going to sell and attract buyers. But, I pointed out that with her stipulation of me not perusing the web for stock images, I would need to source them in some other way. I asked if she would be the cover model. Surprise y'all! On top of writing, I also enjoy photography and I'm stellar at Photoshop. I told her the images would be silhouette-like mainly and I could change the shape/size/color of anything so she wouldn't even know it was her in the final product. She agreed to it! She'd have to approve of the final image(s) of course.
In summary, I guess you can chalk this is up as my shameless plug for an upcoming Kindle release, with a slight twist to what's already out there -- she's agreed to read my stories and assist in editing the text, so technically a book co-authored by my wife! In addition, I'm hoping to take several different photos related to the storylines and not necessarily only for the cover. Wouldn't it be easier to hire another model? Yes, but for now this is what I have to work with. Will it be a possibility in the future? See the last line of the first paragraph in this post
. There's no doubt in my mind that the staging and editing of the photos is going to be a tall task but I'm ready for the challenge!
I'm sharing all of this with the hope that we'll garner support for our first launch when it arrives. That is all. Thanks for listening to my rant...I'm giddy like a little school girl knowing how far I've come and how supportive my wife has been! So if any of you gentlemen are still reading this post, there's always an avenue. Be patient, be supportive, be honest, and above all be realistic. It has definitely opened many more opportunities for us...some of which is only loosely related to this topic (although it's a direct result of it), that I may share in another post sometime
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Happy Wanking!
