[sinclairfan]

Setting:  a St Louis suburb in 2011

Dramatis personae:

Stacy - a 41-year old perpetually single blonde.  Stacy has had many boyfriends but has never gotten married.  She harbors many regrets over this, and over the years has cried on the shoulder of her BFF Danielle.

Danielle - also blonde and 41 (she and Stacy were in the same 1988 Catholic high school graduating class), Danielle is rebounding from her 2009 divorce from her husband Tim, with whom she has two daughters.  They share custody of the girls.

Both women are 5'7", 125, 38d, and fit.

Stacy is visiting Danielle at Danielle's bachlorette rental in a sketchy neighborhood still reeling from the effects of the foreclosure wave which just about ruined it.

S--Knock, knock.  Can I come in?

D--Sure. 

S--Sure??  Is now not a good time?

D--No, no!  I didn't mean it that way.

S--Well?  How DID you mean it?  [Meaning to be funny, but coming out bitchy.  Stacy has zero sense of delivering a punchline.  Danielle thinks that's a reason--one of many--why Stacy is still single.  She keeps meaning to bring it up someday.]

D--It's just .... my girls and their stupid backpacks ..... I tell them to hang them up, but they just throw them on the couch, no matter how many times I nag them.

S--[So ... you finally see what a nag you are, thinks Stacy.  Biggest reason he left you, if ya ask me.]  Oh, I don't mind.  We just need a small space to talk.

D--Well, I DO mind. 

S--[Why are you getting huffy with me??]  Danielle, no offense, but is now not a good time?  I can come back later.  I would have asked what I need to ask you on the phone ... but it's personal enough .... I thought face to face make be better.

D--No, no.  Let's get this over with now.  It's not like any other time will be better.  [If this conversation is going to get personal, Danielle doesn't want her nosey daughters around.  No doubt it's more of Stacy's relationship drama.]

S--No offense, Danielle, but 'get this over with' is the best support you can offer me??

D--[Holds Stacy's hands and hugs her.]  You know I didn't mean it that way, Stacy.  [Notices how good Stacy's hair smells, how firm her bust is.]  Let's sit on the couch.  [The two women sit, their knees awkwardly touching.]

S--Now that you mention it, tho .... getting this over with is probably the right way to describe it .... there's something I need to ask you .... and I'll chicken out if I don't get right to it.

D--If this is about money, the answer is easy:  I'm broke.

S--[When have I ever asked for money, bitch?  Altho .... I'm glad to hear you're broke.]   Nothing that ..  business-like.  This is about ...  love.

D--[I knew it.  Relationship drama.]  Ahhh, you're in love.  Do I know the lucky guy?

S--It's Tim.  Your ex.

D--[Attempting to retreat, but suddenly feeling cornered on the small couch--it's more of a loveseat now, she realzes.]  Well .... it happens ..... to all of us.  We start thinking a man we know about.  But, Stacy .... that's not what LOVE is.  I feel like we've talked about this.

S--And ..... I'll work thru that .... and that's sorta why I'm here .... I want your blessing, Dani, ..   to date him.  To date Tim.

D--[Staring in disbelief.] You want to date the man I divorced and am sharing custody of 2 girls with??  Stacy, even setting aside that you and Tim and I socialized thru our whole marriage .... no matter how much of a third wheel you were at times .... do you think I want my daughters around you and him ... [air quotes] 'dating'??

S--Leave your girls out of ghis, Dani.  This is between you and me, agreed?

D--[Stands up]  Hell, no, I don't agree, Stace.  [When Danielle and Stacy have argued over the years, they call each other 'Dani' and 'Stace'.  They both now know that 'it's on'.]  Being a parent isn't something you set aside.  You carry it all the time. 

S--[Just because she's not a parent herself doesn't mean she can't understand what it's like, thinks Stacy to herself.]  Ok, we're ALL involved in this.  [intended as an olive branch to passify the agitated Danielle, but it falls flat]

D--No, no.  Stace.  Stop.  Just stop.  You're not . .. involved .... with Tim ...  or my girls.  Get on a dating app.  Go on a shopping spree.  But DO NOT date Tim!!

S--Dani?!?  Tim is single.

D--[Gets back down on the couch.  Gets in Stacy's face, smelling her hair again.  She doesn't want Tim getting close enough to Stacy to smell it.]  Stacy, I'm going to tell you something that's none of your damn business, but something you need to hear ... to get a full picture if the situation.  TIM .... IS .... SLEEPING ... WITH SOMEONE.

S--You and him talk about his sex life??

D--[What a clueless bimbo Stacy can be sometimes.]  The woman he's sleeping with is me, Stacy.

S--Oh.  Can you, like, back off?

D--[stands back up.]  There.  I backed off.  Now .... are YOU going to back off, Stacy?

S--Dani.  I said I was in love.

D--And ...  I said to back off.

S--I don't think I'm going to.  At least ..  not because of YOU.  [stands up, putting down her purse on the couch]

D--How long have you loved him?

S--Now who's asking things that are none of their business?

D--If it was while he and I were still married..... I think it IS my business.

S--[That 3rd wheel comment really hurt.  Stacy wants to hurt Danielle back.]  I loved Tim while you two were married.  If you must know.

D--I love him now.  After the divorce.  If YOU must know.

S--Well, well.  I'm so glad this is in the open.  Danielle.

D--As am I.  Stacy.

S--I'm going to date him, you realize?

D--He's taken.

S--The courts say otherwise.  And he might as well.

D--Do NOT ask him.

S--I don't see how you get a say.

D--What would make you see things better?

S--I think I see .... everything ... I need to see.

D--I don't think you see how serious I am about this.

S--[Steps up and gets nose to nose with Danielle.]  Oh?  You gonna show me, sweetie?  You know we've both wanted this for awhile now.  I think this friendship long outlived its usefulness.

To be continued....

[sinclairfan]

D--Let me get this straight.  You came over here this morning to catfight me?  In my house?

S--[Tries to think of as sarcastic an answer as possible.]  Well, I figured it's the best place cuz it's not like you have any furniture to break.

D--Ya know, your passive-aggressive put-downs were bad enough when I was married, Stace.  They just got worse when I got divorced and coulda used some supportiveness.

S--Oh, that's funny.  Because I coulda sworn you just said you get as much support from Tim as you did before ..... oh, THE BIG DIVORCE.

D--[Stacy and Danielle have been gradually inching their way to the most open place in the small Craftsman-style home, with low 7-foot ceilings and an open floor plan.  The two women approach each other, barefoot and in jeans.  When did Stacy slide her shoes off?  wonders Danielle.]  I gotta know, Stace.  Your big plan fall apart??  Were you hanging around, lurking around, Tim amd me all these years, Stace?  just waiting for us to split, so you could swoop in and grab him??  Is that the REAL REASON you stayed single all these years?  Huh, Stace?

S--You always needed me to be the pathetic one, Dani.  That's why you never made any married friends.  You always needed to condescend to your single sob story friend.  Well, you don't have a husband .... and now you don't have a friend.  And one other thing .... then I'm done talking ....

D--[Gets nose to nose with her now ex-friend].  What might that be sweetie?

S--What we're about to do ..... don't tell me you haven't been wondering for years now who would win.  Who the better woman is.

D--If you wanted to go with me .... why didn't you just ask?

S--I'm asking now.

D--The answer is yes.  Let's rumble, Stace.  Don't go easy on me.

S--Oh, don't worry about that.

[The two women move their hands into each others' blonde manes and beging tugging.]

[Each is the most aroused they've ever been.]

To be continued.....

[sinclairfan]

As the two former best friends grappled, stand-up style, across the combined living room and dining room space, the hairpulling-only (so far, at least) tactics were not out of cowardice, but rather out of prudent caution.

You see, attending Catholic high school a quarter-century ago in an over-the-hill, past-its-prime St Louis suburb, both women had had ample opportunity to witness each others' chickfights.  And each knew that the other 'knew how to throw hands'--each had a fist which packed a vicious punch, and that their faces would be exposed to severe damage if the others' swing connected unimpeded.

D--We really gonna do this, hun?  Last chance to back out, bitch.

S--You're lucky it hasn't happened already, dearie.  You've been nothing but pissy to me since your split with Tim.

D--Maybe the only reason I wasn't pissy DURING the marriage was out of respect to him.  He didn't need to see us bicker, bitch.

S--Why not?  Because then he would have felt sorry for me and comforted me?  [the women's hairpulling has gotten noticably harder]

D--That's your strategy for attracting men?  Pity??  No wonder you're single, stupid bitch.

S--What's yours?  To divorce them.

D--[Danielle can't take the baiting a second longer.  She releases her grip on Stacy's hair with her right hand, and punches Stacy in the mouth.]  Shit, that felt fucking good.

S--Do it again, then, bitch.

D--Don't mind if I do.  [Danielle punches Stacy in the nose.]

S--I'm GLAD you did that.  Because before that, I felt sorry for your girls for how bad I wanted to fuck you up.  But you just cured me of that feeling, sweetie.  [Stacy punches Danielle twice in the jaw.]

D--Still got it, I see.  Lots of Happy Hour barfights in single life?

S--Lots of fighting of mistresses in married life?

D--Wise ass. [Kicks Stacy's shin.]

S--Hit a nerve? [Gets kicked in return.]

D--I'm not standing here and swapping blows with you all morning.

S--Ok.  When does The Main Event start?

D--Ding, ding.

Danielle and Stacy charge at each other, fists and feet flying.  A sick <thwack, thwack> bone-of-flesh sound fills the air.

Danielle can see blood on Stacy's face.

She hopes it's coming from Stacy's lip and not her own knuckles.

Because this is gonna be a long fight.

To be continued....

[sinclairfan]

The signature chickfight 'thwacking' sound reminded Danielle of growing up in the St Louis suburbs and visiting Stacy's house.  Danielle and Stacy were both 1 of 3 sisters, and at sleepovers they daydreamed about merging their households into a Brady Bunch-ish family of 6 kids.

Danielle was the oldest of her 3 sisters, while Stacy was the youngest of HER 3.  Danielle grew up to be the married one of the 2 friends, since Danielle felt the pressure to beat her 2 younger siblings to the alter.  Stacy grew up to be the single friend because as the youngest, she felt no such push.

But .... Stacy being the youngest of 3 girls also meant that in childhood household sister-fights, she was on the receiving end of beatings, rarely dishing out hurt.  Stacy,s beatings were exacerbated by our mother's refusal to intervene when her daughters started fighting.  Her philosophy was "If you start a fight, you better damn win it."  So in Stacy's house, once a sister-fight broke out, it could continue for over 10 minutes.  And the loser knew she had just been in a fight.

Danielle was at Stacy's house one day when Stacy entered her older sister Susan's room to retrieve mis-sorted clean laundry.  Susan had one rule about her bedroom:  KEEP OUT!!  When she saw that Stacy was in her bedroom, she clenched her fists and started swinging hard at Stacy's face.  Stacy retaliated, so Susan grabbed Stacy in a headlock, and aimed her right hand at Stacy's face, swinging upper cuts until Stacy was crying.

Danielle considered jumping in the help her friend, but was warned off with a threatening glare from the angry Susan.

Danielle was surprised at herself that she had considered jumping in against an older girl who was a skilled fistfighter.

But she was surprised even more at herself, later that night in bed.

She couldn't stop thinking about the sister-fight she hsd witnessed that afternoon.  She found it .... arousing.

Danielle masturbated herself to orgasm to thoughts of the Stacy-Susan fight.  Then did it again.  And again.  And again.

All night long.

The next day at school, the lack of sleep was visible in her eyes.  The Sisters/Nuns at school asked her why she looked so tired.

She blushed at being unable to share with them the real reason.  Which was that she get sexually aroused watching her best friend Stacy catfight.

And Danielle wondered if her friend Stacy got sexually aroused watching Danielle fight.

Danielle suspected Stacy did.  Anytime Danielle had a rumored or potential after-school catfight, Stacy always changed her plans to attend.

When a Danielle fight DID end up happening, Danielle wondered if Stacy masturbated to it in bed.

Danielle always wanted to ask Stacy about the topic.  But she never worked up the courage.

Now the two women were catfighting each other.

And both were aroused as hell.

To be continued.....

[sinclairfan]

Stacy, too, had been buiding a history of masturbating to thoughts of her best friend.  And while Stacy did find Danielle's after-school catfights to be moderately titillating, the real reason she attended them so religiously was because she was scoping out what boys came to watch Danielle's fight.

Stacy was fascinated with the ease with which Danielle attracted boys, and then later, men.  The boys and men chasing Danielle were always gracefully courting Danielle in a gentlemanly fashion.  Stacy seemed to attract mostly creeps, stalkers, and awkward brutes.

Even when Danielle attracted Tim.  Tim had started as a mutual friend of both Stacy and Danielle at U of M, and he developed a crush on them at the same time.  But while Tim's approaches to Stacy were nervous and flat-footed, his approach to Danielle was humorless and effortless.  So Danielle won Tim--and Stacy was the bridesmaid (literally and figuratively).

Stacy couldn't help bit wonder--were Tim and Danielle as natural and effortless behind closed doors?  and in the bedroom?

What WAS married couple sex life?  Did one always initiate?  How many positions did they do it in?  Was it love-making or fucking?

Was Danielle any good at it?

One drunken New Years Eve, right before Tim and Danielle had their first girl, Stacy asked them to make out with Stacy watching.  Danielle was reluctant.  But Tim was eager--almost too eager.  It turned Stacy on, watching Tim "in action".  What was he like naked?

That night, and almost every night since then, Stacy masturbated to the memory of Tim forcing himself on the modest Danielle.

To be continued.....

[sinclairfan]

During Danielle's marriage to Tim, the closest Stacy and Danielle had ever come to a confrontation had been at a 2003 Halloween Party.  Shortly before the party, Tim had confessed to the 2 friends a "thing" for French Maid costumes.  Danielle knew right away that Stacy would show up at the Halloween Party as a French Maid, and sure enough .... she did.

Danielle was a little bit irked at her friend for the stunt.  She did what the two friends did when there was tension between them ..... gave her the cold shoulder.  Not exclusively out of malice, but also to not let bickering erupt over small unintended slights. 

Danielle considered herself more mature than her friend in that regard, knowing from sharing a house with a spouse and daughrers that "we always hurt the one we love"; better to just let small tempests blow over.

Stacy, on the other hand, loathed with a passion the periodic silent treatments Danielle threw her way.  She considered it a melodramatic reaction, and would respond with micro-aggressions directed at Danielle, practically daring her friend to bite her tongue at Stacy's outrageous behavior.

Which, at the 2003 Halloween Party, was for Stacy, in full-blown French Maid sluttiness, to plop herself on Tim's lap.

In full view of Danielle.

Danielle knew she was being baited.  But taking the bait would have been worse than ignoring it.  A full room of Halloween parties would have had their party buzz, and in many cases their alcohol buzz, buzzkilled by square Danielle.  And Danielle would have to admit she had been eyeing Stacy from across the room all night, all without speaking to her.

So she bit her tongue.

And masturbated all night to the all-out bitchfight to which the crowd would have been treated if she had charged at Stacy, shrieking at her to:  GET THE FUCK OFF MY HUSBAND'S LAP.

Which was a funny coincidence.

Because Stacy masturbated all night, too.  To the though of Tim's hardon, touching her ass-crack, the whole time she was sitting on his lap.

To be continued....