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Writing Styles: Creating Characters Part 4 - Backstory and Internal Monologues

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Offline Kiva

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This will be a short one. I included only a couple of examples or this post would have been very long. As always, I’d love to see your comments.

My regular readers know how much I love backstories. There is probably some version of a backstory in most of stories posted on the forum. Backstories can be a highly effective device to add depth to characters, allowing readers to better understand their motivations and actions. They can add to the emotion, tension and drama of a story. I would encourage any new writer to try to develop and use a backstory. However, there are risks and potential pitfalls we should keep in mind.

What is a backstory? It is simply events in the story pertaining to a character that occurred chronologically before the opening of the story. They should always be directly relevant to the main part of the story. For example, in one of the Batman movies, before facing off with Joker, Batman has a flashback to when. as a young boy named Bruce Wayne, he witnessed his parents’ murders. This was the seminal event that motivated him to become Batman. That scene was to add stakes and tension, as well as understanding what compels Batman’s life and actions as a rather dark brooding character. Countless medical stories depict a doctor who made his career decision when a cherished family member dies. In a fight story, imagine a woman is about to confront a bully, knowing that a physical altercation may occur. Frightened and nervous, she recalls a time years earlier when she failed to defend her little sister from same bully, leaving her haunted with guilt. Now they meet again and she’s determined not to make the same mistake. A backstory might simply be one scene or it could be quite complex with multiple scenes interspersed through the story.

Backstory: General Ideas

1.   Is it relevant? Is your backstory necessary? Ask yourself what you want your backstory to communicate? How will it effect the main story? In a short story, word count is a premium, so make sure your backstory is worthwhile to readers. Think carefully about your character. If something in his/her past is relevant to the present and future, then proceed with it.
2.   Who tells the backstory? It should be consistent with the third- or first-person narration. I particularly like first=person. Another approach is to use another character, not necessarily the protagonist, to tell the backstory in dialogue.
3.   Keep it short as possible. Avoid information dumps. Remember, a backstory interrupts the main story. This is OK if you can keep the flow of the story going. If the backstory is too long or uninteresting, readers might get bored and leave. If the backstory is lengthy and complex, consider spreading it out in multiple short increments, revealing a little at a time.
4.   Where to insert the backstory ? This will be an important decision. I think it’s best to avoid the backstory too early in the story. Generally, they work best once readers have some familiarity with the character. Think of where it would work best to add tension. Batman’s flashback about his parents’ works best as he starts his showdown with Joker. It would have had much less impact in the beginning of the story. The woman fighting the bully would probably need her flashback right before the fight for extra motivation. I’ve placed flashbacks during fights, but that is extra risky. If you consider it, it must be directly related to the outcome of the fight. Our lady fighting the bully might be on the verge of submission, but her memory gives her a surge of adrenaline to break free of the bully’s hold on her.

Examples of My Backstories on FCF
1.   The Poacher 4: My co-writer, BarbaraUK’s character is an amateur MMA fighter in Manchester, UK. Her past and present are interwoven in increments in the first half of the story. She discussed her unhappy childhood in rural Poland, feeling emotionally distant from her parents. Her first experience of love came from raising a baby deer, which then grew into a majestic stag. The deer disappears. Years later, Barbara learns it was killed by illegal American hunters. This is her motive to track down and seek revenge on Paula the Poacher. I never cried so much over a deer since Bambi’s mother was shot. Barbara, if you read this, please come back and write again! Later, Paula’s own backstory is revealed by local people and detectives.

2.   Goodnight, Snowflake = Another story that alternates past and present. Marci is an aging catfighter working for a production company. As she dressed for her fight, a snowstorm reminds her of her unplanned pregnancy and the pain of giving up her baby for adoption, leading up to reveal that was a shock to absolutely no one.

3.   Poacher 3 – Brad and Kristin are undercover FBI agents spending a weekend at Paula’s lodge where Kristin and Paula have scheduled an arranged fight. Brad narrates the story, often having flashbacks of his relationship with Kristin at various stages of his life dating back to childhood. This relationship will come into play as Brad witnesses the fight.

4.   My Little Sherry – Conner discussed his mental illness and how he experienced cruel and harrowing events. The idea was to elicit understanding and sympathy, adding further punch to the events that later unfolded.

5.   Summer of ’77 – Essentially one long backstory, kind of like the movie, “Titanic” Lol! An older woman finds an old pro wrestling magazine in her attic and has a flashback to an apartment house wrestling episode involving her friends in the 1970s. This is a different use of a backstory as the story opens near the ending.

6.   Little Miss Perfect (Catpin Chronicles) – Luanne explains how abuse and trauma led to her becoming an obsessive perfectionist. This is how backstory is used in novels, since it takes up an entire chapter.

Juxtaposition
This is a cool little trick where you can connect two parallel stories with a common phrase or an object that is present in both. I’ve seen this used in science fiction stories about two parallel words. Here, I tried using it to connect past and present. This is from “Goodnight, Snowflake”,

The producer taps on my door. My mind is still immersed in my memory of that fateful day nineteen years ago, “Marci, we’ll start in five minutes.  You OK?”  I tell him I’m fine.

Five minutes.  The contractions are coming every five minutes. And they last at least a minute each time. This hurts so much. I think it’s time. Got to get to the hospital. Oh God, the roads are blocked by the snow. The car is stuck. There’s a tap on the window. “Marci, this is Officer Jenkins.  We’re going to police escort the ambulance to get you to the hospital. You’re going to be fine.”


I look myself over one more time. I’m in my red bikini. The 34D breasts have dropped a little, but not so much you’d notice.  The muscle definition isn’t what it once was, but I’m still strong.  At 5’7” and 140 lbs, I still look good. With my light brown curly hair to my shoulders and green eyes, I can still turn heads. I look at my belly. A surgical scar runs vertically from just below my belly button to my pelvis. That’s from my hysterectomy. There’s no hiding it. Below the bikini line, I hide a second scar.

“Marci, we’ll need to do a Caesarean section. Your baby is in a breech position. We’ll make an incision on your belly. We think this is the safest approach for you and your baby.”

I’m starting to feel the prematch jitters. I resume stretching. Another knock at the door.

“Marci, it’s Bob.  I’m sorry. We forgot the waiver forms. You remember those, don’t you. Would you mind signing on the X.” He hands me forms stating I will not hold his company liable in event of injury or death.

“Marci, we have papers for you to sign. These are the Termination of Parental Rights documents. After you sign them, you will have relinquished all parental claims and responsibilities to the child. And then we can proceed and finalize the adoption.”

Internal Monologue aka Interior or Inner Monologue
I use this technique extensively in Kiva’s Fight Journal. It has much in common with a backstory. It is the thoughts inside the minds of characters. It works best in first-person narratives, but can be used in third-person stories. It gives the character a voice, expressing their thoughts, emotions, fears, etc. in their own words as thoughts in their mind.

The same rules of backstory apply. Make it interesting, relevant, and strategically insert it in the best place in your story for the best effect.

From “Travel Nurse” (not yet posted)

I struggle for what seems like the hundredth time to free may arms, before letting my muscles go limp again. My lungs suck in as much air as possible then exhale. I can’t move my legs. I don’t even feel them. I try to swallow, but can’t seem to generate enough saliva to satisfy my parched throat, as I tell myself that There is no cramp starting in my lower back. How long have I been trapped on the floor like this? I don’t know, but the shifting sunbeam on the wall tells me that the earth has shifted significantly since the last time I stood on my feet. I can’t move. There is nowhere to look, but up at the ceiling as I lie helpless under the gaze of the sympathetic retracted floodlight. My heart rate and respirations speed up. I know what this is. No, not now. This is not the time for a panic attack.

Years ago, I had a recurring nightmare. My car swerves off a road and tumbles down an embankment, landing upside down at the bottom of a ravine. I manage to squeeze myself out, but before I can get away, the car rolls one more time, pinning me on my back. I’m not crushed, but I can’t move. I stare at the road above me as countless cars go by, the drivers unaware of my predicament. I’m trapped and alone. This is awful. Somebody please find me. I’m going to die here.

“Help,” my throaty raspy voice barely manages to croak out.

“Kiva?” I hear Robin’s voice ask, perhaps with a touch of concern. “Are you giving up?”

That’s all for now. Next time, we’ll finally get to writing fight scenes. Please comment on what you think of backstories. Include your thoughts, tips, favorite stories, etc.

« Last Edit: May 06, 2024, 12:57:26 PM by Kiva »
Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend thirty seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.

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Offline Kiva

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Thanks for reading. Now who sent me flowers at work?  ???
Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend thirty seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.

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Offline sinclairfan

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Backstory, as a topic, if "the good stuff".  A creative, believable backstory makes a good story great.  And something the writer should approach mindfully.

But since we're talking fighting, I take a more direct approach to the topic:  at some point in the story, two women are going to fight.

<> Has either one ever been in a damn fight before?  It's possible, after all, for a woman to go thru her entire life without being in a physical fight.  Are these two such women?

<> Conversely, .... are both women about to resort to violence because they are fearless at it?  They've fought before, and are damn good at it.  Clearly, in their minds, they'll kick as yet again?

<> Bonus points:  have the women fought EACH OTHER before?  Is this a delicious rematch?

<> Has childhood/ motherhood/ caregiving forced a fight hiatus on one of the women?  How's she feeling about being back in the game?

<> What in the women's past/(s) has caused them to prefer one fight style over another?

<> Does either women have fight fantasies?  Sexual or otherwise.

<> Has watching catfight/(s) influenced the women's approach to fights?

Personal preference, these are not only NOT minutiae to me.  They're TABLE STAKES to appreciating a good fight.

These details are

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Offline coachzzz

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First, obviously your wonderful husband sent the flowers to you, right?   It was either (a) your birthday, (b) your wedding anniversary, or (c) some other day where he just wanted to say how much you mean to him. 

Now, getting back to the topic at hand, sinclairfan is absolutely right here.   If you are telling a story about a scenario where a fight happens, then the "why" of the story is of utmost importance.    For any story to have any impact beyond a random episode where two women run into each other and have a fight, there must be a reason for the fight, and there are layers beyond the obvious reasons why the fight happens and how it proceeds.  The trick is how to introduce the backstory.  Sinclairfan does a LOT of backstory in his work, and I am a very happy reader because of it.  But not every story can go for many pages, and trying to show enough backstory without bogging the story down is tough.   As you said, Kiva, "in a short story, word count is a premium."  When I have tried (and failed) to write these type of stories, I get bogged down in trying to convey exactly the scenario I have in my mind for the story, and it becomes too cumbersome and wordy as a result.  But if I say too little, I am not conveying the scenario I want to express to the reader. 

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Offline Kiva

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First, obviously your wonderful husband sent the flowers to you, right?   It was either (a) your birthday, (b) your wedding anniversary, or (c) some other day where he just wanted to say how much you mean to him. 

Yes, the flowers were from my husband for reason (c) above. I had this pic done as a thank you and a joke.

@coachzzz and @sinclairfan: those are excellent points. So far, my posts have been general and could apply to any story. Starting with the next post, we’ll specifically discuss fight stories. I often hear from writers that they have a clear idea of characters for a fight, but struggle with how to get them together and a reason for fighting that doesn’t seem forced. I’ll be looking forward to those discussions. I’m sure I can learn a lot.
Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend thirty seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.

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Offline Phoenix_Falcone

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Looking forward to the next part then if it's regarding how a fight comes about.  It's a fantastic topic, and really the crux of why we're all here in the first place!

But the topic at hand.  I think point 3 is the single most important part of any backstory discussion.  Exposition dump is the most frustrating part of any story (which I may or may not have been guilty of myself previously...).  A backstory needs to be a) relevant and b) focused on how it affects the current situation the characters are in.  Lets be honest here.  Most people are here for the fight itself, or at least that's my observation.  If they want exposition, they could always read a novel or watch a movie elsewhere.  But, a quality backstory can absolutely enhance a story and provide context around the fight.

However, in my opinion it can be overdone too.  A truly excellent story balances this.  Much like the conversation around character description, your readers don't need their hand held.  They can make connections, form their own opinions and fill in the blanks themselves.  In some writing genres, backstory actually can be detrimental, as it reveals too much information before the payoff.  One example of this in my opinion is in Star Wars, where Han Solo is a character who's roguish charm is actually enhanced by the fact that you know very little about his past, and what little information is revealed is unreliable anecdotes, drip fed throughout the trilogy.  Solo, the movie which detailed more of his backstory, really was not necessary and did nothing to add to what was already a well rounded character.  One could argue it detracted from the overall appeal of the character, especially when compared to Lando in that film.

That point about unreliable anecdotes is actually a great way to convey backstory though.  Take, for example, a character who is put on a pedestal as a hero or well respected and regarded person, but has character flaws.  Or a character who's past is sketchy and secretive.  Having a third party or close confidant to those characters tell stories about those characters based on recollections or memories that may not be 100% accurate can give an aura of mystery and intrigue around the character you're describing, or even highlight where a character is viewed incorrectly by their peers.

It can be an incredibly valuable tool, but also hard to master where, when and how much you should include.

As for internal monologues.  In my opinion they really should be confined to first person, or worst case a omnipresent narrator and sparingly at that.  This ultimately gets back to the topic of character interactions.  Why would Person A know what Person B is thinking?  Unless they are a mind reader or Person A told Person B directly, it's impossible.  Similarly, if you're watching a character from the eyes of "the audience" and the story is being narrated to you by a real person and not just a voice in the clouds, why would that narrator know what the character was thinking?

Think about it this way.  By extension, an internal monologue is basically the character explaining to themself what is happening or what they are thinking.  Do you ever do this in reality?  No.  I certainly don't.  Certainly not to the extent of revealing large swathes of information in a block.  Sure, there might be some narcissistic people who narrate their own life events in their head as they happen, but in the main I'd suggest those people are few and far between.  There are obviously examples of when it might make sense in a story, but in the main, it tends to rip me out of a story I'm reading, and I rarely use it in my storytelling.  This is another reason why writing in first person can be very difficult for some.

Note though, this is very different from a first person narrator.  That is not an internal monologue.  There's a difference between describing things to another person aka the audience, and describing things to yourself, where the audience has direct access into your mind.  Read what you write and consider who the information is directed to.

Thanks again Kiva for your excellent series!  As I said I definitely look forward to the next one!

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Offline sinclairfan

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I think something being overlooked here is that the (sometimes seemingly tedious) inclusion of the two fighters' isn't necessarily for the benefit of (or to the detriment of) THE READER.

It's super-relevent and vital to THE FIGHTERS themselves.

Since Sun T'zu, everyone has known the necessity of knowing your enemy.

If a woman senses a catfight building with a rival, she'll be wise to understand the Tale of the Tape of her opponent, and to compare it to her own.

Both women may have different assessment of her opponents' abilities.  AND of her own.

So there's always 4 Backstories being constructed, regardless of how many are captured in writing.

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Offline FyreCracka

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Excellent topic and discussion, Kiva and everyone else! I may be a little late to the conversation, but I think we all know that's never stopped me before. As you may or may not know, I write some pretty highly detailed backstories and biographies for my characters in Fyre's Fight Journal, but I don't often put much of it the actual stories. For me, I like to use them to make the characters more "authentic" feeling. As in I give them backstories to try and help me "see" through their eyes when it comes to how they act, what they say, etc.

  One of the fun things about doing a series is that you can trickle out those details over time. I do try to add more to each character with every appearance by them (I also started the Catpin Chronicles series to help do that too). I think it helps to give them layers and also gives the more dedicated readers extra information. Although, I do try to make sure that each chapter can stand on its own without the reader having read the previous chapters.

  As always, thanks Kiva, I do enjoy these posts since I am a pretty terrible writer from a technical standpoint. These topics definitely help me to learn and are very appreciated.

-K
Fyre: a 5' 5 1/2", 130lbs, 39 years old, blonde hair and brown eyed brawler.

If you're interested in being in a story feel free to contact us.

We are now on Trillian: Fyrecracka

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Offline sinclairfan

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Excellent topic and discussion, Kiva and everyone else! I may be a little late to the conversation, but I think we all know that's never stopped me before. As you may or may not know, I write some pretty highly detailed backstories and biographies for my characters in Fyre's Fight Journal, but I don't often put much of it the actual stories. For me, I like to use them to make the characters more "authentic" feeling. As in I give them backstories to try and help me "see" through their eyes when it comes to how they act, what they say, etc.

  One of the fun things about doing a series is that you can trickle out those details over time. I do try to add more to each character with every appearance by them (I also started the Catpin Chronicles series to help do that too). I think it helps to give them layers and also gives the more dedicated readers extra information. Although, I do try to make sure that each chapter can stand on its own without the reader having read the previous chapters.

  As always, thanks Kiva, I do enjoy these posts since I am a pretty terrible writer from a technical standpoint. These topics definitely help me to learn and are very appreciated.

-K

Timely contribution, FyreCracka, as I was literally just lamenting what a shame it was that this highly critical topic fizzled out so soon.  Hopefully you have resurrected it.

On your point about releasing pieces of backstory gradually and throughout the story:  while you generally do this effectively, if not done well, it can give the (poor) impression that George Lucas gave in the 1977-83 Star Wars trilogy that he was making it up as he was going along.

How do we know this?  Because in Episode IV, he has Princess Leia give Luke an uninhibited, long kiss on the mouth.  But then in Episode VI is revealing that Leia and Luke are twin brother-sister. 

Not very good foreshadowing.

So, in most instances, I like to put all the vital backstory cards on the table up front.

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Offline MikeHales67

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Yes but George Lucas never had a whole saga planned out. The episode 4 thing was a nod to the old Flash Gordon serials that Starwars was based upon.

If you wanna see it done right watch 'Babylon 5'.

There is also it's evil twin Fauxshadowing and of course Chekhov's Gun.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ChekhovsGun
« Last Edit: July 08, 2024, 02:33:28 PM by MikeHales67 »
Consciously Imcompetant.