I always thought it would be fun to have Sally visit the Catpin universe and see what she makes of it. So here she fights Amber and Tori from Kiva's fight journal and sets up her visit to
San Antonio where she may earn her Catpin.
This follows on from events here :
https://www.freecatfights.com/forums/index.php?topic=117846.msg763267#msg763267Sally 07 - Amber, Tori, The Busman's Holiday.
For those of you who don't live around these parts - a Busman’s holiday is a holiday or recreation involving doing the same thing that one does at work. First recorded in 1893 in the UK. The idea is that a busman, to go off on a holiday, would take an excursion by bus, thereby engaging in a similar activity to his work.
Okay, is that clear? Now on with the story.
This is the life. I was sitting on the beach in Ibiza with my girlfriends, Jane and Yvonne. No boyfriends, just us girls. Halfway through our Brat summer. Ibiza is the party capital of Europe. People come from all over the world to enjoy the vibes and party, I felt I should come here at least once in my life to say I had done it.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t that impressed. I found the music soulless, just machines. No saxophone, no guitar solos, no charismatic lead singers. Yeah, it’s probably good if you’re out of your skull, but the idea of getting out of your face on alcohol or drugs in the company of a load of strangers just screamed terrible idea. But the beach was lovely and the sun…
Look, I live in Manchester, we don't have much sun. And it's not often you get to sit outside without a waterproof. Here I'm wearing a skimpy red bikini, I couldn't do that in Manchester. I was trying to forget all the shit I'd left behind.
Coming back from the Trafford Centre, buying my outfits for this trip. I'd fought with Priya. The next day, everybody at the Gym noticed immediately what had happened, given our battle scars. Rumours flew. Eventually, Meg the owner of the Gym called us both in for a chat.
“Who started it?” Meg asked.
“I did” I admitted.
"And where did it happen? "
"On the Trafford Centre tram".
"And nobody stopped it?"
"Turns out the tram driver was a regular here".
"You were lucky you didn’t spend the night in the police cells". She leaned closer to us both.
"Look, I'm not irritated that you fought. I am however fuming that you didn't have it in front of a paying crowd". She smiled, I couldn't tell how serious she was.
"And it has caused trouble. Tracy is saying that it was you, Priya and your friends that beat Sally up"
"I didn't need help", Priya smirked.
"I know" Meg continued, "But she's saying she and her friends are going to sort 'your lot' out”. Meg was talking to Priya, but I interrupted.
"It was just Priya, and it was a fair fight” I would not let Tracy use me as a reason to provoke violence, this isn't Southport.
"Who's she got?" Priya asked.
"Mei and Ruby". Meg replied.
"I'll quite happily take on Tracy's girls any day".
"I think that can be arranged”, she looked pointedly at Priya, “in front of a paying audience".
To be honest I tuned out at that point, it was between Priya and Tracy, and it had nothing to do with me. I didn't give a shit. I was going on to Ibiza.
I was showing the girls the disappearing card trick. Sam got me into magic. He's more into the philosophical side of things, I'm more of a 'shut up and calculate' kind of gal. It's a simple trick, but dead effective.
Take some cards, around five or six. Some black, some red, some pictures. Tell the audience to pick a card, any card, and concentrate on it. Do this quickly so they don't get a chance to look at the other cards. Tell the audience you will make their card disappear. Put the cards behind your back and replace the cards with another set of cards: with similar colours. Show the cards and viola the card you were staring at has disappeared. So has all the other cards, but you didn’t notice that did ya?
This trick works because humans are shit at concentration, you know the card you picked, but you don't know all the other cards. That's how the human brain works. Limited concentration. You’ve seen the Gorilla trick? You watch people playing a ball and never notice a gorilla walking past. And this is the secret of magic, misdirection. Look at the bits I want you to look at and don't look at anything else. It’s a useful lesson to learn.
"U.S.A.!! U.S.A.!!"
Oh fuck.
Two girls, both brunettes. One short flat-chested shoulder-length hair, in a Blue high-cut one piece, the Poison Dwarf. The other; is a lot taller, more muscular, and has bigger tits, in, of course, a red Baywatch-style swimsuit. I later learned her name was Tory, who the fuck calls their kids after a highly unpopular political party? Henceforth known as the Baywatch Babe.
They were both loud fucking yanks. Now let me explain. Americans are some of the nicest people in the world, generous, and warm-hearted, I know this ‘cos my cousin June is marrying one of them next month and Carl her fiancé is dead cool, he's a fellow physicist who works for NASA. He promised to show me around where he works and let me indulge my Thunderbird fantasies when we go over for the wedding. Which I can now afford to do because of the money that I've made fighting.
So, there are Americans and then there are the Yanks. Oh boy. They're the loud, obnoxious U.S.A, U.S.A. types. You know the type I mean. You can spot and hear them a mile off. These were six feet away.
The two girls were partying on a blanket a couple of Australian girls left, listening to really loud crap, rap music. Well, when I say the Australians left the blanket, I mean they turned their backs for two minutes.
“Excuse me I think you’ve taken our place, that's our blanket you're dancing on”. Lucy one of the Australians stepped forward.
The Poison Dwarf turned to look at her.
“You’re Australian, aren’t you?”
“Yes”, Lucy replied.
“Oooh, I’ve always wanted to go to Australia. But about having a criminal record?”
“What?”, Lucy looked puzzled.
“Do you still have to have one?”
Without warning, Amber punched straight at the Aussie’s face. Lucy staggered back, falling to her knees, gasping, blood gushing from her nose. Amber just stood back admiring her handiwork, smiling at her sister and wiping her hands.
“Next? Who else wants our place?” she said as she looked around challenging all-comers.
Fucking bully. The thing is with bullies if you let them get away with it, they keep pushing and pushing. Before my transformation into the catfight Queen of Manchester. I woulda just looked at the floor. Now...
I stepped forward; my friends moved to stop me; I just shrugged them off as I handed Yvonne my glasses. This was my time to show them my very particular set of skills…
“I guess judging by the way you blindsided that Sheila, you’re overcompensating for your lack of tits!”. I shouted out. That ought to get her attention.
The crowd that was starting to gather all went “Oooh!”.
Amber angrily turned to face me. Yep hit a nerve there.
“Oh, it's a Limey from LimeyStan!”.
I respond with a smile, gesturing with my hands.
"At least I can afford the medical bills for the beating I'm gonna give ya".
"I'm going to beat your Socialist arse".
"Oh, you can try"
I hear Baywatch babe call out
"Fuck her up good, Amber".
"I got this sis". She replies. They're sisters? No fucking way.
I smile at my friends.
“Smoke me a kipper I’ll be back for breakfast after I deal with the Poison dwarf”. I knew I could sort this little shit out, after all, she was dealing with a professional Cat fighter. I'd show the bully the error of her ways. I turned to face the poison dwarf.
The crowd formed a circle around us. They are all excited, expectant, awaiting the violence to come.
“Okay my little slimy sceptic, let’s dance”. I gestured with my hands for Amber to come to me for her beating.
“I’m coming, Limey. What's your name?” Amber growled back.
"Sally" I answer back.
The Poison Dwarf starts doing a stupid dance and singing,
“Sally, Sally, biggest loser in town
I'll beat you up and throw you down
I'll make you cry, you'll feel my spit
I'll leave you lying, like a piece of shit”.
Oh fuck. I think she's one of those bloody fucking cheerleaders you see in movies. They are a real thing, wow.
In the crowd, I heard Jane asking, “What’s a Sceptic?”.
“It’s Cockney Rhyming slang. Sceptic Tank, Yank”. Yvonne replied.
“What’s a Sceptic Tank?”
“Google it” Yvonne replied. Jane tapped on her phone. Strangely enough, she seemed revolted by the results.
“It’s a tank full of sh…”.
“Yuck!”.
Meanwhile, me and the Dwarf are both crouching, circling, shooting with hands for each other.
"Is that all you got Limey?"
" No! "
I shoot a slap across her face; it makes a loud smacking sound, she staggers back holding her cheek where I marked it bright red. Vengeful, she tries to slap back. I block her. I'm ready to fire my next slap. I'm gonna show this bully some mann-
Fuck!
I'm lying on my back looking up at the grinning little turd who grabbed my right leg and then threw it up in the air. She comes down on me with an elbow to my stomach. I cry out. Then she bends my leg, so my foot touches my face. My tendons scream in pain and so do fucking I!
She reaches over and rips off my bikini top. The Dwarf's going for humiliation not the win. Stupid. She expected me to cry in embarrassment, but this wasn't the first time I'd been naked in public. But normally I do expect a huge cheer when my tits are unveiled.
My right fist smashes into her nose. She screams. Falling onto her back.
I kick out with my right foot, into her belly, making a satisfying slap.
She backs off. I try to rise. I managed it on the second attempt. Fucking little turd.
She gives out a yelp and cartwheels in front of me on her hands. I’m looking at her feet, then she kicks me straight in the face. I try to stagger back, but her feet are around my neck. Then she bends, and I’m thrown into the sand. She is on her feet, standing now, laughing.
“Aw, poor little Limey”. She crows. Showing off to her ‘sister’ who’s cock-a-hoop.
Angrily, I get up, wiping the blood and sand from my face. The Dwarf is still posing for the audience, making a big show about how she’s giving me plenty of time to get up, gesturing at me to rise. So, I take the time to prepare to give the little dwarf her pounding. I stand to face her, and I have sand in my hand. As I fling it at the dwarf, I put my head down, diving into her belly. She gasps, bending over straight into my uppercut which straightens her up.
She kicks out with her right strong muscled leg, straight into my belly. I gasp, holding my stomach. She grabs my hair, swinging me round and round. I'm stumbling, trying to keep up. Then she lets go. I go flying, crash landing on my front. Quick as a flash her knee's on my back and she pulls on my hair. My neck feels like it's gonna snap. I scream again.
With her other hand, she starts rubbing sand into my face.
"Eat it bitch!", she commands.
I’m blinded and spluttering trying to get the sand out of my mouth. She's fast and not the pushover I thought she'd be. The thought comes into my head that I may have bitten off more than I can chew. No, I'm not losing again, not in front of my friends.
I struggle, I twist, I squirm, no joy. I fire back my elbows. That gets a grunt. I fire back again, another grunt of pain. The third time I fire my elbow, I yank her hair with my other hand. Some strands come out. I twist around so I'm facing the turd now and I swing. My right fist hits her breast like I'm trying to drive it through her rib cage.
She cries out but doesn't fold. She grabs my right arm before I withdraw it, stretching it out like a bar and lying on her back, pushes her feet into my body. She twists my arm and stamps her foot in my face.
"You fucking bitch!" I scream out as her heel thuds into the side of my face.
"I'm gonna give you a good ole Texas whup-ass!" she boasts.
I see the shit-eating grin the turd has as she pummels my head. I feel my bared breasts jiggle helplessly, with each kick. I plan what I'm gonna do to wipe that grin off her face when I get free.
I start twisting, my left shoulder rising. It's a little higher each time. Eventually, I rotate my body, and my left fist swings in an arc as it buries itself in her breadbasket. She lets go as her body jackknifes, spraying spittle. I roll away from her as she rises to her knees, her turn to clutch her belly.
We are both kneeling on the sand, facing each other. She telegraphs an axe-handle which she swings at my face. I lean back, her joined-together hands whizz harmlessly past my face. My turn. I reach out and grab her swimsuit straps, pulling her face into the top of my head. I hear the scream and see the blood dripping from her nose. We fought by your rules bitch, now we fight by mine.
While she’s still dripping blood, I transfer my grip on her straps to one hand and then pull her into a punch with my other hand. I put my whole body behind the blow, it smashes into her face with a loud thwack. She's stunned.
When I pull her in for a sock to her jaw. Her eyes are going glassy.
I pull her in for a third time. My fist mashes her face with a wet smacking sound. As she falls back, the strap I'm holding her up with snaps, revealing her pimples and little pea-sized nipples. Nothing much to see here. She falls moaning back into the sand.
"Stop please!" she whimpers. Exhausted I stand up. I'm panting, my sweaty body is covered in sand. I need a shower. I walk towards my friends, their look of joy is suddenly replaced with alarm.
"Sally!", Jane calls out.
"Get her Amber!" I hear her 'sister' call.
The next thing I know I’m bent over with the Dwarf sitting on my back, piggybacking me. The pain shoots up my arm as she pulls it behind my back.
"Shit!"
I try to struggle. But the little turd persists, wrapping an arm around my chin. A choke. I fight back the panic, tuck my chin down, and try to resist. But her arm is worming its way in. The pain in my arm is unbearable. Fuck I'm caught. I found out later that it's called a chicken wing. She crows about how she’s going to choke me out. She has her whole victory parade planned out. She starts singing another fucking tune.
“Sally, Sally
Drops her knickers
In the back alley”.
A mental image pops into my brain of me lying on my back, legs open, panties around my legs, helpless. I’m getting finger-fucked on the beach by that little turd, in front of the crowd, all my friends. No! I fight back the panic, and I go into problem-solving mode.
I can feel my vision going blurry as I bang my head back, trying to hit hers. She dodges out of the way, laughing.
She was so busy avoiding my head, that she didn't notice that I was standing up fully erect. With the turd still hanging on my back. I fall, arms out, backwards like a tombstone, and she hits the sand with her head, me on top. The sand billows out all around us as I slam my head back and I hit something hard, I hear a scream. Good. Her scissors and arms release. With my free hand, I form a fist and slam it down between my legs and into her crotch. Her screams get hysterical. Fucking ‘A’!
Unsteadily I get up, coughing my guts out. I’m standing over the Poison Dwarf, she's on her back. Stay down. If she gets up again I'm gonna-
"Shit!"
Throwing her legs up, she locks them around my waist and squeezes with those strong legs. Fuck, she's gonna break me in two. Instinctively I try to force her legs off me. She smiles.
"Gotcha limey"
Some might say she's brave and determined. Not me. I say she's just an annoying turd, who doesn't know when she should be flushed away. I just wanted to show my friends my fighting skills. I never expected this! My lungs feel crushed, I struggle to breathe. Little black spots cloud my vision.
Her sister (sister, you've got to be kidding right?), starts cheering. Everyone else was looking glum.
No, I'm not gonna let it end this way. I bend over and grab her tits. My fingers dig in, gouging the flesh and leaning back I pull her off the ground by them. My, how they stretch. A couple of girls in the audience groan. She screams. I move my hands out away from my body, taking her tits with them. They're like an elastic band stretched to the breaking point. I bet nobody's ever bothered to attack her tits before. Why bother? Well, they may not have the same mass, but they've still got the same number of nerve endings as everybody else. Judging by the look of agony on her face, I'm right. I bob her by the tits, up and down, up and down. My fingers claw into her tender flesh as her likkle tits stretch so far.
I'm staring straight into the tear-filled bitch's eyes, my teeth bared in a feral snarl.
"Not so Gobby now, you little turd" I growl.
She's sobbing as her legs loosen around my waist, she's finished but I'm not. I fall forwards, slamming her back into the sand pushing on those titties with my wrists like I'm trying to drive them through her chest. I press her nipples extra hard, with my thumbs to see if I can invert them.
She wasn't doing much of anything now, just sobbing. The look on the turd's 'sister's' face is priceless. I stand up, looking down at the little turd. She's just rocking to and fro, holding her man-boobs and sobbing.
I didn’t know any of the shitty cheerleader songs, so I start chanting a traditional English folk song.
“You’re going home in a fucking ambulance,
Everybody.
You're going home in a fucking ambulance",
The whole crowd joins in, even Lucy holding her bloodied nose. I'm touched, I guess nobody liked those two.
As the last line fades away a tiny voice comes out.
“I submit”. She squeaks.
"You said submit, You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means". I reply, shame I can't do the Spanish accent.
I twist her nipples like I was adjusting the volume. Can you pop a nipple? However, Ms. Tiny-tits didn't seem to appreciate science experiment time.
"Please I mean it!"
I kept twisting.
"Are you begging?"
"Yes, please I submit, I'm begging...please".
I release my pincers and let her drop.
"Good girl"
She'd begged, I'd broken her. Now just to make sure. I sit down on her stomach, my knees holding down her arms. I’m not saying I don't trust her but...
Also, I'm a vengeful bitch.
"So, what’s the metal you put around a window?" I ask.
"A-loo-min-um", she says through sobs.
"Wrong" I smack her face hard.
"Try again" I smack her again.
"A-loo-min-um," she says puzzlement creeping into her voice.
"Wrong!", Slap!
"Wrong!", Slap!
"Wrong!", Slap!
I’ve just slapped the shit out of her face. She certainly looks like he's been in the sun too long, I grab her face in my hand and squeeze.
"No, listen carefully..."
"Al..." I twist her head to the right.
"You.." I twist her head to the left.
"Min..." My forehand smashes into her face, it snaps to the side.
"ium..." My backhand sends her head the other way.
"Come on..." gentle slap.
"Al-you-min-ium, Al-you-min-ium, Al-you-min-ium" She blubbers out.
I rise and kick her in the stomach.
"There that wasn't hard, It’s Aluminium. Next time, speak English you stupid fucking Yank!"
Sorry, Carl, it's tarring you nice Americans with the same ugly brush. I don’t like using that kind of racist language, who gives a fuck how you say aluminium? Maybe I should have beaten her up over the stupid ‘month-date-year’ time format they use. Doesn’t matter. This was about humiliating her. Plus, I owe her.
Her blubbering has now escalated to hysterical sobs. She's not gonna attack me from behind again. Her big sister puts down the phone and rushes over to comfort her.
Suddenly Jane calls out:
“Oh, Sally you’re so fine.
You’re so fine,
you blow my mind.
Hey Sally
Hey Sally.”
Must admit I’d forgotten that one. I do know a cheerleader song after all.
With the crowd all singing that song. I walked off on unsteady legs, hoping I could make it to my friends without falling over. Baywatch-babe is cradling her sister, more concerned with her than me. Inwardly I breathed a sigh of relief. If that was little sister, I really didn't want to tangle with big sister. I'm chastened. I went into this fight too cocky, I seriously underestimated her. Stupid.
Jane looks me over as she hands me a blanket to cover myself up with. Despite nearly being choked out, there's not that many marks. The Dwarf looks pretty fucked up, shame that.
"Wow, Sal, that was savage! Is that what you learned with that MMA thing you do? "
"Yeah, and sometimes the fights are tough!" I was trying to act casual, not give away how much the turd had hurt me. Yvonne just seemed relieved I was still alive, but Jane didn't buy it, she looked
concerned.
"You okay?"
"Yep, I'll get myself looked over, there'll be some medical at the hotel, I got my EHIC and Travel Insurance".
“What about the yank?”Jane asked. I had done a number on her.
“She's got her own health insurance". Though strangely enough I really didn't give a shit.
I got back to our hotel room and had a nice relaxing shower. It was over, so I thought.
I was wrong.
On the last day, Me and Jane were returning from the boat ride to Es Vedra, a legendary rock. Never heard of it? It’s said to be the setting of Homer's sirens in The Odyssey. Yeah, that's the kind of nerd I am. Go to the party capital of Europe, visit a few rocks, and take in some history. Yvonne was nursing a hangover so not unreasonably had said 'Fuck that!'. So, me and Jane went.
As we came back, we went up the stairs to the apartment where we were staying. It's just a normal holiday hotel, built on a square. Stairs on the corners, rooms with windows overlooking the swimming pool and bar, with a walkway on the inside.
We got to our floor and there she was. Baywatch Babe, standing in front of me, hands on her hips. Behind her, the Poison Dwarf, with her mobile phone, looking a bit worse for wear but still cackling. I'm fucked. Even if I beat Baywatch Babe, I'll still have the Poison Dwarf to deal with. My mind whirls looking for a Plan A, realising that Plan B is pleading for mercy while getting the shit beaten out of me.
I turned to Jane.
"Go to our room and lock the doors, I'll see you later".
I turned to Baywatch Babe,
"She's not part of this, leave her be. Your quarrel's with me"
Jane reluctantly walked past the gruesome twosome. As she walked past, Baywatch called out to her,
"Room 311. See you later, sweet cheeks!"
She turned back to face me; we were standing like gunslingers about to draw. I could hear the Ennio Morricone soundtrack.
"It took a while to figure out where you were staying, Limey…".
"…I'm going to pay you back for what you did to my sister. You fuck with her, you fuck with me".
"So, you've come for a beating as well". I sounded brave, but I was scared, she's bigger than me, older than me, and a lot more muscular than me. I clench and unclench my hands, getting them ready.
She was studying me, trying to figure out which hand I'm gonna use. She was gonna block my blow, then hammer my belly or face or both. Then while I'm stunned beat the shit out of me. That's what I would do.
My right hand twitched, she saw it.
Concentrate on your card.
And didn't see the kick I launched straight into her twat with all my might, I saw her brain short-circuiting, her mouth opened, closed, opened, closed. Then with this very unpleasing, sneezing and wheezing, the calliope crashed to the ground as Manfred Mann said.
Giving her no time to come to her senses, I pulled her head into my body and delivered a knee to her left tit, and right tit. It felt like I was kicking an airbag.
Then a knee to her forehead. She flipped, landing on her back, stunned.
Before she had time to get up. My foot was on her throat. Her eyes fluttered open, she started twitching.
"Don't!" I commanded. She stopped twitching. Not very sporting I know, but I was scared.
Poison Dwarf had dropped her phone, she was crying. I stared straight at her.
"Give me your clothes!"
"Wha..."
"...What?"
"Give me your clothes…"
I started moving my sandaled foot over Tory's throat ever so slowly. No, I wouldn't have crushed her throat. I don't want to spend time in a Spanish jail. I've seen 'Midnight Express'. But for me to get out of this without the crap being beaten out of me, they had to believe I would.
"…fucking now!"
Trembling she unhooked the straps of her one piece, then slowly reached down and pulled off the rest of it. She was naked, one arm covering her breasts, not much to cover, the other arm covering her crotch, more to cover up. Shoulda shaved, little turd.
I looked down at her gasping big sister.
"You too, little sugar plum".
Shortly, I have two naked girls standing in front of me. I picked up their swimwear and threw them over the balcony into the swimming pool three floors down below. Oh, the swimming pool next to the bar where everyone is drinking, yes, that pool. They had a choice, get your clothes before someone else fishes it out of the pool, and don't walk back to your hotel naked or stay and beat me up. Tough choice. Tough titties.
"Good night girls…" I said with finality.
“…If I run into you again” I won't take it so easy on you".
I turned my back on them, listening for footsteps coming up behind me, just in case they decided to double-team me instead of getting their clothes. With a sigh of relief, I heard them running downstairs to the pool. Then I heard the wolf whistles and the laughter. I leaned over the balcony and took a couple of snaps for my photo album.
And that was the end of them.
A couple of days later, when I get home, I get a WhatsApp message from an Indian Lady.
I've just seen your uploaded fights with Amber and Tori.
I was really impressed by the beatings you gave to those two little twats. I've had run-ins with them myself. They deserved everything they got.
It took a while to track you down, but I eventually found your friend's posts on Instagram.
If you're ever in Texas, Luanne and I would like to buy you a drink.
Regards Kiva. Huh? Looks like I have more fans.
How did she see a video of my fights? Uploaded to what? Is that what the gruesome twosome were doing, filming? Why? For whom?
I feel like I’ve walked in halfway through someone else’s story.
It occurred to me I was going to go to San Antone, Texas, for my cousin's wedding, so I'm in the neighbourhood. She can't be far away, we're in the same state after all. I can pop over and see her, collect my free drink and she can tell me all about it. I'm sure that this Kiva has got some interesting stories to tell.
