[Glamour Fights]

Click here for current standings and won/loss records

All the fighters are ready to start the New Year off right with a victory. They wish you all

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

This is a small change in the rules this time. A submission or a pin is not enough for the win. The winner must also make the loser loudly proclaim that the winner is a better  and sexier woman than her

Loni Anderson	Farrah Fawcett
24 years old	22 years old
5'5” 120 lbs BMI: 20.0	5'5'½” 113 lbs BMI: 18.6
38E-25-36	33½B-22-33
12th 38pts 18-8-2	21st 22pts 11-17-0

Coming off her absolute demolishing of Goldie Hawn Farrah is full of confidence. Loni is also feeling confident having beaten Suzanne Somers who she considers much tougher than Goldie. Loni is looking to move ahead of Luciana Paluzzi whilst Farrah is looking to move ahead of Adrienne Barbeau and possibly Suzanne Somers. Loni thrusts out her chest compared to Farrah’s much smaller one but Farrah just scratches her head in amusement.
Loni Anderson: Farrah may be tougher than the other Angel, Jaclyn, and Goldie. But beating the weakest woman up doesn’t count for a whole lot. Farrah will quickly find out she is one of the weakest women in this tournament and no match for me.
Farrah Fawcett: Loni won’t be bragging so much when my knuckles beat her bit tits black and blue. They are perfect targets for both my fists and my feet.

Martine Beswick	Adrienne Barbeau
28 years old	24 years old
5'5” 128 lbs BMI: 21.3	5'3½” 120 lbs BMI: 21.0
35B-25-37	34DD-22-35
13th 32pts 16-12-0	20th 23pts 11-16-1

Martine surprises a yawn as she sits on her boat dreaming how she is doing to make Swamp Woman, Adrienne, get covered with swamp grass as she drowns her. Adrienne seems to be protecting her left breasts as she knows how much Martine loves to claw at breasts.
Martine Beswick: This fight will be even easier than my fight against Stefanie Powers. Adrienne maybe stronger than Stefanie but she is slower and more clumsy. Ugh! I have to bury her in that filthy swamp water where she belongs.
Adrienne Barbeau: Glad to see Martine is so cocky. I beat Pam Grier who has proven tougher than Martine. In addition, the fight is in my camp – the swamp. Martine will be eating dirty swamp water and plants..

Elke Sommer	Jill St. John
29 years old	29 years old
5'7" 125 lbs BMI: 19.6	5'6” 118 lbs BMI: 19.1
36B-22-36	36C-22-35
1st 54pts 27-1-0	3rd 50pts 25-3-0

A very important fight as the tournament rapidly approaches the end. Elke is in first and plans on staying there. She cannot slip up as Ann-Margret is hot on her sexy tail. Jill is third place with three losses. She has to win all her fights from here on out if she stands any chances of winning the title. Elke has proven very tough. She won a very tough fight against Linda Evans but coasted to victory against Annette Funicello albeit expended lots of energy in trying for the worst beat down. Jill had a tough fight with the fighter with the biggest fan base, Raquel Welch. She took a lot of punishment at first and worked hard to come back. Then she worked hard in a see-saw battle before winning. Still Jill has proven she can stay with the best of them and so this could be a very intense, hard fought battle. Both fighters look very serious.
Elke Sommer: I guess I am like everyone else and can’t figure out how such a cream puff looking soft redhead has done so well. There has to be more than meets the eye so I am taking her seriously. I am coming out very aggressively to take her out quickly. The difference between Raquel and me is that I know how to reel someone in once  I have them impaled on the hook.
Jill St. John: I know I am the underdog against Elke as far as the experts are concerned. I don’t worry what people say I just do out and do the best I know how. Elke has some weak spots that I will exploit. It will be a long, hard fight, now a quickly as Eke brags. Elke will find out like others have that I am not so soft only it will be too late for her.

Sherry Jackson	Dian Parkinson
27 years old	25 years old
5'4” 120 lbs BMI: 20.6	5'7" 128 lbs BMI: 20.1
36C-22-35	37D-23-37
28th 8pts 4-24-0	15th 28pts 14-14-0

Dina has decided to fight nude. My guess is to intimidate Sherry with her bigger body and bigger breasts. Sherry is standing on her tiptoes trying to look taller. But Sherry looks confident, maybe more so than Dian does who seems to be hugging the wall.
Sherry Jackson: Watch while I dick her fat ass all over the place and pounds her fat tits into mush. Dian can’t take a punch as I have seen from her other fights. She is big but will fall like a rotten tree.
Dian Parkinson: Big talk from a little shrimp like Sherry. She cant’ hit hard enough to squash a fly so I am not worry at all. Let her hit me, she will get frustrated when it doesn’t phase me. Then I will pound her into submission. It will be her perky little ass that is booted all over the place.

Linda Evans	Sybil Danning
27 years old	22 years old
5'8” 125 lbs BMI: 19.0	5'7” 120 lbs BMI: 18.8
34C-24-34	36C-24-36
5th 46pts 23-5-0	4th 48pts 24-4-0

Linda seems clearly to be the stronger one to me, her shoulders in the photo are impressive. I think she is also the more athletic. As far as being nasty and dirty Linda can’t compare to Sybil who makes that her trademark. Stronger women than Linda cower at Sybil’s ferociousness. But Linda doesn’t cower and Sybil doesn’t back down from a fight. This will probably be one of the dirtiest fights this time as any fight involving Sybil has that chance. Linda is hoping to overpower Sybil quickly as she is coming off a hard fight with Senta Berger that was extended even longer by interference from fans. Sybil had a walk in park against Victoria Principal and is much more rested. A quick fight favors Linda, a long struggle favors Sybil. Linda is in 5th place and Sybil is in 4th place. If Linda beats her they will have the same won/loss/tied record but Sybil will have the better vote difference.
Linda Evans: I am not worried about Sybil’s dirty tricks and her claws. I will tie her arms up in knots behind her back and maybe even sprain or dislocate them. I will whip her around by the hair like a rag doll.
Sybil Danning: I’ve seen women like Linda. They are tough until someone really goes after their hair, their face, and their breasts. Why Linda even has trouble with a pussycat like Joan Collins. No way she can stand up to a real bitch like me who will tear her apart, literally.

Luciana Paluzzi	Diane McBain
32 years old	18 years old
5'5" 122 lbs BMI: 20.3	5'7" 118 lbs BMI: 18.5
36C-24-36	35C-23-34
11th 39pts 19-8-1	15th 28pts 14-14-0

Another super fight is shaping up on the card. Two good fighters square off: a hot tempered, fiery, dark haired Italian facing an equally hot-tempered, fiery blonde who is probably a dirtier fighter. They are already facing off and the trash talking is serious. It is also a battle between age and experience against youthful exuberance.  Luciana had to expend a lot of energy throughout her entire fight in order to barely beat Joey Heatherton. Diane took it on the chin from Ann-Margret. She is also hoping mad about losing to Suzanne Somers before that. So look for Diane to be her meanest and nastiest to go against the  physically superior Luciana. I predict an even fight down to the wire.
Luciana Paluzzi: You fucking blonde phony… You are still wet behind the ears… I am going to teach you a lesson you won’t forget….. You are going to be bawling and begging me to stop….. If you weren’t so skinny I would turn you into a sex toy but you’re too ugly for that…..
Diane McBain: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard all this crap before about experience and being taught a lesson…. You’re an old hag with droopy tits and a droopy ass…. Which I will kick by the way…..I’ve had more fight than you, I’m sure so it’s you who will learn a lesson…. That is if an old bitch like you can learn new tricks…. Just wearing a shirt and nothing else?  That will make it quicker to your pussy…. You will be my sex slave …..

Tuesday Weld	Nancy Kwan
26 years old	30 years old
5'4” 112 lbs BMI: 19.3	5'3” 110 lbs BMI: 19.5
32B-21-33	33B-22-35
18th 25pts 12-15-1	31st 5pts 2-25-1

I am not sure what to make of this fight. Nancy is one of the few fighters lighter (by only 2 pounds) and shorter (by an inch) than Tuesday. Tuesday is coming off a victory albeit a tough fight against the taller Sharon Tate. Nancy Kwan lost badly to another light weight blonde, Britt Ekland. That would appear to favor Tuesday. But Nancy has martial arts skills that Tuesday is not familiar with. Perhaps Tuesday’s short stature will make it easier for Nancy to toss her around. We shall see. I love a good sofa fight.
Tuesday Weld: Nancy’s martial arts skills will be useless when I pin her on sofa and keep her there. I will let her up long enough only to grab that long braid and fling her around and back onto the sofa. Nancy doesn’t have the slightest idea how to catfight.
Nancy Kwan: Tuesday is making me angry. I can still throw karate chops on the sofa. A few to her fat nick and she won’t be so confident. Wait until I am on her back and pulling all her hair out. Then we shall see who is the better catfighter, won’t we!

Goldie Hawn	Suzanne Somers
24 years old	23 years old
5'5" 118 lbs BMI: 19.7	5'5½” 118 lbs BMI: 19.4
34B-24-36	35C-23-34
32nd 3pts 1-26-1	29th 6pts 3-25-0

Both Goldie and Suzanne seem to be resting after getting beaten in their last fights. Suzanne lost badly to Loni Anderson but Goldie was almost sent to the hospital by Farrah Fawcett. Is Suzanne relaxing too much and too overconfident? I think I see some evil planning in Goldie’s eyes.
Goldie Hawn: Me? Plan something evil? How could you say that about me Glamour Fights? Suzanne ahs those tree trunk thunder thighs but I have the more powerful arms. I will twist her arms off before she can get near me with her legs.
Suzanne Somers: Don’t worry, Glamour Fights, I am not over confidence. It is just good to relax and recuperate after my last fight. Goldie is in last place and will stay there when I am done ripping her apart. If Farrah can do that to her then she had better call the paramedics right now.

[Vassago]

Before I post the next round of my 1970s poll, here are the thoughts over my friend's Glamour Fights' contest 

Loni Anderson vs Farrah Fawcett
With all respect to Charlie's Angels, Loni is no Goldie Hawn and Farrah doesn't stand a chance for a similar victory. Loni quickly smothers Farrah on the ground and pins her into submission for one of the most comfortable wins of the entire round.

Martine Beswick vs Adrienne Barbeau
Swamp conditions or not, Adrienne is much stronger then Martine and beating Pam Grier is only a small indication of that. Adrienne outmuscles her brunette rival and takes her down before rolling Martine on her stomach and sitting on her back. There's little that Martine can do after that and Adrienne buries her head in the swamp as Martine chokes out her submission.

Elke Sommer vs Jill St. John
The German blonde surely tops the flexibility and perhaps even the wrestling skills departement but the problem is, Jill is much stronger which she showed by defeating the equally skillful as Elke, Raquel Welch. I don't think Elke has the core strenght to smother the redhead and cause her any more damage with some nasty tricks. Instead, I believe Jill punches the stuffing out of Elke and leaves her a battered mess on the floor. Bit of a long shot but Jill has emerged as the real spoiler between Ann Margaret and Elke for the overall title and I think she's on her way into a winning finish in the last three fights.

Sherry Jackson vs Dian Parkinson
A short fight in prospect as Dian doesn't even lose a single of her high heels before kicking the brains out of Sherry, who would barely last a couple of minutes against Dian. The blonde would quickly outmuscle her and forced on the ground where she can jump on Sherry's chest like on a water bed and Sherry would have had enough quickly. Dian could well stand a victorious pose after the fight placing one of her heels on the brunette's battered body.

Linda Evans vs Sybil Danning
More competitive fight on hand, but Sybil shold have little trouble with tossing Linda around. Generally, the future Dynasty star has been somewhat of an overachiever for me in this competition and would not handle the Austrian's blows and sharp nails en route getting torn apart. It would be interesting how would Sybil match with another Austrian blonde, Susan Denberg who is doing quite well in my 70s poll. Also it's worth noticing she had a catfight with Heather Thomas during one of Fall Guy episodes as well, so there's one experienced tough blonde out there! Linda's catfights with Joan Collins must play second fiddle especially considering Joan ends up way down the bottom in the 50s poll.

Luciana Paluzzi vs Diane McBain
Here is one woman who I think should have taken Linda's place among Top 10 and that's Luciana Paluzzi. Diane McBain has also done reasonably well probably thanks to some huge determination and spirit that enabled her to make amends for physical downsize. Anyway, once Luciana's nails starts messing up Diane's face, it's a done deal and the Italian just kicks the blonde into a bloody mess in a vicious display of fury. That's probabaly a bit harsh on Diane who doesn't really deserve such a rough treatment but Luciana would be the last person feeling any sympathy in this field, probably only matches by Pam Grier and Martine Beswick.

Tuesday Weld vs Nancy Kwan
Another innocent looking blonde, Tuesday Weld matches Diane McBain in my private rankings in terms of exceeding the expectations given the rather slender bodyshape. This time she challenges a much easier opponent then Diane, and quite frankly Nancy Kwan's judo techniques caused even less trouble then Diana Rigg in the 50s poll. Tuesday has won quite a few fights and is more then comfortable with her wrestling skills then earlier on. The fact she defeated Sharon Tate and Nancy got whooped by Britt Ekland whom I consider weaker then Tuesday and Sharon, makes this one an easy pick. Tuesday should outsmuscle Nancy and lay her flat on the ground before securing a win thanks to a grapevine pin.

Goldie Hawn vs Suzanne Somers
Looks like there is a quarter-combo happening in the schedule as both Goldie's and Suzanne's previous rivals met in this round before. Goldie has firmly emerged as everyone's punchbag, quite a bad achievement considering Sherry Jackson and Stefanie Powers also being on the very weak side. This fight won't last more then a couple of minutes and Suzanne doesn't even need any extra rest after her previous contest as she knocks out Goldie with some solid punches that send Goldie on her knees in no time.

[byline]

I finally found these polls on page 5. It is a shame that such great polls with so much work put into them get shoved down so far by a plethora of polls with little or no work. It is a shame that more people don’t comment. I guess we all have our interests.

Loni Anderson beats Farrah Fawcett
Farrah Fawcett manages to knock Loni Anderson off her pins using techniques she learned for “Charlie’s Angels”. It does her little good. Once on the ground they bury hands in hair and roll back and forth trying to get on top. A bad position for Farrah for once Loni is able to get her breasts over Farrah’s face Farrah is smothered out cold.

Martine Beswick beats Adrienne Barbeau
Martine Beswick  is looking for another worst beat down. Adrienne Barbeau tries to follow Loni’s example and get Martine’s face buried under her size DD tits. This is what keeps Martine from getting the biggest beat down. Still she is too strong for Adrienne and puts Adrienne on her stomach. They she finishes her off with a cobra clutch while ripping her hair out.

Elke Sommer beaten by Jill St. John
I was going to call this an upset but I see Vasago agrees with me. I also agree that Jill St. John punches the stuffing out of Elke Sommer. Elke is expecting the dainty looking Jill to come out and wrestle with her, something Elke knows she is superior at.  Instead Jill hauls off and hits Elke with a left-right combo that puts Elke on her ass. Jill continues to hit Elke while she is down. She doesn’t want to let Elke back in the fight. Love the lingerie Jill is wearing and Elke’s peek-a-boo dress. Would like to see Jill wrap up Elke in her own dress like a fish net.

Sherry Jackson beaten by Dian Parkinson
Dian Parkinson starts out nude. In less than a minute she has stripped Sherry Jackson of her conservative bathing suit. The bigger Dian toys with Sherry until she has Sherry tied up in knots.

Linda Evans beats Sybil Danning
Sybil Danning tries to scratch Linda Evans’ eyes out. Linda is too strong for her. A long fight takes place with Linda barely protecting her eyes. She manages to trap Sybil’s flaying arms in an armlock and forces her to submit or get it broken.

Luciana Paluzzi beats Diane McBain
Diane McBain tries to match Sybil Danning’s ferocity and dirty tricks. Luciana Paluzzi will have none of it. She tosses Diane around by her blonde hair and shows Diane she can be as nasty and dirty as Diane is. Plus she is stronger and a better overall fighter. Luciana doesn’t stop until Diane pleads and pleads for her to stop.

Tuesday Weld beats Nancy Kwan
This could be the closest fight of the set and perhaps of both sets. Tuesday Weld is leery of Nancy Kwan’s supposed judo skills so she is cautious. Then she discovers to her delight that not only are Nancy’s judo skills overrated but that she is even stronger than Nancy – a rare occurrence for Tuesday. Having wasted lots of time avoiding Nancy and being careful Tuesday now goes after her. She wraps her shorter legs around Nancy’s longer ones and applies a leg lock to force Nancy to give up.

Goldie Hawn beaten by Suzanne Somers
Suzanne Somers was humiliated by Loni Anderson in her last fight and wants to atone herself. Goldie Hawn was giving the worst beat down last time by the weak Farrah Fawcett. I have see Goldie produce a “Photoshopped” image  showing a huge bicep. In reality she has neither the upper body strength nor lower body strength to compete with Suzanne. Suzanne is stronger than Farrah and takes up on Goldie where Farrah left out. It wouldn’t surprised me if Suzanne won the beat down contest this time.

[Glamour Fights]

Thanks to all the comments and opinions. With an odd number of experts this time at least there were definite predictions, that is unless someone predicted a tie which no on did.

Loni Anderson 53 vs Farrah Fawcett 43{Pundits 3-0}: his was a battle of the big blonde big hair. The experts all thought Loni would win with barbosa thinking it would be a close fight and Vasago on the other end of the spectrum. Byline was in the middle and came closest to the end result. Farrah accused Loni of trying to steal her hair style and all that thick, wild blonde hair was the point of attack for both. Farrah put up a good battle for awhile and got Loni down and on top of her. But her breasts were no where big enough to smother Loni. Once Loni got on top of Farrah she had no problem in completely covering Farrah’s face with the largest breasts in the contest. Farrah’s arms fell limply to the side as Loni smothered her out.

Martine Beswick vs 40 Adrienne Barbeau 55 {Pundits 2-1}:I must admit I would have gone with the majority of the experts here and predicted a win for Martine. She seems so much nastier than Adrienne and I thought stronger. Vasago was the genius who got it right, saying Adrienne was stronger. After losing to Sharon Tate, of all people, Adrienne has a new found confidence and strength as she has now bested both Pam Grier and Martine in a row. Adrienne got on Martine’s back and buried her head in the swamp just as Vasago said. Could it be Adrienne hates brunettes worst than blondes or maybe she has a mental block against fighting blondes? At any rate Adrienne gave Martine quite a whipping for the 7th worst beatdown tie with Dian Parkinson vs Sherry Jackson.

Elke Sommer 49 vs Jill St. John 46 {Pundits 0-3}: The experts all went for Jill. I suggest this might be wishful thinking along with Ann-Margret who needs Elke to lose and Raquel Welch who hates Elke with a passion. Jill gave Elke a good fight. She was behind and came back when first Ann-Margret showed up to encourage her and give her advice. She came even closer when Raquel arrived to add further assistance. But Jill was never able to close the deal. Elke seemed to get stronger as her anger rose over the vocal interference by Ann-Margret and Raquel. Her final headlock, neck twisting showed a vehemence that had Jill in horrible pain and was most likely due to her hatred of Ann-Margret and Raquel. You should have seen the glare she gave them as she almost twisted Jill’s head off. I think Elke was sending a message to Ann-Margret that she would like a rematch after losing to her. Elke faces Raquel next and I think there could be quite a bit of blood spilt as there is certainly bad blood between them. Still, this was the closest fight this round, tying with the Edy Williams vs Barbara Bach fight with identical scores.

Sherry Jackson 40 vs Dian Parkinson 55 {Pundits 0-3}:The experts made up  for their miscues on the Elke vs Jill fight by all picking Dian to win in a lop sided fight. Dian came out nude to imply this might be a sex fight with the sweet Daddy’s girl, Sherry Jackson. Dian came out nude but she proceeded to give Sherry a real thrashing, stripping her nude in the process. Only after Dian had thoroughly beaten Sherry did she avail herself of Sherry’s soft, sweet, sexy body. You might say “Dian knows best.”

Linda Evans 44vs Sybil Danning 52 {Pundits 1-2}: Only byline though Linda could beat Sybil. Vasago thought Linda was a bit of an overachiever and Sybil sent him a note she would prove him correct. Barbosa predicted a close fight but said Sybil was tougher. Sybil sent him a note also but the contents should remain private between her and barbosa. Linda said she was too strong and skilled for Sybil and wasn’t worried about Sybil’s dirty tricks. She should have been. Sybil looked upon that as a challenge and invented new dirty tricks as she went along. She kept Linda off balance until she finally pounded Linda’s head on the floor to knock her out, just like barbosa said. It was a tough loss for Linda as she had hopes of overtaking Sybil before the end of the tournament. Instead she was humiliated by losing to her.

Luciana Paluzzi 50 vs Diane McBain 43{Pundits 3-0}: Another unanimous selection by the pundits. There seemed to be a general theme that Luciana was out to prove she could be as dirty and as nasty as Diane. I never thought of Luciana as being that nasty but Vasago ranks her in the same class as Pam Grier and Martine Beswick. Looks like he was right. It also looks like Luciana’s strategy was spot on. She attacked Diane with Diane’s own strength in fighting, being dirty, nasty and attacking with claws out. It took Diane off stride and Luciana kept the advantage. Diane got in some good scratches and nasty attacks on her own so the fight wasn’t a blow out. But Luciana’s proved the nastier of the two to win. I think she was particularly set off by Diane’s defiant stance and taunting before the fight.

Tuesday Weld 58 vs Nancy Kwan 36 {Pundits 3-0}:The size of this beating of Nancy by Tuesday was consistent with the unanimous selection by the pundits. Byline and barbosa suggested a close fight. Vasago said it would be an easy win for Tuesday who, although of a rather slender body, exceeds expectations and is stronger than Nancy. Nancy knew her best chance was to nail Tuesday with some hard kicks and came out with a spin move with her leg extended. Tuesday easily dodged the kick and took advantage of a tactical mistake by Nancy. As Nancy whirled her long pony tail flew out straight. Tuesday grabbed it and yanked Nancy of her feet. With Tuesday’s short hair it was no contest. Tuesday dragged Nancy to the couch where she planted her face down. Tuesday then got on Nancy’s back and wailed away on her while pulling out much hair to give Nancy the 4th worst beating. Speaking of exceeding expectations, wonders of wonder, Tuesday has a good shot at ending up in the top half of the rankings with another win or two.

Goldie Hawn 32 vs Suzanne Somers 63 {Pundits 0-3}: At one time there was at least one strong Goldie Hawn supporter. He seems to have disappeared along with Goldie’s fortunes. Goldie remains mired in last place after getting the 2nd biggest beatdown this round by Suzanne Somers. The pundits were in complete agreement with this. All said it would be lop sided and byline said it could be the worst beatdown this time. Suzanne appeared to be celebrating early as she relaxed with a drink. This infuriated Goldie who wore a sun dress to the beach instead of a bating suit. “I have delicate skin which burns easily in the sun” she offered. Suzanne proved that Goldie’s skin isn’t the only thing delicate about her. Suzanne also wanted to proved that she is not only all thighs for her thigh master workouts, but has powerful arms as well. The flimsy sun dress was easily ripped off and sent floating out to sea. Goldie’s arms and legs were tied up by Suzanne’s arms and legs result in many pleadings for mercy. Suzanne refused to relent and kept up her attack. Finally she knocked Goldie out and sent her floating out to sea saying “Go find your dress, you weak cxnt.”