[Ellis Kent]

https://www.fights.sexy/kacie-vs-hollie/

I would love to get some feedback...it takes a great deal of effort to write.
Leave comments here of directly to my profile!

Regards

[sinclairfan]

https://www.fights.sexy/kacie-vs-hollie/

I would love to get some feedback...it takes a great deal of effort to write.
Leave comments here of directly to my profile!

Regards

On the plus side:
> I thought Kacie and Hollie had distinct, plausible personals.  I was persuaded they both enjoy extreme fighting.

On the constructive side:
> I didn't really get "the vibe" of who was turned on by what....
> ....or, for that matter, what was supposed to be turning me on.
> The rules and the fighting were structured to an almost stifling degree.  At some point, it's a fight--just let them fight.
> This is a nit, but ..... why London as the setting?

[Ellis Kent]

https://www.fights.sexy/kacie-vs-hollie/

I would love to get some feedback...it takes a great deal of effort to write.
Leave comments here of directly to my profile!

Regards

London was the setting because Hollie and Kacie live just outside...
On the plus side:
> I thought Kacie and Hollie had distinct, plausible personals.  I was persuaded they both enjoy extreme fighting.

On the constructive side:
> I didn't really get "the vibe" of who was turned on by what....
> ....or, for that matter, what was supposed to be turning me on.
> The rules and the fighting were structured to an almost stifling degree.  At some point, it's a fight--just let them fight.
> This is a nit, but ..... why London as the setting?

[aresseraares]

Well, I love the general idea of breeding bitches fighting in the kennel, with teeth and nails, in an extreme and savage way. Primal to the bone, totally hot setup.

But the description of the fight itself for me was somehow distracting. I would feel it way more in a classic 3rd person description vs 1st person back and forth "voices in the head". I get the idea, for some it might work, for me it didn't, I felt like I am reading some log from chat with catfight roleplay.

But overall - great piece of story, with awesome setup. I would love to see the fronts of this two rivals