[laurie breeze]

Thank you HOWARD 'n GEMMA for letting me be part of this awesome experience & for letting me add my own personal experiences & 'lil breezy' touches to it! BIG HUGGGGZZZZ TO YA BOTH!!!

Later that night, still feeling the effects of the workout, my whole body sore as hell, muscles I didn't even know I have screaming in pain, I lay on my bed, eyes closed, running everything that happened over 'n over in my head like a movie. I still don't like Gemma, that much won't change, but she gave me a LOT to think about. Gawd, it killed me to have to admit to her face that she was right 'n I was ... I was ... wrong! But she was, damn it. I have to admit that now. I do need to learn from her 'n Rachel. They're on my side, I've got to learn to trust them if I'm ever gonna be the fighter I know I can be.....Owwww, holy crap on a freaken cracker! I just hope Gemma bitch is as sore as I am right now!

~L~

[howardcosell]

Well Laurie, I'm glad you're enjoying it and I'm glad you want to be an active part of that journey. I am always open to suggestions and Gemma has done such an outstanding job too! Our minds are always going and she's always coming up with great ideas. I'm glad I was strong enough to add some stuff into that segment she just posted. This is going to be a pretty long journey, and hopefully, it's as exciting as the last one. 

Good luck against Brittany. She's no slouch lol  and be safe in that house too... 

[howardcosell]

Team Samantha training session…

Bully Brit is dancing around the cage in her pink sports bra and pink lycra shorts, throwing combinations of punches and kicks while Katora watches. Victoria has once again decided not to come to the training, so the other eight girls are paired up and sparring. Dana is with Joanne; Rumor is with Katrina; Quinn is with Liz; Shawna with Justice.

Brit- I’m confident! I’m fucking awesome! I’m better than the best! I’m faster than the speed of sound!

Rumor- Not according to my ears.

Brit- Mind your own fucking business, Rumor!

(Katora- The girl has a mouth on her, but you know, I hang out with Samantha, so I’m used to the girls with big mouths. She needs to back it up, though.)

(Samantha- How are things with Team Samantha?… yawn. I think I picked well; we’ve got a great team and everyone brings something different to the table, but there are definitely some concerns. Bully Brit is very fast and she’s got great striking, but she’s overconfident and we’re trying to stress to her that she’s going to have to bring her A game, regardless of how inexperienced Laurie is.)

Katora holds the pads while Brit works them with punches and kicks. Katora takes swipes at Brit and the little blonde dodges them and responds with combinations and to the paddings on Kat’s hands and the giant padding she’s wearing on her chest and waist.

Liz- AHHHHHHH!!!!! FUCK!!!!!

Justine Credible- What the hell?

Samantha- Great.

(Samantha- So, Dynamite Quinn and Baby Liz are sparring. Liz takes a cheap shot at Quinn while she’s adjusting her mouthpiece and Quinn ducks, lifts Liz up like she’s nothing and slams her on the point of her spine. Now, Liz is down hurt and Quinn is trying to go to mount.)

Liz- You crazy fucking bitch! This is sparring!

Dynamite- You took a fooking swipe at me; what the fook did you expect me to do, Baby?

Samantha- Alright, alright… break it up.

Dynamite stands and looks at Samantha.

Dynamite- This fooking bitch has been slacking and jerking off the whole fooking time. She won’t engage me and she doesn’t want to be here. Waste of my fooking time.

Samantha- Okay Quinn. You want action. You’re the only other 5’1” girl I’ve got here other than Brit. Brit’s opponent is 5’1”, so she’d benefit from some sparring with you.

(Samantha- My girl, Dynamite Quinn. Ha ha ha ha! She’s only 5’1” 120 lbs, but that girl is tough and she’s not afraid to show it. She’s like an Egyptian platinum haired Wolverine with a British accent. Everybody makes jokes about that girl, but nobody says it to her face ha ha.)

(Justine- Dynamite Quinn doesn’t call the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone.)

(Rumor- Dynamite Quinn uses paper to cut scissors.)

(Dana- Dynamite Quinn has already been to Mars. That’s why there are no signs of life.)

(Samantha- Dynamite Quinn doesn’t flush the toilet; she scares the shit out of it.)

(Joanne- Dynamite Quinn put the “laughter” in “manslaughter.”)

(Katrina- Dynamite Quinn… who the fuck is this little girl with her light skin and platinum hair in here trying to be tough? I’m not saying she’s not cool. She’s a cool chick, but she’s a little too small to be acting like that. One day, she’ll run up on the wrong one.)

(Shawna- Dynamite who? Oh the other little one with the short hair. She’s okay… I guess. I don’t really pay attention to the other girls unless I’m sparring with them or they’re talking to me. I’m here to win, so I don’t have time to be friendly with these bitches.)

(Samantha- There are some girls who I’m naturally going to expect a lot from because they come in with reputations. But there are some dark horses and some girls who I had a hunch would be pretty good. Shawna really impressed me. She was giving it to Justice; she had Justice against the cage most of the time and she was getting these tricky shots into her chest and the ribs. She hurt her with a knee to the stomach and I saw Justice look at her and exhale and Shawna poured it on.)

(Justice- Wow, she wore me out. I slammed her a few times and I got mount on her twice, but she was hitting my privates and doing a bunch of illegal moves. I was looking at Samantha and she said that it was fair. Shawna got me in the stomach and she was taunting me the whole time, but I rocked her with a left hook and she was hurt.)

(Samantha- Shawna got staggered back and I saw the look on her face and she was stunned. Justice bolted on her and slammed her down and almost got her in an arm triangle, but Shawna slipped behind her and put her in a body scissors, then started hitting her in the chest from behind. But Justice got Shawna’s arms, pulled them forward and threw her own head back and bloodied Shawna’s nose. Then Justice turned over and mounted her, but Shawna kicked her off. It was a good little scrap.)

Samantha addresses both girls when they break.

Samantha- You both have the same problem. Justice… chances are, you’re gonna face somebody who’s going to foul you. That’s a strategy and it can‘t be ignored. You look at the ref and you’re gonna get knocked out… just ask Victor Ortiz ha ha ha. You’ve been through all kinds of shit, J… you know that. This shit shouldn’t phase you.

Justice- I just expect fairness. No; I demand fairness.

Samantha- Girl, I know a little about your story. When the hell has anybody been fair to you?…. Exactly.

Justice- I’m not fouling anyone back, Samantha.

Samantha- I didn’t ask you to do that. I said don’t look for help when it’s being done to you. There you go with that mouth of yours again, J. And you, Shawna… when she caught you with that hook, you sure did get buggy eyed.

Shawna- Buggy eyed?

Samantha- I could see that once your strategy stopped working and you got hurt, you couldn’t adjust. You didn’t know what to fucking do. I was impressed with both of you, but you girls are gonna have to learn to adjust to changes in the match. Not every girl you face is gonna be Joanne or some big fat ass female wrestler. Some of them are going to know what the fuck they’re doing. You’re gonna have to be up on it and be ready. Shit, you can’t come into a fight expecting to not get hit. That’s stupid.

(Samantha- They just looked at me. I didn’t know if they understood what I was saying or not.)

(Katora- Dana was sparring with Joanne and I notice that Joanne makes these sexual noises when she gets hit, you know? I don’t know if that’s a strategy or something, but she starts off well, then she takes a few body shots, and she starts acting like she’s waiting to lose.)

(Dana- I was really holding back on Jo because I like her, and because I could tell that she’s not as experienced as I am with striking. She’s got some submissions and a ground game, but on her feet, she’s not very good. I was just going to her stomach and ribs and she was doubling over and yelling, “Ohhhh, you totally got my weak spot!! Uggghhh!!” I took her down and her arms flailed up like she was in a romance novel with Fabio or something and got slammed on the bed.)

(Joanne- Dana is hot, and she’s strong. She totally beat me in sparring. I couldn’t use my face-sitter on her because her ground game was too good and she kept getting me in my weak spot… my tummy from the bellybutton on down. She knew I use my legs and she got me with so many leg kicks and I could barely move, then she wrapped her arms around me and took me down on my back. I struggled to free myself, but it was too easy for her and her punches were digging into my tummy. Then she put me in an ankle lock. It was totally painful.)

Dana- Are you okay?

Jo- Ugghhh… wow, you won that one.

Dana- I don’t consider that winning, Jo. We’re just sparring, so I didn’t win.

Jo- You hit my weak spot. You figured out that my tummy is my weak spot, and so are my ankles.

Dana- (pulling Jo to her feet) Maybe you shouldn’t say that too loudly. Look, you’ve got a fight coming up against Kathy and they paired us up so that I can help you. I’m down for that. I want you to win.

Samantha- Joanne, you’re in the ring with me. Dana, tell Baby Liz to take the icepack off her back and she’s sparring with you.

Joanne and Samantha walk to the ring, which is a few feet away from the cage.

Joanne- Samantha, I know you and my bestie Laurie have had some problems.

Samantha- Joanne, don’t even start that with me. Laurie Breeze predicted Gemma Rox would kick my ass and she was wrong, then the bitch wasn't woman enough to even admit it. I don't give a fuck about Laurie Breeze other than that she's a girl we're going to knock out of this tournament. So, unless you want to help with the strategy, and I'll only believe so much of what you tell me anyway, don't talk to me about Laurie Bitchin' Breeze. You’re on this team and you’re supposed to be here to win this tournament, not lick Laurie Breeze’s asshole.

Joanne- Well, that’s kinda a fucked up thing to say.

Samantha- (looking at Joanne) You must not know too much about me, huh? Look, you’re fighting Kathy. She’s tall, she fights on the outside, uses her reach and her kicks. She’s about my height. So, we’re gonna get in the ring, and I’m going to simulate her fighting style. You’re gonna try to kick my ass, Joanne. And I’m gonna go easy on you, but if I see you starting to do that weak ass shit like you were with Dana, I’m gonna really take you apart. You’re thinking too much about Laurie; the other girls told me how you wanted to be on a team with her and how you’re upset because Gemma’s around Laurie and you‘re stuck with Shawna and Katrina. I know you’re upset because Laurie goes to bed early now and is too tired to stay up with you. Well, guess what? I don’t give a fuck. Does that piss you off, Joanne? Huh “girl wrestler?” The that make you want to punch me, huh? Well, you’re about to get your chance.

(Justine- So, I’m watching Katrina and Rumor… what a fight that was. It was like watching Hagler vs. Hearns. Rumor is taller; she’s got good movement and a good right hand. She was sticking her right into Katrina’s stomach over and over again and moving.)

(Rumor- Kayla’s got a good straight right to the belly. She developed it from her days with Abbyfights and I saw enough tape of it to take it as my own. You don’t know how many hours I spent practicing that right hand. And I took some of her kicks too.)

(Karma- Katrina was taking some punishment… but that girl got heart. She got mad heart because she kept coming and those gut shots started bending her, but she got Rumor’s back against that cage and she started hammering her ribs and Rumor was groaning and moaning and grabbed her, then Katrina flung Rumor across the cage like a rag doll.)

(Katrina- We were fighting toe to toe and as soon as she gets hurt, she wanna grab me? Uh uh, bitch… I tossed her right on her ass.)

(Rumor- She threw me down, like that was supposed to do something. All it did was get me out of harm’s way of her punches and I got right back up.)

Katrina- You can’t fuckin hurt me!

Rumor- Wanna bet? Come on, Katrina; come on, thick and juicy.

Katrina- Bitch, you’re gonna pay for--- OOOOOF!!!

(Rumor- She came right at me and didn’t even see my foot when it went up and got her right below her navel. She doubled over and I hit that bitch with a right cross to her jaw and a left hook to her right eye and she was up against that cage with her arms up, covering up, so I just kicked her thighs and kept that right hand ramming her gut.)

Rumor- You look and sound hurt, bitch!

Katrina- Nah bitch, that ain’t nothing but a rumor!

(Katrina- I dropped my arms and once she threw that right hand up top, I weaved under it and got her with a left hook to her liver. She made this wimpy noise and buckled and touched her side. I scooped that bitch up and gave her a sidewalk slam right on floor of the cage. The air went out of her and I tried to mount her, but she got her legs around me and squeezed, but I was punching through it.)

(Rumor- That bitch kept on hitting me. I’m thinking that this is sparring and she’s losing control of herself and that’s bullshit! She’s supposed to strike with controlled force. So I decided to buck my legs and when she lifted up a bit, drove my knee up and into her cxnt. I rolled her on her back and I started punching her face while her arms were down.)

(Katrina- She got me with about five good shots and that shit only made me madder. I pushed her off of me and I tried to kick her in the jaw, but she moved and swept my legs out from under me, then she tried to dive on me, but I caught her and slammed her down again. I was trying to mount her, but she was getting me in my belly and below and she caught me in the jaw. But I was on her and once I’m on you, I’m not getting off.)

(Karma- They started really throwing at each other and we had to break it up because it was getting heavy. We had to separate them and they both were pissed off. It’s all good though; somebody gonna get fucked up by one of them… hell, some bodies gonna get fucked up by both of them ha ha!)

(Samantha- All and all, I think we had a good session today. Joanne and Liz are really bugging me and they’re going to be fighting soon. Liz is lazy and out of it and Joanne puts up a fight, but once she gets hit, she acts like she wants to lose. By the way, Bully Brit got owned in sparring with Dynamite. Dynamite beat that girl’s ass; that’s why we didn’t even show footage of it. It was one-sided. Once Quinn got her arms on Brit, she owned her. Brit said she’s been working on her submissions… fuck no. I don’t know what Rachel’s doing with Laurie, but Brit’s gonna have to get her head out of her ass and take this shit seriously because she’s not gonna be able to throw a few punches and win this fight. It’s not gonna be that easy. We want striking and movement. We want her to attack those legs and that soft ass Laurie Breeze body. Once Laurie gets her arms down, BANG… kick to the head and Breeze is dead on her back. Brit’s gonna have to use what she’s good at. On paper, there’s no fucking way Laurie should win this fight. But the girl didn’t come here for a vacation. Fights like these are the most dangerous of all.)

Coming up: Bully Brit vs. Laurie Breeze

[Kayla]

Humorous chatter in between the training - looking fwd to the series! 

Hugs
Kayla

[laurie breeze]

I can't sleep. For like the hundredth time tonight I look over at the clock. 3:37 AM. I wanna fall asleep but my mind is racing. So damn much to think about.

Like the e-mail I got from Jonica earlier:


I know you're worried but I think you can really do well in the house. Listen to Gemma. She's a skanky bitchwhore but she can teach you. You need to learn some wrestling holds. We're a lot alike. Like me, you have a low center of gravity so we have to rely on our legs and speed. I'd say you would do well with leg scissors and chokes. Plus you can pretty easily learn basic traditional holds, nothing fancy or complicated....say armbars, hammer locks, full nelsons, etc. Stay positive!!!

Joni


On top of that, I'm still hearing Gemma's voice from our training session:


"No, you stubborn idiot! You fucken want to go toe to toe and bang with Brit?! That's her game! Strikes and stand-up! She'll tear your stupid head off and shit down your neck! Take her down and you have a fucken chance!"

"But my wrestling sucks! You saw what happened when you took me down."

"That's why I'm here with you now, you dumb shit! But you gotta work with me. Stop being so damn stubborn and open your thick head to new ideas!"

"My stand-up is good, Gemma. It got me this far. I think I can beat her at her own fucken game."

"Oh, really? She's fast, a hard striker and you think you can beat her at her own game. I expect that coming from a dumb Breed like you."

"What did you ... Shut your mouth, Gemma!"

"A sawed off munchkin who thinks she's a fighting Injun because her great grandfather sneaked into a fucken tepee a long time ago and banged a Sioux squaw."

"I'm warning you, bitch! Shut the fuck up!"

"I'm sick of hearing about your Lakota Sioux pride! It's worth shit here at Ultimate Catfighter!"

I lost it, totally snapped my cap. One minute I'm charging at Gemma ready to knock her into next week. The next minute I'm sitting on my ass on the floor, rubbing my jaw.

"Lesson Two, Laurie. Brit loves to taunt and trash. She'll say shit even worse than what I did to get you to do just what you did. Rush in, not thinking, madder than cat shit. Then she'll knock your ass out. Still think you can bang with her?"

"Okay, fine. You made your point. What do I do to beat her?"

"First, you have to listen to what I say and stop fucken butting heads with me. Think you can handle that?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"Good. You're smartening up. Finally! Now we can move on. But it's getting late. Time to wrap it up for the day. Tomorrow we work on your wrestling."

"It's still early. Why can't we -- ?"

"No. I have things to do. We'll pick it up tomorrow."


I can't sleep. Can't wait. Grab my cell.

"Gemma, it's me ... Laurie ... Sorry, I ... Yeah, I know what fucken time it is! I was ... I'm sorry, I didn't mean ... Damn it to hell, will ya stop cussing at me for like two seconds and please listen to what the fuck I have to say??!! Please? ... Look, I know it's late. I'm sorry I woke you up. I need some wrestling practice. Now. I want this, Gemma. More than I ever wanted anything in my life. I am scared shitless right now that I'm gonna make a total ass of myself in front of millions of people ... Yeah. I'll listen to you. I swear. No butting heads. Okay, I'll bring you coffee ... I don't know if anyone sells crumpets around here but how about an English muffin?"

~Laurie~

[howardcosell]

Laurie and Gemma, you guys are doing a great job in my absence. I am honored by your contributions. Thank you, Kayla, for your wonderful comments. 

I'm coming off a hard work week that had me in pain from my condition worse than usual, and also had birthday parties for both my wife and my sister. Now, I'm battling the flu. So... hopefully, I'll be back soon or try to work my way through all this. You guys are great and I'm looking forward to Gemma posting the "Laurie Breeze vs Bully Brit" fight. 

[laurie breeze]

Howard, thank you for letting me contribute! Your inspiration, encouragement 'n guidance, along with Ms. Jenn Peccavi, Gemma, Jonica 'n Stormbolt, have gotten me writing again...something I haven't done very much of since school! I'm in awe of all your talent 'n nowhere in your league but you've inspired me to give it a try! My small contribution to your epic story is a great way for me to not only get my feet wet, but to jump right into the deep end (lifeguard humor!).

Please please take care of yourself, rest up, battle the flu 'n kick its butt!!! All of us care so much about you 'n we're praying for you!

hugggzzz 'n xoxo  

Laurie

[howardcosell]

Laurie, believe me when I tell you that the pleasure is all mine. I don't know if everybody is wishing me well lol, but I'm glad the people who care are and I certainly know who they are. 

Slowly but surely, I'm getting myself back to health. I thought I be able to do some writing today, but I had a bad night full of sweating and sneezing. I'll be back because I have to occupy my mind and my students have their assignments for the week because I've taught these classes before and don't deviate too far away from the format I used in previous semesters lol.

Thanks for you concern. I'm glad you're writing again because you write beautifully. Oh, the sleeping giant we've awakened in you. The board has not just gained a quality respondent and a true friend, who brings such positive energy, but we just got another great writer. Kudos!

[laurie breeze]

Howard, I think that has gotta be the VERY first time anyone has ever used the word 'giant' in a sentence about me!  

Lots of 'get well' hugggzzzz 'n xoxoxo for ya!  

~L~

[~Rox Erotique~]

Two hours before fight time… Baby Liz, Victoria, and Wildcat are sitting on the front deck of the huge UC house. The three women are downing beer after beer after beer as Wildcat goes on and on about her former glory as a wrestler, before she was busted for steroids. Liz lights up a pipe that’s stuff with marijuana.

(Victoria- This old bitch just doesn’t shut up ever. I was thinking about ripping Bully Brit’s clothes off and fucking her on her own bed, but when Wildcat’s around, it’s all about Wildcat)

Wildcat- Any of them bitches… Rachel, Glory, Samantha… I’d rip em up!! I’m still in my prime and bitches can’t fuck with the pythons baby!!

Victoria- I’m going inside. You’re fucking up my daydream, and you’re spitting on me.

Wildcat- Hey, fuck you. I heard you didn’t go to Jessika to get trained. I heard she fucked up while you were tied down and teary eyed until you accepted.

Victoria- Any time you want to come try to fuck me, you come try. But I’m not into old washed up bitches like you. And I’ll get you when you least expect it.

Wildcat- (laughing) Yeah, because you’re a bully, right? You’re a fucking bully. I’m sitting right here; you can fight me right now. But you’re too scared. Bitch, I don’t have to sneak up on you. I’m big time and I’m bigger than you (standing up so that her full 6’4” towers over Victoria’s 5’10”)… but you like picking on little blonde girls. You’re a poptart, Vicky; you’re soft in the middle. If I wanna fuck you, I’ll come in your room and fuck you and you’ll take it, just like you did with Jessika. I can see right through you. I spent years in jail, bitch; YEARS of my life was spent with bitches a lot harder than you trying to fuck with me. And you know what turns me on, Vicky? A bitch who acts tough on the outside, but she’s just a scared little girl on the inside.

Victoria- (walking away) You old crusty bitch.

(Katrina- I look out the window and I see Wildcat drunk and smoking a cigar, but I see two of our girls out there too. Liz and Victoria, tweedle dum and tweedle dumber, out there drinking and smoking weed. They have some stupid bitches in this house. Wildcat doesn’t have a fight yet; she’s already in the final 16, but Liz and Victoria have fights coming up, and they’re letting that old bitch get them drunk and high. I like to get my drink on too, but I sure wouldn’t be doing it if I have a fight in a day or two. I didn’t tell them anything; if they lose, that’s two less crazy bitches I have to worry about fighting… not that I would be worried anyway.)

(Justice- I saw what was happening outside and I went to the phone and called Samantha. I felt like she needed to know about this.)

Katrina, Dynamite Quinn, Dana Black, and Rumor are all sitting at one of the tables in the spacious dining room, having a lunch of BBQ chicken, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, and a bunch of other stuff.

Wilma- So, umm Katrina… I see that you’re eating those BBQ chicken pieces and getting the sauce on your fingers and then, you’re licking them.

Katrina- Yeah, that’s what people do when they eat BBQ, you dumb ass geeky ass bitch.

Wilma- But you’re mixing the sauce with the germs in your mouth and then, the germs in your fingers. You know chicken eat their own feces. It’s true.

Dana- Look, we’re eating lunch, so please take the “Debbie Downer” stuff elsewhere.

Wilma- Oh… Dana, you speak after all. You know, I know you dye your hair black for your fights and you put on grim reaper make-up, but a lot of those dyes and make-ups are tested on rabbits and are made from whale blubber.

Dynamite- If I lose my fooking appetite, it’s gonna take the bloody jaws o’life to remove my foot from this bitch’s ass.

Rumor- This is a Team Samantha meeting, so Wilma, take your ass back to Bedrock.

Wilma- It doesn’t look like a meeting… it looks like you guys are just having lunch.

Katrina- BITCH, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

“Come on then, bitch!! Come on!!”

Rumor- What’s that all about?

Dana- It sounds like Laurie Breeze.

Dynamite- I’m eating my meal. If bitches wanna fight, let ‘em.

In the next room over, Laurie is being restrained by the 6’ 180 lb Xena looking Lucy Thunder. Laurie appears very, very upset as she tries to get around the much larger women to Baby Liz, who’s standing up with only a black tank top on and her black panties.

Liz- Let her go, let her go. That bitch couldn’t beat an egg.

Lucy- Shut up, Liz.

Liz- Laurie, you telling everybody that you beat me? Bitch, you and a bunch of other people jumped me. You telling people I got no pride? You’re a fucking coward, Laurie, just like your friend Wynona and just like your blonde bestie nestie falcon’s crestie Joanne.

Laurie- Liz, I’m going to knock you out again!

Nikky Smalls walks in and immediately goes to Laurie. The 5’6” 140 lb Black girl, who is by far the most well known fighter on this roster, whispers in Laurie’s ear.

Nikky- Whoa, whoa, whoa. You’ve got a fight in less than two hours. She isn’t worth it. You have to focus on Brittany Bullworth. Hey! Hey! Look at me. You have a fight in less than two hours. Stop it. Brit isn’t going to go easy on you just because you got wound up in here. You have to focus. Be a professional.


Liz- Laurie, how about this… you say I have no Lakota pride. Fuck the Lakota, and that’s my last name, bitch. And fuck you too.

Lucy- (to Nikky) You got Laurie?

Nikky- I got her. (Kathy walks in as well and hugs Laurie tightly while Liz pulls a chocolate moon pie out of her bag and quickly shoves it in her mouth)

Kathy- I’ve been told that good ole hug and a friendly tickle always eases the mood.

Lucy walks up to Liz, who is still holding a bottle of beer and is staring at Lucy with her cheeks completely expanded like she’s either got a mouth full of air, or a mouth full of something.

Lucy- You’re gonna learn some respect around here and--- uggghhhh!!!!

Liz claps her hands onto her cheeks and sends the moon pie debris right in Lucy’s face.

Liz- Aha… ha… ha… AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Lucy pulls some of the chocolate from her hair and looks at it… she’s twitching… her mouth turns to a sneer and she jumps on Liz, grabbing her by her throat with both hands and choking her.

Lucy- You fucking bitch!!!!!

Nikky- Somebody come help!!!

It takes Nikky, Kathy, Dana, Porsche, Justice, and White Tiger to pull Lucy off of Liz. Liz gets back to her feet.

Liz- Alright bitch, let’s fight.

Lucy- Let me go before this bitch tries to cheap shot me.

Liz- Whatever.

Liz looks at the girls and turns, falling on her bed and dropping the bottle. Laurie walks out, only to find herself having to restrain Joanne, who’s in an argument with Praggy, while Shawna is off to the side laughing.

Praggy- Keep talking, you overrated blonde bitch! I heard Lauren Hall kicked your ass! I hope I fight you; I’ll beat you like I beat Laurie!

(Rumor- What the fuck is a “Lauren Hall?” That sounds like the name of a college dormitory. Doesn’t surprise me that Joanne lost to her, even though I don’t know who she is. Joanne loves to lose.)

Joanne- I’m so gonna beat both you bitches!! After I beat Kathy, I’m so totally gonna beat your asses!!!

Kathy- What? I’m not saying I’m going to beat you. I don’t have anything against you; I just want a fair fight? Why are you so mad at me?

Shawna- I’ve beaten you twice, Joanne. Both times, you walked away humiliated and stripped naked with your juices running down your legs.

Kathy- I hope it was apple juice… but that would be sad because that would mean Joanne tried to fight while drinking apple juice and she wasted it.

(Porsche- This house is an insane asylum.)

Justice- Laurie Breeze, your ride is here.

Laurie gives her hugs to her teammates and a hug for Joanne as she heads to the gym to get some preparation in before her fight. Bully Brit has been there for much of the day with both Katora and Karma. Team Rachel is next to leave and when Samantha arrives for her team, Liz is still in bed.

(Samantha- If it isn’t one thing, it’s always another. I knew I might have a problem with some of these girls, but you just have to check them. Let them know that you care, but let them know that you won’t tolerate any bullshit. Victoria got in the van this time, for some reason. I walked upstairs to Liz’s room and this bitch is lying on her stomach on her bed and the room smells like beer, weed, and pussy.)

Samantha- Bitch, get the fuck up right now!

Liz- (sleepy) I don’t wanna go. Fuck it, it’s not my fight.

Samantha- You’re acting like you’ve got a choice.

Samantha grabs Liz by her shirt and twists the back, causing Liz some discomfort and the tall black haired Liz rolls onto her back, sort pulling Samantha off balance, then Liz sits up and grabs Sam around her waist.

Samantha- Bitch, you must be losing your fucking mind.

Samantha turns with Liz’s momentum and sweeps the black haired girl’s legs out from under her, sending Liz down on her butt. Samantha puts her hands on her hips and looks down at Liz, but Liz throws a punch right below Samantha’s navel and Samantha bends and backs up with an “OUGH!”

(Samantha- She got me. I left myself open and she took advantage of it. I was more surprised than hurt; that’s a very sensitive area.)

Samantha- Come on, swing. Swing, bitch.

Liz stands up and Samantha springs forward, nailing Liz’s chin with a right cross. The black haired girl hits the floor unconscious. Samantha throws Liz, who is just as tall and weighs only four pounds less, over her shoulder and carries her down the stairs and out of the house.

Both teams slowly file in to the gym and start filling out the bleachers. The first fight of season two of the Ultimate Catfighter is about to kick off with the Badlands scrapper Laurie Breeze from team Rachel taking on Karate expert Brittany “the Bully Brit” Bullworth from team Samantha. The tension in the air is a curious mix palpable and nonchalant… Although a good measure of the amassed fighters are watching the cage with intense interest and nerves as they will their teams fighter on there are a handful who simply couldn’t give a fuck…

(Wildcat - Lets be honest… this is a scrubs fight. You got two bitches in the cage who were so fucking pathetic they didn’t even make the first draft. Bottom line is I‘d break either one of those two sluts in half)

(Victoria - I don’t even know why Sam dragged me out of bed to watch this shit…)

There’s one girl in particular who finds herself torn… eerily silent where she’s normally one of the most vocal girls in the room

(Joanne - The thing is like… Laurie‘s my BFF! I couldn‘t like, go shouting out for Brat Bully… but then like, I can’t go shouting out for Laurie either because she’s on the other team and Sam would like totally trash me in training later… this is totally harsh…)

The 5’1” Laurie walks into the cage, but right now she just looks like 111lbs of nerves. Dressed in a dark green and brown edged shorts and sports bra she’s hoping back and forth, stretching out readying herself…

Brittany on the other hand is bouncing on her toes full of determination and a vicious glint, not a sign of nervousness in sight. She’s the same height as Laurie at 5’1” but it a little lighter at a slight 99lbs. She’s dressed in white Karate Gi pants and a pink sports bra with yellow trim, showing off her toned, defined abs and small outie navel. Despite the twelve pound weight disadvantage many consider her the favourite here. She’s toned, hungry and resolute.

Brittany - Looking a little soft around the tummy there Laurie, bad day to wear shorts by the look of it

(Gemma - Right from the get go Brit starts off with her trash talk shit. We knew that was coming but the fight hadn‘t even started yet)

(Wildcat - you know, that Brat girl was at least mildly entertaining. Truth is I didn‘t really pay attention to the fight. What’s the point? Have you seen the size on those two? The only way they‘d hurt me is if I tripped over their midget asses…)

Brittany - And wow… Green and Brown? Really? You know this is going out on TV right?

(Rumor- It’s a little more than ironic that Laurie Breeze was dressed in green and brown… two colors that are commonly associated with shit.)

Laurie - Shut your damn mouth Brit…

Brittany - oh right! You’re a Cherokee or something right? Me lighting fist! You jelly belly!

(Rachel - a part of me really wishes that Brittany was on my team. I‘d like to see her try those lines with me standing over her…)

The bell rings out and Laurie flies at Brit!

Laurie - UUUGGGHHH!!!!

Like a bolt of lightning Brit ducks down low and fires our a hard straight right fist into Laurie’s soft belly! With Laurie’s momentum she effectively impales herself and staggers back hurt. Brit straightens up and chuckles, seeing the hurt in Laurie’s eyes. She casually starts to circle her foe

Sam - DAMN IT BRIT!!! FOLLOW UP FASTER!!!

(Samantha - this was my biggest worry when it comes to Brit. I just don’t know what her motivation is. She says she wants to be a great fighter, the best even. But the best don’t mess. We see a girl hurt? We pile on more hurt. All this teasing and goading? I mean how the fuck can someone be a black belt in Karate and still lack discipline?)

(Rachel- I found it slightly amusing that ‘Coach Samantha’ was upset with her fighter for taunting and not following up. Samantha does it all of the time.)

Laurie circles Brit, her hands held high but Brit starts to tease and taunt with her posture, her hands down low and swaying her head. Laurie steps in with a heavy right hand looking to take that head off Brit’s shoulders but the girl is too fast, dipping to her left and throwing a wide counter hook liver shot that buckles Laurie before backing off.

Laurie runs in again and yet again get’s punished by a lightning fast strike from Brit. This time it’s a straight right, just below the solar plexus and just like before she backs off leaving Laurie to gasp while she smiles and dances away

Samantha - Damn it Brit!!! You’re not gonna win throwing one fucking punch at a time!

(Rachel - this was a hard one to gauge. It was clear that Brittany had fallen into her old ways of humiliating and teasing her opponents. Like a cat toying with a mouse you could say… the suffering is far more important than the kill. Against any other of my fighters I wouldn‘t be concerned, they’d rally and pound that cockiness out of her, but against Laurie? Well, she doesn’t strike me as the most confident girl I know and this kind of humiliation could start to get to her head. She needs to land some hits and quickly)

Brit - what’s wrong tubby? Out of breath?

Laurie - Fuck you Brit! I’ll shoOOMMMPPPFFFF!!

Brit leaned in with a high left hook but at the last second pulled her arms back before thrusting her foot out fast! The momentum shift caused her heel to slam into Laurie’s stomach so hard it knocked legs from under her and she landed in a heap face first a metre backwards

Laurie - oouuuugghhhh…..fuck…….

Laurie gets to her knees clutching her stomach. That was one hell of a shot to take and you could see the agony written all over her. But the tide seems to be shifting. The whole crowd are shouting and baying at Brit who just stands there waiting for her opponent to get up. At first she’s bouncing and smiling, full of confidence as she waits for the winded Laurie to rise but as soon as the shouting and the chanting start she get’s uneasy… even frustrated…

Brit - Hey… HEY!!! SHUT UP!!!! This is MY FIGHT!!!!

Rumor - What the fuck are you doing?!?!?! Get her back!!! Choke her out!!!!

Shawna - Kick her fucking ribs in!!! hit her you stupid cxnt!!!!

Samantha - For Fuck Sake Brit!!! DO SOMETHING!!!

(Samantha- People are going to say that I fight with taunting and moving. But I know what I’m doing. There’s an obvious method to the madness and if you don’t know how to fight that way, you’re just wasting rounds and giving your opponent opportunities. You can only let a fish swim with a hook in her mouth for so long. It was time to real that fish in.)

Gemma can be seen whispering to Wilma and then, Wilma starts shouting out…

Wilma - HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *snort!* You’re right!!!! She doesn’t know what to do! BWAH HAHAHAHAHAAAA! *snort!* She’s got no ground game!!!!

Brit - HEY! I… I so DO have a ground game! Shut the fuck up!

Wilma - Or what? You’ll beat me up? All I have to do is lay down to beat you! Hahahahaha! *snort!*

(Lucky Star - I‘d lay down with Wilma…. I’ve had all of my shots)

Wildcat - The geek’s right! This bitch got no game!!!

Brit - I’ll show you a fucking ground game!
She stomps towards Laurie who’s on her knees doubled up still in agony when

Brit - AAAUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Laurie slams a hard elbow right into the pit of her stomach then scrambles to her feet fast and rams a knee into the still doubled over Brit, raising her clean off the floor! Gripping the gasping blonde’s hair she steps back then jumps! Falling down fast she lands into a seated position but keeps a hold of Brits hair tightly, effectively dragging her down with her and slamming her face first into the solid floor!

Brit - Uuuuuggghhhhhhh………..

(Samantha- Laurie Breeze uses a facebuster… one of my moves against one of my fighters. It really didn’t sit well with me.)

Laurie shows a little inexperience here and rolls Brit onto her back. Gemma can be heard screaming from cage side, telling her to get her back and slip on a choke hold but Laurie’s in her own world now… payback firmly on her mind. She mounts the smaller girl and sits down HARD! Forcing an ‘OOMMPPHHH!!!’ from her lips before she slams fist after fist into her face! Brit, in her defence does a good job covering up but that’s all she can do as hit after hit is rained down upon her. A slicing right hook cuts her left eyebrow then a thunderous left hammerfist breaks through her guard and cracks her nose.

The ref is moments away from stopping it until

*DING DING!*

The bell rings saving Brit for the time being. Laurie gets up, hate in her eyes but fire in her heart while Brit on the other hand staggers back to her corner, ashen white and on shaking legs

Rachel - ok Laurie Breeze, that round didn’t start out too well but you finished it strong. Your opponent landed less than a hand full of punches. But that being said, she was in control most of the fight and I never leave anything to chance. An official’s judgment cannot be trusted. Trust your fists and end this fight. You say you have Lakota blood in you. Show me.

Laurie - oh jeez Ms Apache… that kick really hurt…

Gemma - then all the more reason to not let her land another one

Rachel - Gemma’s right. You need to take this fight down to the ground. She didn’t have any answers for you when it went to the mat. She’s cut, she’s shaken and she’s shocked. Now you need to finish her. As soon as the bell rings this is what you do….

Meanwhile in Brit’s corner…

Samantha – Are you happy now? You see where all your showboating has got you? Look at you all busted open! Why the hell didn’t you follow up when you had her stunned?!?!?!

Brit - I… I don’t… oh god it hurts… OUCH!!! Would you be careful!

Katora - You want me to stop the bleeding or not?

Samantha - Hey! You pay attention to me and you do it right now! It’s pretty damn clear you’re about as much use on the mats as a dildo in a nunnery! You need to keep this fight standing, you got me? If she takes you down, you scramble! You’re smaller, you’re pretty damn strong for your size, use it! She’s not a natural grappler, you should be able to break away! And when the fight goes standing? I swear to god you better throw more than one punch at a time or I’ll climb in there and knock you out myself! You wanna showboat? That’s fine… but do it AFTER you’ve knocked her the fuck out!

(Samantha- This is a timed fight and a different format. You don’t have time to throw a couple of rinky dink punches and then, dance around. Judges judge on not only the action, but on something called “ring generalship.” That’s control and you ain’t controlling shit when you’re doing what she was doing)

The ref clears the ring of the corner staff and coaches and with a wave of his hand, round two starts!

*DING DING!*

As soon as the bell is run Laurie charges in like a bull! Brit staggers like a rabbit in a head light until they SLAM together and Laurie’s momentum sends then crashing into the cage wall! Laurie wraps her arms around Brit quickly and lifts her up in a bear hug

Brit - AAAAAGGGHHH!!! G… Get off me you fucking pig! UUGGGHHH!!! OOUULLFFF!!! UUGGNNN!!!

Samantha- Sweep and take her down. Bring you right leg inside and around her left one and lean forward. What the fuck are you doing?

(Rumor- It was hilarious.)

Laurie starts slamming her back into the cage over and over again, each hit knocking the air out of her faster and faster but 20 seconds into the bear hug it’s clear that Laurie’s energy is draining… swapping tactics she turns and falls forward quickly! Smashing Brits lower back into the floor in a vicious spine buster slam!

Samantha- Get up!!! You’ve gotta get up; bring your legs up and block the mount!!

Brit - AAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!

Laurie scrambles over her stunned opponents thighs and gets into another full mount but before she can start raining down more punches Brit bucks and thrashes wildly. Desperate to escape she tosses and turns, all panic and no form until she’s spun herself face down… Laurie thinks fast….

Leaning back she tucks Brit’s ankles under her armpits, locking them in tight… then moving her position so she’s sat on Brits bum she reaches forward and grips Brit’s wrists, taking one in each hand until the hold is locked then she leans back… Laurie’s lethal take on the surf board hold!

Brit - Fuck… fuck! AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

As Laurie leans back Brits whole upper body is wrenched off the floor, her spine arched viciously as her shoulders are jarred backwards agonisingly!

Laurie - 4 minutes on the clock girl… you’re going nowhere! GIVE IT UP!!!

Samantha- Relax! That move doesn’t even hurt that much. Pull back on your arms and start to rock left and right!. You need to get her off balance. Buck yourself out of that!

Katora- She is not listening. She is just not listening.

Justine- What the fuck, man? What the fuck?

Laurie screams, rocking back and forth harder and harder. Each movement forcing a shriek from the tortured Brit, Her spine already numb from the slam and bear hug she took earlier doesn’t help things either… soon despite the cries of encouragement and support coming from her team mates, tears form and fall from her eyes, the pain just too much to bare

Brit - I… I give up!!! I give up!!! Get this bitch off me!!!!

The ref rushes in to break the hold and raises Laurie’s arm in victory as Brit limps off dejected

Ref- The winner by second round Submission and advancing to the Next Round… Laurie Breeze!

Gemma - Win by Submission? don’t I remember some stubborn bitch telling me they couldn’t wrestle?

Laurie gives Gemma a hug as the fighters start to file out of the gym

(Praggy - isn’t that fucking sweet… Laurie and Gemma lezing it up. I bet when it‘s my turn to fight that tattooed slut doesn‘t even give me a second look. I mean come on! Why waste your time teaching the girls with no hope? I can win this damn thing!)

(Rachel- Laurie did it. Brittany couldn’t handle the close contact style Laurie threw out in the second round and without her stand up game she was totally outclassed. I will admit I was surprised when Laurie sunk in that submission hold… I would have thought this would end with a ground and pound but It‘s the best result all round for Laurie. She‘ll have a lot more confidence should the fight hit the mat from now on)

(Joanne - Ya know.. I saw Sam look over at me when that bitch Brit was locked in Laurie’s Hang Ten Surfboard hold… everyone else was shouting out encouragement to Brit but, like, Laurie’s my girl! No way I was gonna shout her down! Maybe Sam‘ll come at me in the text training sesh for that.. But I don’t care, even if I can’t be by Laurie‘s side in these stupid teams, I‘ll always have her back!)

(Rumor - that wasn‘t even a fight! All we saw was Laurie get picked apart by a fighter who has a little striking skill to her game and then Brit getting destroyed by a fighter who has a rudimentary knowledge of grappling. I can do it all! No way any of these bitches can touch me! I was confident before…. But now I‘m fucking untouchable!)

(Wilma - I hope they sanitize that cage later. Laurie was sweating a lot and Brit bled all over the place… you know there‘s a blood disease from Patagonia that can rot your flesh from the inside out? Brit looks like she has a tan… I bet she‘s taken Vacations all over the world…. They better sanitize that cage…)

Brittany is crying, but Samantha puts her arms around the little blonde and hugs her as Brit rests her head on Samantha’s chest.

Samantha- It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. Next time, listen to the strategy we put forth. You had her.

(Samantha- Laurie Br-Easy didn’t do anything impressive in there. We had a strategy and Brit didn’t execute it. I am pretty comfortable knowing that since I get to pick the first fight, I can send Dana Black or Dynamite Quinn against Laurie Breeze, and probably wouldn’t even have to coach them. I told my team not to mess with Laurie; let her think she’s done something.)

Rumor- Laurie, you call that fighting? That was awful. I hope I get to fight you; you’re soft and fluffy like a pillow and you’re as useful in a fight as a pillow too.

Lucy- Yeah, because pillows can suffocate you, bitch!!

Rumor- Lucy, we’ve got some unfinished business and I hope we get to it soon.

Lucy- Anytime, Rumor.

Rachel- (to Lucy) That is enough. We have won.

Samantha- But we’ve got a long way to go, Rachel. A long way to go.

Dynamite Quinn approaches Bully Brit, who is still crying.

Dynamite- I sparred with you for four fooking days to prepare you for this fight. I’m a fooking Olympic style wrestler, won me a fooking gold medal. I told you what to do, but did you listen? No! You wasted my fooking time! You fooking suck!! (pointing at Laurie) And you… I guess that makes us the last two 5’1” girls left in the tournament, eh? If we face each other, I hope you try to take me to the ground. I’ll make ground beef patties out of your flower arse!

Next time: Samantha tries to rally her team as the next fight is announced and Team Rachel coming in high off their victory have to deal with some unexpected friction in the camp. Lucky Star makes her intentions known and two more fighters get ready to face off!

[Kayla]

Hmm, Laurie breezes past Brit - or is that 'bully's her way past Brit? LOL!  

Great writing with snazzy, teasy & sleazy dialogue!  

Hugs
Kayla

[howardcosell]

hey Kayla, Gemma, Laurie and I are all working together on this, and Joanne's soon to be joining us with her ideas, so four heads are better than one I guess. If you have any ideas for the series, let us know. And hey, Samantha may just break the "cold war" between you two and call you down to meet Rumor. 

[Marie B.]

I walked upstairs to Liz’s room and this bitch is lying on her stomach on her bed

An interesting contrast to the author herself. After all, when guys are around, Gemma spends most of the time flat on her back.

Inspired dialogue in this chapter, Gems. Great job.



Marie

[Jonica]

Another great chapter, Gemma!  Howard and you are creating something special here!  Congratulations Laurie!  That bitch needed to be put in her place....and you didn't even need my banjo!

J
xoxo

[laurie breeze]

AWESOME STORY, GEMMA 'n HOWARD!!! Howard, this is going to be an epic series!!!    

Gemma, I love 'n I hate your attention to detail! I felt every punch!    Thank you both for letting me be part of this wonderful experience! And for kicking off Ultimate Catfighter 2 in the first fight. Looking forward to the next chapter!!!

Another great chapter, Gemma!  Howard and you are creating something special here!  Congratulations Laurie!  That bitch needed to be put in her place....and you didn't even need my banjo!

J
xoxo

Thanks, Joni! You were right when you called Gemma a skanky bitchwhore but she sure helped me! Thanks for telling me to stop being a stubborn lil shit 'n listen to her!  Ummmm, ya better keep the banjo handy, I have a hunch I'm probly gonna need it!

Excellent story Gemma and Howard.  I am looking forward to the next exciting part of this story.  I also like that Laurie is in this story.


pete

Thanks, Pete! I LOVED being in the story! Glad you enjoyed it!

xoxo

~Laurie~