The fight between my wife Nancy and Dick’s wife Monique happened last night. Below is an abbreviated “Cliff’s Notes” version of the fight, minus the ending. If you’d like the blow-by-blow (as much as I can remember) and a more detailed description of the fight, including who won, then send me a PM telling me why you’d like to hear The Rest of the Story…
Hector, Nancy’s trainer, arrived at our house and taped their hands before the fight. He wanted to stay and watch but we refused. I tossed a coin and Dick called heads. It was heads; he would referee Round One. We went to the basement where we both readied our respective corners with supplies which included a counter to keep track of when each round was over. We went upstairs and got our wives as soon as they were dressed. Each fighter was barefooted, with mouth protection, and wearing essentially the same four items. A bikini bottom covered with very short boxing trunks which came up about an inch below their navels. On top they wore “barely there” string bikini tops covered up with leather bras. Nancy’s two outer garments were black, while Monique’s were mainly white with some black trim. Both women have shoulder length hair, and as hair pulling would be allowed it couldn’t be tied up or back. Nancy is a blonde and Monique has dark brown hair. We swapped corners and I put on Monique’s 4 oz MMA gloves while he put the same pink and black gloves on Nancy. Nancy didn’t say a word but Monique told me she was about to rearrange my wife’s face. I told her good luck with that.
Dick called them both to the center of our boxing ring where they held a stare down as he went over the rules: “This will be a fight of 2-minute rounds with 2-minutes rest between rounds unless we decide you need more time. It will continue until one of you knocks the other into total unconsciousness. You may use wrestling holds, pull hair, and use the ring ropes to your advantage. You may not kick, bite, or gouge the eyes with your fingers or thumb. If the fight goes to the mat it will be stopped and you will be separated and stood back up to resume fighting. Any time a fighter goes down by a punch or exhaustion she must surrender an item of clothing to her opponent. Lacing will be allowed to bare breasts, and to the face of a nude fighter. Cuts may not be sewn. If you are knocked down counting will be at 3-second intervals. You have until the count of 8 (24 seconds) to get back on your feet. Once the count goes past 8 at the referee’s discretion your opponent may be waived in to finish you off. The referee can also extend any round an additional 30 seconds to give his fighter an advantage. If you lose your mouthpiece you will not get it back. The winner of this fight will receive $20,000. The loser must resign from and never visit the gym again.
ROUND ONE: They rushed at each other with bent up animosity like I’ve almost never seen before. Swinging wildly and with abandon they both hit each other’s faces but mainly their blows were blocked or hit each other’s arms. I watched with anticipation, as I usually can pick the winner of a catfight in the first few seconds. (I’m a big fan of the old Crystal Films and I’m rarely wrong in my prediction). I was really encouraged as my instinct said Nancy was going to win. She was stronger and could force Monique back. Nancy grabbed Monique’s hair and pulled her violently around, while Monique tried in vain to return the favor. Forcing her head down Nancy got in some good punches to the side of her face, while Monique could rarely connect because her arms weren’t as long and she had to blindly swing upwards. She got out of the predicament by butting her head into Nancy’s stomach and sending them both to the mat. Dick stepped in and separated them and stood them up.
(NOTE: We put in the rules that we would stop the fight if it went to the ground because we thought ground fighting was boring, especially for amateurs. However, in retrospect both fighters soon learned that the best way to get out of a jam was to pull or push their opponent to the ground. Much of the actual fighting which took place involved a lot of this. It has been eliminated from this narrative (and the actual number of rounds shortened) to make it a more interesting read if nothing else.
Monique was definitely the better wrestler with more ring savvy. Pushing Nancy into the ropes and skillfully trapping her arm behind her she punched and then used her bare thumb to mockingly lace her now bra-protected nipple, taunting her with, “This is what’s going to happen to you Missy!” Nancy got free of her hold and smashed a right hand into Monique’s left breast which I could tell hurt bra or no bra. Nancy made a couple of attempts to hold and trap Monique’s gloves and punch her face, and you could tell that she was aiming for her eyes. (Nancy’s never been a clean fighter). This was perhaps a gray area, because though she wasn’t using her fingers, she was clearly trying to gouge her eyes. Dick however did not intervene, shouting instead, “Don’t let her do that to you, move your head, break free!” That told me this was going to be pretty much an anything goes fight. The bell on my timer rang ending the first round.
ROUND TWO: I was the referee this round, and when Dick rang the bell both girls charged at each other as before. A great fight, the telling punch was by Nancy after a minute into the round. Right through Monique’s guard straight to her nose. Her head went back and she went down! More shocked than hurt, she at first started to get up immediately and then listed to Dick to stay down till I reached 7. When she was up I asked her what she wanted to remove and she pointed to her bra. You could physically feel the embarrassment she was enduring as I untied the back and removed the heavily padded bra and gave it to Nancy. She proudly waived it around and then draped it over the rope in her corner. Dick added 60 seconds to the round for a knockdown, so they fought on for another minute. Underneath Monique’s bra was just a thin t-shirt material bra which clearly exposed her nipples, giving Nancy some great targets to shoot at and she scored a couple of really nice bulls-eyes again to her left breast.
Both girls were breathing heavily as they returned to their stools. Nancy’s left eye was very red and perhaps starting to swell. I told her she was doing great.
ROUND THREE: No longer rushing at each other, Dick had to separate them several times for just trying various wrestling moves and pushing each other around to gain an advantage. With less than 30 seconds left I was ready to put this one in the books as an even round, when Monique tried a spinning back fist just after they were separated once again, and it landed flush on the side of Nancy’s head. She went down! I looked to see if it was a surprise knockdown or if she was really hurt, but I couldn’t tell. She stayed down till Dick reached 7, and when he reached to remove her bra, she said, “No, I’ll take off my shorts instead.” Surprised, Dick helped her step out of them and gave them to Monique, who also did a wave and a dance with them. Why Nancy chose her shorts instead of her top I haven’t asked her yet, but it was a decision with disastrous consequences. (I think Monique’s threat to her tit in the first round had an effect). This exposed her very tiny hot pink bikini bottom. The bikini was a suit she bought for the Caymans and was far too revealing for her to wear anywhere else. The top of the bikini just barely covered her love mound, and that was when she pulled it up to fit properly. If she didn’t have a shaved pussy you would certainly have gotten a look at her bush. Monique was charged by her success and rushed at her. The rules were that if it was bare it could be struck, and this meant that Nancy’s lower belly was now free game. One punch which got through Nancy’s guard and landed on newly exposed skin forced an audible “Agh!” from her. Worse, I had to add an additional 60 seconds to the round. Monique landed some more low belly shots, and now Nancy was back pedaling and beginning to panic. Her punches were clearly hurting! The extended round was just a few seconds from being over when Monique backed Nancy up against the ropes in her corner. She grabbed the top of Nancy’s hair and pulled her head back over the top rope, pulling her hair so much her feet almost came off the mat. Nancy’s right arm was blocked by Monique’s body but her left arm was free. Nancy could punch Monique in her face with her left arm but due to the angle couldn’t really put any force to her punch. Monique’s right hand landed with full force on Nancy’s belly, just above her bikini top. She took two of those terrible punches before I dinged that the round was over. Immediately Dick countered with, “Continue fighting!” Dick was extending the round, meaning Nancy had another 30 seconds to endure, and she was trapped. Nancy tried loosening the grip on her hair with her right hand, but Monique just pulled her back over the rope farther, stretching her stomach muscles which would then receive the pounding from Monique’s right hand, right on Nancy’s ovaries. Nancy was screaming, “No! No! Stop!” but Monique kept punching. Probably 15 really hard punches all well below her navel before the additional 30 seconds was up. Then Monique made a mistake. When Dick called for them to stop, she pushed Nancy rather than letting her fall. If she had let her fall it would’ve been another knock down. As it was Dick ruled it a slip. I ran to Nancy to help her to her chair. She said she couldn’t feel her legs, and I started massaging them to get some feeling back so she could stand. After about 30 seconds she recovered somewhat, but her lower belly was dark red all over. I thought about asking for a longer rest period but I knew Dick smelled blood in the water and wouldn’t agree. I got Nancy off her stool and she seemed much better than she looked. I told her she had to put her down to have any chance of winning.
ROUND FOUR: I was the referee, but I didn’t know how much help I could give. Monique seemed to be taking her time, stalking her. Nancy’s red belly was just too tempting not to try and hit while they were both standing in the middle of the ring. However, by bending down to punch that low, Monique left herself open for a counter punch, and Nancy delivered the best punch of the fight, right to Monique’s jaw. She turned and hit the mat face down, and didn’t even roll over or try to get up until the count reached 6. I didn’t waive Nancy in to try and finish her yet but she was up at nine. Monique didn’t protest as I removed her top, exposing her nipples to full view. Nancy took the bra to her corner and exclaimed, “My, I’m getting quite a collection here!” With an additional 60 seconds added the fight began again. Monique landed some belly shots but they were higher up and not nearly as effective. Nancy on the other hand scored a great straight right hand right to her breast. Emitting a scream, Monique tried to tie her up and they arm wrestled for a bit till Nancy pushed her to the ropes. She grabbed her hair as Monique had done only with the wrong hand, her right. Monique’s left hand was blocked by Nancy’s body but her right hand was free and she used it to pound Nancy’s mid-section with a couple of punches. I thought Nancy was going to back off, but instead she pulled her hair and head back harder. When Monique reached her left hand up to try and keep Nancy from pulling her hair any more, she reached over the top rope to get to her head. Nancy grabbed Monique’s left hand with her left hand and pulled down. Monique’s right arm was blocked by Nancy’s body and her left arm held down over the top rope by Nancy’s left. Nancy could now let go of Monique’s hair and punch her with her right hand. After a few smacks to the face Monique managed to turn her head into Nancy so she couldn’t do much damage, but Monique’s left bread was exposed and Nancy targeted it. There was nothing Monique could do though she tried to wiggle out. Nancy started punching with all her might, right on her nipple. And she was alternating punches with “laces” by using her thumb nail to go into her breast. Monique was now screaming, “Ow! Ow!” with every punch. Suddenly there was blood. A lot of blood as Monique’s left breast I thought had almost popped like a water balloon. Monique was both screaming and crying now. I couldn’t really see the damage due to the blood, but as Dick’s alarm went off signaling the end of the round I immediately shouted, “Continue!” In retrospect I should’ve allowed the round to end when it did. Realizing she would suffer even more punishment, Monique wiggled in desperation to get free—and succeeded! Nancy was now punched out but Monique wanted to give back in turn, and landed a hard right cross right to Nancy’s mouth. Her mouthpiece went flying and she went down! In surprise and anger, she got up immediately and the two of them went at each other, just like the first round! The fight was so intense at this moment I totally forgot about stopping to remove clothing. I just let them fight. Monique now whirled Nancy into the ropes and with her last bit of strength drove her right hand deep into Nancy’s belly, just above Nancy’s clit. The round ended and Dick immediately rushed in the ring to see about Monique. Nancy collapsed on the mat, knocked down twice in less than 15 seconds! And she was hurt, really hurt. I carried her to her chair and started massaging her legs as she was semi-conscious at best. Her eyes were glassy. I think the breath had been knocked out of her. I could hear Monique crying loudly behind me, and I called out to Dick and said, “How about 5 minutes rest before the next round?” He said, “Fine.” I turned and set the counter for six minutes. Maybe there would be enough time to get Nancy ready to fight. Then I noticed that Nancy’s pink bikini bottom was dark red in the center. I threw water on her and she came around, somewhat. I asked her if she could stand and she said “I don’t think so.” Monique’s crying had lessened, and I was certain she was getting ready to fight. I remember a member of this forum telling me that attacking the breasts wasn’t very effective—that body shots did more damage. God was that true! Nancy’s belly was turning black in places already. I gave her some water and it seemed to help. I looked at the timer and there were just two minutes left. Not enough time! I wasn’t doing everything I should do. When Nancy lost her mouthpiece it cut her lip, but there just wasn’t time to deal with it. Worse of all, she had been knocked down TWO times in the last round! That means she was going to start round five with totally bare breasts. And as her bikini bottom was the only item of clothing left, it meant if she were knocked down again she would be nude and her face would also be subject to lacing. I threw more water on her, but I was out of time and had to remove both her bras, exposing her tits. I helped her get off the chair and to my surprise she could stand up pretty well. The counter went off, signaling the start of Round Five, and I heard Dick coming across to my corner, to get Nancy’s bras to give to Monique.
If you want to read about the “last round,” please send me a PM.
Epilogue: Without giving away the ending, these girls inflicted a lot more damage on each other than they should’ve been able to do. They were amateurs, and I know neither one of them hits that hard. My wife commented after, “I’ve never been hit so hard!” To make a long story short, I examined the gloves they used. I had never really done that before, my fault. There was a center oval section over the knuckles which WASN’T MADE OF LEATHER! It looked like leather, but was much harder. Not plastic, felt like a piece of truck tire but I couldn’t even scratch it with my fingernail. Again shortening the story I’m not 100% what the brand was, “Fitestar” I think, but it may have been “Fitesafe,” or “FourStar,” something like that. Picture of a star on the back of the hand with the logo. I’ve searched the Internet for “illegal MMA gloves” or for those brand names and can’t find any information. These gloves made the girls punches seem like they had ballpeen hammers in their hands. Again, PM me for more information. And for those who are pissed that I haven’t told you who won the fight, I’m sorry. I have my reasons. PM me and you’ll get “the rest of the story.” And if you’ve ever heard of these gloves, I’d REALLY be interested in that information. Again this is a snipet of a really involved story, as a lot has happened since last night.
One more thought: I think I should also post a “lessons learned” as we tried some new things for this fight, and some of them worked and frankly some of them didn’t. More on that later I guess.
