Dear Kim,
My name is Caroline and I work in the accounting office of a major legal firm. About two years ago, the company hired a senior legal partner I will call Margaret. Margaret is older than me by at least ten years and is one of the smartest, sweetest, and most attractive women anyone could hope to find. You can imagine my delight when she returned my interest. Since our company is kind of old-fashioned, our relationship has been a secret one, but filled with much pleasure and joy, at least until three months ago. At that time a new girl joined the company, an executive assistant in the records department named Brittany. It wasn’t too long after Brittany was hired that I noticed her spending a lot of time around Margaret. At first I just put it off to Margaret helping the new girl, but after I found Brittany hanging all over her in the copy machine room, the truth became obvious. I cannot be angry at Margaret, since as far as I can tell, she has done nothing to encourage the little pussy stealing Skank. I made it clear to Brittany that her attentions toward my girlfriend were unwelcome but the slut refuses to take a hint. After watching her flirt with Margaret openly for weeks I had to act. I followed her into the company supply closet one day during lunch break and things became heated. While I will not go into the sordid details here, just let me say that buttons were lost, hair forced into disarray, and scratches made in very private places. Our lunch break ended before the matter was settled and I hoped Brittany would just go away, but I got an email from her yesterday challenging me to meet her in a catball for Margaret’s love. I of course agreed, so now to my questions. What is a catball? Is it like a hamster ball but bigger? What do you do in it? Please answer quickly, Margaret is going out of town on business in six days and Brittany said we should catball while Margaret is not around to stop us.
Dear Caroline,
From time to time, many of my faithful readers send me questions regarding catballing. I am often shocked to discover how few bitches have heard of catballing and how many others remain seriously misinformed. As a service to the catfighting community and yourself, I will attempt to dispel some of the myths and blatant misinformation surrounding this very important topic.
Most of the questions on catballing can be summarized as:
1 - What is a catball?
2 - How do I get her into a catball?
3 - How do I get out of a catball?
4 - Is catballing right for me?
In regards to the first question, catballing most often occurs when two women are locked in a very serious and merciless bitch or catfight. To the uninformed, a catball often appears to as almost harmless clutching or hugging. Nothing could be further from the truth. While a catball may involve hugging or clutching its one of the most dangerous situations a bitch or catfighter can find herself in. Catballs begin when two women are struggling in close contact, usually body against body. For reasons I am sure I don’t need to explain to my readers, the combatants have usually stripped each other naked at this point. Now down on the ground together, bared chest against bared chest, breasts mashing, tummies touching and mound rubbing, one or the other will make a move that risks the start of a catball. Often the first woman to make this move doesn’t even realize the full and dangerous implications of what she is doing.
Usually one woman will wrap her arms around the other’s nude and struggling body in an attempt to control her. She might slip both hands under the other’s arm pits and around her back, or drape one arm over her rival’s shoulder as the other hand comes up low from the opposite side. She might even simply go for the double-handed hair pull HUG. Often her rival will respond with a similar grip, both in self defense and in hopes of using her own grip to control and pin her sweating and fighting enemy. I am sure many of my Dear readers have been in similar situations dozens of times and find nothing surprising or particularly worrisome about such an innocent looking clench. The danger is in what may follow.
As any woman will admit, our legs are the strongest muscles in our bodies. Nature has designed us to RUN while the men stay behind to be eaten by tigers. Well, hopefully not all of the men, but you get my meaning. So it is hardly surprising that when a woman finds herself in a desperate struggle against a determined bitch rival, she will attempt to use her legs to hurt or entrap her enemy. In the case of catballs, once one woman has hugged her rival, for lack of a better word, and been hugged back, it is only natural for one or both of them to attempt to curl up and try to control her opponent using her legs. This would lead to a quick end, except that the other woman has legs too and will quickly use them to protect herself while trying to ensnare her rival in turn. This often leads to some frantic leg wrestling and many a good pair of nylons or stockings has not survived such the encounter, nevertheless, this does not lead to a catball, so what does you ask? That is the answer to the second question.
“How do I get her into a catball?” You can’t. At least you can’t do it without a little cooperation on her part. As I mentioned above, catballs start because two women in serious conflict have gotten each other into a tight mutual hug and then quite naturally begin to use their legs in the struggle. This may well lead to a lot of kicking and rolling on the floor and nothing more, but sometimes one woman will attempt to get her legs up much higher then normal and wrap them around the other’s body. At a minimum one leg will come over the other’s hip and her calf will cross the small of her rival’s back. Some women are very flexible and are capable curling up enough to get a calf almost between the other woman’s shoulder blades. The remaining leg is usually lower and trapped between her opponent’s thighs, but can be angled around get the calf across the back of her enemy’s thigh or even over her well-rounded derriere (Editor’s Note: butt). Several of my faithful readers at this point will say, “Kimmie that is just stupid, I would never let a girl get her legs around me that way”, you are correct of course you wouldn’t …unless… it was the only way you could get you legs around her. As I mentioned above catballs are always by consent, requiring only a few moments of cooperation and leading to a path of danger and pain. As many of you already know, when in a fight of this nature and face to face, there is an excellent chance that the vagina of the party of the first part has been …rubbing… on the vagina of the party of the second part for some time. This is usually the …last piece… of the other’s woman’s anatomy you need to be reminded of at the moment, since it quite likely played a prominent role is starting the fight in the first place. Many otherwise rational and reasonable women have done some very stupid, crazy things after having the vagina of her rival grinding into her own pussy for the last 15 minutes. For those of you who haven’t experienced this yet, I can only ask you to take my word for it, it is MADDENING!
“So how do you get in a catball?” Sometimes it’s by agreement as in your email from that trashy pussy whore Brittany. Most times, one woman just tries to wrap her legs high for control and the other copies her move, they struggle for a few minutes and soon realize that neither of them can get by the other’s leggy defense. At that point they either give up …or… there is a brief moment of cooperation in which one stops struggling and allows the other to secure her hold, while waiting a half second and then getting her own mutual body trapping leg lock. Sometimes this just happens, other times there may be a brief whispering and hissing conversation in which one or both DARE the other to catball. This is a very dangerous moment in a catfight and you should have decided before you even think of reaching for her hair what your answer is going to be. Nothing is worse than making this decision in the heat of battle and then finding out too late it was a mistake. Why is catballing so dangerous you ask? That is the answer to your third question.
“How do I get out of a catball.” You can’t. There is no qualifier to this answer. Once you are in a catball Honey you are IN! Just as it took her cooperation to get into a catball, it also takes her cooperation to get out. If she were all “Ms Cooperation 2010” you probably wouldn’t be on the floor with her naked and rolled up in a ball now would you? Think about this. Even at the start of the catball, you normally have one arm trapped underneath one of her arms and one thigh caught between her legs. The fact you are probably pussy on pussy at this point, is probably not making everyone feel loving and cheerful either. If you just let go what happens? Nothing. She is still holding you and if she wasn’t one arm and leg are trapped anyway and you can’t pull away. In fact whatever you do DON’T LET GO! If you do this it will only allow her easier use of her arms and legs to reposition herself and control you and you don’t want THAT! If you are challenged to a catball think first. If you are in a catball do …anything… and …everything… you can to win, because Honey catballs go ….ALL THE WAY! Some people find it hard to believe how difficult a catball can be to escape. I can only point out that your grip on her only reinforces her grip on you. I have been in catballs and spoken with many women who have been in catballs and I have never talked to anyone who even heard of someone getting out of a catball once it was formed. There is a rumor floating around New Jersey last year, that two women gave up a catball on each other after being clenched for over 12 hours. Frankly, I don’t believe it, but you can make up your own mind on that, which brings us to your final question.
“Is catballing right for me.” First let me emphasize that forming a catball with a rival is a very serious decision and not one to be taken lightly. This is not something you do over who took the last tampon. Well, OK, maybe over that, but definitely not over who lost the TV remote. Let me make this perfectly clear, people in catballs get Hurt! Even the winner and when she does come out on top, possibly hours later, she is not likely to be in a forgiving or forgetting mood. Once in a catball, each woman has little choice but to try and fight her rival close in and body against body to the finish. Vicious scratching occurs in catballs. Biting occurs in catballs. Women have snatched each other completely bald in catballs and they didn’t stop fighting then, because they couldn’t. One you are in, you are IN. To someone who doesn’t know what they are seeing, a catball can look almost peaceful. The women are …hugging… each other. From time to time one will grunt or moan and their bodies will squirm or shift slightly. Arms slip over sweat slick backs. Thighs squeeze and curl. The ball may roll over from time to time, the woman’s bodies often get so twisted and curled around each other, it can be impossible to tell who is on top, and whose arm or leg you are looking at in the tangle. I have been in catballs where I didn’t know if I was on top or the bottom or both. Usually even the smallest motion is opposed by the other woman with desperate effort. She may not know what you are trying to do, but she does know if you want to do that, it can only be bad, so she will fight it. For all a catball may appear almost motionless, its not uncommon for every muscle on the women’s clenched bodies to be tensed and standing out like steel cables. From time to time one will gain some small advantage in position and use it to hurt the other. Hair pulled out slowly. A nipple chewed, one finger nail curled between delicate vaginal walls and scratching. At this point, screams and pleading for mercy are useless. My advice is save your breath to fight with.
So how does a catball end? Somebody wins. What does that mean? To put it simply women have died in catballs with a rival, I would not even call it uncommon, and other’s have been tormented and terribly mauled. Some have been used sexually and even in the mildest cases the loser can expect to be humiliated mercilessly by the winner often for hours until he passes out from pain, exhaustion, or pure shame.
At this point, many of you might think I would never recommend catballing, but that is not true. I suggest only that you reserve it for cases that are very serious and that you believe you can win. I would never catball a girl over a space in the parking lot. Well OK, just that once, but I was young and stupid and it was a mistake. On the other hand, there are cases where rolling the bitch into a ball with you is the PERFECT place to show her that you are …not… anyone she wants to fuck with again! Went behind my back to the boss and made me look bad. Catball! Made it with my girlfriend while was I away on a business. Catball! Got up in my face with a lot of skank Attitude on the …wrong … day of the month? Oh yeah bitch CATBALL!
Well Caroline I hope this helps you in your current situation. The fact that skanky girl challenged you to catball says she is either very confident or bluffing. Of course if she was all THAT in a catfight, then it would have been over in the supply room right? This is the kind of decision a woman can only make for herself. All I can say is that if she …fucked… my girlfriend, I would ball her up with her in a SECOND and before it was over, they would be able to use skank girl’s face for a jigsaw puzzle. Of course that is just me …giggles.
Fondest Regards,
Kim
( a week later )
Dear Kim;
Thank you so much for getting back to me! and with such a detailed explaination. I must admit, that, after reading your description, I was nervous, and wondering, what the hell am I thinking about, this is crazy. I even wondered if that Bitch Brittany even understood what she was challenging me too. But, after what has transpired over the last week, I am still wildly nervous, but completely committed to having this Catball.
Margaret leaves on her business trip this morning, and Brittany and I have agreed to meet at Margaret's place tonight at 8 pm! neutral ground so to speak , well it even has more meaning than that, as it is about which of us will continue to visit Margaret's home.
Well, let me catch you up on the week. I didn't respond to Brittany's email right away, as I was hoping to receive your response so I understood better what I was getting into. I guess she took it as backing down. Monday at the office she was even more aggressive with her flirtation around Margaret, and I have to admit, Margaret certainly seemed to enjoy it. I was fuming, and again got in her face at lunch, but this time before we even got into the copy room, we started, and of all people Margaret broke us up. Reminding us we were in a professional office. How embarrassing! But I think I caught a glint in Margaret's eye.
Well two can flirt, and I began also pouring it on. Hell Margaret is MY girlfriend anyway. This continued through Wendsday, when the little cxnt stealing bitch copied me on a email exchange. Dinner arrangements with Margaret that night. Holy shit, she upped the stakes, again I don't know if this is the first "date" and I still cant totally blame Margaret, the little slut is practically throwing herself at her. Well let me say, that spurred on a flurry of nasty emails, included me coping the Slut on my date plans with Margaret for Thursday night, before she goes away on her business trip.
Enough said, I accepted The bitches catball challenge and as I mentioned it is set for tonight, Friday, at 8pm at Margaret's home. Seems we both have a key! The whorish Bitch. We both wont after tonight that is for sure. Kim, I am almost shaking today, nervous, adrenilin racing , who know, yes I am scared, but I have no choice. I am NOT giving up Margaret, and this bitch has made me furious. I can think of little else. So, its ON! I will write you later, you been so helpful, I will let you know what happens.
Soon,
Caroline
