As someone who has had this fascination for over 30 years I sometimes wonder about fantasy vs. reality. As a lot of people on this board know I've always fantasized and written stories about my friend's mom, Nina, wrestling/catfighting other women and she always takes a beating in them. Now, Nina was always a very sweet and nice woman so if I actually saw another woman beating her up, straddling her and doing some of the things to her that I write about in my stories, could I really sit and watch? I really don't think so. I'd have to try to stop it even though this is something I have fantasized about on hundreds of occassions. Now if it was an actual "wrestling match" in a ring, with a crowd and referee so it didn't get out of hand that might be a different story. On the outside I'd probably be rooting for her but on the inside I'd be rooting for her opponent. I know othe people on the board often talk about wanting to see women close to them, wives, moms, etc. wrestle with other women. What are your thoughts? What would you really do if confronted with the reality?
I'll reflect on your examples first and quickly point out that there's such a thing as premature deaths in wrestling. It's not a guarantee to be safer than a brawl. The fact of the matter is, that compared to us guys, research and development into women's health is underappreciated. One would think that treating women as living goddesses coming out of the Stone Age happened because men and women did not understand how conception happens could not happen today... only to learn that fake pregnancy centers (religious non-health organizations masquerading as benevolent maternity centers) filled women's heads with utterly false, dangerous and stupid things.
It's such a strong adversarial effect that many conflate culturally and societally induced traits represented by women that it spills over to sexual fantasies. I'm not talking about the fighters being smoking hot babes, that's par for the course of the ultimate hetero male fantasy. I'm talking about favoring one's own perception about how are and to be instead of how they are actually as individuals.
A lot of fantasy revolves around straight women, who, by the touch of the magic wand (pun intended) somehow end up having sex. Taking a brief look at a titfighting topic where straight and bi/lesbian women compare notes, and yeah, that's so not the case. So much so, even the desired outcome is different. Yet another branch of fantasy translates conflicts between women into ones that unavoidably end in a physical confrontation. For the sake of argument, let's say we ignore women who by default act in an antisocial way, and focus only on those who exist in a community. When I was a lot younger, I used to think women either secretly fight a lot or don't because they lack muscle mass. Ask any mother how much that counts if you want to protect your kid.
Traditionally our male ancestors pre-agriculture did not care much for living or dying in a fight. Not out of bravery... rather a wild animal or a simple cut could just as easily kill them. Facing death every day does that to a person. Yet the women charged with protecting the community had to establish a link. A chain of survival that cannot tolerate outliers.
In addition to that comes aversion to such bad smells like profuse sweat, the sight of blood (both past indicators of grave sickness). Willing to step up to a fight that isn't a brawl requires courage from a woman, especially the risk of being shunned by her peers. The acceptance of women fighting compared to our history is young. In fact, I couldn't even name a woman today, whose mother and grandmother were fighters too.
In regards to your last question: I have diffused a fight that was over me, not because I felt I must defend my then girlfriend's honor, she was her own person, rather she wasn't dressed for the occasion. She told me before that she had a shirt ripping fight in a nightclub before, but we weren't alone that day.
I do think that as a teen I ruined my first relationship by trying to force the girl into fighting and pretty much talk about nothing else.
