The Fights this round:
Jaclyn Smith fights Suzanne Somers: Jaclyn lost to her fellow angel, Farrah Fawcett. No disgrace in this as Farrah is a fan favourite. She held her own and gave Farrah some good licks in going down in defeat. Suzanne had a very close win over Edy Williams who I expect to be a tough opponent throughout this tournament. The difference in this fight seemed to be the power in the "Thigh Master Queen's" thighs. If she gets Jaclyn between those thighs it will be curtains for Jaclyn. But Jaclyn can counter with the agility and skills she learned in Charlie's Angels fights, most of which she won. Both women are dressed in running clothes. Jaclyn chases after Suzanne, tackles her and the fight is on. Can Suzanne trap Jaclyn in her vise like thighs or will Jaclyn toss Suzanne around with moves she learned on Charlie's Angels.
Cathy Lee Crosby fights Diane McBain: Cathy was a semi-pro tennis player where she developed her showed her athletic abilities while building up strong arms and legs. Expectations were that she would be able to overpower and outmaneuver most other sex symbols. Still she had a tough fight against Joey Heatherton indicating she might be more vulnerable against a vicious catfighter that one would guess. And Joey is a vicious catfighter. So is Diane McBain a mean catfighter. Sherry Jackson put up a strong fight but Diane's love of catfighting made the difference as she beat up Sherry much as she did in The Miniskirt Mob. Will Cathy's superior athletic ability and strength be enough to overcome the brutal attacks by Diane as she did against Joey or will Diane show that strength is not the determining factor when it comes to catfighting - it is who wants it more!
Adrienne Barbeau fights Linda Evans: This fight starts out as a bare breasted catfight. Adrienne is disappointed in her loss to Victoria Principal. She challenges Linda to a tit fight figuring that her 34DD's will overwhelm and demolish Linda's 34C's. Linda enjoys any type of fighting and accepts the challenge. She figures her breasts are firmer than Adrienne's breasts and will be the ones dishing out the punishment. Linda beat her high school arch rival, Stefanie Powers. Stefanie stole Linda's boyfriend in high school and so Linda was looking for revenge as she battered Stefanie. That motivation won't be there in this fight so the fact that Linda won and Adrienne lost makes little difference in this tit battle.
Lindsay Wagner fights Lucianna Paluzzi: The 'bionic woman' is certainly athletic and had lots of practice for her TV fights. Ann-Margret is just plain tough with strong legs of a dancer and that proved a great advantage as Ann-Margret left Lindsay in a heap. That is to say Lindsay without bionic powers was no match for Ann-Margret. Not much is known about Lucianna's fighting abilities as I believe she fought more with her brains than brawn in her James Bond movie. So her fight with the taller Dian Parkinson was our first chance to judge her. Lucianna fought a back and forth hairpulling, leg wrapping fight with Dian. Dian's longer legs had the advantage in leg to leg fighting Lucianna had the advantage in ripping our Dian's blonde hair. In the end neither could claim victory. The two women fought to exhaustion without a victor. A batter Lindsay faces an exhausted Lucianna. Who will have the greatest will to force their tired and sore bodies to victory?
Barbara Back fights Loni Anderson: A bikini battle, at least as long as the bikinis stay on. Both Barbara and Loni fought to draws in their first fight. It seems there were quite a few even match ups in round 1. Barbara fought Goldie Hawn to a draw. Observers were sure Goldie would drown Barbara enough to get the submission. However Barbara showed her mettle, reversing their positions enough that both women ended up sputtering and coughing, unable to continue. Loni found herself buried in a fight with Elvira, often being buried underneath Elvira. Elvira controlled this fight most of the time, getting Loni into various predicaments only to have Loni work her way out and escape. We were surprised that Elvira seemed just a tag faster than Loni and was always a half-step ahead of her. But it wasn't a whole step and Loni shows she knows how to fight defensively. She told us that she has resolved to go on the attack against Barbara right from the onset and not get on the defensive like she did against Elvira. She will get Barbara in a headlock/breastsmother until she can't breath. We told Barbara this and she said if Loni tires to smother her with her drooping boobs she won't hesitate to bite them off. Barbara claims she will be the aggressor, something she also did not do as she should have against Goldie. Expect a fast and furious fight right from the git go.
Dian Parkinson fight Ann-Margret: Dian is extremely upset she had Lucianna on the ropes and let her escape. She says she won't do that against Ann-Margret. She knows about Ann-Margret's powerful legs and stamina and says she has a plan to counteract them. Ann-Margret is extremely confident. She was expecting a very tough fight from Lindsay Wagner but ended up with an easy victory. She is fresh and full of energy whereas she figures Dian is tired from her hard fight with Lucianna Paluzzi. When it was pointed out that Dian's longer legs could challenge hers Ann0Margret just snickered. "If she wants a leg battle, bring 'em on! If she wants to see who has the stronger biceps, bring 'em on! In fact bring anything on she wants. I am ready for her!" Is Ann-Margret too overconfident? Is Dian too tired to compete with the exuberant and feisty Ann-Margret? Your call.
Martine Beswick fights Sybil Danning: What can I say? Another fight between tough women who love to fight. This match could easily rival the Pam Grier / Senta Berger fight for the hardest and most vicious fight this round. Given that Senta Berger showed her toughness in outlasting Martine it wouldn't surprise me if the winner of head to head competition among Senta Berger, Martine Beswick, Sybil Danning, and Pam Grier ended up being the winner of the whole tournament. I would expect a super fight between Martine and Sybil under normal conditions. With both viewing this fight as one of the necessary 'title fights' I expect this fight to be even better. The faint of heart should not watch this fight.
Edy Williams fights Farrah Fawcett: Edy lost by only two points to Suzanne's thigh master thighs. Farrah beat her co-star Jaclyn Smith, a not unexpected result to many. Edy takes one look at Farrah's 'skinny thighs' (at least compared to Suzanne's and smiles. She figures she will invite Farrah to wrap them around her body and then go to work on them. Then she will reverse positions and show Farrah how a real woman's legs can crush. Farrah knows Edy has 15 pounds on her. As far as she can see it is all softness. Farrah may be slender but she is wired with elongated muscles that she knows how to use. She figures Edy will underestimate her. Farrah figures she is the smarter fighter and will use Edy's own moves against her. Which fighter is right?
