Round 3 Previews Group 2 (no winners predicted)
Linda Evans vs Martine Beswick: I think this will be a great fight. Both women have been in lots of movie/TV fights. Both women are strong and of good size. Linda has the height advantage and Martine has a slight weight advantage. Both women believe they have a good chance to win it all so every fight to them has the intensity of a ‘title fight’. If either one loses it could dash her hopes for the ultimate title. So I expect both women to fight to exhaustion if necessary. I see every trick and hold in the book to be used. Those bikinis won’t stay on long and will most likely be used as weapons to bind their foe. Punches thrown will not be lady like slaps or punches but full on smashes. Which one of these two gorgeous and strong women will be able to take more punishment and come back to dish out even more punishment. Expect both women to be knocked on their asses and to get up and knock their enemy down. Victory will go to the last woman standing.
Goldie Hawn vs Jaclyn Smith: Where the Linda Evans vs Martine Beswick fight will be more like a man’s fight (if I may be so sexiest), this will be a womanly fight. Goldie and Jaclyn approach each other in gowns at the banquet after an awards ceremonies. Insults and verbal barbs are traded first. At some point one of them will slap the face of the other only to receive a slap in return. More insults are thrown back and forth before both women hit the other with their wraps. Jaclyn’s fur is a little heavier and so knocks Goldie more off balance. In fact Goldie will drop her sheer wrap and fight with Jaclyn for Jaclyn’s fur until it eventually rips in half. I see both women slowly and methodically attacking the other. As I said by trading slaps. Also by one reaching out and ripping the top of the gown down to expose bare breasts (Goldie’s) or bra (Jaclyn). Tugs of hair will be given to inflict pain with a face slap intersperse for humiliation. More ripping of gowns as they alternate attacks. Eventually one of them will be stripped nude and run off in embarrassment.
Suzanne Somers vs Elvira:: Legs against legs has to be the feature of this fight. Thigh master Suzanne think her legs are sexier and stronger than anyone else’s. Elvira made a career of showing off her legs and laughs at the thought that Suzanne’s are better in anyway. I see the two sitting on their relative perches facing each other, their dresses split open to reveal their legs. Elvira removes her shoes so both are bare feet. They start a seated leg battle. Kicking, wrapping their legs around the others, interlocking toes to bend the others foot back, and any other leg fight they can dream up. Eventually they move in close enough that one thigh is sandwiched between the thighs of the other. Both squeeze for a long time until one finally surrenders.
Sybil Danning vs Adrienne Barbeau:: Adrienne teases Sybil about her ‘small tits’ claiming that even with her silicon bags they are small for a stupid, no talented B-actress that Sybil tries to be. She strips completely nude and shakes her DD chest around, flaunting her boobs in Sybil’s face. Sybil is irked to say the least. She digs her fingers into Adrienne’s bouncing boobs. Adrienne fights back and finally gets Sybil’s bra off. The two then see who can maul and hurt the others breast the most. Adrienne challenges Sybil to a tit fight. They put their hands behind their backs and go at it tit to tit. Pressing into each other and also swinging their tits back and forth across the other. Can Sybil’s firmer but smaller 36Cs stand up to and best Adrienne’s softer but larger 34DDs or will Adrienne’s boobs outclass Sybil’s?
Ann-Margret vs Sherry Jackson:: For some reason Ann-Margret starts chasing Sherry Jackson around on the grass. Ann-Margret is faster and she tackles Sherry. Soon the two are face to face, wrestling and rolling on the ground. This is more of a wrestling match than a catfight although neither can resist some hairpulling for advantage or face slapping for effect. Slaps to the body and thighs will also resound but mainly the two will fight for position to get the other down and not let her up. They will roll in and other of the water but only in near the shore in shallow water. I predict the winner will eventually trap the loser in a schoolgirl pin just into the water.
Joey Heatherton vs Dian Parkinson:: Joey and Dian are at the Playboy Mansion for a photo shoot. They start comparing bodies and insulting the other’s body. Dian moves in and crowds Joey. She figures with 16 lbs and 2” on Joey she will get the better of Joey if they get into a fight. Joey is a real spitfire and may be one of the best pound for pound catfighters around. She won’t back down from anyone. They ask Hugh who is sexier with the better body and who he thinks is the better fighter. Hugh loves a good catfight and answers “Why don’t you two settle this yourselves.” He leads them to his way oversized bed and says “This is the place to settle it. Now go for it.” Joey and Dian get on their knees facing each other each wearing very sexy and see through nighties. Lots of rolling on the bed, lots of hairpulling, lots of slapping, and lots of scratching and even some biting. Certainly Joey is not above biting if she is in trouble and needs to get out. Expect attacks between the legs with vicious claws and even teeth before this one fight is done. No love lost here. I predict the meaner and nastier one will win. Which one is that?
Elke Sommer vs Britt Ekland:: Elke is swimming au natural at a party. She gets out of the pool displaying her magnificent body to the oohs and awes of the men and even some women. Britt Ekland is furious as such a blatant and vulgar display at her party. She sneaks up behind Elke in her burgundy dress, reaches around with her left hand and sinks her nails into Elke’s left breasts. She reaches between Elke’s legs with her right hand and latches onto Elke’s pussy hair and pussy. She parades Elke around in her ‘tit – cxnt’ hold at Elke’s embarrassment. Such a sneak attack is Britt’s best chance of winning a fight with the bigger and stronger Elke. Will Britt be able to maintain her hold and inflict enough pain to make Elke beg for her to stop or will Elke be able to escape, strip Britt and do the same to her?
Diane McBain vs Lindsay Wagner:: Another face slapping, belly punching, tit pounding, and cxnt slugging fight between two dressed women. Except this one is wilder than the Goldie Hawn vs Jaclyn Smith bitch off. Goldie and Jaclyn are more fair minded and alternate slaps and punches. Diane and Lindsay go at it fast and furiously. Each getting in as many slaps, punches, and even kicks as they can. In fact, expect the one who feels she is losing to suddenly grab her foe’s hair and take her to the ground when a full on catfight will ensue. Two quick and agile women will be all over each other in a back and forth catfight.
